Moving and Travelling as a Trans Person

[RaeOfSunshine]

Good day-in a little less than a month, I will be relocating from Florida for a move over halfway across the country. I will be travelling by U-Haul with my car in tow, and the transit takes me through the entirety of Florida, through Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas. As a trans feminine person, I would say I am on the cusp of being read as female. I think a lot of my friends would argue that I definitely pass (aside from my voice, which is a work in progress). I'm looking for advice as to whether I should travel in "boy-mode" as I take myself and all my belongings through some right-leaning states. I "boy-mode" pretty poorly these days, so it would very much be a sports bra, baggy tee, and as long of shorts as I can find situation. 

 

Mostly just looking to remain as inconspicuous as possible and avoid becoming a target.

[April Marie]

I think inconspicuous is the way to go. Even as a single woman, you really don't want to draw unwanted attention. So, no matter how you go, subtle seems most sensible. And, you also want to be comfortable so a sports bra, baggy t-shirt and shorts would be my choice for travel, too.

 

Safe travels and I hope you find happiness in your new home!!

[LaurenA]

A baggy sweatshirt or jacket hides a lot of top development.  With the weather cooling off both could be appropriate.

[KayC]

@RaeOfSunshine I think you have already demonstrated a common sense approach to your concerns just by bringing it up and seeking opinions/experience.
As someone soon to socially transition (hopefully) I have similar concerns.  But I have no problem blending back into 'Boy-mode' when the situation dictates.  And I agree with April, inconspicuous and comfortable might be the way to go. 

My motto is 'when in doubt ... keep 'em guessing' 😉

 

I hope you have a safe and uneventful trip to your new home (and maybe update us on how it goes?)

[Maddee]

Depends which restroom you are comfortable using  at stops.  
Pick whichever, Then try to fit in.  
Most people dress down now.  Most important is that you feel comfortable and safe whatever you got going. 
 

I prefer staying near (fairly close but not intruding) other groups of people.  I avoid isolated places even though I like them and find them peaceful.  
 

Go about your business don’t dally or appear like you’re lost or alone.  

Stay aware around you.

If you’re lucky enough to have people to call, then use your phone to stay in contact.  

Good luck!  Excited for your move. 

[Mmindy]

Safe travels Rae,

 

As you or anyone else travel across the interstate system. Don't forget to plan your comfort stops, just as you would fuel stops. As a person who traveled 200K a year since 1999, in a F-250 pulling a 28' utility trailer. Even in "over compensating hyper masculine mode". I didn't use the truck-stops or rest area bathrooms very often. If I did... I looked for single or family bathrooms. Most of the time I found gender friendly coffee shops, restaurants, or national chain pharmacies or big box stores to use the bathrooms. Most of them have large enough parking lots for you, and in most cases are more secure than truck-stops.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[RaeOfSunshine]

26 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Safe travels Rae,

 

As you or anyone else travel across the interstate system. Don't forget to plan your comfort stops, just as you would fuel stops. As a person who traveled 200K a year since 1999, in a F-250 pulling a 28' utility trailer. Even in "over compensating hyper masculine mode". I didn't use the truck-stops or rest area bathrooms very often. If I did... I looked for single or family bathrooms. Most of the time I found gender friendly coffee shops, restaurants, or national chain pharmacies or big box stores to use the bathrooms. Most of them have large enough parking lots for you, and in most cases are more secure than truck-stops.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

 

Thank you!! This is exactly the advice I was looking for...using bathrooms in some of these places is definitely a major concern, I didn't really think too much about avoiding truck stops. I will have my dog with me, presenting an additional challenge to find stops. 

[Ashley0616]

I would maybe suggest dressing as unisex so if your male voice comes out you won't get stares.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Probably dress unisex.  Also, watch where you stop.  I actually RECOMMEND truck stops.  Why?  They see lots of people from all over the nation who dress in different ways, so they might be more accepting.  There's a growing number of truck drivers who are LGBTQ+.  Truck drivers know what its like to be in trouble and far from home, so if you need a hand many will be willing to help.  Also, lots of drivers have dogs, and so many truck stops are dog-friendly.  Just don't walk in the grass, for obvious reasons. 

 

Love's is a pretty good truck stop chain in the South, although some locations are a bit rough.  Usually they seem to be the cleanest chain, too, but it varies.  If bathrooms are an issue, you can actually buy a shower at a truck stop.  That means your own spacious, lockable, unisex, private bathroom.  Take as much time as you need, and spray with Lysol. 

 

Not all spots are nice.  Jackson, MS is one to avoid both for crime and cleanliness.  Generally, things are better 50 miles out from the big cities.  You can read reviews online before you stop, and they have an app that can take you right to ones on your route.  They're also physically large places, so if you aren't used to towing a trailer it can be easier to get in and out.  I've noticed that budget motels are frequently close by, and there's a location generally about every 50-90 miles along interstates. 

[Birdie]

Androgynous is always a good choice, and I do wear 100% off the women's rack and androgynous 90% of the time. I also find cis women around me will wear tanks and T's with jeans or slacks, so I'm really just wearing what's normal for some women. 

 

I have dresses and sexy tops, but I wouldn't wear those to places I'm not comfortable with anyways. 

 

I always keep my makeup on the light side, and spend most of my time styling my hair. 

 

As someone else said, "keep them guessing."