Therapist Today!

[Sally]

Eth,

This is a very big step in the right direction, you have a therapist who is willing to help you but she does want you to be stable - no suicide attempts.

She is definately on your side - congratulations.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

FINALLY some real progress. You don't necessarily need an endocrinologist. My prescribing physician is an ObGyn - but he is also a member of the GLBT community. Talk with them if you can find a chapter. I actually have an Endo - for Diabetes. He doesn't understand transpeople and didn't want to prescribe for me.

Doctor's are TERRIFIED of us - they think we sue them! Maybe some cases have occured but with the proper diagnoses by a qualified therapist, they are really protected from the nut cases.

Eth - good luck on finding someone, really! Hope it happens. You do know at 17-18, it won't be a problem. Plus, if you can't get the entire HRT package (estrogen) try at least for T-blockers. Use the spin it will allow you to gain maturity so you can be certain you want to transition.

Oh honey - so goooood!

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

You hang in there, Eth......you're on track now!

Good for you.

You see, baby, the good doctor wants to see stability ....they will be putting their name on a paper that says you're good to go.....they don't want to have their signature on a paper that says you are ready to go if you're not...

Also remember that everyone has thoughts in life that are wrong minded ...such as..."I could rob that bank!" sure you could, but your brain understands the consequences of that action and doesn't act on it....

Same with suicide....

You have your foot in the door now, Sweetheart.......build on that......OK?

Good for you, Sweetheart!

Love

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Eth, not sure how I missed your post, but better late than never, right?

I'm really happy for you, Hon. I know exactly how you feel to start therapy. I've

been going for just three weeks myself and I look forward to it with great anticipation now.

Being able to openly discuss things that you've kept hidden is a great relief, and an

emotional release. You are on the right path, and I wish you all the best of luck in

the world.

Keep us posted, will you?

Be well and be happy.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Tammy Maher]

We talked about suicide, basically. She needed to know about my past attempts, and things like that, since apparently the whole reason I was brought here was because of when my dad caught me trying to hang myself (nice to know THAT's what he cared about, not that I'm gender dysphoric?... at least he got me the right therapist, I guess).

I guess the only way I can explain your father's love for you is to quote one of my favorite movies...Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers "No parent should have to bury their child." I believe that this is your father's train of thought, so don't view it as though he isn't trying to get help to sort his own life out, but as he is doing everything he can.

Good luck,

()/

Janelle

[Guest Evan_J]

apparently the whole reason I was brought here was because of when my dad caught me trying to hang myself (nice to know THAT's what he cared about, not that I'm gender dysphoric?

Um yeah I hate to be the "party pooper" but as an old guy I gotta say, if it was me the part where I might lose my child in an "eternity" way is the part that becomes paramount. I know the dysphoria could lead to that but as a parent I would have to say the immediate threat is what would have me running and panicing.

[Guest Eth]

The thing that isn't being understood though, is that I literally CANNOT wait until I am 18. When I am 18, this will be my situation:

1) Homeless

2) No education

3) No job

4) No money

5) Few posessions, if any

6) No car or any other form of transportation

I don't want to add "no hormone treatment" on top of that. It's sad, but when I think about it, all that comes to mind is "I can handle the homeless bit and all, I've been on the streets before. But what I can't take another MINUTE of is my BODY"...

That's why I HAVE to have this before I am 18. I refuse to continue going through male puberty. I refuse to let things get worse. Being on the streets to me is like a tiny nick on my finger in the grand scheme of things, but my body is just that- my whole body. What keeps me going is the hope that I'll have my body in the future. I can wait so long, but I absolutely cannot wait for several more *years*. At that point, I'm not suicidal because of depression alone, but also on logic that, if I have to waste ALL of my earliest, most important years of life on this, only to waste the rest of my life trying to be myself, why try? It stops becoming worth it to me. I really put a lot of thought into it, and ask myself "will spending a few more years of misery be worth it if I can get to be me in the end?" and the answer is honestly NO. It isn't worth it to me if I can't get at least some of my body before life- in general- gets worse. That is something I just can't handle. I talked a little to my therapist, and even she says she honestly has no idea how, with all the stuff I've gone through and will go through in life, have managed to survive up to this point. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue either, and the more I think about it the less it seems worth it.

I'm not suicidal, I'm exhausted. My body fleshy prison is exhausted, my brain/mind is exhausted, my willpower is exhausted, my hope for a better future is exhausted. I am completely, and totally, exhausted. Why do I keep pushing through? What do I do?

