Masculine Mannerisms?

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

Hi Charlie,

Good topic! Here's a couple of things I've noticed and have been doing:

1. the guy-to-guy head-nod - nod up with the chin, you can either say nothing or "what's up" if you know him

2. take up as much space as you like. it's very comfy to sprawl. be a gentleman and make room for a girl, but wait for another guy to make eye-contact with you to move for him.

3. try to make answers to questions and explanations as straight-to-the-point as possible

4. make liberal use of the salutations "man", 'dude', 'brother', 'bro', 'buddy', and 'this guy' - lots of variety as compared to just "girl" or "girlfriend"

5. walk with your legs, not your hips

6. appear confident - head up, aware of things around you

7. the opposite of everything you might have been told/forced to do to be "lady-like" *shudder*

I'd be interested in hearing other guys' observations.

MK

Wow, I don't think it's all that bad.

I will give you a mixture of Methods, principles, and philosophy.

Actually, I think you can put off a very masculine vibe just being confident, happy, and loud.

What everybody said about taking up space is totally correct. I think it's because men are usually warmer.

But yea. Whatever you like to do, whether it's playing video games, sports, making things, doing projects, playing an instrument, working on your car... ANYTHING, whether it's stereotypically male or not. It's more important that it's your quest/your mission. You need things like that. Those things are what occupy a man's mind, they are why most men don't notice the dirt on the floor. Make big plans, and work on them all the time. Have a purpose in life.

Just be about what you love and smile and be happy because you're pursuing your passion. Speak passionately, speak intensely. Smile like you own the whole world.

You don't have to worry about "dogs invading your territory."

Think about a guy like Brad Pitt. Do you think he snarls, or lets people know their place? If someone comes up to him and has some nonsense to talk, he probably just ignores it. Let bad stuff be outside your radar. Just say something like, "you know what goes good with Vodka? I'd like a lime and some vodka now" or something like that. Be the prince in his territory, man. You don't need to act alpha, you need to BE alpha. Men who are trying to be alpha usually aren't.

Just be cool and confident. Swagger like you just got laid and be loud.

And a secret tip: Listen to "The Blueprint" by Tyler Durden. It's a pick up artist recording and he really gets into how to act like an attractive strong man. I think he's right on. He also gets into some deep level differences between men and women culturally. It helped me actually pinpoint many of the things I preferred about being a woman. You should be able to pirate it online. If you're really looking to be an awsome man, join your local pick up artists lair. There's probably guys there that are total dweebs, probably some more femme than you were when you were 12.. and plenty of them are going to be shyer than you are. Just go. Get socialized about being a man, and maybe get some really hot women in the process.

Well that's all I gots folks. I pass the torch. I've been letting go of masculinity, of manhood for awhile. I gave it one last hurrah because I thought it would be easier to change internally than externally.

Boy was I wrong :-)

--Jeannine

PS: Oh yea, breathe deeply. Breathe into your belly if you can. Talk from that depth. I've done yoga and Qi Kung with women who worked out and had powerful hearts and lungs.. even compared to my couch potato cousin who gets winded walking up the steps, women almost always breathe pretty shallow.

[Guest katiewana]

Don't worry about the "rules", lots of guys do things like cross their legs and talk with their hands.

The most important thing is to just have a quiet confidence about you. Mannerisms vary quite a bit among men but the common theme among respected men is that they assert themselves. Don't act aggressively, glaring at people and such, or you'll just end up in a lot of fights; but command your space, if someone bumps into you they bump into you, only move if asked, and when you speak do so in a very concise and direct manner don't use phrases like "Can I have a bottle of water please?" or "Could you pass the salt?" Instead say, "Please give me a bottle of water." or "Please pass the salt." Be polite but be firm and direct.

Just acting like yourself is most important though, it's what we are all striving to do.

[Guest Neuro]

Sounds cliche--but confidence is huge.

