Misuse of pronouns

[LittleSam]

Hi,

 

Thought I'd have a  rant because I'm feeling a bit down today. I came out as non binary about a month ago. I changed my name to a more male/gender neutral name. My work colleagues and family have been very supportive calling me by my new name and occasionally forgetting, but that's fine, because soon my old name will be forgotten. What everyone is struggling with though is my they/them pronouns. I get it's hard for people to get their heads around, and at first I could see people trying and I would correct in a nice way when mistakes were made. However a month down the line, and my work colleagues who I consider myself close to seemed to have given up and refer to me as she/her all the time. I've tried having gentle conversations about how being called she is hurtful to me, and if they do struggle, I'd rather be called he, even though they/them is what I want to be called. What upsets me is I feel that we are a close team who has each others back, but am I not worthy of that respect of learning a simple pronoun? Some days I feel happy and secure, but other days I feel like crap when I'm constantly misgendered! I dress in all male clothing and have a very short shaved haircut. What does it take for people to stop calling me she! I get so bothered by it, I consider myself on the trans spectrum, but am too scared to put myself on the NHS waiting list because at the mo I would be looking at five years for a first app with a gender specialist, as I can't afford private care. I don't want to transition to a full male and be called he, I'm comfortable in a non binary identity, and in reality I wouldn't go for testosterone. I've already socially transitioned in that I am male presenting and changed my pronouns, but I feel that it isn't real if I'm always being called she. Sorry for long rant, is anyone else going through this, or does it get easier in time to accept that most people just won't get they/them pronouns?

[Ivy]

I'm afraid non-binary is probably harder for cis people to understand.  Our society is so male/female oriented.  And then, people just tend to default to what they've gendered you as in the past - kinda out of laziness.  Changing takes work.

Maybe they'll improve over time.  One can hope so.

Getting misgendered stings, but if it's not done maliciously I ignore it.