Hypothetical If I May?

[Guest Impossible Princess]

I guess Im just throwing one out here at the moment and call for advice and opinions on a hypethetical situation that someone in the community may or may not face while transitioning. Remember the main point here is that its a hypothetical situation.

Ok you have a pre operative M2F whom has been on very high doses of hormones for the last five years, there is another two years on hormones in her past, People like her, she is respected by many, but suffers chronicaly with Rhuematoid Arthritis, Liver Disease, Mental Health Issues, and chronic depression. Most of the time she is stuck at home with her ever loving partner and her son who have accepted her as her and have never failed in their respect of her, the two of them love each other intensly, they would gladly give their lives for each other. Not believeing that she will ever see her SRS due to her financial situation she has been fighting to have an orchidectomy for the last 3 years and yet they continue to tell her no for whatever reason that they use each time. She began cutting herself, everytime she heard another No she cut herself yet again, then they would use the cutting to say she was to unstable. They couldnt comprehend that the cutting was BECAUSE they were saying no to her. Its been two months since she cut her arm again. She has absolutely no desire for any kind of sexual contact, its like her sexuality has been killed, it just isnt there, this upsets her partner who intern blames her hormones and that she HAS to take them, she doesnt really like her on the hormones and would love for her to stop and go back to being a man. She has been having thoughts, the fight over the last three years has been long and arduous, tiring, almost back breaking, and she is still no further in her transition than where she was three years ago, she has been stagnating for three whole years, with no hope to be seen on the horizon. Does she go back to being a man to please her partner? Does she continue to fight the good fight hoping upon hope that somthing will change? Is it not just easier to be a man and just be done with it? what does she do?

Warmest regards in Hypothetical

Devils Daughter

[Sally]

Hypothetically it is easier for everyone else if she just goes back to being a man, but the physical condition that causes GID will come back it always does.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Martin]

If she detransitions, she's probably going to have an even harder time getting surgery later if she decides to retransition. If she's that miserable over not having surgery, I fail to see how she'll be Happily Ever After due to detransitioning.

I would say that it the optimally she'll get help with the cutting and find a therapist and doctor who are understanding and supportive to get what she needs. And if her partner partner is really that supportive yet makes continually comments about how she should live and look like a man, it's time for a Long Talk about what being supportive really looks like. I'd also suggest that this hypothetical person gets hooked-up with resources outside of her family - even if it's a support group or something. While various mental health issues, including depression, can make isolating extremely appealing, most people with those same issues are actually happier and function better when they have regular contact with the outside world. As for hormones killing sexuality, it is true that anti-androgens can do that. I've heard that having an orchidectomy can actually increase libido because then the anti-androgens can be stopped and the low levels of androgens still in the body can actually be utilized. I don't know if this is true; I'm not a doctor and I have no personal experience. Maybe a change in dosage would help. If psychotropics are used, the could also be the cause - maybe different ones could be used. Or maybe it's the depression, in which case more effective treatment can help. Or maybe she just doesn't care much about sex and is perfectly okay with not having it, in which case another Long Talk might be in order so that her partner's needs AND her needs are being met. As for the arthritis and liver disease, I have no advice except that an orchidectomy would actually lower the amount of medication that needs to be processed by the liver.

But as for what this hypothetical person actually does, I don't know. Every person is different.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I don't believe we can ever go back! We all have moments of hesitation, and sometimes it leads to doubt.

We just can't go back - just can't.

Lizzy

[Guest Impossible Princess]

I want to thank you for your replies, on a hypothetical nature it gives much to think about.

Warmest regards

Devils Daughter

[Guest Ryles_D]

I don't believe we can ever go back! We all have moments of hesitation, and sometimes it leads to doubt.

We just can't go back - just can't.

Lizzy

Some people do go back. I've heard of too many people who face so much hardship for being a transitioned transwoman and no way out that they feel they have to transition back to male. It's scary, but also a reality.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

If I went back? Two months later I would be dead. I know that.

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

If I went back? Two months later I would be dead. I know that.

Lizzy

Not me, Lizzy....

It would take me 3 months........

Same result.

Love

Donna Jean

[Sally]

There are some who do go back but they are the ones who probably should have given it a great deal more thought.

There is a tendency to want to believe that once you have transitioned that everything will be just fine and the world will be perfect, your dream has come true so why not?

Because the world remains a nightmare, that will not change only how you feel about yourself so get a good look at that before you go through transitioning.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Good point Sally - expecting everything to be better after transitioning is a terrible way to be. I tell my therapist that I still have my same day to day problems, I am just a woman now. Being chemically female has altered my brain chemistry somewhat, but we women have been surviving just as well as the men forever (actually - we have figured out how to make them do a lot of the heavy work - grin). So all that has happened is my gender dysphoria is extremely lessened and that 'filter' has gone away - so I can easier face everyday living.

Those who de-transition? I donno. I can't imagine doing that - I mean, it's like going to the surgeon and saying, doctor, I want my club foot back!

YIKES.

Elizabeth

[Guest NatalieRene]

All of this talk of killing ourselves is so depressing.

Is the major issue coming up with money to pay for the srs? Have you considered applying for several credit cards and taking cash advances? I know it is not ideal and more like last ditch and it will come at a high interest rate but they won't question the cash advance. Then after the surgery you can consolidate the credit card(s) balance into a lower interest loan if your credit history is good and pay it off over time.