Would You Date A Transsexual?

[Guest Zabrak]

rofl a list?

Yeah, I saw a few people post in here with a 'list' of what they want.

I found its better not to look, and just to let it happen.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Yeah, I saw a few people post in here with a 'list' of what they want.

I found its better not to look, and just to let it happen.

yeah i agree; thats the one aspect of life where i think about things that way. lol. normally i like to put things in categories and all that fun stuff , but i also like to be realistic and i dont think lists are realistic in this case.

one of my friends told me she has a "mental list" of like her perfect soulmate or smth...idk. whatever, the only mental list i have is a celeb crush list lol

i mean yeah there are qualities i look for or i think are most compatible with my own personality but i dont really need a list of specifics like favourite tv shows and stuff. i still have yet to find someone whose taste in music is similar to mine..why should that matter in the long run when youre dating someone? hard enough to find platonically.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

There's this girl I like in my language class and I was thinking of maybe asking her out. She doesn't know I'm trans and I'm not sure if I want to tell her anytime soon. Somehow during the debate on whether or not I should ask her out I got myself on the subject of would I date someone who was transgender. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't. Since I like girls I guess I would be going out with a MTF and I just couldn't see myself doing it. Especially if they hadn't gotten bottom surgery yet. It would just seem.... Weird. It's not that I would have anything against them it's just I don't think I could be physically attracted to them... If that makes sense.

So Guys would you date a MTF? And I guess for you MTFs, who I know like to lurk on our board, would you date a FTM?

I have thought about this a lot. I doubt the chance to meet a FtM will ever happen...however if it was the right person I would date that person. Yes I would be open to the idea.

[Guest Javey]

Yes, i would. MTF or FTM. Or somewhere between there. For me, I'm more focused on the person Then the parts they have. Gets me in trouble sometimes, cuz i end up liking homophobic girls. OOPS! But being that i already am attracted to both genders, i guess i don't see much that turns me off.

[Guest Evan_J]

Does Evan date anyone now?

Amaaazing what you will miss on this forum.

There I was...bored.....reading through back topics on the FtM forum cuz it always seems I miss stuff there......lol

Hmmmmm (yep, long Evan-answer coming) There was I time when I absolutely would have said, no, I date genetic girls. Now? I dunno. There's the "oh I see past packaging"....."bigger than that"..thing, but honestly (and I may not live up to a few peoples expectations) I know that I honestly am affected by even genetic girls packaging and so I don't know what I can say.

Lemme explain. A) There is the whole "homophobia" thing. I would have issues if she was pre-op. But then (and this is past the homophobia) I even get "less than attracted" when my genetic girls behave "less than" what I think a feminine girl should be behaving as. So how "crazy" might I limit what I could and could not deal with knowing my partner previously was (even if its only physically) a sex that "I don't do"? B ) And this is terrible before you keep readin but true- I get not just "shallow" with regard to the physicality but when I've attempted to "ignore" the physical and just date someone based on their personality (I've done it twice with two genetic girls) even though I "love" the person and "enjoy being with them" and blah blah, I might physically actually not be able to get aroused. Regardless of the emotions if I don't have a package that "stimulates" me. That doesn't mean she has to be Miss America, but it does mean that physical will play a part even when I consciously "don't want it to" and I'm too old to pretend I don't know that about me now. So then I have to wonder, how would that play if I dated someone MtF? Cuz I would need the round bottom and (I'm throwin this in just for you Liz ) at least 6 inches between their underside of the boobs to the top and yes the uh "the girl area". I don't function in a sexual sense unless I'm with someone with those things. And, honestly , I'm one with the libido of a typical male so no way can I tell somebody "sex means nothing to me". I'd be b.s.ing and "getting it from someplace. " (God I feel "weak" admitting that. Freaking "slave" to....well *sigh)

And that's my answer and I managed to do it all without saying whether or not I was dating anybody

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

I'm pansexual so I really don't care about a person's biological gender. BTW, pansexual means attraction to all genders.

[Guest skyy]

i guess i'm pan then, i just like all humans. so yea, i'd date a transsexual, any type. Deeedoo is everything a person can be, and i guess i'm one of the few people who would appreciate it all.

but stupid question, what is the difference between bi and pan?

i love the sex quote, it is so true. that would be downright terrifying to have to go through it if didnt feel good.

[Guest April63]

I could date a transsexual. I mean, I could date anyone. It's just a date! If things don't turn out well, it's just a date! If things go good, then there's more dates.

[Guest Zabrak]

I could date a transsexual. I mean, I could date anyone. It's just a date! If things don't turn out well, it's just a date! If things go good, then there's more dates.

