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Playing As Your True Gender Online


Guest Kaze

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Guest Steven22

I wont lie I pretty much only play WoW except when i break away from it to play numerous games I don't particularly enjoy with friends. And I have a mix of genders because some of the graphics just look bad. But in retrospect I favor my female characters more. As for vent I don't use it, and I dont declare my gender and my name is usually ambiguous. But for adequately explored reason when people see the name "Plink" they always end up calling me "Pink" <_< And if they dont end up assuming I am a girl I get called gay. It becomes a coin toss at that point <_<

-Lauren

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Guest Charly

Years ago I used to play the extremely lame Flyff (I admit every once in a while I get the urge to start up again...I miss mmorpgs...) and had a male secondary character, but I didn't use him often and I just made him cause I already had a girl. Now I do a lot of other online rps, mostly forum-based things but also a couple text based mmorpgs. For the past three or four years, I have almost exclusively passed myself off as a guy online. I don't remember my train of thought when I first started this. I just made a guy character...and everybody assumed I was a guy...and I went with it. A few times I would make a separate character and be a girl, but it always felt weird and never lasted long. Pretty soon that character would just disappear and I'd be back to male.

I felt so guilty about it, too. Especially when I'd make the occasional friend. Even though it was over the internet and it's not like we were ever going to really meet and I never gave out personal info...I would talk to these people every day and they really believed I was a guy. So one day, a few years ago, I told somebody the truth after rping with her for quite a while. It wasn't long after that that we drifted apart and I drifted away from the site. She wasn't upset, I don't think, but things just felt worse between us, and I didn't feel any better.

But ever since I first started doing it, it's like I'm addicted to playing myself off as a guy whenever I'm online. I just do it automatically and nobody has ever questioned it. Even when I don't say anything about my gender and use an androgynous alias, I've never had anybody assume I was a girl.

And when I realized that I was a lot happier being a guy in cyberspace than I was being a girl in the real world, I became extremely depressed and went into a huge downward spiral that I'm still feeling the effects of as I struggle to pull back friends I pushed away, even years afterward. Since that low point, though, things have been getting better. I'm trying not to let myself feel guilty and ashamed, which occasionally is easier said than done.

I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to be online what is harder to convey in real life. (And I generally tell myself that half the people on the internet are also not being completely truthful and the other half is looking at porn ^_^)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Tammy Maher
I play guild wars. I'll post my username here when I remember what it is... but if anyone logs on there I'm currently at a low level due to not playing it so much.

I remembered my account name. I used Geni because I don't want to give out Janelle online.

So if anyone logs into guild wars (GOTY edition) Geni Chan is my name. I could be considered a noob, but I reall am not. My character is like Lv. 6 or 7. I had a character that was passed Lion's Arch, but he was deleted by my friend. :(

But yeah I have found it very much easier to play a female character rather than my tradition tank of a male character.

(^ _^)/

Janelle

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Robin Winter

Like some of the other responses here, I've *always* chosen a female character when the option was there. As long as I can remember. Console games, computer games, online, whatever.

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Guest Lizzie McTrucker

Depending on the character and how they look I may choose a male toon on WoW but the majority of the time they're female.

Also, I came out to the gay guys in my guild and also to the women in my guild via our website forum. I tried to keep it under wraps for the longest time and even changed some things on Facebook to not give anything away. I'm hoping the guys still don't know but I think some do as we do have a lot of married couples in our guild so if the wife knows...usually the husband knows.

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I play games, I tend to go towards female character. I do play male characters from time to time but I still prefer to play as a female character. Most of the times I'd get bored quickly when I played male characters. FFXI, Preferred Mithra (the race that was female only to player characters). WoW- I preferred my female blood elf paladin to my male troll mage. It was actually this fact that help me bring into light some other factors that led to me noticing my gender issue.

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Guest ChloëC

Now this has me thinking a lot. I have belonged to another site for over five years, and that site is set up to encourage one to take a character upon sign-up from about six different races and forces you to join one of the site's groups as a character from that group, and, if you want, take part in any number of RPG's that occur constantly (either that character or another you can temporarily select), or just general role play as your original character in any number of threads, actually much like here.

I signed up as a female, and have stayed in that persona for the entire time, and though some there may have a question or two (after almost 10,000 posts and becoming a low level admin for a short time, I think that's doing good!), I've been pretty much accepted that way, including becoming online friends with two women who met there (signing up about the same time as I did), who met in person and joined in a civil union about a year or so ago. They left the site at about that time. (we even exchanged snail mail).

