Being LGBTQ+ - blessing or curse?

[Heather Shay]

Being LGBTQ+ - blessing or curse?

[Mirrabooka]

Blessing. With the rider that self-acceptance is the key.

[KatieSC]

Wow, tough question seeing as how we get no choice in the matter.

 

I think of all of the time being uncomfortable in my own skin since I was 5 years old. I felt as though I had a female soul put in the wrong body way back then. Always feeling inferior, confused, hurt, crazy, then just sullen, withdrawn, and finally anger. 

 

Imagine waking up and just knowing you are comfortable in your own skin. You have no doubt about who you are ro what you want in life. Imagine how much different you life could be if instead of the time you spent thinking about all of this, went into other things that were more productive. Imagine never having to be worried about acceptance for who and what you are. Imagine playing with others as a child and not being ostracized. Imagine all of the things you missed out on growing up because of being transgender, or LGBTQ.

 

While acceptance in this world would be a wonderful thing, we are not anywhere near that. I see the current anti-trans legislation as a huge threat to marginalize us to the maximum. Nobody listens to the medical experts. When all that is tuned out, we are in big trouble. 

 

This question about being a blessing or a curse, well, it depends on that support you have moving forward. There are some folks born into situations with loving parents who support their children, and sadly, there are children born into situations where the parents may abuse or kill their kids for being different. Then there is the dimension as to what the world and environment the kid is in. We all have different life circumstances. Some of us have had advantages, and some of us do not. Life can be unkind to those who lack resources. 

 

I have witnessed first hand, someone who was transgender that had been hit in the head multiple times with a brick, until they were brain dead. It was one of the saddest, most awful things I have ever seen. I am thankful I was able to transition as I have without the same thing happening to me. I am also aware that at any point when I was younger, I too, could have been killed if I had come out when I was younger.

 

My take home message is that it probably does not make any difference if it is a blessing or a curse. One's fortunes could change at any time in life. What is important is to embrace life, practice acceptance, and just be the best you can be in terms of being a human being.

[KathyLauren]

No, it isn't either.  It is just who we are.

 

Blessings or curses are add-ons, things that are applied to an existing situation.  Being LGBTQ+ is not an add-on; it is the existing situation.  The add-ons are mostly how other people react to us, which can be either blessings or curses.

 

I am blessed to be surrounded by people that are accepting or even supportive.  I know that the people surrounding others are not nice: those people are curses.

[Vidanjali]

Blessing or curse? Yes. Everything in life can be perceived as either, depending on one's attitude. It takes a lot of strength, faith, patience, and skill, but even adversity can be viewed as a blessing that provides you the opportunity to grow and evolve.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Not a curse in itself, but part of THE Curse.  As in, the one from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 3. 

 

The world is a tough place, and lots of things happen to us that we don't get to choose.  I definitely would have preferred to be a straight/cis boy or girl... but I got the messed up body and hormones that I got.  It definitely isn't a blessing.  But to compensate, we often receive grace and blessings that we didn't ask for or deserve.  I certainly have, in the form of my forever family.  We focus on the good rather than the tough parts. 

[VickySGV]

I just got done reading an article by one of my Science type friends who actually has publications in respected scientific journals and LGBT et al. variations are just that, variations of perfectly normal,  socially valuable and potentially perfectly healthy human life.  It is not any type of curse really, just a difference in how we feel, act, and behave.  The misconception that a human being who does not have children via a Male and Female sexual experience is not a proper human is also just that, a misconception of how life really comes about and what is possible in a life. 

 

I was talking to some friends who are same sex parents recently, (A female couple and a male couple) and we are dealing with some of the sweetest and BRIGHTEST young kids (brighter than my grand-kids I have to admit) you can think of.  Several other friends are health care professionals, others are teachers of some darn fun stuff, and yes a few are some of our upcoming batch of political leaders.  All of these people are making it easier and better for children even if they are not parents. 

 

I personally think we have gotten the story in Genesis wrong in many ways.  The so called curse there was not a burden for all time but rather a challenge to use the "knowledge" that had been gained to make lives better using what we had learned and no longer had automatically done for us.  The things mentioned there are being worked on and solutions being found.  Now to get some folks educated and realize we are ALL humans who can be good neighbors and who can live in dignity with one another, we just have some work to do in that area.

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

I personally think we have gotten the story in Genesis wrong in many ways.  