Sure, there are men who are shy. Or cute. Or unconfident. But one thing every guy strives to be and admires is a guy who is on-top-of-the-world confident in 100%. It's the same with girls--but, y'know. With guys, having that extra edge... the confidence to just chill, grab whatever you want from the store, talk to whoever you want--but you can't just act it. You can tell a faker from a mile away. You have to really believe in yourself, because you are number ONE. XD

It's not about being a jerk. It's believing in yourself--if you don't, who will? Sure as heck isn't being full of yourself... okay, it is. Just a little. But hey--how can you be confident without it? XD But, it really does matter. Once that happens, a ton else will fall into place--the walking, the talking, everything.

Plus, it's a lot easier to meet new people (and girls COUGHCOUGHCOUGH or if you're anything like me, guys), when you aren't afraid to walk up and say hi. Most people like to be approached, and it is great to give someone something they want that doesn't cost a thing but a nickle of your time.

Wishing everyone best luck on their journey :salutes:

--Michael

[Guest AshleeB]

I just thought i would mention about the way guys generally sit with their legs apart.

i once heard an old school friend mention to another friend that they were taking up to much room like that, the guy said "leave me alone its comfortable" and the girl said to him "JEEZ you men and your crotch space!"

so i beleave the perfect term for the legs spreading when sat down is "crotch space"

just thought i would make that public knowledge. i always giggle at that memory

lots of love!

Ashlee

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

I just thought i would mention about the way guys generally sit with their legs apart.

i once heard an old school friend mention to another friend that they were taking up to much room like that, the guy said "leave me alone its comfortable" and the girl said to him "JEEZ you men and your crotch space!"

so i beleave the perfect term for the legs spreading when sat down is "crotch space"

just thought i would make that public knowledge. i always giggle at that memory

lots of love!

Ashlee

I think it is cultural. Men here in Asia cross their legs like American women while they puff out their chests like peacocks and drink beer like Australian women... Likewise I noticed some Aussies and Limeys will sometimes do the American femme legs cross.. still in a way that is sure of themselves and that I sense they consider "masculine."

--Jeannine

[Guest joeytheman16]

Masculine mannerisms are really hard to pin down. I know I always acted more masculine than most people but I still have a few small feminine quirks, like moving my hands when I talk. It takes a conscious effort to suppress it.

I know a lot of bio guys that move their hands when they talk. I picked it up from them. Not really on purpose but just because I hung out with them a lot. They are straight bio guys who play football in a very small religious town. I don't think that moving my hands while I'm talking is feminine at all. But I also use it to explain what I am talking about because I'm dyslexic and tend to mix words up constantly.

--Joey

[Guest mr_marc]

Best thing i can say is relax, i have the habbit of sittin crossed legged like you did in primary school still lol.

But when im out in a cafe, usually sit with legs open, is comfier o.o

Oh and another thingm dudes talk alot with their hands. Or act out what their sayin women don't cause their frightened they'll look a penis

[Guest Donna Jean]

Oh and another thing dudes talk alot with their hands. Or act out what their sayin women don't cause their frightened they'll look a _____

'Scuse me for coming into your clubhouse, fellows.....

But women talk a LOT with their hands ...it's very much a form of female expression.....

HUGG

Donna Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

'Scuse me for coming into your clubhouse, fellows.....

But women talk a LOT with their hands ...it's very much a form of female expression.....

HUGG

Donna Jean

They do, but they use different gestures and execute em with a different "feeling". I'm peepin out what Marc's alluding to. When men do it they use very "brusk" almost abrasive movements. Their purpose is to make you accept their point. Women use a more "explanatory" movements, there's also a lot of head tilting and smiling (additional movements to assure "I'm not trying to be threatening".) They want you to understand them but are not "confrontive" or "in your face" about it. A mans moves can be.

Are there women who go against this generalization? Yup. But there usually is a repercussion from the society at large when they do. One or two of these deviations from "what acceptable from women" and she gets called a "ballbuster", the derogatory term for lesbian, and female dog. The other women will "gently" try to convince her to go a more "acceptable" route. Make no mistake the double standard is alive and well.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Does anyone have any tips on how to act masculine? I've tried observing on my own, and I've researching, but come up with little. Maybe if we all added little things we noticed, it would add up to, well, a lot of things.