During that time I also became involved in several discussion groups, and later, others emailed me privately wondering how I could stand such sexist verbal abuse at the hands of (I suppose) hard line males. I responded mostly demurring and saying I've learned to deal with it, and hopefully can help them by being considerate rather than forceful. Some (I assume) women have left the site over time because of that issue. If one stays only in the RPG's, one is fully accepted with no problem. Get into the discussion groups and it often gets into disagreements of which some have definite undertones of gender issues.

There are also threads that encourage poems and speculative fiction and I've contributed both (either non-gendered or with an obvious female persona), actually winning some small prizes (points that give special access), or at the least, encouragements.

It's a world wide site, open to anyone over age 12 (and I suspect it has included at times, prisoners in jails). Posting is not as monitored as closely as it is here, but the admins are pretty good at removing people's access if they consistently disobey the rules or admin requests to change.

However, I have decided that if I get the chance to visit Europe and/or south-east Asia, I will look up several specific people (those I had the most interaction with) and introduce myself.

I have at times thought about the possibility that there is a deception going on, but as the site encourages role playing, and I have never taken advantage nor asked for special consideration, I have decided that it at least borders on acceptable. Basically except for that one issue, I have been honest with everything else (work, family, education, etc), but one's personal life doesn't come up that often. Oh, I have been invited to visit several people (m and f) if I'm ever in their area. Fortunately, I never have been.

And the funny thing as I mentioned in a pinned thread here after I joined, is that here I'm doing basically the same thing, but you all know my physical/birth gender, but by using the name I do, even though I'm not a mtf, Laura's treats me as my selected gender. Yet, it's entirely different - on some level, which I'm not totally sure of yet.

Chloë

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  • Root Admin

I usually play Unreal T as a female avatar, and I also like to play the various Hidden Object games as the female character, where offered, but that's not online.

I joined IMFU or whatever it is for a while, as a sexy blonde female but ended up only getting invites from bots trying to sell credits or from people wanting to basically rape my avatar. Not what I joined for, so I've left that!

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last few weeks or so i've been playing habbo hotel as a girl, its abit corny but still fun to flirt as a girl

I used to play Habbo lol man that was ages ago. Drifted to rune scape and then IMV I think that's the name along with neo pets . I have a collecting things issue that I have not figured out how to break. Gaia, LotRo, WoW and now AION. I used to try playing female toons back before I came out. Online I have always been male going by the nick name Dragon, even with voice chat I would be deemed male. I just feel clearer playing who I am online. I have had maybe two incidents in my time with the net where things have gone sour. Once when someone who just kept pestering me about his love for me. =/ Told him the truth since I was going to the same convention he was and had seen my pictures again before going out IRL pre everything just bagging clothes and well me being me pictures. He went into the chat room to tell everyone, the yahoo crew I ran with did not take kindly to his behavior and he had pc issues. I knew him less then I knew the crew but they clearly did not have an issue with me being me as long as I followed the rules of our group.

The second time had to be in WoW though it was kind of weird by then I had been out for a year and a half IRL just not at work. Double lives stink and can stress anyone out. Instead of using the insults the other guy had he just insulted my being gay. I'm not I'm bi but the guildleader kicked him and posted what he had done on the guild site anyway it really is important that IRL information remains private.

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Guest MissAmy

I usually play as a girl if given the option in any game. The only one within recent memory was the first Star Wars KOTOR game. I played as a girl for KOTOR 2.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I game on xbl as Chris...and guys except me very easily. They except that I'm a guy. The problem I have with online gaming, is my voice. They guys always give me a hard time about it...because when I tell them I'm 22...they think I'm lying, they think I'm like 13 or 14...and every time I have to explain, about my voice, and that I'm in college, and all this extra stuff.

Eventually I give up and say, " Why would I have to lie to you about my age..we're playing a game...I don't need to pretend I'm older to play a game." And eventually, they gave it up, and they started to believe me...so now they hold up for me when other people give me a hard time. Xbl...where a guy can be a guy.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Steph70
I was my character from day two. I tried playing a male but could not pull it off.

I can't believe I have played this character for over 5 years.

myJedi.jpg

It did get out one time that I was trans and it was rather ugly..so I keep that under tight wraps now. She is the number 2 Jedi on her server with a weekly kill rate of 700 to 1000. Yes I PVP a lot.

OMG! Somebody actually still plays SWG?!?!?! I'm so angry they changed everything, but have so much invested, that I still keep my accounts(yes that's plural) active. I stop in once in a while, do the vendors mostly. My first MMO, and holds a dear place in my heart. Oh, and get back on topic, mostly male on MMO's and both male and female on offline games.

