Rough adolescence

[Lorelei]

I think I was the victim of an attempted sexual assault. Even then I felt like I was in the wrong body so I was very self conscious. The crime itself was in fifth grade when other adolescent classmates were obsessed at measuring their genitalia in the restroom and wanted to measure me too to compare. I was/am not well endowed (and I am thankful that I am not) and I didn’t want to even have those parts so I didn’t go along with it. I guess it was attempted sexual assault by my classmates now that I think of it. They also harassed me and it. It was an ongoing issue, not a one time occurrence. They never actually touched me, but they wanted to and kept trying to see my genitalia. Eventually they let up on it, but I still used the stalls until college. I didn’t regularly use urinals until I started work after college graduation. They did beat me up pretty regularly though. I was bullied a lot during my childhood, back in elementary school.
 

In high school I was just average and nobody picked on me then. I was still called “hyper changer” since I was so paranoid of people looking at me in the gym locker room I would run there and would be finished changing before anyone else arrived. Then after class I would change so quickly nobody saw me changing. College was pretty normal and no bullying even though one of the bullies from elementary school was in my college religion class freshman year. I was in engineering and him in some other major, so I didn’t see him after that class. 

 

The events in fifth grade scarred me for life with a terribly shy bladder. Up until that I never had trouble using the bathroom. 
 

I do not know if this is the type of crime addressed in this forum, but I feel it is appropriate here. Compared to some of the posts here, I am actually pretty lucky. 

[Ashley0616]

Unfortunately it doesn't qualify for sexual assault but bullying yes. 

 

sexual assault: illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority

 

I was raped and do know what I'm talking about in the terms similar to it. It still doesn't make it right though so I do apologize that they did that to you. Maybe on the bright side they saw what they did to you was wrong but unfortunately never apologized for it. I'm not trying to belittle your experience so I do want to make sure that is out there.

[Mmindy]

5 minutes ago, Lorelei said:

I was still called “hyper changer” since I was so paranoid of people looking at me in the gym locker room I would run there and would be finished changing before anyone else arrived. Then after class I would change so quickly nobody saw me changing.

@Lorelei I was also in "hyper change" mode when I was in Jr. High School because of the same locker room antics. Once I reached High School people saw that summer break had been good to me as far as growth spurts go. This allowed me to slow down my change mode to being the last one in and the last one out. I still had the same fear of being seen, and most of my team mates saw it as being modest, not shy. My football and track exploits, allowed me to avoid regular gym class and the bullies who couldn't understand team events were eliminated from my life. Larger teammates aka, linemen kept me protected. When I was forced into a gym class, I took traditional girls events such as volley ball, gymnastics, or softball. I was able to do a complete routine on the uneven parallel bars, and my floor routine was seen as a clown's dance, but I did it. This helped to build on my class clown identity. To this day I maintain a very modest bathroom routine. Shoot I don't try on clothing in store dressing rooms because I don't trust them. I would rather return them than try them on anywhere else but my own bedroom.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Lorelei]

23 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Unfortunately it doesn't qualify for sexual assault but bullying yes. 

 

sexual assault: illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority

 

I was raped and do know what I'm talking about in the terms similar to it. It still doesn't make it right though so I do apologize that they did that to you. Maybe on the bright side they saw what they did to you was wrong but unfortunately never apologized for it. I'm not trying to belittle your experience so I do want to make sure that is out there.

I kind of figured that. But it did traumatize me for life so it still seems to be appropriate on this thread.