Is there anywhere to just talk to someone if im not going to kill myself?

[Penrose-Pauling]

I'm not gonna kill myself, as the title says. I'm just having a hard time and its being worked out but I don't want to talk to my family or someone in person. I have no friends, none in person anyway and the ones online don't really get it. I don't get why I can't find someone who can just know what I mean and not give me the old "it gets better" shtick. I know I just have to deal with these problems, no amount of self improvement will ever truly get rid of it. 

[Carolyn Marie]

The Trans Lifeline folks will talk to you like they know what you're going through, because, being trans, they do know.  As has been mentioned before, you can join our Chat Room and talk to our own well trained, empathetic folks, and of course, you can PM folks from the Forums who have shown you kindness and empathy.

 

Carolyn Marie

[missyjo]

Penrose,

darling, I'm no therapist or expert, but I'll hold your hand n try to reassure you this too will get better n pass n all will be ok

 

please darling, we all have those dark moments, hours, days, periods..but you must fight them..fight them for what you want. and we here, will stand by you to try to help

 

message me if you'd like dear

 

keep posting

 

keep fighting the darkness

 

we here love you how you are.

we will support you

we will support your goals, even if nobody..usually non-trans family n friends, even if they dont..because they don't understand 

 

I still try to dress male 1 day per week n take mom out. siblings see it as no biggie  pick a different pair of jeans n shirt..tell another transgender person? they cringe..they know I cry every time I dress male. they know I rush home n change back to missy as fast as possible  because they've been there

 

we all walk this journey  different nuances  but we get it more than they do, because we're stuck living this hellish curse too

 

please dear, please rely on your friends here. 

we will hold your hand n hold you up when you tire..as others held us dear.

 

deep hugs 

 

promise me you'll banish those destructive thoughts n try connecting with us.

please

 

hugs

[missyjo]

my 1 sibbling spent months telling me Bible passages of why I'm a captured by Satan...but how do you know God didn't make us transgender on purpose, also in His image, for reasons? we don't know. maybe God made us this way on purpose, since God doesn't make mistakes

 

I like to think God wanted us this way..for some reason..so embrace yourself..we have a special mission I tell myself. I know I'm kinder than I was as a male. Maybe we're not mistakes, maybe we are God's special children made with special goals for society to be furthered by us. that makes me feel better than God made a mistake, n church teaches God doesn't make mistakes. so He made us on purpose. good. we are special. 

smile darling

 

hugs

[Penrose-Pauling]

8 minutes ago, missyjo said:

my 1 sibling spent months telling me Bible passages of why I'm a captured by Satan...but how do you know God didn't make us transgender on purpose, also in His image, for reasons? we don't know. maybe God made us this way on purpose, since God doesn't make mistakes

 

I like to think God wanted us this way..for some reason..so embrace yourself..we have a special mission I tell myself. I know I'm kinder than I was as a male. Maybe we're not mistakes, maybe we are God's special children made with special goals for society to be furthered by us. that makes me feel better than God made a mistake, n church teaches God doesn't make mistakes. so He made us on purpose. good. we are special. 

smile darling

 

hugs

Thanks, I don't even know if I believe in God. I wasn't brought up very religious but my family is lutheran so I kinda always had the idea of god with me. 

[missyjo]

you don't have to believe in God, but I do..n that's how I square the concepts

 

maybe God has always been there with you, even if you were not religious?

 

we will be here with you darling

 

we are not mistake n we are wirthy of love like everyone else

[Ashley0616]

39 minutes ago, Penrose-Pauling said:

Thanks, I don't even know if I believe in God. I wasn't brought up very religious but my family is lutheran so I kinda always had the idea of god with me. 

I guess it depends on what Synod it is. I grew up Missouri Synod but they have pretty much kicked me out. I transferred down to an Evangelical Lutheran church that accepts everyone as they are. It’s weird how different it is. 

[missyjo]

Ashley 

 

I fought to keep going to roman catholic church's but in September the local Bishops issued a proclamation that trans = evil n basically excommunicated us

 

-expletive- them

 

I don't need a building to believe, pray n worship God

but they also won't get another cent from me either

 

so I pray privately or publically, just not in the building

 

I like to think of Jesus tearing down the church n rebuilding it..maybe it has lost its way

 

hugs

[Penrose-Pauling]

11 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I guess it depends on what Synod it is. I grew up Missouri Synod but they have pretty much kicked me out. I transferred down to an Evangelical Lutheran church that accepts everyone as they are. It’s weird how different it is. 

It does. We have a lot of bad evangelical churches here, even one of those mega churches you see on tv. I've never been to a service once in my life so I don't know. But where I live is very conservative, so the people in church reflect that. Almost everyone in my school goes to church, aside form the minority kids. 

[Louise B]

Penrose-Pauling, did you find someone to talk to?

[Penrose-Pauling]

18 hours ago, Louise B said:

Penrose-Pauling, did you find someone to talk to?

Yeah, its fine now

[Louise B]

Good.  If that changes, or you just need to share with a fresh person, let me know.

[missyjo]

sending Penrose hugs

 

hope you're feeling OK baby