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By Birdie · Posted
Funny..... The day-centre transportation director told me yesterday morning that I was to receive an award, my picture on the website, etc... for having won the billiards tournament (I knew better). Later that afternoon he returns to "shake my hand" and tell me, "thanks for participating." I could have told him that was all I would receive earlier. I'm not well liked by management. -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
The Power of Feeling our Feelings: a story of joy and pain https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1683051267452-AAZVC5ZJZ5E2XRBOOPRE/unsplash-image-rOKbmUbcOVg.jpg Does “joy” feel like a distant memory or an intangible experience for you? Are you on the journey of seeking more joy in your life? Maybe you’ve found this blog, as in your healing journey, “more joy” is the beacon that gets you through the tough times, and you are fearlessly on the quest to learn more about trauma, anxiety and depression and how to support a more joyous life. If that sounds like you, then welcome, this post is for you, and if that doesn’t feel like you that’s okay too, I invite you to stay for a story. Let me tell you a story about a woman named Ellie who came to therapy with the goal of “wanting to feel more joy + lightness in her life”. She sat on the couch across from me…she was so eternally wise, and self-aware. She had worked so hard to get to this place of understanding herself, but she still felt stuck and nowhere closer to her joyful, fulfilled life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684948947151-PH97YWGUXYF7JJT25K1I/image-asset.jpeg She came back session after session, explaining her struggles and breaking down the gritty details of who she was, until one day I said, I paused her again in attempts to help her connect more with her emotional experience, For the first time in her therapy experience, Ellie was still, she took a moment to check inside and find her sadness…she was really being with her emotional experience. Sometimes as humans we can be aware of feelings, but struggle to FEEL the feelings, tuning in to our emotions and letting them take up space. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684949533886-EOI9VPKBEQ2EZHERTYT1/image-asset.jpeg All of a sudden she felt her throat getting tighter, her heart sinking, and tears welling up in her eyes. She said, as she began to cry, “ yeah I feel so sad because…” I so ever gently interrupted her again “hey Ellie it’s okay, can we just let the sadness be there, it's SO important why, and also its SO important to just feel, so just feel sad my dear”. Ellie, hearing this, felt her shoulders drop and soften in surrender, and spent the next minute or so letting her tears flow, crying, and being guided by me, to find support in her own breath and the pillows and blankets on the couch. This somatic release, was exactly what she needed. She cried, while I held space, providing compassionate support and company, until Ellie felt a huge sense of relief wash over her body and exclaimed “woah that felt so cathartic, I feel lighter”. I cracked a very stereotypical nerdy therapist joke and Ellie let out a HUGE chuckle, beginning to laugh deep into her belly, and that feeling of lightness transformed into a moment of JOY! Could it be? Ellie settled into a feeling of calm after her chuckle with me and asked, “What just happened? For a moment there I felt so light and wow, I really laughed. Is that joy? How is that possible?” I then began to share a bit of on emotions…."Let me explain the connection between our pain and joy. They might be more connected than you think!” Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment, and they can motivate us to take action or change our behavior. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950220510-2BYGYE4A5XKZODNS2I0Y/image-asset.jpeg However, it is common for people to try to avoid or suppress emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear. They may try to explain it away, finding logical and “cognitive” ways to cope with the pain…. While this may seem like a reasonable strategy to avoid discomfort, it can actually have negative consequences, including a reduced ability to feel positive emotions. Our emotions are interconnected and interdependent, they are all processed in the same areas of the brain. The neural pathways that process pain are called the nociceptive pathways. The nociceptive pathways send signals to the brain's pain center, the somatosensory cortex, which processes the sensory information and generates the experience of pain. However, the same neural pathways that process pain can also process pleasure and joy. This is because the somatosensory cortex does not just process sensory information related to pain; it also processes sensory information related to other physical sensations, such as touch, temperature, and pressure. When we experience pleasure and joy, these sensory signals are processed in the same way as pain signals. However, instead of activating the pain center, they activate the brain's pleasure center. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950865903-TQRJXIIXD3SHELV065QA/image-asset.jpeg This means that the same sensory channels in the brain can be activated by both pain and pleasure, but the experience we have depends on which part of the brain is activated. When the pain center is activated, we experience pain, and when the pleasure center is activated, we experience pleasure and joy. Pain and joy are actually closely related to each other, cousins if you will! In other words, our emotional experiences are not isolated events, but rather a complex and dynamic system of interrelated experiences. When we try to avoid or suppress our perceived negative emotions, we are essentially shutting down a part of our emotional experience. This can create a "numbing" effect, where we feel less overall emotion, both positive and negative. This is because the brain processes emotions as a whole, so if we try to suppress painful or uncomfortable emotions, it can also reduce the intensity and richness of positive emotions. Research has shown that people who struggle to identify or express their emotions, particularly painful ones, often experience lower levels of overall emotional experience, including positive emotions. This is because our ability to experience positive emotions is dependent on