I like Aprils answer to this. Short and sweet and to the point.

[Guest Cody_T]

but stupid question, what is the difference between bi and pan?

basically bi means that they're attracted to male and female, and as we know on here, there are more genders than just male and female. Pan people can and may be attracted to any gender- it's usually explained as being attracted to people rather than genders. I'm sure that a lot of people who classify themselves as bi would agree with being pan if they knew about it, it's just a lot less known.

[Guest sara w.]

Definatly, ive actually had a few dreams where I had a transguy boyfriend, where he he;d me in his arms and kissed me passionatly, too bad its never happened in real life >.<

[Guest Evan_J]

I could date a transsexual. I mean, I could date anyone. It's just a date! If things don't turn out well, it's just a date! If things go good, then there's more dates.

Good point defining how you hear the word "date". For me I'm one of those who "go out" (which is what you call "date") with people and then I "date" (which really is a misnomer cuz I actually mean see long term and possibly exclusively) people more "intensely" (meaning it likely includes sex).

[Guest Ryles_D]

I almost definitely wouldn't date a transman.

I wouldn't mind dating a transgirl.

I greatly prefer non-binaries, especially neutrois, though. So I guess I'm pretty homo.

Overall- the biggest thing is that I'd have to like them and they'd have to be a transamorous or panromantic asexual who's okay with polyamorous relationships that my partner also likes enough to be okay iwht it.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Amaaazing what you will miss on this forum.

There I was...bored.....reading through back topics on the FtM forum cuz it always seems I miss stuff there......lol

Hmmmmm (yep, long Evan-answer coming) There was I time when I absolutely would have said, no, I date genetic girls. Now? I dunno. There's the "oh I see past packaging"....."bigger than that"..thing, but honestly (and I may not live up to a few peoples expectations) I know that I honestly am affected by even genetic girls packaging and so I don't know what I can say.

Lemme explain. A) There is the whole "homophobia" thing. I would have issues if she was pre-op. But then (and this is past the homophobia) I even get "less than attracted" when my genetic girls behave "less than" what I think a feminine girl should be behaving as. So how "crazy" might I limit what I could and could not deal with knowing my partner previously was (even if its only physically) a sex that "I don't do"? B ) And this is terrible before you keep readin but true- I get not just "shallow" with regard to the physicality but when I've attempted to "ignore" the physical and just date someone based on their personality (I've done it twice with two genetic girls) even though I "love" the person and "enjoy being with them" and blah blah, I might physically actually not be able to get aroused. Regardless of the emotions if I don't have a package that "stimulates" me. That doesn't mean she has to be Miss America, but it does mean that physical will play a part even when I consciously "don't want it to" and I'm too old to pretend I don't know that about me now. So then I have to wonder, how would that play if I dated someone MtF? Cuz I would need the round bottom and (I'm throwin this in just for you Liz ) at least 6 inches between their underside of the boobs to the top and yes the uh "the girl area". I don't function in a sexual sense unless I'm with someone with those things. And, honestly , I'm one with the libido of a typical male so no way can I tell somebody "sex means nothing to me". I'd be b.s.ing and "getting it from someplace. " (God I feel "weak" admitting that. Freaking "slave" to....well *sigh)

And that's my answer and I managed to do it all without saying whether or not I was dating anybody

oh man, you are good, really good. lol, and this whole time i was trying to be all diplomatic. but i have to say i agree with everything you said.....except for the "homophobic" part. i think I get what you mean, I just think homophobia is the wrong word. and a true "homophobe" is often the one suspicious one..so...autohomophobia?

lol.

but still, there are some mtf's I consider attractive..Calpernia Addams is a typical example

[Guest skyy]

thanks for the info on pan, that is definitly what i am. i like all the catagories in their own special way, but for me, its really about knowing the person. i suppose i sort of prefer trans-related people, but is really because of the connection. but this is all hypothetical, cause i got Deeedoo who is all of these things.

[Guest Evan_J]

oh man, you are good, really good. lol, and this whole time i was trying to be all diplomatic. but i have to say i agree with everything you said.....except for the "homophobic" part. i think I get what you mean, I just think homophobia is the wrong word. and a true "homophobe" is often the one suspicious one..so...autohomophobia?

lol.

but still, there are some mtf's I consider attractive..Calpernia Addams is a typical example

See I been tryin to tell you I "get " you. I'm twenty some-odd years older than you lol and hadda go through a whole bunch of unnecessary (if I'da just learned at the start to frik off what other people thought .....) crap to get here but I do "get" a lot of what you say. Its' why I tell you to throw it out lol. But you wanna go try to elevate it to an art form lol.

