How have you dealt with your partner's (seemingly) lack of interest in intimacy since starting HRT?

[Owly]

I hope I'm not being paranoid but my gut tells me that my partner's attraction for me has changed. The last time we made love he avoided my chest (except to caress the hair in the middle of it). His energy felt different like he didn't know what to do anymore.  I wanted to ask what was going on but we kinda ended up working through the awkwardness of the moment. Love was decent/good but i have this gut feeling that things have changed (for both of us) and I'm worried this is the beginning of the end. I was hoping to keep things pretty much the same. I'm bummed out but not devastated by this. I also did think about who would find me attractive as a mostly masculine presenting person with little breasts and a mildly hairy chest and face. I don't want my fear of not being "accepted" by those who i engage in intimacy with to sway my decision to consider surgery. If that decision ever comes, I want it to be out of what i really want for me, and not out of what I think will make me more attractive for others. Does this make any sense? We have an open relationship but I honestly haven't had the drive to even think about being with other people.

[Mirrabooka]

I can't put myself in your situation of course, but maybe something else was going on not related to what you're going through? Did your partner have a bad day or week at work? Is he under some other sort of stress that he hasn't told you about yet?

 

Communication is key. Good luck.

[Ashley0616]

1 hour ago, Mirrabooka said:

I can't put myself in your situation of course, but maybe something else was going on not related to what you're going through? Did your partner have a bad day or week at work? Is he under some other sort of stress that he hasn't told you about yet?

 

Communication is key. Good luck.

+1

[Mmindy]

I agree with @Mirrabooka check on your partner’s situation and mindset. 
 

That being said the two of you can work together the changes in your relationship and intimacy. Communication and gentle guidance can help each of you adjust to the situation in the moment. My wife has trouble thinking of me in the more androgynous manner and doesn’t like being seen as potentially lesbian when we’re out and about, but she has adjusted to our private times and intimacy. We’ve been married 47 years and I came out to her 3 years ago and she still says she needs more time to adjust. 
 

Reinforce your love for your partner.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Owly]

Thank you all for the advise. I think we definitely need to have many more chats about this. I don't want to push him to adjust.i gotta remind myself to be patient _