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Guest paulv67

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Guest paulv67

hi my name for right now is Paul i think i am suffering from GID while suffering would be the wrong word think denial would be better

the last time I felt this way I wanted to kill myself how i stopped it dunno started crying tonight i have felt like a women most of my life not sure

dad had a big say if you understand i cant see my therapist till the 16th july right now i do have some hose that ive been wanting to wear

still unsure

any advise?

Paul

ps i could call the doc and leave a voice mail

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Guest Leigh

welcome to the playground.

sounds like you're having a tough day, just don't do anything rash.

it would probably be best to phone your therapist.

i hope that things improve, and we are all here to offer understanding (at the least).

look around and maybe you'll see some helpful advice.

peace&love

leigh

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Guest Joe Cool

Hi Paul,

Welcome to the Playground! I am sorry you are having a hard time right now. This is a great place to get support and feel safe and comfortable just being yourself. Take a look around and jump in with any questions or comments you have. Everyone is very friendly. It is very nice to have you here!

Joe

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Guest LightNebula

Welcome. I think you'll feel better once you start seeing a therapist. I went from being suicidal to barley suicidal (if there's such a thing as that) once I started seeing one. It's a big step in the transition process. I haven't tried it yet, but if you start dressing like a girl, I think that could help you feel even better, too. I hope going to the therapist will help you a lot. :)

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Guest Donna Jean
hi my name for right now is Paul i think i am suffering from GID while suffering would be the wrong word think denial would be better

the last time I felt this way I wanted to kill myself how i stopped it dunno started crying tonight i have felt like a women most of my life not sure

dad had a big say if you understand i cant see my therapist till the 16th july right now i do have some hose that Ive been wanting to wear

still unsure

any advise?

Paul

ps i could call the doc and leave a voice mail

Hello, Paul!

Welcome to the Playground, Honey!

Yes, denial hurts a lot ....I had it for over 50 years!...

Then the sun came out and I did, too!

And if you have the hose, go ahead and wear them...it may help....

Call the therapist and tell them that you need some dialogue with them NOW! YES CALL!

Good luck, Hon....please come back and let us know how it went!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

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Hey Paul,

I know how you are feeling, like Donna Jean I have been on that river in Eygpt for over 50 years and it is amazing how lonely that can feel when there are so many others there.

So now that you have met a few of the freindly folks here and know that even just having said hello just how much we care, talk to your therapist, leave that voice message and hang on till you get a response.

Now how about relaxing, life can be very hard but if you look at things just a little bit differently it isn't really so bad and to that end we have a little tradition her of offering refreshments and a comfy chair to our new members so you just sit down and I'll bring you some of Donna Jean's hot cocoa and a plate of my fresh baked cookies.

It would seem rather unfriendly to welcome a new family member without refreshments even if they are virtual.

Welcome to the family, relax, ask questions, feel free to respond on any subject and just put on your hose and be yourself.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest brenda lee
hi my name for right now is Paul i think i am suffering from GID while suffering would be the wrong word think denial would be better

the last time I felt this way I wanted to kill myself how i stopped it dunno started crying tonight i have felt like a women most of my life not sure

dad had a big say if you understand i cant see my therapist till the 16th july right now i do have some hose that ive been wanting to wear

still unsure

any advise?

Paul

ps i could call the doc and leave a voice mail

Paul , Sweetie ,Please feel free to seek out our help and the help of a therapist. I too was in denial for a long time ,but decided to start coming out.I truly hope that your dad will be supportive. I know that when I finally tell my mom , she will understand, as I think she has suspected so for a long time.Please keep us posted, we are all here for you.LOL Brenda Lee
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Hey Paul and welcome, I'm another one who was with Sally and DJ on that river in Egypt for over 50 years, Last year my bell rang and i got off that river. If you are a regular patient call and see if he can see you sooner or talk over the phone, my therapist says to call if i need to. Wear the hose it may just make you feel better.

HUGS!

Paula

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Guest ~Nikki~

Hi Paul,

And welcome to the Playground,

All these wonderful people are speaking the truth. It is such a tough journey, and we all look for acceptance. It's all we really want. We cant help how we feel. But we do have to act on it. Like a few of the older and lovely ladies, I myself have been in this struggle for so many years. I have always felt so alone and so belittled, when I havent given the paople I love the most the chance to prove me wrong. Its not a choice Paul. But it is your life. I was 9 years old when I I was different, that was 1974, wow, such a long time ago. It all up to you sweetie.

First of all.... Why do you have to wait to see you therapist? Cant you get an earlier appointment?

If not call him/her, they are there to help. And talk with your dad. Be ready, Have information available to help you explain how you are feeling. Let him read why you feel this way. After you talk to him, show him this site. This site has help me and many others so much. It is such a clean and family site. We are here for each other. This site is about sexuality not sex. whether you feel you are a girl inside and a boy outside, or you know you are girl not a boy, or vice versa.... Or maybe you just like to think of yourself as a girl but still want to be a boy, or vise versa....