#1-Guys don't cross their legs. They sometimes put their ankle on their opposite knee, but that's as close as they get.

#2-They do often hold their legs very far apart when they sit down.

#3-Guys swing their arms, hold them limp. Girls have this way of clenching all their extremities together, actually, guys don't.

omg@ #1! drives me insane. i overanalyze that all the time because i cross my legs every so often and think "what if it's a male brain wiring thing, and crossing your legs = more femininity?"

but...if anyone ever watches two and a half men, geez, charlie and alan cross their legs at least 90% of the time they sit down on that show..and i think charlie does even more than alan..charlie, aka the womanizing manwhore who is also known in rl for his "bad boy image."

well that's not feminine at all..

maybe it's only ok to do it if you're a middle-aged guy?

ahhh!

[Guest CharlieRose]

He he, this is a *really* old post of mine, it's like a month after I first realized I was transsexual.

I have since given up on changing my mannerisms. I did start taking up more room, lounging more, and doing the ankle thing, where when you sit you put your ankle on your opposite knee, but I still cross my legs, talk with my hands, use *really* feminine inflections and expressions, but I'm trying to stop caring. Because it's not like I'm not gay. (And I know at least one girl who was attracted to me in spite of it, so...)

[Guest Evan_J]

I think the leg-crossing subject has to do with who's doin it, the context of their personality, and the audience you're playin to. Especially the audience you're playin to. Loooong ago, guys like Clark Gable and such could do it (and did) all day long and it was "sophisticated". I think maybe if you were in an eclectic gathering of friends, or intellectuals or wordly peeps (this includes the "alternative" or "goths" both of which have it seems strong European influences) you could and it would play. If you were with a girl or some guys "around the neighborhood" no.

[Guest My_Genesis]

My dad does it a lot too

[Guest Adrian]

This topic makes me laugh - I've learned a bit but there's a) a lot of things here which I don't think are really true and those I do agree with I mostly do and always have done, not out of copycatting but just because I do.

Having said that i have started to watch my guy friends and see how they do it all, then I realise the more I watch the less natrual I come off. It's better, for me at least, to chill and do it how I do it.

I always use the armrests and take up alot of space. I sit in a sprawl / slouch. I walk with my legs with my shoulders forward. I get what I call the 'early morning mutters' - where tiredness and other factors lower and maybe slightly croak your voice, plus dim the volume so all that comes out are barely coherent sounds lacking intonation which most women cannot understand at all

I do tend to do the micro-nod in recognition of guys. I do tend to compress my syllables.

I live in a house of all guys now [bar one] and it's quite common for us to great each other with "Uh."

I find my behaivour with women is much more emotive and comversational, plus usually less purile! Then I figure, I know that to be the case for everybody else I know. it's just easier to 'talk' to girls and actually say something worth hearing, and easier to chat rubbish with other guys and say stuff in jest that you completely don't mean that might make you sound like a jerk when taken out of context, but it's ok cause it's a guy thing.

I just love the endless video game conversations as well.

[Guest Kaz]

One of the things i've always noticed about myself is the way i move. I cross my legs sometimes but i also do the one ankle resting on opposite knee thing and the sitting with legs wide open thing (actually i noticed that more cos that's really ungirly and one of the reasons wearing dresses and skirts feels awkward.) My mum used to nag me all the time about stomping and not walking properly. I shove my hands in my pockets, hunch and sprawl and often talk in monosyllables.

I also talk with my hands, gossip, like chick flicks and spent a fair amount of evenings dressing up to go out clubbing with a bunch of girls. Its a simple fact that we are guys not only brought up as girls but in female bodies with female hormones etc. This is going to affect how we act. We have had experiences that no bio guy is ever going to have and they have shaped us. I really don't worry about how feminie/masculine i come across though at the mo i'm not trying to pass or anything (i have all that to look forward too ) But I know that inside i'm Kaz who is a guy but was born female

[Guest ChalenAustin]

I was raised to be so proper to the extent I'd probably put the queens youngest grandkids to shame.

And I figure skated on top of that so I had to be athletic AND over femme at the same time. think Sasha Cohen

I got the speach down- it's hard to discribe- I can only really do it when I don't feel pressured doing it.

