Would You Date A Transsexual?

[Guest Draik]

There's this girl I like in my language class and I was thinking of maybe asking her out. She doesn't know I'm trans and I'm not sure if I want to tell her anytime soon. Somehow during the debate on whether or not I should ask her out I got myself on the subject of would I date someone who was transgender. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't. Since I like girls I guess I would be going out with a MTF and I just couldn't see myself doing it. Especially if they hadn't gotten bottom surgery yet. It would just seem.... Weird. It's not that I would have anything against them it's just I don't think I could be physically attracted to them... If that makes sense.

So Guys would you date a MTF? And I guess for you MTFs, who I know like to lurk on our board, would you date a FTM?

[Guest Pól]

More depends on the person than on whether they're trans for me, I think.

I understand what you're saying, but that's not really how I feel.

Like anything else, it's both different and the same for everyone, I suppose.

[Guest Martin]

I dated a trans women once. I'd do it again. I'd also date a trans man. Or a genderqueer person. Or someone who was otherwise trans. You didn't ask this, but I'd also date cisgendered cissexuals. I consider myself pansexual - I'd be attracted to every combination of sex and gender. I care more about what kind of person he/she/ze is. Good ethics, humor, etc.

[Guest Pól]

also date cisgendered cissexuals.

A point of clarification here, please.

cissexuals? I don't understand the combination of the prefix with the root here. cis=on the same side, so cisgendered=someone whose sex matches their gender...cissexual=homosexual?

[Guest Vivian]

I would date a transsexual mtf or ftm if I'm attracted to their personality and spirit.

Vivian

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I'd date a transwoman in a second. It wasn't until recently that I had met any MTF's in person (still don't know a ton of them). For me, it's more about the person than anything else. My preference is to date people that fall on the feminine side of the spectrum, but I don't discriminate based on past gender identity. It isn't a big deal to me.

Unfortunately, the two transladies I thought were way cool weren't interested in men.

[Sally]

I'll drop in and give you one woman's view point, yes I would date a transman, to me relationships are more about personalities and character than about anything sexual so I wouldn't mid how much surgery he had or had not had at the time that we met or at anytime after.

I am attracted to smart, kind people with a good sense of humor and a generous nature - look around and read the post almost all of the FTMs here fit that discription - compare that to the average sports team locker room and the percentages drop drastically.

For the most part Transmen have a great deal more to offer in the truly important areas of understanding and support.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Neuro]

I'd date an MTF or an FTM c:

So long as they were

a) kind

understanding

c) not over-dramatic!

XD!

But, that goes for anyone male female anyone in between. Not too picky, I hope. (glasses and love for labcoat are a plus XD)

--Michael

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I guess everyone here knows about me and Leo by now!

Anyway - I would love anyone who I ran across for them, not their body. So I would certainly date a FTM - now it seems unlikely I would date a MTF, although who knows - I mean we would be so busy comparing nail colors and dating experiences! I could see rooming with a transperson - i think it would be fun, as long as the 'drama' was minimal!

So there is a MTF veiw.

Lizzy

Does Evan date anyone now?

[Guest Martin]

Pól, I'll see if I can explain. You're right that cis = on the same side. Thus a cissexual is someone whose gender is on the same side as their birth sex; that is, not transsexual. Cisgender is the opposite of transgender. Usually I only use cissexual because some transsexuals, especially binary-identified post-transition transsexuals, feel like they are cisgendered. Just not cissexual. I used both in the above statement, but I think I would have been clearer if I said binary-identified cissexuals. Or something like that. Basically a man who was born male and had no desire to bend gender roles or a woman who was born female and had no desire to bend gender roles. While I'm open to dating trans people of any flavor, I'm also open to dating people who are very not-trans. Does that make sense? And did I manage to do that without sounding offensive?

[Guest Konnor]

Did I miss something? Is Lizzy really dating Leo?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Did I miss something? Is Lizzy really dating Leo?

Honey we live on two continents - Leo is 43 years younger - but he is a sweetheart and a knockout. We WOULD possibly be an item if I wasn't so old and wrinkled.

Anyway I suspect Leo is a gold-digger and feels I have money - my fifth husband (whom I gently and lovingly poisoned) had a preneptual clause and I got very little in the Will - only the two smaller mansions, the vacation home in Hawaii, and $20,000 a month in expenses. So I guess Leo will drop me now.

Grin'n'

Lizzy

[Guest Konnor]

Lol, ok I'm glad you cleared that up for me! Sounds like you got a good deal out of your 5th hubby!

[Guest 1Char]

I've dated an ftm so... Yes!

Ps. I have a giant ramp sticker of the zero or die on my wall! Cool coincidence!

