What does the term Transgender mean to you?

[AllieJ]

We all use the term Transgender, it is even in the name of this Forum, but what does it mean to you? Is it people who experience dysphoria, people who have incongruent Gender Identity, or those who express themselves differently to their sex assigned at birth? Does it include those with ambiguous or mixed body parts? Is it all of these? I'd like to hear what you think! (and why!)

 

Please, nobody is right or wrong here, and we may have differing views, but all are valid! Different organisations around the world have different views on this, so there isn't yet a global consensus. Hopefully, we can all learn from this discussion! The images below are just for interest!

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

[Betty K]

I use the definition I see most often among trans advocacy groups and encounter most often in the trans community: “transgender” describes someone whose gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth.
 

W/r/t the images you have posted, many drag queens do not identify as trans, just as many intersex people don’t. That said, some drag queens identify as trans, just as some intersex people do too.

 

Since “transgender” is unnecessary as a medical diagnosis (as far as I’m aware, the only diagnosis required to access gender-affirming care is “gender dysphoria”) I think it is far more useful as a descriptor of an identity group than as a so-called medical condition. I see nothing to be gained by telling folks they are trans when they themselves do not believe they are.

[Sally Stone]

It is funny, thinking about your question Allie, I realize I use different terms depending on who I am conversing with.  On this forum, I generally use the term trans because most of the audience here understands that it is an umbrella term that encompasses lots of other descriptors.

 

If I am conversing with someone who I think might not have an innate understanding of our community and is actually interested or curious, I try to use terms that are more descriptive, like bi-gender or part-time woman.  If I just said I was trans, someone could make numerous assumptions about what it really means, and in the end, not be correct.  So, I like to be more descriptive in many cases, the person I am chatting with understands that while I may be trans, I'm also unique. 

[Mirrabooka]

Here's my completely amateurish take on it. Trans = moving something or someone from one place to another or crossing from one side to the other, with a decision being made to enable that to happen. Examples using that prefix are transport (where you decide to buy a bus ticket), transfer (where you decide to move goods or money to another person), transact (where you decide to buy or trade something), translate (where you decide to understand things in a different language) etc. A nuanced term such as Transatlantic is clear enough - flying from NY to London for example, but it only describes a binary situation. Transgender also describes a binary situation, i.e. crossing from male to female or vice versa. 

 

Because I haven't made a decision to cross from one gender to the other, but I am just going with the flow and presenting myself in a way that feels natural that doesn't always conform with gender stereotypes, am I transgender?  

[Betty K]

14 hours ago, Mirrabooka said:

Because I haven't made a decision to cross from one gender to the other, but I am just going with the flow and presenting myself in a way that feels natural that doesn't always conform with gender stereotypes, am I transgender?  

Hi Mirrabooka. Does your gender identity match your sex assigned at birth? If not, then you may legitimately refer to yourself as transgender. But what does that tell you? Possibly not very much. 
 

Btw “trans” is a Latin prefix meaning “across”, “beyond”, or “on the other side of”. It does not necessarily describe a crossing from one place to another.

[LittleSam]

22 hours ago, Mirrabooka said:

Here's my completely amateurish take on it. Trans = moving something or someone from one place to another or crossing from one side to the other, with a decision being made to enable that to happen. Examples using that prefix are transport (where you decide to buy a bus ticket), transfer (where you decide to move goods or money to another person), transact (where you decide to buy or trade something), translate (where you decide to understand things in a different language) etc. A nuanced term such as Transatlantic is clear enough - flying from NY to London for example, but it only describes a binary situation. Transgender also describes a binary situation, i.e. crossing from male to female or vice versa. 

 

Because I haven't made a decision to cross from one gender to the other, but I am just going with the flow and presenting myself in a way that feels natural that doesn't always conform with gender stereotypes, am I transgender?  

For me, I wouldn't say that transgender only applies to a binary situation. For example, I don't identify as female anymore, but not male either, I see myself as having transitioned to another gender identity. FTX, rather than FTM. I'm non binary. Third gender isn't legally recognised in the UK, for example I can't have an X marker on my passport, but we are recognised in that no one os allowed to discriminate against enby people and people recognise our pronouns.

[Mirrabooka]

9 hours ago, Betty K said:

Hi Mirrabooka. Does your gender identity match your sex assigned at birth? 

Short answer is, I don't know!

