Any safety tips for 'pool-side' hangout for my MTF?

[Concerned father]

Hey guys, how you all doing, hoping all is well?

 

So to update for those familiar with my situation. Finally got my 25 year old Autistic Bi-Gender MTF in an apartment in a large apartment building but there is a swimming pool and courtyard and he is already excited about hanging out there soon as it opens. Even though the building itself has 24/7 security and cameras everywhere, my concern is the possibility of someone easily following him to see which apartment he lives in is a worry for me or maybe I am being paranoid.

 

Anyways, can I trouble you all for any safety tips when in and around the pool environment please? Also if Mike has to swim in the pool any tips for swim-wear?

[Carolyn Marie]

At least at first, I would have your daughter not hang out there or swim unless she has you or another trusted friend to be there with her.  If all goes well then perhaps you all can relax a bit after a few times without any issues popping up.

 

As for swim wear, what seems to work well for me is a one piece bathing suit with an attached "skirt" or fringe that covers the "sensitive" area.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Concerned father]

Thank you! My sentiments exactly but Mike will do as he pleases so best I can do is the usual, only advise him. I had suggested to him to go down there [if he has to] only together with his Com Hab worker so time will tell if he will comply. As for the bathing suit that is a GREAT idea [thank you] which I will pass on to him and hoping he will comply.

 

 

[Concerned father]

@Carolyn Marie

Hi, regarding this which you wrote:

 

At least at first, I would have your daughter not hang out there or swim unless she has you or another trusted friend to be there with her.

 

Can you tell me what 'your' reservations are with Mike hanging out there please? My reasoning is for him to avoid showing his body in that environment attracting the wrong people in the process which can simply follow him to see in exactly which apartment he lives.

 

While there are cameras on his floor located over the elevators there is none in front of his door so what's to prevent someone from picking the lock? There is only a peep hole on the door but that doesn;t show if there would be another person standing at the side.

[Charlize]

Perhaps you should have some additional locks added to your daughter's door.  My sister in law lives in Manhattan and she has quite a few locks on quite a stout door.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

3 hours ago, Concerned father said:

Can you tell me what 'your' reservations are with Mike hanging out there please? My reasoning is for him to avoid showing his body in that environment attracting the wrong people in the process which can simply follow him to see in exactly which apartment he lives.

 

 

 

My concerns are similar to yours, @Concerned father.  There is a term we sometimes use for when one of us is recognized as being transgender; the term is "clocked."  Given that women in bathing suits are always scrutinized by men (and women), I have a concern that being at the pool would increase her risk of being clocked by someone with bad intentions.  Having a friend there would reduce the chance of harassment and provide protection, at least until she finds out if the other residents are kind and friendly.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Concerned father]

On 3/23/2024 at 11:32 AM, Carolyn Marie said:

 

My concerns are similar to yours, @Concerned father.  There is a term we sometimes use for when one of us is recognized as being transgender; the term is "clocked."  Given that women in bathing suits are always scrutinized by men (and women), I have a concern that being at the pool would increase her risk of being clocked by someone with bad intentions.  Having a friend there would reduce the chance of harassment and provide protection, at least until she finds out if the other residents are kind and friendly.

 

Carolyn Marie

 

Thank you for the explanation and also for informing me of the term 'clocked'. 

 

@Charlize

Thanks, I will have a closer look at the 'locks' situation and report back.

 

 

 

[Concerned father]

Hey guys. Just reporting back. So, I spoke to one of the maintenance guys who said there are at least 6 Trangenders in the building, 2 on Mike's floor and 4 on the floor below. You won't believe how so very relieved I was [am] to hear as I had always thought he would be the only Trans in that building and would be singled out, that was one of my biggest fears.

 

Guy also said that since there are cameras all over the place and active security in the main lobby 24/7 plus no incidents of wrong doing to any Trans tenants in the past he doesn't see any need for an added lock or videocam on the door.

 

I have always preached to mike not to get too comfortable or let his guard down in any situation but do you guys think I am just being a paranoid parent and should let things stay as they are or should I still try to get the added lock and Cam please? These the current locks on the inside of his door:

 

https://i.postimg.cc/jdsVfr0n/lock.jpg

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Sounds like the building management has got it covered pretty well.  I think you can relax a bit, but your advice to your child is still sound.  Keeping your guard up and, as we used to say in the PD, watching "your six" is always a good approach to life and safety.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Mmindy]

5 hours ago, Concerned father said:

do you guys think I am just being a paranoid parent

Concerned Father,

As a parent you should be semi-paranoid about you children when they first move out. This doesn't mean you should teach you kids to be paranoid. Teach them to be aware of their surroundings, but have fun while they're participating in life. As @Carolyn Marie said, watch "your six".

 

You're doing the right things, and asking to correct question.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Concerned father]

On 4/4/2024 at 3:49 PM, Mmindy said:

Teach them to be aware of their surroundings, but have fun while they're participating in life. As @Carolyn Marie said, watch "your six".

Thanks guys, great advice. 'Danger awareness' is one problem mike has always had from early childhood and mainly due to his Autism, that is THE main reason for my paranoia. So to compensate, I always have to try to foresee any and all potential situations and try to school him on recognizing those situations and do things to prevent from getting into problems.