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Where Do You Turn When Hope Runs Out?


Sally

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Where Do You Turn When Hope Runs Out?

By Sally Michelle Jackson

I have lived my whole life in the shadows

With curtains drawn tight over windows

I can’t see out and no one sees in

Keeping secret this prison I’m in

This prison is not made up of concrete and steel

Yet even without being there the bars are so real

Trapped in a body that belies my true self

Leaving my true life put away on a shelf

I spent so much time dreaming and living on hope

That my daily life is in shambles and do I care, nope

I will keep on living for I am doomed to survive

But the way things are going is it good to be alive

I have always had a strong faith or so I believe

But faith seems to be fading and starting to leave

I have no one to turn to and no one to care

It seems I am alone even with others there

So now each day and each night I just sit in my room

Surrounded by bills and reminders to add to the gloom

Unpaid bills as certificates of life’s failures

Looking at cut offs and property seizures

Life is worth living that’s what they say

So I hang on and struggle for another day

I hope and I pray

For just one good day

It seems to be just too much to ask

Would it be such a monumental task

To allow me one day to live as I choose

Just one day to win and not always lose

After a lifetime of helping and speaking of hope

Why do I just sit in this room in the dark and mope

Because I have given so much hope to others that when I needed some

I looked here and I looked there but everywhere I looked there was none

No more and hope no more dreams

Just loneliness and poverty it seems

At the end of one’s rope with thoughts of the ending

What message of my life will my eulogy be sending

And when the light of my life has faded and gone

For those who may notice, I never hurt anyone

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I think that I have waited way too long for anyone to help now.

Things just keep piling on and the weight is about to crush me.

It already has crushed my spirit and all hopes of transitioning all that is left is to crush the body as well.

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Guest Elizabeth K

Sally

You are in a dark place. We are here to love you and listen - and sometimes even tell you that you are wrong. Your faith is stronger than this poem, you know that. You will be strong, you know that. And you must transition - we know that - you know that. Sometimes we get caught up in our own problems and perhaps because you are always so strong in your posts we don't catch your misery. You can undertand how that happens, I hope and forgive us. You are just too valuable a person and we cannot have you this way.

So we are here. We want to help. Just keep the faith.

Lizzy

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Guest Sarah-hime

I counteract your Poem of Darkness with +1 hug of Light :D *hug*

Also, I quote the great lady herself:

"There will always be better times ahead and each new day is an opportunity to get things right, the past is gone fading into memories, now is becoming the past as we speak only the future is there for us to improve upon - so let's do just that." - Sally Michelle Jackson, May17, 2009

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  • Root Admin

Sally. Whatever happens, we are here for you. We are your family. We love you and accept you just as you are. Don't ever forget that. You're not alone.

{{{HUGS}}}

MaryEllen :)

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I want to thank you all for your support, I just got off the phone and have saved my car for a week, of course it is in the shop right now.

I needed to see that smiley witch - thanks ME!

But quoting my own signature was sort of cruel!

I will try to do better, but now its time to drive Miss Daisey, AGAIN!

I do love all of you,

Sally

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Apologies - please edit my post.

There is no need to apologize or edit your post, I just used the wrong word, it is more ironic that you point out to me that I am not listening to my own advice.

Your post actually was very helpful in getting me up and started on my day, well that and the smiley witch. :)

Never apologize for caring - it is a wondeful thing and I do appreciate your love and concern.

Love ya,

Sally

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