 

Long answer: One of my previous hang-ups was to come up with a definition; a label. TBH the simultaneous type of bigender is probably the most accurate label I can imagine. My inner woman is always present. Although I do feel a bit more euphoric when she is running strong, I am not dysphoric when she's firmly in the background. I am me, regardless of what is between my legs. I've always felt that way, so just because I have only truly accepted my feminine side or my inner woman in the past couple of years and only since then I'm allowing myself to reflect that with how I look, doesn't mean that I've changed at all. But to others who have stood still within their expected binary gender stereotype, perhaps in their eyes I have changed, or transitioned a bit.

 

I know that there's been plenty of robust discussion in the past regarding the definition of transgender etc., and the Latin meaning of the prefix has probably stood the test of time, but really, we need to define a reference point first. My heart, soul and mind hasn't changed one little bit. My physical appearance and mannerisms have. So, have I changed or not?

[Mirrabooka]

58 minutes ago, LittleSam said:

For me, I wouldn't say that transgender only applies to a binary situation. For example, I don't identify as female anymore, but not male either, I see myself as having transitioned to another gender identity. FTX, rather than FTM. I'm non binary. Third gender isn't legally recognised in the UK, for example I can't have an X marker on my passport, but we are recognised in that no one os allowed to discriminate against enby people and people recognise our pronouns.

Good point well made. I could argue that transitioning from F to X is binary in itself, in that it is a discrete step, even if X isn't a recognized endpoint to most people. But I accept that any change is the very essence of transition. Just goes to show how messy the gender continuum is made by those who insist that it has either/or states!

[Betty K]

@Mirrabooka, it sounds as if you are looking for a more granular label than transgender. It also sounds as if no, your gender identity does not match your sex assigned at birth and so yes, you can legitimately claim to be transgender. And it sounds as if yes, you have changed, if superficially. But just to be clear, no-one except people who have nothing to do with trans people would require that you change in order to be transgender. Nor must you transition to be transgender. You can simply be transgender, and have always been transgender, by virtue of a mismatch between your gender identity and your sex assigned at birth. That’s the easy bit. What you do with that knowledge is the real question.

[Betty K]

@Mirrabooka, also: it’s up to you to claim or not claim the term transgender, and to decide whether or not there really is a mismatch. A good therapist can help you in this, but they can’t decide your identity, just as I can’t either. Only you can do that.

[Betty K]

1 hour ago, LittleSam said:

For me, I wouldn't say that transgender only applies to a binary situation.

Agreed! 

[Mirrabooka]

Thank you for your thoughts, @Betty K.  I yam wot I yam, and as time goes on and my comfort level increases with myself, I am caring less about labels and how *other* people see me superficially. The way I think about it, if I said that I have transitioned (even a little bit), it would only be for the purpose of appeasing those who use their own binary gender roles as a reference point. I have definitely transitioned a little bit COMPARED TO THEM, but my mind, heart and soul have not transitioned at all. 

[Betty K]

You’re welcome @Mirrabooka. You know, some trans folk find the word “transition” problematic in itself, because it does imply a binary journey. A better term (though not so catchy) might be “gender affirmation”. It’s also unfortunate that “transition” uses the prefix “trans”, because it has led some people (mostly ignorant cis folk) to presume that being trans inevitably involves transition. 

[Marieh]

It's easy to get hung up on labels. That because not everyone falls into a neat category. I'm fairly binary, born male physically but now accept and enjoy the fact that I'm a woman in every other way. I wish to transition and leave behind any male aspect of me. 

 

I will be a woman. I spoke to woman some time ago who  transitioned. She keeps a single photo of the man she never was and feels sorry for him because in her mind he never really existed. In my mind I was never a man despite my body.

 

Others view and feel differently about themselves. 

 

So trans is an umbrella term now.

 

One of the problems is that society as a whole still clings to a binary view of men and women's roles. Men behave a certain way and like  certain things and vice versa. It suits most people even if they themselves don't always fall neatly into a binary world. 

 

One of the things that held me back was the fact that I had interests that were typically male particularly when I was young in the eighties when everything was more binary. I ignored the fact that I had typically female interests to, not least pretty  clothes, make up and my relationship with women around me. 

 

Essentially I and most of us were stereotyped by society. We stereotyped ourselves in fact. Perhaps if you spoke to me at the time I believed I was a crossdresser. That was my label at the time. But looking back I was ignoring the pink elephant in the room wearing lipstick because I didn't fit into the then stereotype of the 'transsexual' as the popular press of the time labelled us. 

