Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Androgyny VS Boobs

Recommended Posts

In the last couple of months I've realized I'm non-binary and I think genderfluid. Since I started questioning, a lot of things have started making sense and as I've started learning more I've gained terms for things always experienced but couldn't name. Bit of backstory, I'm AFAB with large boobs and I've always hated them. They've always caused back pain, boob sweat and made clothing hard to size but it was more than that. I had a friend joke about being able to take her boobs off at the end of the day and i would 'joke' and say I'd never put them on again. I'd also almost wished I had breast cancer so that I would have a 'good reason' to lose them completely. I always told myself this, among other things, was just part of the normal/typical 'woman' experience, that hating your breasts was on the same vein as having a period; just an annoying aspect of womanhood everyone had to put up with.

So, since realizing that is not the case I've been really struggling with dysphoria regarding by breast. They're just literally always there in my face and it's like my tolerance for them has gone out the window since identifying as non-binary. And I know non binary people don't owe you androgyny, but I'd really love to have a more androgynous appearance and even with double sports bras they're still super noticeable. I've bought a binder online, but I don't have high hopes.


Anyway, I'm not really sure what to do at this point. There are some days were I like being more feminine and I'm not sure if I'd want to lose the boobs completely, but I wish they were small enough so that I could effectively bind them at least. I want to look at surgery, but it's not something I could afford anytime soon and I feel like I'd be rushing it since my gender revelation is still relatively new but I'm not sure what the acceptable waiting period is. I just feel like I have to do something because even though I always hated having big boobs, it's like a bubble has popped and I can't stand them anymore and can feel both an oncoming crisis and myself slipping into a depression which is something i obviously want to avoid.

(I have a counselor for other mental health reasons who I've come out as NB to, but I only see them once a month)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

G'day Bugg,


My cousin who identified as lesbian, when we were teenagers way back in the 1970s. Unfortunately like most of the women in our family she was, in her opinion cursed with large breast. After turning 21 she had a breast reduction to a very modest B cup. She always identified masculine and in the early days our family just seen her as a tomboy. However those of us in her age group knew she was lesbian. She raised the LGBTQIA blinds on our family window when she came out to everyone else in 1980 introducing us to her love. Their long term relationship continued and eventually they had a destination wedding in 2010. She and her wife, have been together for 45 years this June. The reason I'm sharing this is that she was the first person I voluntarily came out to, and in conversation she says she never regretted her breast reduction and loves the options she has dressing however she wants. I hope others chime in here and offer more personal experiences.


Best wishes,



Link to comment

It would be nice to be able to swap body parts. Then the FTM's and MTF's  and NB's would be able to get what they wanted and wouldn't have to pay for surgery. I would be able to experience being able to birth a child and I wouldn't mind the periods. I wouldn't have to shave my face. Which has been a royal pain in the butt. It was cool at first but not something I want to do every day.  I'm a few tenths of an inch away from a DD but I want EE. I wear breast forms that would put me where I would like to be, so I'm used to the weight. My only fear would be once I lose weight I lose my breasts. It is great that you are going to a counselor. That's not good only once a month? I see mine every week but if you can handle it then more power to you!

Link to comment

Hi Bugg,

It wouldn't be rushing things, you do sound like you are pretty certain that you want at the least, a big reduction. However I know that the expense for you would be an issue which you mentioned. I'm very fortunate that I'm only a B-C cup and binding for me makes me look flat which I love. I would still want them gone one day, especially since I plan to go on T. For me, my dysphoria started with my breasts, which I now call my moobs lol. At first though when I was questioning, there were days when I thought I didn't mind them. I mean they don't look horrible, but they just aren't me. I thought I was being rash, because I do have quite a nice slimmish body, but having a nice body, isn't reason enough to keep it when being perceived as female is very dysphoric to me. I can imagine that having large boobs would really trigger dysphoria.  Are you based in the UK, where the NHS can give you a reduction because they caused you back pain? I don't know about other countries health insurance and costs.

Link to comment

I assume the binder you bought online hasn't yet arrived? If you never tried a binder before, note it's much more effective than double sports bra which you mentioned as long as you find a good fitting one. Just wanted to say if the binder you got doesn't work for you, don't give up because there are many brands of binder and they're not all the same. It is hard, though, to find a good one for a large chest. Here's a link to a thread where I reviewed a couple binders & I have a relatively large chest. I just updated it with a new comment. Hope it helps. 


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 142 Guests (See full list)

    • Jet McCartney
    • Timi
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Susie
    • Wicked juggalo
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
    • VickySGV
      This was an angle that I was very suspicious of as well, and may be the hook on which the settlement was hung.      Not at all strange especially if they had former patients who moved there that still owed money on their bills or they were buying hospital supplies from a Texas corporation. They may have business licenses in other states as well.  Small loss, but saxeT shot itself in the foot there since the license was a source of income to the state. 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Nah it's fine, I'm past the point of really blaming them most of the time. I've gotten used to it, and they could be a whole lot worse.   I'm glad you have a good place, though <3
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I wonder about the professional knowledge level here.  Men have milk ducts.  She, as a nurse, should know this.  This is interesting  https://www.livescience.com/45732-can-men-lactate.html  Yes, men can lactate and have lactated, trans or cis.  The idea that Birdie does not have milk ducts or tissue is just plain wrong.  Her statement indicates that she has not looked at the medical record, which she should be familiar with to treat the patient. 
    • Ivy
      Trans women can lactate under the right conditions. But that's not even the case in your situation.  It's so stupid how they simply refuse to accept your reality.
    • missyjo
      I used to include going ti worship but no longer    awkward good fir you. enjoy. :)   raine  sorry. my family is pretty lousy at support too. my part time job helps alot. hope it gets better fir you n all
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...