I have finally come out to my wife.. Now Everyone else?

[Emily77]

Hello I am Emily. After hiding my true identity for all of my life so far, I finally let it all out to my wife. It wasn't easy for her to fully process at first, but she said she always questioned certain things over the years. She has accepted me, though I did think she would leave. I am a professional musician and my career has been pretty successful. I am not one to include my private life with the public, but I am pretty sure once major changes start to take place, I may have some questions asked. I am not trying to gain popularity through my transition, and if this hurts my career well I am prepared for it. However, I do hope that I can possibly inspire others to be themselves at no matter what cost. I am not sure how to come out to the public. Maybe I will just live everyday life without making a public speech. I am not sure what to do on this matter. As for my family, They will know before the public and though I am not sure when will be the right time to come out to my mother. I am adopted but this is my mom. Pretty much the only person besides my wife that I care about when it comes to acceptance. It took her several years to accept music as my career so I am not sure how to tell her this news. I know all of this sounds like rambling but If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. I am new here and I am glad this forum is available. Thank you for your time. 

 

Emily

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Emily.  Welcome!

 

Congratulations on coming out to your wife!  That is a huge step, and often the most difficult one.

 

My thinking, at the time I was in this position, was that it would be disrespectful not to tell people who knew me what was going on.  So I made a point to tell them, without making a big deal about it.  Some groups, I told in person, some I told by email.  There is no one right way to do it, so feel free to ask here for feedback on your plans.

 

If you are not already talking to a gender therapist, it might be helpful to find one, to help plan how you want to go about coming out.

[Emily77]

Kathy,

Thank you! Yes it was a major step, but this is only the beginning. . Yes I am currently looking for a gender therapist. 

[Heather Shay]

I'm so happy you are being brave and BEING YOU. Having your wife's acceptance is huge. I can't overstate that.

I am a musician as well, sadly couldn't make career of it, but one of my songs got picked up by AppleTV+ mini-series "The Crowded Room." There are many musicians here so you have another avenue to discussion. Would love to hear what instruments, genre(s) you play and do you write? I've been a singer/songwriter for over 40 years and it's a love.

I'm so glad you are here and want you to know you have truly found an oasis here with wonderful people.

[Emily77]

Heather, Thank you! I have fought with this for so long. It feels relieving to be free to be me around my wife. She is a very strong woman. I love her dearly. As for music, that is fantastic that you are a musician as well.