our ability to process and regulate negative emotions. By suppressing negative emotions, we may be hindering our ability to fully experience positive emotions. _____________________________ So, to wrap up this short story with a nice bow… Ellie was able to FEEL into her sadness, thus allowing her to FEEL into the depths of her own experience of joy. She was activating “stuck” pain and moving through the experience, using those key areas of the brain, so her JOY was fully expressed as well. This is why….I extend an invitation for you to FEEL it all my dear, the heavy and awful, the light, and all the emotions in between. These different parts of us, make up who we are. If it feels too scary at first that's okay, maybe find a trusted friend or a therapist that can help support you in feeling safe to express your emotions slowly, bit by bit, over time. And If you are ready to lean into those heavier feelings, let them out, because the pain that you may be avoiding feeling, just might be the very thing you need to feel, to then welcome and unlock the feeling of JOY. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57cc4071725e25df3ef3c66a/1684950934538-PW47TOU8LXR9AINGG53F/unsplash-image-ktPKyUs3Qjs.jpg At Integrative Psychotherapy we help clients engage in therapy so they can feel more comfortable in their skin and befriend alllll their emotions. -
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By LucyF · Posted
So I have started HRT and its been almost 3 weeks. Here are the changes I have seen so far: week 1 - Hours after I started, it felt like a fog has lifted and I felt so much better about everything. Almost like I can now actually be happy. My skin is so less oily and so much smoother week 2 - I have noticed that my senses seem to be more refined. I smell things I just didn't notice before. I can concentrate so much better. Its almost like going from video to and HD blue ray disc. week 3 - ok, boobs are itching on and off and tiredness is setting in slightly. Still feel on top of the world. Apart from that, my daughter (9 year old) is struggling at the moment. We are having open dialogue which is helping, and I am getting in touch with a child psychologist that will hopefully help. Onwards and upwards. -
By VickySGV · Posted
I want to hold back on this one until more solid information comes out. The defendant is claiming it was accidental, but the Trans side is demanding a hate crime scenario which an accident would preclude. Pardon the phrase, but as I read this folks are jumping the gun here. -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://www.advocate.com/crime/trans-teen-jazlynn-johnson-killed This is a tragic ruination of two young lives. It is very sad. May Jazlynn rest in peace. Carolyn Marie -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Well, here's the big questions: What does it mean to be masculine? What does it mean to be a woman? I've been around a lot of rule-bending in those areas. There's all sorts of "traditional" views about what men and women do. Men work on mechanical things, defend/protect, earn a living, play rough sports, etc. Women cook and clean, are gentle and nurturing, value aesthetics over function, etc. Yet, my very "masculine" industrial-manager husband cooks just as well as any Betty Crocker wannabe, and tells the bedtime stories that are most in-demand by the kids. My GF, who is surely "ALL Girl" is a highly skilled mechanic, a street racer, was busily laying concrete while 6 months pregnant, and practices kenjutsu (Japanese sword fighting skills). And me? I'm AFAB but I'm infertile and I feel like I should have had a male body...yet I possess very little in the way of "manly" skills or desire to acquire them. I'm in my boy form these days, but pretty much useless for accomplishing "boy stuff." I think my family blew those definitions out of the water. Yet, somehow our family structure is also religiously patriarchal....and happily so! It'll bend your brain to try to figure that one out. I'd say its just important to be you, do what you do best, and stick your tongue out at anybody who doesn't like it. -
By JenniferB · Posted
Welcome to the board gizgizgizzie! I sure can understand what dysphoria feels like. I found it stayed in my head during nearly all waking hours. Although, sometimes held in a little deeper. But it was triggered easily. I hope you can find that place you feel comfortable with yourself. This is a good place to find help as you traverse your journey. Jennifer -
By VickySGV · Posted
Welcome to the Forums @gizgizgizzie we have folks in your situations to talk to and share with. -
By gizgizgizzie · Posted
hi everyone, my name is giz (or gizzie), i use all prns but i prefer they/it and i just found out abt this place pretty recently !! im really excited to find community among other trans people from so many walks of life !! in my personal life, i do have trans/queer friends but its not easy to navigate that without coming out all willy nilly (and i can't come out to my family, pretty much ever) so this is a pretty good place for me to get to know people and make new friends !! i also have this weird dysphoria issue that i feel like everyone (and society at large lol) is attaching me to categories and boxes that don't really fit me (obviously this is to do with my agab) so being here without that presentation is also really helpful !! i also hope to be able to start and share my transitions goals and things like that (just getting my body to a more androgynous look) !! thanks for reading, and i hope to see more of y'all soon !! -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Well, my friends are out publicly. Openly transgender, and on HRT. I agree that the survival of all of us is at stake. But I think there are threats greater and more dangerous than those faced exclusively by LGBTQ folks. Rising prices. Unaffordable food. EPA strangling transportation and energy. Needless foreign wars that put us at risk of literal nuclear annihilation. A government that wants to tax us, track us, and control every aspect of our lives...including using us as guinea pigs for their medical experiments. Trump is no savior. Neither is the Republican party. But I believe that a vote for Democrats in the federal government is for sure a vote for globalism and what follows it. War, famine, plague, slavery, and death don't care if we're trans or cis.
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