[Guest joeytheman16]

I have a couple answers. I would probably date a mtf if she was done with surgery and looked REALLY feminine. (sorry I am a typical guy, I like the girls with nice butts and a good chest!)

Also, my girlfriend knows about me and she treats me as a man. Even before she knew and we got together, she treated me as a guy. Most girls are really accepting. Unless I just got lucky with almost every girlfriend I have had.

--Joey

[Guest Pól]

Pól, I'll see if I can explain. You're right that cis = on the same side. Thus a cissexual is someone whose gender is on the same side as their birth sex; that is, not transsexual. Cisgender is the opposite of transgender. Usually I only use cissexual because some transsexuals, especially binary-identified post-transition transsexuals, feel like they are cisgendered. Just not cissexual. I used both in the above statement, but I think I would have been clearer if I said binary-identified cissexuals. Or something like that. Basically a man who was born male and had no desire to bend gender roles or a woman who was born female and had no desire to bend gender roles. While I'm open to dating trans people of any flavor, I'm also open to dating people who are very not-trans. Does that make sense? And did I manage to do that without sounding offensive?

A ha. OK that makes a lot of sense. I think I got what you were driving at there ("Basically a man who was born male and had no desire to bend gender roles or a woman who was born female and had no desire to bend gender roles.), I was just confused by the terminology.

Thanks, Martin!

[Guest My_Genesis]

Since I like girls I guess I would be going out with a MTF and I just couldn't see myself doing it. Especially if they hadn't gotten bottom surgery yet. It would just seem.... Weird. It's not that I would have anything against them it's just I don't think I could be physically attracted to them... If that makes sense.

So Guys would you date a MTF? And I guess for you MTFs, who I know like to lurk on our board, would you date a FTM?

Yeah actually I feel the same way. I actually posted a thread once about how I felt guilty about it

I think that (and this is just my little theory lol) in general, girls are inherently more flexible with sexuality and what's comfortable vs what's not. Guys tend to be a lot more narrow-minded, for lack of a better word, in terms of comfort. Maybe this is one reason that, at least from my point of view, it is more common for women to be bisexual than men. Most guys I know are predominantly one way or the other...and don't leave much room for compromise. (obviously this is a generalization, i do know bi guys but i probably know more trans people than bi guys!)

So that could just as well apply to anyone who's trans. I dunno, I'm picky to begin with, like I tend to set high standards anyway (with personality, compatibility, etc, not just physical appearance.) I kinda feel bad saying that but it's true. I'm a perfectionist I guess that implies a search for perfection... (not good for dysphoria either )

[Guest My_Genesis]

I think I should add, if I do happen to find a mtf attractive I wouldn't have a problem dating a mtf..

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, the right person is always of intrest to me...

Love matters, as does sense of humor, kindness, and a preference for dogs!...lol

I would ever be picky....the right person is all that matters!

Hugg....

Donna Jean

[Guest Tofi]

I think my answer would change depending where I was or where the other person was on the transition road. If for example I had had all surgeries was setteled on hormones etc I wouldn't date either MTF OR FTM at the begining of the process as I know how stressfull and upseting it is at times and selfishly I don't think I could cope with it all again but if they were at the same stage as me then I would date them if they had the qulities I look for in a partner. It is tho highly unlikely I would ever date and fully transitiond FTM that was very masculine or at least in a exclusive relationship. But as with everything in life you never know what might happen.

[Guest Zabrak]

I would have no problem dating a mtf or a ftm. Although I use to sway towards men more, I think I am attracted to females in behavior and more physically towards male for sexual things in a partner. So where does that leave me? I guess...I want a feminine male or a girl.

[Guest B.heard]

Ive only ever dated bio women but I wouldnt have a problem dating a trans person which ever way they were flowing. (mtf /ftm)

I think the aspects that put me off people are general and not gender related, if anything a person who been through this with me might be a better match a type of soul mate maybe who knows.

[Guest Leigh]

i'd date either. if they were a person who's ideals i shared. or who i was attracted to...

it's all about the individual for me. no judgments on gender, there are more important things to worry about, so why limit myself...?

and, you know..why limit myself anyway... more for me...lol.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest Leigh]

I dated a trans women once. I'd do it again. I'd also date a trans man. Or a genderqueer person. Or someone who was otherwise trans. You didn't ask this, but I'd also date cisgendered cissexuals. I consider myself pansexual - I'd be attracted to every combination of sex and gender. I care more about what kind of person he/she/ze is. Good ethics, humor, etc.

right on.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest ~Brenda~]

To be honest Draik,

Being trans or not is not a criteria for me for dating someone. If during my dating the person, it turns out that they are trans... well it would not change my interest in them in any way. We are dating because there is something that we want to share with one another. We want to be with one another.

Love

Brenda