Hopeful greetings from Minnesota.

[Morgue_Energy]

Hello, and good day to you all who read this post.

 

This is my first time stepping into a transgender space, so I'm unsure exactly of how to start. I identify as a trans male, and for years I did nothing about this knowledge. I knew who I was, but out of fear from backlash from my friends, family, and general populace I never dressed or presented myself as I wanted to. I came out around two years ago, and my mother denied my identity. She knows I've always had body issues, partly from being overweight, and partly due to past trauma, which were both issues my mother also suffered from. She assured me that my dysphoria was because of these causes, and refused to address me by my wanted pronouns. For a year my parents refused to accept me, until my older sister warned them with the damage denial from family can cause in trans youth, (which I am). My father apologized, and quickly started supporting me, though he is still hesitant towards me starting HRT due to my age. My mother meanwhile pretends to accept me, but she still uses she/her pronouns in reference to me quite frequently despite my reminders. I know she is set in the mindset that my being trans is a phase that she hopes I will grow out of quickly. It hurts even more so as my mother accepts other trans people, but because I like playing with dolls as a child she is set that I am just confused.

 

Recently I've decided to dress more obviously masculine, and as I am turning 18 in less than a month, I hope I will also be starting HRT soon. The problem is, with these changes it will become more obvious that I am a trans male, than just a 'tomboy'. I have a very large chest, and I know that it takes a minimum of 1 year on Testosterone to get top surgery, and I am unsure how that will affect my life in public areas. Especially bathrooms and the like. I've heard stories of hateful attacks and prejudice people carry, and I know I need to be prepared for any backlash I'll receive from people around me. But I refuse to stall, or purposeful stand in a closet door any longer. 

 

I hope to get advice from anyone who has any insight to my issues, and I am excited to get to know all of you.

 

The swellest of wishes, M_E.

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the forums M_E. 

10 minutes ago, Morgue_Energy said:

I know she is set in the mindset that my being trans is a phase that she hopes I will grow out of quickly.

 

At 55 years old (20 years ago) I had not grown out of the "phase" and in spite of her hopes, there is more and more information hitting the library shelves that shows it is a "phase" the parent goes through, and not the child, including a friend of mine who is an MD head of a Trans youth program at a major medical center near me.  Enjoy your time here and know that we care.   OH yes, give your dad a hug for his acceptance. 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, M_E.  I wish you well on this journey, and please know that we will do all we can to support you in reaching your goals.  I think it would be wise, and benefit you, to find a gender therapist.  They should be able to help you with resources, as well as serve as a third party expert that might convince your mother that you know full well who you are.

 

The early stages of transition are difficult times for most of us.  There is nothing you can't overcome with the right attitude, the right resources and determination.  I've known several trans men who were well endowed and did just fine.  There is a solution to every problem.  You'll find them, I'm sure.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[April Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse!! I know you'll find great resources and wonderful people here. I wish you much joy as you take this amazing journey of becoming your true self.

[Ivy]

Welcome M_E.

[Mmindy]

Good evening and welcome to TPF M_E

 

There are so many people here for you to make contact with. You're not alone.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Maddee]

Hi M.E.
Thanks for introducing yourself.  

please forgive my little intro:

Even though I was adult, I  had to get a professional to sign letters for HRT.  At the time,  I saw this as a gatekeeping thing that I had to get past asap.  

But when I finally received my prescription for hormones, I thought it would be wise to wait before taking them and starting irreversible medical transition.  I waited 3 more years before starting HRT and planning surgeries.  At no point was I feeling unsure about wanting it. Just about whether I could commit to irreversible medical transition. 
 

I had endured a lifetime of “dysphoria” without options, but I still I had  to be absolutely sure- that I wouldn’t want to turn back later after it was too late.   

 

That story is not you.  It’s  me.  
We’re all different.  

Just thought I’d mention it, considering what your talking about doing.

 

(Btw I have zero regrets.   I wish I could’ve done it waaay younger, but I am also grateful that I was sure and had no doubt when I was able to access the medicals. )
 

Best to you, man.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi M.E.,

 

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf 🐾

[Ashley0616]

Hi, M_E,

 

I can completely understand about no parent support and because of that I never came out. I didn't come out till recently at 38 years old. I'm glad to see that you have a lot of courage and hopefully she'll come around. I have been out since April this year and my Dad kept calling me a lot of derogatory names so I cut communication with him. My Mom hasn't called me Ashley neither have my family members except one nephew. One think I have learned as I get older the less I care about other's opinions. 

[MaeBe]

Hello from another Minnesotan!

 

The Twin Cities are pretty good for social acceptance of non-cisgender people. It's not 100% and I can remember at least one recent tragedy, but there seem to be good services and communities here. I hope you're doing well on your journey!