愛 Eth

[Guest Sara N]

A late response, never saw this topic and I was preoccupied for the week.

First off it sounds like you have a great therapist so do your best to hold onto that.

Though your therapist said you might have to wait awhile, awhile doesn’t necessarily

mean until your 18.

Try the question “how long can you wait?” a year? more than a year? less than a year?

and talk to your therapist about that. Once she confirms that your stable, you can get

the letter, and from there search every nook and cranny for an endo that will accept you.

Even if it’s not estrogen at the very least blockers should be acceptable if you can live

with that. If not continue working with your therapist. Though difficult it’s not impossible.

As for why you keep on pushing forward: the fact that you’re ever closer to your goal,

the support from all of us, the hope of someday falling into your boyfriend’s arms , ect..

Best of luck,

~Sara

[Sally]

Eth,

Your therapist said it might be difficult to find an endo for you at your age, not impossible and there are some who will work with patients outsdie of their ares, you have the blood work done and sent to them, they prescribe and then tell you when they need more tests.

Dr. McGinn does this, you have your therapist send your letter to her, then you have a telephone consultationwith her and then you get your prescritption.

There are ways, Eth - never give up.

Keep thinking about the ways and then you don't have to be so sad and no more suicide attempts and then the letter.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest NicolaiAE]

First off, and I don't know why I didn't see this post, I want to say congratulations on the therapist.

Your situation of finding a job is felt all over the US. I'm having a hard time too and I've held a job with some very helpful people. I know that thinking about the future, even if it's just a few years ahead, can be pretty scary, I tend to take things one day at a time. The car problem, when and if you get a job you cannuy cars from the police impound for as cheap as $500 and trust me, even if you work only 27 hours a week ( I was doing that over the summer 2 years ago at minimum wage) you can make that kind of money in a few short weeks. Homeless may be a problem but I believe you may be able to stay at Safe Place at 18 or even try and share an appartment with a few people.

Anyways, I'm sure the economy will come back up. For the sake of all us job seekers....

Sorry if I sound ununderstanding and careless

I hope everything works out.

[Guest Eth]

First off, and I don't know why I didn't see this post, I want to say congratulations on the therapist.

Your situation of finding a job is felt all over the US. I'm having a hard time too and I've held a job with some very helpful people. I know that thinking about the future, even if it's just a few years ahead, can be pretty scary, I tend to take things one day at a time. The car problem, when and if you get a job you cannuy cars from the police impound for as cheap as $500 and trust me, even if you work only 27 hours a week ( I was doing that over the summer 2 years ago at minimum wage) you can make that kind of money in a few short weeks. Homeless may be a problem but I believe you may be able to stay at Safe Place at 18 or even try and share an appartment with a few people.

Anyways, I'm sure the economy will come back up. For the sake of all us job seekers....

Sorry if I sound ununderstanding and careless

I hope everything works out.

Lack of a license and recorded history/education is still a problem, though.

愛 Eth

[Guest Eth]

Well guys, today is therapist day. I go in about eight hours (OMG I Better get some sleep! ... yeah I've been up all night. Again.) so yeah.

This will be my fourth session. Today, I really really wanna try something. See, I've been working on my voice really really hard lately, and I've got something pretty decent now. Nowhere near perfect, but pretty good. I am going to ask her if I can try using that voice while talking to her for this session, which would let me see if I can actually, y'know, hold a full hour-long conversation with the voice, and also would give me someone to talk to in person to tell me how it sounds. So, we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I'll do well.

愛 Eth

[Guest AllisonD]

Eth,

Do not forget you are the customer here. Do what you want with your time with her, it is yours. Use your voice, behave as you want, present as you need to present. Good luck on getting your letter. Perhaps it will be today, we all wish you the best with that.

Allison

[Guest Eth]

Well, I completely and totally failed. I talked to her about it, and tried several times, but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT get my voice to work in front of a live person. She gave me her email and I'm supposed to attach a voice clip to it later. This really sucks.... but oh well.

Next session is going to be a family session with her, me and my dad. We'll see how that goes.

愛 Eth

[Carolyn Marie]

Don't get discouraged, Eth. It was just your first attempt. It will get easier.

Good luck on the family session next week.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest AshleyRF]

Grats Eth... I hope everything works out for you. I wish I could have started at your age.