Stephanie :)

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I played a male warrior in WoW since release and changed to a female NE priest when the last expansion hit and could never go back while I don't hide me being a guy in my own secret way I just enjoy playing as a female even if most know I'm a guy.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest sixeaside

On all the games i have played that you can like choose which gender, i have always choosen a male character.

I don't really think it is lying if you feel that you are a different gender mentally than you are physically.

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Guest Alexander James

The first time I played online games I was always male, but I would make a female character for magic and to just look cute lol

I would always change my name though, since back then I didn't have a male name I like a lot.

Thing is... playing as male, some females would start to like me a bit too much and while I'm totally okay with that... I'm not to into girls -_____-;;; Unless their character was cute then we can get married online lol

So, I would play as my female characters for guys to talk to me more....

I know... T____T it's horrible...

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Guest harvester52

I have done this since I was about nine years old, when my family first got a computer. I was always a guy in chat rooms, my profiles were always male, and when I discovered text-based roleplay, every single one of my characters were male until I had to create a female character specifically for a game that needed the role. Granted, the few female characters I've made are extremely butch and might as well be transguys. XD

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Guest Cerulean

I always use a female avatar when playing games online. I feel much more comfortable doing that, and it feels good to be regularly referred to in the female pronoun online, even if I can't have that in the real world just yet.

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Guest SuperKali

I used to play EverQuest (PC). I played for about 4 years, I originally started as a male Dark Elf. I played that way for a week and changed to a female Dark Elf. This was also the same time that I decided on my female name. It was amazing to play for so long as who I am. That's also probably why I was so addicted to it.

(YAY!! Opening up already!!)

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Guest Donna Jean
I used to play EverQuest (PC). I played for about 4 years, I originally started as a male Dark Elf. I played that way for a week and changed to a female Dark Elf. This was also the same time that I decided on my female name. It was amazing to play for so long as who I am. That's also probably why I was so addicted to it.

(YAY!! Opening up already!!)

You're getting the hang of it now, Girlfriend!

I have two female voices in my Flight Simulator that I use....Love that.."Girls can fly!"

Huggs

Donna Jean

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Guest Larson

In middle school, I was active on a discussion board for an author's website and, during a Q&A, the author himself mistook me for a young gay male. It was probably the best day of my life and I've adopted my true gender and sexuality on every internet forum/game since.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Maelee

Ever since everquest I have played female characters in MMO's, unless the class required a certain gender (like warhammer). In EQ I never did tell my guild I was biologically male and they accepted me as female (dark elf enchanter). In WoW I know at least one of my guild mates thought I was biologically female till we started using vent. She sounded a bit shocked the first time she heard my voice. She had been telling me about guy problems she was having and about her divorce, etc. It might seem deceitful but I am female, just not biologically.

Eventually I ended up in one of the top 2 raiding guilds on my server in WoW. My guild never called people by their real life names, most everyone kept that fairly close. Everyone just referred to me as Mae on vent and I loved that so much (my char name was Maeyet). It might be a bad reason to chose that as my name but I made me so happy to have people call me by that name. Eventually due to work, I was unable to raid anymore so pretty much quit playing WoW since the only fun part left anymore was the socializing with friends and raiding.

Now I don't play on any online games, since dial-up pretty much keeps that from happening.

Love and *hugs*

Mae

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Guest Blindheart

ooo i like this thread even tho it looks a bit old, its still kicking a bit lol

the only MMO i've really played was the original Everquest. (did a beta test of FFIX and test a account on SWG but i never had money available to play them for keeps). i really thought about making my character female right from the start, but i was worried what my family would think if they caught me playing as a girl character so i went with the plain old male human. i managed just fine and this character has really become my 2nd persona really and being the most ideal version of myself possible. i use the name everywhere now including here. once i started to slowly change female in Real life i didn't feel i match my character much any more, though i did find a Unicorn to ride and some illusions to hide behind like a Fairy and Siren that got a lot of attention from people, though they just thought i was wierd. I did take a few years off from the game when work kinda took over my life and i really thought i had moved on.

