The Turtle And The Snail

[Guest ~Nikki~]

What did the snail say as she rode the turtles back?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee this is fast....................................

[Guest Donna Jean]

LOL!!!!

"Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."

LOVE!

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Glad to see you are both coming out of your shell.

What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?

A slow-poke

Grin

Lizzy

[Sally]

"Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."

I had a little sister in the band sorority - no I was in the fraternity - who gave me a small terra cota turtle wearing a hat with little dried flowers in it and it had that slogan on the base.

I hadn't thought about that in almost thirty years, I wonder where it is now?

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

I don't know, but when it talks you'd better listen!

Love ya,

Sally

PS If it asks for a banana or a cracker just give it to him!

[Guest Joe Cool]

LOL!!

If a turtle loses it's shell, is it homeless or just naked?

Joe

[Guest Zabrak]

LOL!!

If a turtle loses it's shell, is it homeless or just naked?

Joe

When a turtle looses its shell it dies. Its inners are connected to it....

...

[Guest Joe Cool]

When a turtle looses its shell it dies. Its inners are connected to it....

...

That makes it very not funny. My bad...

Joe

[Guest Zabrak]

That makes it very not funny. My bad...

Joe

Lol sorry, dry humor.

Ever try turtle soup? Yum!

[Guest Joe Cool]

If at first you don't succeed....

Why did the turtle cross the road?

-To get to the shell station

Joe

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

a turtle a snail and a sloth walked into a bar

the bartender looked up and said

"oh great! looks like its going to be another slow day!"

[Sally]

a turtle a snail and a sloth walked into a bar

I bet they ordered Sloe Gin!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Joe Cool]

I bet they didn't order escargot!

Joe

[Sally]

Does that go with the turtle soup that Zabrak was making?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

A snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.

"It was these two turtles!", the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!

"The officer asks, "Did you get a good look at them?"

The snail says, "No! It all happened so fast!"

:lol:

Donna Jean

[Guest Joe Cool]

I would think business would be slow if the bartender keeps turning the customers into appetizers

Joe

[Sally]

Any time you give a sweater to a turtle, be sure it is a mock turtle neck!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ya'll tortoise some new jokes - great!

There was a terrible road accident today between a van full of tortoises and a van full of terrapins.

It was a turtle disaster.

Lizzy

[Guest Joe Cool]

A little boy came home from Sunday School and told his mother he had learned The Praire Tortoise Prayer.

She didn't want to admit that she didn't have any idea what he was talking about, so she spent a week reading her Bible and asking her friends about it. No one could help her.

She decided to go to church and ask her pastor about it. During the service she got her answer when he said, "Let us pray the prayer he taught us. Our father..."

Joe

[Guest Valentine]

Why do snails look down on slugs?

Because the slugs are homeless.

[Guest Joe Cool]

What was the snail doing on the highway?

about one mile a day!

Joe

[Guest Valentine]

More turtle humor

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/speedbump;_yl...OK4WbqyPjrmM7B_