Everything "guy" comes out of us when we act like our selves and embrace the things we've taken away from the male stereotype and work with the things that typically don't.

When I'm very self concious I get read as a girl in drag (ouch) or a gay dude.

When I'm just myself and in my zone I get read as a more femme guy some times- but unquestionably still straight (which I am).

Learning how to fight (I did ju jitsu) really helped just b/c it was something that gave me confidence that if something happened I could take care of it.

I think that alone has helped me so much b/c it forced me to put my guard down without me even knowing it- same for the speach.

Now as for as sitting with your legs apart- there's two main methods.

Sitting with your legs directly over your knees in a V shape or my main one.

Sitting with your feet not drastically far apart but with your knees hanging lossely out to the side.

I think the later is a more relaxed and confident posture (very unproper like too!)

However it also exposes your jumk more and to do the first one you're usually leaniing eiether really far back (it reads kinda punk to me) and leaning really far foreward probably with an arm lying bent over across your thigh (could be read any way depending on the situtation your using it for.

Preferrably you have something other than your leg to rest on!

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

Hi all:

Most important, when passing another male on the street just pretend that he's a strange dog on your territory.

Snarling and baring of the teeth is usually frowned on, but work on your scowl until you've got it down.

Of course you have to say something so that he'll know you're not intimidated.

Novices who don't know any better might say "Howdy, ho. How are you this fine morning?". That's right out.

The aim is to cut out as many syllables as possible. You might mumble "Morning", and if he responds "Mrn", you've just lost that encounter.

Waving or making any sign shows that you're a homosexual. You'd rather die than give anyone that impression even if you are.

You may want to nod your head a bit in passing, but you'll have to practice in front of a mirror for hours to achieve the exact minimal effect.

Urinating on fire hydrants is not really accepted, but does make a powerful statement.

Your whole body language is important, but when people start crossing the street to avoid you, you know you've arrived.

It's just great to be a guy.

Z.

Sorry, I hope my negativity isn't getting everyone down, but that's really the way it is.

I find that rahter offensive, being a bisexual, and gay acting, man.

[Guest ChalenAustin]

I know what you mean but depending where you live I think he was getting at how safe or unsafe that could be.

I'm already gonna get in trouble at this rate sooner or later!

I'm leaning on pan but I've been living in an ice box for too long to undo everything! (mannerisms-wise)

[Guest Jill Eclipse]

I cross my legs, but only because I'm sexy like that.

[Guest SanePsychotic]

After reading this thread I spent a lot of my day watching the guys at school (which makes me sound really creepy) and have come to the conclusion that I pretty much have very male mannerisms. This made me pretty happy.

[Guest My_Genesis]

After reading this thread I spent a lot of my day watching the guys at school (which makes me sound really creepy) and have come to the conclusion that I pretty much have very male mannerisms. This made me pretty happy.

lol I do that a lot too.

I do cross my legs though. I don't often see guys my age crossing their legs though.

Other than that, I too have noticed similar mannerisms between other guys and myself.

[Guest Lupi]

Heh, I've always been told off for doing 'un-lady like' things as long as I can remember. Eg. Sitting legs with legs wide, slouching, occasional spitting, the kind of 'anti-social' behaviour that is considered normal for men, generally 'sprawling' over seats, etc.

[KieranD]

To me I feel like it's all really dependent on culture. I'd also like to point out that male doesn't mean masculine.

[Guest Lupi]

To me I feel like it's all really dependent on culture. I'd also like to point out that male doesn't mean masculine.

True that.

Make up was something in particular I had trouble giving up, the eyeliner is all I have left. And I love it.

[Guest Eric6]

Some helpful stuff here, guys. I got told off by my mother for refusing a sandwich fork, would you believe? She said I'd need it for picking up the radishes and bits of tomato on the side of the plate. When I said no she moaned, "I wish you'd eat more delicately!" Then she blamed her long-ago boyfriend for being my very first bad example! :-) I couldn't help thinking she wouldn't have said anything to my brother.

Alex