 

That's an understatement, imo. But as this thread is not located under religion or philosophy, I'll just leave it at that. 

[Charleigh Dakota]

On 1/21/2024 at 10:26 PM, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I definitely would have preferred to be a straight/cis boy or girl

Yes...OMG Yes, how I would have LOVED to have been born a cis girl!! Still would probably prefer girls over boys though...JS...But thats okay....I am who I am and I am beautiful...inside and out...just like everyone of us on here!! ❤️ 

[Ashley0616]

I would say curse. I would've loved to have been born female then I wouldn't have to figure out how to work out the surgeries such as SRS, removal of Adam's apple, facial surgery, breast augmentation, BBL, Liposuction, tummy tuck and even then still have body dysmorphia. I would've been happy and not as depressed. 

[Charleigh Dakota]

1 hour ago, Ashley0616 said:

I would say curse. I would've loved to have been born female then I wouldn't have to figure out how to work out the surgeries such as SRS, removal of Adam's apple, facial surgery, breast augmentation, BBL, Liposuction, tummy tuck and even then still have body dysmorphia. I would've been happy and not as depressed. 

100% AGREE

[Charleigh Dakota]

On 1/20/2024 at 9:48 AM, KathyLauren said:

I am blessed to be surrounded by people that are accepting or even supportive.  I know that the people surrounding others are not nice: those people are curses.

Amen Sister!! Point On! ❤️ 

[Guest]

On 1/20/2024 at 6:48 AM, KathyLauren said:

No, it isn't either.  It is just who we are.

 

Blessings or curses are add-ons, things that are applied to an existing situation.  Being LGBTQ+ is not an add-on; it is the existing situation.  The add-ons are mostly how other people react to us, which can be either blessings or curses.

 

I am blessed to be surrounded by people that are accepting or even supportive.  I know that the people surrounding others are not nice: those people are curses.

Well writ!

 

I wanted to convey a similar thought when I saw the title, but you've succinctly nailed it.

 

So: "ditto what Kathy said!"

 

...

Others have noted they'd rather the cis alternative. 

 

With the caveat I'd rather have pulled the transfemme straw than the cis guy straw. But I suppose that's predictable. I'd rather wait for the wheel to come 'round again than settle for cis male. No slight on guys, just doesn't fit for me. 

[Guest]

On 1/23/2024 at 3:45 PM, Ashley0616 said:

I would say curse. I would've loved to have been born female then I wouldn't have to figure out how to work out the surgeries such as SRS, removal of Adam's apple, facial surgery, breast augmentation, BBL, Liposuction, tummy tuck and even then still have body dysmorphia. I would've been happy and not as depressed. 

I'm not sure that's a foregone conclusion.  I've known an awful lot of unhappy cis women.

 

I think our burden is just a different burden.

[Ashley0616]

1 hour ago, umbrielle said:

I'm not sure that's a foregone conclusion.  I've known an awful lot of unhappy cis women.

 

I think our burden is just a different burden.

Most people in general are going to not be happy with themselves. It's just a matter of what they can handle. For me I waited because I knew I wouldn't pass as a woman unless I wear A LOT of makeup. Even then confidence can easily be destroyed when I get clocked, but I do appreciate when they don't make a big scene out of it. 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Most people in general are going to not be happy with themselves. It's just a matter of what they can handle. For me I waited because I knew I wouldn't pass as a woman unless I wear A LOT of makeup. Even then confidence can easily be destroyed when I get clocked, but I do appreciate when they don't make a big scene out of it. 

I pass pretty well, my doctor of five years was shocked. My best friend of almost 20 years was surprised (although knowing now she says it explains some things). That said: I never passed until I stopped caring. I just didn't have room for it anymore, and that tipped the scales.

 

Honestly:  I suspect that's how many cis women "pass" too!

 

That said, I'm still dysphoric enough that I'm getting The  Works done!

 

(I wear primer, foundation, a little color correction with age, mascara, lipstick, and usually a little bronzer in place of blush. I feel that's "50yr old executive appropriate " amounts. Although I really need to start taking care of my nails again. A lifetime of acrylics destroyed them. I spend about 20mins typically doing my makeup in the morning.  If I'm going out, double or triple that. )

[ClaireBloom]

I'm still seeing it as a curse.  I'm hoping with the help of my therapist that I can start to see it as a blessing.