Lets Not Bring Ignorance Here

[Guest Zabrak]

As a mod, it is part of the description that I read (almost) every post. Through the time of my modding, and even before, theres something I noticed that keeps coming up to the surface and invading the playground. By no means do I want to scare these people away who do it - but open their eyes and force them to see what they're doing. We have a little slice of heaven here at Laura's and I wish to keep it protected.

This invader, ignorance, is something every GLBT person deals with daily. Yet we still see these people dish out the same type of thing. Giving out what they cry for people to stop. Everyone in their own way are hypocrites, I'm sure no ones 100% free of it including me. However, we can try to free ourselves here of it.

What am I talking about? There are times where people who are MTF/FTM/Crossdressers/you name it come here and show their 'hate' towards other members of another group. It can be as small as a jester to never answer a post by a member of a group that person doesn't like - or it can be as big as to word that they don't like MTFs/FTMs/Crossdressers. Theres been so many ways people who are constantly under prejudice show their own right on Laura's little forum here.

I ask again, please, leave your ignorance at the doorstep of Laura's. Lets show the world how we want to be treated.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Here Here Zab!!!

Glasses clincking!! Zab, although I believe that I am not prejudiced towards anyone, in any way. I may not realize that I am excluding people. Notify me, if I ever appear prejudiced in any way!! You may do it publically if it serves the public good. I will understand.

Zab!!! you are the best!!

HUGS

Brenda

[Sally]

It is true that everyone has their little blind spots and bringing them to our attention is not a bad idea at all.

I have been told by my previous employeers that I am the least prejudiced person they know, but after looking around at their friends it wasn't that much of a compliment!

None of us are perfect but that is no excuse for not trying to improve.

While I will admit that I do not understand how anyone can balance both genders because I know I can't doesn't mean that I can't have any Androgyne friends and for me cross dressing was the beginning of my journey for others it is their comfort zone and where they want to stay, does that make me better than them, of course not, only different!

We are so alike even in our differences so like Zabrak (one of my very favorite FTMs) says let's leave the ignorance at the doorway.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest LightNebula]

What am I talking about? There are times where people who are MTF/FTM/Crossdressers/you name it come here and show their 'hate' towards other members of another group. It can be as small as a jester to never answer a post by a member of a group that person doesn't like - or it can be as big as to word that they don't like MTFs/FTMs/Crossdressers.

GLBT people treating other GLBT people of another group like that... that's sad.

[Guest skyy]

i know what you mean sally. i've personally seen Deeedoo change between male and female more than three times in half an hour, and sometimes not change for a week. its mind-boggling for me to understand how one can just switch like that, but that just makes it all the more fun to figure Deeedoo out. and i like crossdressers and drag queens to, it isnt my thing, but it is what makes us different that truely brings us all together if we let it. hug to all my unique friends on this site, you all are like a family to me

[Guest Eth]

Very very true. This is something that we all need to learn and work on. Few of us can claim to be 100% free of prejudice/bias, and the rest of us need to learn from those who can. We'll never get anywhere if we're not working together so I totally agree with Zabrak: leave your ignorance at the doorstep.

愛 Eth

[Guest Leigh]

i haven't personally experienced this here (well, a little in chat). but i can see that this is a good topic.

also people often don't realize when they are saying something that might be hurtful to someone else, and perhaps this will remind us to think carefully before we write something on these forums.

that's for putting it up.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest Donna Jean]

but it is what makes us different that truly brings us all together if we let it. Hug to all my unique friends on this site, you all are like a family to me biggrin.gif

How true, Skyy....

Our uniqueness makes us the same...

We HAVE to leave this at the door............

We're all we got! Each other.......and if we keep fragmenting it... it will be down to a very few people!

It's all about love....

lets accept when no one else will..............

Much love...

Donna Jean

[Guest Neuro]

I've experienced this in the real world, but not on here. For instance, people saying "It's OK for two girls to make out and be together. But two guys is disgusting." or, "Transgender people are only MtF, the ***** who want to be all FtM are just lesbians or tomboys"

People who say this kind of thing are, oh; I dunno--my parents or my best friends.

I hope we all realize that we are different, but not one of us is higher or mightier than the other. I hope!

--Michael

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, here's the hard part..........