It doesnt matter how you are, as long as you feel accepted for who you really are.

Dont be afriad of yourself, I was, it kept me in hiding for 35 years. I am out to my therapist and my wife, and a few other people I totally trust.

12 years ago I married my wife, I have been so afraid of telling her and showing her the "real" me. Now she knows. I told a month ago. She has her stuggles with it, but she is accepting me, as me. I am a MTF cross dresser. I always thought I was TS. But after talking with my theapist, my wife and all my dearfriends on here, I realize, what I really want is to just remain a cross dresser. I love the clothes so much, I love feeling feminine and looking feminine. I could live 24-7 as a woman, but to go through HRT and SRS, those processes are not reversible. . For me, the decision was easy, after I started talk to real people, not just myself.

Please take a little advice, take baby steps, dont rush, call your therapist (and is he/she a gender specialist, if not, you may want a new therapist). Look deep into your soul, and most impotantly, talk with your dad, he loves and only wants the best for you and wants to see you happy. But have information ready for him. He will be scared, confused, angry, he will blame himself, emotions will run rampid. Just know you did nothing wrong, he did nothing wrong. It is just how you were born. And its okay.

If you would like to talk with me, or anyone else here, we are all willing to talk and help the best we can.

And for goodness sakes, if he hose feel good to wear, then by all means sweetie, wear them. I wear them under my pants in public. I now shave my legs(and everything else, lol). It feels so good. There are also guy clothes you can buy and feel more feminine in. I wear thosr shorts the ones that are satiny, OMGosh, it feels like I am wearing a skirt. I love them, and they come in solid softer colors. As for tops, wear the same material in tank tops. Its really nce in the summer months. Winter is much easier, you can cover up with different things, I will wear a cami under my shits. and the hose are always on. Just be creative. its more about the feel, right? Oh yes, and if you want to wear jeans, well umm girls jeans do fit better, and there are so many different kinds, just dont buy the girly ones. You will be amazed at what you can get away with. Even shoes........................ lol. Be creative..........

Okay, I have blabbered enough...

Take it easy.

Your new friend,

Nikki

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Guest Alyssa Leigh

Hi Paul

welcome to the playground everyone is so nice here so make your self at home and look around and post as much as you want.

Alyssa L

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Guest androgynous

Hi Paul!

Hope you're doing okay, don't waste too much time thinking, act and put on that hose! they probably can't even tell the difference from a distance, Heck, I wore a very girlie pants last week and no-one noticed it. :D if you don't dare to walk with it in public, just wear it at home. That will satisfy your feelings a little bit.

So two weeks! until you see the therapist! enjoy that time dreaming about how you want to look like, or start to experiment a bit! or read the forums here!

You will be fine, certainly with so many good people on the forum here!

Take care and love yourself.

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Guest Jessica22450

Hello Paul, I believe I have seen you in the chat as well. As others said start wearing the hose, I just tried for the first time wearing girls' Underwear, And it felt really great, I had a great rush of happiness from it. Your Gender Identity will be known to you don't worry.

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Guest AllisonD

If you can't see your therapist or talk to him/her right away then spend a little more time here. You will see lots of threads that make sense to you. You will read lots of people's thoughts that correspond well with where you are at. Sometimes just reading about someone else's thoughts will help you distill your own out of all that confusion. Chances are very good that you will meet several people that feel just as you do, just as confused, with only a vague sense of direction. Post to them. They'll be just as interested in talking to you are you are to them.

The real key here is that you are not alone. I am AMAZED at how many people need/frequent/use this site! Join us, you are welcome, and you will find answers that fit. I know, 'cause I've only been here a week and I've found lots of answers here myself.

Lots of people have already responded to you. Answer back, we are waiting to hear how you feel, what your questions are, and what we can do to help.

from a big sister who's been there,

Allison

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Guest paulv67

Thank you for the replys while i still have not gone gone to the hose i will tonight I am still crying about all this and waiting for a phone call back from the doc I am also going to joing the wagon here as I feel that I do have a drinking problem while it is the 4th i dont feel drinking a 12pk is needed

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Guest ~Nikki~
Thank you for the replys while i still have not gone gone to the hose i will tonight I am still crying about all this and waiting for a phone call back from the doc I am also going to joing the wagon here as I feel that I do have a drinking problem while it is the 4th i dont feel drinking a 12pk is needed

Just remember sweetie, we are with you, and we understand what you are going through. I hope the hose helps, I now keep my legs shaved, and omgosh, I love it. Please feel free to ask anyone of here for help and just to talk whenever you feel you need to. Do you go to the chat room? I am there often and so are many others. Please come and join us.

Hugs,

Nikki

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