And you're right about the "really" homophobia thing. Even though....(scratches his head....)....I don't know what autohomophobia is (stands there looking lost and perplexed) LOLO I dunno. I think I can see what two guys see in bein intimate. (I've read gay novels, didn't I tell ya'll that a loooong time ago?) And even seen at least one FTM who I thought "looked nice" (but he wasn't in transition then and really I was lookin at the female body lol somethin he undoubtedly woulda NOT felt good over)but homosexuality just isn't "me" . Doesn't "do" (arousal wise or anything) anything "for " me . In a wierd way I always feel like I'm being "unauthentically" trans. Like you "should" be all these "pansexual" "liberal" things and it isn't me Any way, it pisses me off when people (gay men and ftms but ....) "press" the &^%&* question. That's when I get angry and feel like its "homophobia" then.

[Guest skyy]

dont feel bad being a straight dude. its just part of what make you who you are. i suppose if being gay isnt a choice, then being straight isnt either. (i only understand it in theory, since for me it really is just a choice of preferance) besides, if anything, you are more normal than us pan people. being 100% straight doesnt equal homophobia in my mind. just as long as you dont mind gay people being gay, so long as they dont persue you after you make it clear you arent interested, then i dont think you have anything to worry about.

[Guest My_Genesis]

See I been tryin to tell you I "get " you. I'm twenty some-odd years older than you lol and hadda go through a whole bunch of unnecessary (if I'da just learned at the start to frik off what other people thought .....) crap to get here but I do "get" a lot of what you say. Its' why I tell you to throw it out lol. But you wanna go try to elevate it to an art form lol.

And you're right about the "really" homophobia thing. Even though....(scratches his head....)....I don't know what autohomophobia is (stands there looking lost and perplexed) LOLO I dunno. I think I can see what two guys see in bein intimate. (I've read gay novels, didn't I tell ya'll that a loooong time ago?) And even seen at least one FTM who I thought "looked nice" (but he wasn't in transition then and really I was lookin at the female body lol somethin he undoubtedly woulda NOT felt good over)but homosexuality just isn't "me" . Doesn't "do" (arousal wise or anything) anything "for " me . In a wierd way I always feel like I'm being "unauthentically" trans. Like you "should" be all these "pansexual" "liberal" things and it isn't me Any way, it pisses me off when people (gay men and ftms but ....) "press" the &^%&* question. That's when I get angry and feel like its "homophobia" then.

you kinda lost me at the art form part

lol, "auto" meaning "self", like you are concerned about and shy away from anything that other straight guys would consider "gay", or having any stereotypical "gay" traits, like knowing almost nothing about sports. (okay i do like x-games more than a lot of guys so that makes up for it.. )

(and there i go comparing myself like it's a "who's the least gay" contest...lol, this is exactly what i meant by auto- .)

In a wierd way I always feel like I'm being "unauthentically" trans. Like you "should" be all these "pansexual" "liberal" things and it isn't me

I feel that way sometimes too....almost like i fit in better with people who arent trans in that aspect.

idk.

wait, so...why did you read gay novels?

[Guest Valentine]

No, but then again, I couldn't date a cisgendered person, an agendered, pangendered, bigendered, or anyone.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

(I'm throwin this in just for you Liz )

Working on it!

Lizzy

[Sally]

See I been tryin to tell you I "get " you. I'm twenty some-odd years older than you lol and hadda go through a whole bunch of unnecessary (if I'da just learned at the start to frik off what other people thought .....) crap to get here but I do "get" a lot of what you say. Its' why I tell you to throw it out lol. But you wanna go try to elevate it to an art form lol.

And you're right about the "really" homophobia thing. Even though....(scratches his head....)....I don't know what autohomophobia is (stands there looking lost and perplexed) LOLO I dunno. I think I can see what two guys see in bein intimate. (I've read gay novels, didn't I tell ya'll that a loooong time ago?) And even seen at least one FTM who I thought "looked nice" (but he wasn't in transition then and really I was lookin at the female body lol somethin he undoubtedly woulda NOT felt good over)but homosexuality just isn't "me" . Doesn't "do" (arousal wise or anything) anything "for " me . In a wierd way I always feel like I'm being "unauthentically" trans. Like you "should" be all these "pansexual" "liberal" things and it isn't me Any way, it pisses me off when people (gay men and ftms but ....) "press" the &^%&* question. That's when I get angry and feel like its "homophobia" then.