We're all a product of our environment...the feelings and behaviors were given to us...

It's not how we really are!

But, sometimes it's hard to shake....

We need to WORK on it.....

MAKE it different in our heads and lives.......

Thanks, Zab, for making this evident to us all.......

HUGG

Donna Jean

[Guest AllisonD]

Sometimes I feel so out of it. I just don't get it.

We are different from each other? I guess this takes me by surprise (I lie, I KNOW this idea took me by surprise). I've only been here a few days but I think I must have read messages counted in the small hundreds already from the ViewNewPosts tool. If it was new, I read it, so I must have seen a fair crossection of the people posting here. It seemed clear to me that every single contributing person has the same problem/interest/concern: questions about gender. There may be nuances with respect to how/when/where we present how we feel, and there certainly is a wide range of ages, but really - I see no differences among us. I get a very strong sense of family, of belonging, of being welcome on this site and it never ocurred to me that there may be others that don't get precisely the same.

Like I said, I'm new, and so perhaps not sensitive to a subtle segregation if there is one. But I have yet to see it. If I manage to stumble on a bruise and offend someone please believe it is entirely unintentional and that I am oblivious to my offense. So please tell me should I commit a faux-pas.

Thanks,

Allison

[Guest Zabrak]

Its few and far between, but there are members where right off the bat you know they aren't friendly towards another group. Usually it starts off in the welcome thread, where they only thank the group of users that they like and refuse to acknowledge or thank the others. Then the pattern keeps up outside of the welcome thread and never seems to end. Its sad knowing if you post in this persons thread they'll just ignore you and wait for another member to post JUST because you are mtf/ftm/crossdresser/whatever.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I don't see it much. Perhaps I am naive. The first inkling I got was from some complaining that posts seemed aimed at MTFs and were apparently saying, MTFs don't need to bother answering. I mean this post came from a friend - who happenes to be FTM. I didn't realize that was going on. So I guess it was true, I mean my friend is always truthful.

My experience though is MaryEllen almost ALWAYS comes on and makes a comment when this happens, saying the forum is for everyone!

I also see the teens come on and ask for only other young people to respond. That makes sense I guess, but I think they are just mainly trying to get answers to questions from their peers.

So I don't see it much - at least in forum.

Now - in chat - I have accidently gone into the FTM room and been chased out! NO GIRLS ALLOWED! they told me. But the rules are different there, you stay uot of FTM if you are MTF and vice-a-versa. Also, unless you are a moderator, you stay away from a crisis room when a mod and a person in trouble are there. That all makes sense.

BUT - now that Zab mentions it, although I greet everyone - sometimes it seems those saying hello are different sometimes. I always thought it was seridepity - whoever was there at the time. I agree, I would like to see new people met and welcomed by everyone!

So that is a valid thought I think.

When I first was diagnosed by my therapist she warned me I would be transphobic at first. I mean , the idea of men in dresses! (I didn't even consider FTM or crossdressers!) It took my own self acceptance to learn to accept all of us who are gender dysphoric. And everyone knows we can be pretty hard to look at when we first start, (1) we DON"T know how to present (2) HRT changes us (3) after self acceptance we just seem to better become the other gender.

And I then went to GLBT meetings for transgender support. I met SOOOO many fine people there! I was embarrased that I didn't present fully - these people were so brave and so helpful to me. Most were FTM by the way - 7 to 3 ratio. They would hug me! My GOD my heart went out to them - my only acceptance at the time!

So then I was on Laura's - and the soul comes out in the writing! Oh my - we love each other here! my oh my oh my...

So I could not disown or EVER downtalk about a sister or brother here. And I don't want anyone else doing it either!

If I see it I will yell at them - WAKE UP! We are all the same.

Lizzy

[Guest Zabrak]

Yup, there are a few people who spoke some concerns about it privately. So I did this for those who are too shy to address it in open forums themselves - along with the fact I've seen it myself. I don't want anyone to feel they can't say anything and have to hide in the conner.

A example of one of these threads is 15 people say hello - then this new user only says "hi ladies" and quotes every mtf, even if the mtf just says "hello. welcome" and thanks them. Avoiding anyone who's not mtf.

Theres more cases as Lizzy pointed out...but its good to be aware of where it might start.