 

So I'm transgender for now, until someone comes up with a better term. But within that umbrella I'm a woman. 

 

 

 

[Ashley0616]

To me it is becoming who I truly am. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for the world unless I could be a cis woman. I'm looking forward to the surgeries that I hope to get to appear and function more like a woman. 

[KathyLauren]

To me, the "trans" prefix in transgender does not imply movement.  Trans just means "the other side".  As in Transylvania: it means the other side of the forest; it doesn't mean you have to travel there. 

 

The trans prefix does often suggest two sides, but I take it to mean "an other side" rather than "the other side", so it doesn't have to be binary.

 

So I go with the meaning that says that a person is transgender if their gender identity is not the same as the sex they were assigned at birth.  To me, it implies nothing at all about transition.  I was transgender before I was born, I have been transgender all my life, and I will be transgender until the day I die.  During that time, I transitioned (which does imply movement), but I can't ever stop being transgender.

[LittleSam]

I think everyone has made excellent points here. It seems there's no wrong answer because we are so diverse. I think we as a community get to decide what transgender means. Sometimes in the medical community, some mean well but there are practises that are harmful or outdated and some just don't get it. I've got an appointment coming up in a few days with a psychiatrist, so I can hopefully get a diagnosis and a referral for hormones. However the pre questionnaire has me feeling nervous and a bit alarmed. I had to answer questions about what toys I played with as a child, if I secretly dressed as the opposite gender by trying on my parents clothing . I would rather they focused on me as an adult now. I loved lots of toys, I was hugely into dolls and football also. Does playing with dolls make me any less transmasc? I never did dress in secret, I just loved to wear my football kit alot and go around topless in hot weather. Maybe I'm just rejecting what is expected of a binary female, but I do want more masc characteristics that T can give me. I call myself trans because I don't conform to how society views what a female should be, therefore I'm rejecting the female label. Plus I wish for a more masc appearance. No medical professional can judge anyone elses experience and say it isn't valid. Yes there's the occasional person that wishes to detransition, therefore it can be important to get psychological support. I just think that if you feel the label fits, you don't need to even medically or socially transition if you don't wish to, just be yourself and you will know what you are and everyone is valid.

[Marieh]

I agree with you Sam, the questions are absurd. They  expect you to have  been a tomboy, that rather  archaic view. Which is utterly irrelevant these days. Passing the  football pitches today it was full of girls, many had just finished their match heading back to the  clubhouse covered in mud but elated. Are they trans? I doubt any of  them wear their Father's  clothes although of course women have greater freedom to dress as they please.

 

I played with toy guns and dolls. These days that's ok for girls  but not  boys.

 

I don't need to tell you that you know you're a man. Wearing sports gear and going topless doesn't make you a  man but your view of yourself is what is real. 

 

Btw I hate being topless but so do my sons who are definitely male. Liking  been topless is a male thing. Men love being naked, ok not always but having been 'exposed' to men over the years. It's an opinion based on experience. 🤣

 

But  Sam, play the game even if you have to pander to stereotypes. 

 

 

 

 

 

[LittleSam]

Thanks for the response Marieh. Yes it is sad that I have to play the game, I will end up honing heavily into the fact i played football, which is true, but like you said, this is absurd really, when female football is on the rise. I just have to sound sure and not leave room for doubt because they might use this to challenge me. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I don't exactly identify with the term.  To me, it kind of means clearly starting in one gender (on the outside) and ending up in another.  Like my two trans friends who transitioned from male to female.  I'm different.  I'm AFAB, but intersex.  So was I ever physically female?  And while I mostly live in my boy form now, my girl form was never particularly feminine.  And in my boy form, I'm not fitting the masculine stereotype. 

 

And what is transition?  I'm not doing HRT, nor am I getting surgeries....my body is unique enough that doctors wouldn't be comfortable doing it even if that's what I wanted.  So, have I really transitioned at all?  Does a mild localized anatomical effect with testosterone cream count?  Does changing clothing?  Or in my case, just not wearing much clothing?  I don't think I can really claim the term "transgender" and certainly not qualified to define it.

[Marieh]

But you're intersex A-Y-S. Different to most of us, quite literally. As ever only you  can decide who you feel you are and you don't have to conform to other people's stereotypes. 

 

None of us are qualified to define who you  are. Only you can do that. Even the  Doctors, as you say 'aren't  comfortable'. 

 

Everyone understands it in their own  way.