Evan,

I am going to tell you how to feel better about yourself, I believe that being straight or not is sometimes a part of us, some people think that they have a choice but they are almost always bi or pan so consider that as the basis for their 'choice'.

You were born a transsexual and you had no choice in that matter, I believe that you were also born straight and you really have no choice in that matter either.

You like myself cannot change who you are, you can work on being more liberal because that so often is a product of environment but you cannot change your basic orientation.

I was a 'straight' male but that didn't really work for me so as I have begun the process of transition, so far just the mental acceptance and a good deal of soul searching I have come to the conclusion that i will be a straight woman.

You don't dislike gays or bis or pans, you just aren't one and there is nothing about being trans that says that you have to be.

You do fit in, we accept everyone - read the Transsexual Handbook, I believe it is in chapter 12.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a handbook, it would make life so much easier, have a problem just look it up in "Transgendered for Dummies".

Be who you are, you have tried being someone else and that didn't work so now accept that you are a straight male and don't appologize, you don't need to.

I never really considered the possibility of dating anyone trans but I met someone on line and we have had a wonderful time with our on line flirtting and sometimes in depth conversations and it made me realize that for me although I am driven toward remaining straight I am more interested in the heart, mind and soul than in the packaging.

Be yourself and be happy, if you cannot be happy with a Tgirl then just date cisgendered lagies - but if you fall in love and find out later that she is trans - don't dump her because you know I will come to visit you with my frying pan!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

you kinda lost me at the art form part

The art form? Cuz, Gen, we tell you "let your self criticisms/ feelings you pick up from taking on the opinons of others go and you (sometimes) hold onto em that much harder. Like you're afraid to find out what actually might happen if you took that chance.

lol, "auto" meaning "self", like you are concerned about and shy away from anything that other straight guys would consider "gay

Oooh lol yeah, that'd be me

wait, so...why did you read gay novels?

Actually ? (scratches head) I dunno. It started somewhere around the time I stopped reading lesbian ones. Ok, thats not exactly true one didn't stop and the other IMMEDIATELY begin. I stopped reading the lesbian ones (when I still was "living amongst the lesbians") cuz their novels became ..........not boring per se....but "annoying" lol in a way. Emotional and 9000 women all with each other and I was tired of all these women but did not want "het" books either cuz really they (the ones containing any relationship) were "written " for women in a sense -drama, emotion, hiiiiiigh emotion, "flowers" in the mental sense- in time I "discovered" the gay novels though the first few were "a turn off" (just gratuitous sex) but found a few that were "good" . Stories (when there were them, not the sex, and then sex, and then sex sort) were good AND there was a relationship BUT there wasn't 90000 rounds of "how I feel", "how you feel", "did you hear how he feels" like in the women books.

So from a critics standpoint it was good story, just enough relationship, and sex that was "off the hook" not a vague "flowery" thing like in womens books. Cuz if I'm gonna read a sex scene I want a sex scene not "she unfolded like a gentle petal in morning mist" lol and I don't give a flyin fleamarket WHAT sex the individuals happen to be.

[Guest Zabrak]

I found the "gay books" to not be interesting to me at all. I know it may be bad to say, but I mostly hate them because some woman go nuts over them and crazy over gay couples often because their brains truly think gay romance novels written for woman really reflect what they are like. Which is untrue because really, all of it is boring except when it comes to the...'action' parts. I have tried to read them and ended up just skipping through everything till I found a good part.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

While I have never dated a trans... I would be willing to date FtM however not a MtF.

[Guest Evan_J]

I found the "gay books" to not be interesting to me at all. I know it may be bad to say, but I mostly hate them because some woman go nuts over them and crazy over gay couples often because their brains truly think gay romance novels written for woman really reflect what they are like. Which is untrue because really, all of it is boring except when it comes to the...'action' parts. I have tried to read them and ended up just skipping through everything till I found a good part.

I can dig that. See, I have no idea who the heck someone like Josh Aterovis writes for (though he actually is gay, maybe he plays to a woman audience? Dunno but he's an author I like) But what it is I like is there's more (for example) detective than there is "romance". The focus is not "all about the relationship". In other genre's you see that. The detective thing is "backdrop" or at least secondary. Doesn't get NEARBOUT equal time and certainly is not ever in the forefront. Sometimes you can get more "story" in the forefront. And still get a non "unfolding misted" sex moment. PLUS in lesbian books EEEEVERYbody is an activist, conscientious, and volunteering at a food bank or something lol. After the 9milllionth raised consciousness, politically aware, chick who is NEVER just lookin at the immaculate gazonga's cuz she respects women too much it ain't entertainment LOL