I started playing again last year and wow did i feel different. i looked at this character and it was not me anymore. i still had my illusions and i had collected a few more from some random playing i did when i had free time to say hi. But it all just felt like hiding to me at that point and i considered just leaving for good. Fortunately they added in some permanent gender change potions (i had been hoping for years just to have a gender illusion item) and i think i was first in line to make a change that day. needless to say i was center of attention for awhile and finally came out online as TG, with all positive results.

now i have been using them to work on my voice through various voice chats. everyone says my voice is fine and they don't think its sounds male at all, i disagree but i'm way to hard on myself. i have met a few new people in voice chat who i never met till just recently who i doubt knew anything at all about my real gender and they accepted me as female easily enough as well.

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Guest Valerie_LeeAnn

For me it has varied:

EQ- Male and Female characters, especially for RP. Yay Fennin Ro! ROL GRATUL SKORCHERS! (Might get it if you played back then, waaay back then.)

EQII- Same.

WoW- Same.

Aion- However, I only have played females. Plus on RPGs for the 360 I have only played Females, unless I have to romance a certain individual for an acheivement, and they are not into the same sex relationship :lol:

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    • Abigail Genevieve
      Rants are not a problem.  My favorite hobby! :)   What's out there is bad enough that I wonder why some people feel they need to embellish it.  Be alert.   Some of this will need to be fought in court if they try to implement it. If people are out to get me, paranoia is justified.  And this may not be the only document.   Abby
    • Ivy
      Not in so many words, therefore it's not there at all.  Excuse my paranoia. And the states passing laws against us are nothing to worry about either. Having to change my gender back to male (like in Florida) is reasonable.  I should just accept it, I mean I was born with a dk.  So that "F" is lie, and a fraud.  My delusions need to be dealt with for my own good.   I'm just frustrated these days.  Just a bit of a rant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You probably remember the Target PR fiasco.  I remember reading an account from a woman who shopped there.  She went into a stall and did her business, and someone came into the bathroom and began swinging stall doors open, and when she came to her stall, the woman peeked at her through the crack. "What are you doing?" "Checking for perverts." The writer was so stunned by the absurdity that she finished up ASAP and got out of there, while the other woman entered a stall and locked it, made sure it was locked, and locked it again. 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been a good day.Cleaned my closet of clothes that I do not wear anymore and do not fit me.It looks better now.Came down to my newest property beside mine,owner passed and I inherited it.There was a double wide there that was removed,it was in bad shape.It is the shop part I am keeping which I got the tools,shop equipment,benches,hoists and shelving too.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Nothing about eradicating TG folk. 
    • Ivy
      If 9 out of 10 parts are ok, that doesn't mean I need to accept the bad parts (that are aimed directly at me).  That seems suicidal.
    • Ivy
      True, most of it has nothing to do directly with us.  It's the parts that do that are the problem.   I see the  few problematic statements as being a big problem.  Just because a lot of it may be okay, doesn't change that. Even supposing the rest of it might be good for the country, it doesn't help me if I'm being "eradicated".  I suppose I should be good with that, because it's for the "greater good".  If me being gone would please a number of people, then it's my civic duty to disappear, and vote to implement that.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  There are already laws against assault.  I don't think the overwhelming majority of trans women have any desire to harass cis women.  Speaking for myself, if I go into a women's washroom, it's because my eyeballs are already floating - not for kicks.  And I worry about getting clocked and assaulted by some guy being a "hero."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Only three, maybe four, sections even mention transgender.  Most is a conservative agenda I have no problem with.   In the sections that mention transgender, there are very few lines.  Those lines ARE problematic, in every case. Unequivocally.  I can't see some of them standing up in court.  In one case a recommended policy goes against a court decision, which strongly suggests the implementation of that policy would be stopped in court.    Anyone maintaining that this is written simply to support Trump, to support him becoming a dictator, to crush transgender people is feeding you a line.  Nor is it an attempt to erase transgender people.   People will have to decide if the overall goals are worth the few problematic statements.  Overall, I support it.  Of course, I have some reservations.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It is unfamiliar, therefore threatening.   For 90% or so of the population, gender id can be simply and quickly determined by a quick anatomical observation.  They have no understanding and cannot imagine what it would mean to have a body different from the id.  It is unimaginable.  Therefore, wrong.   So there is this strong headwind.   I haven't entered this discussion, but here is a script: A: I can't imagine what it must be to have TG. B: You're a man, right? A: Well, of course. "amused" B: Imagine you were required by law and custom to wear women's clothing all the time. A: It wouldn't happen. B: Okay, but for the sake of the argument... A: That would be disgusting.  I would be very uncomfortable. B: You have it.  That is what TG people go through all the time. 24-7-365. A: Really? B: And then they are told they are perverts for having those feelings.  The same you just described. A: I see. B: And someone comes along and tells you you need conversion therapy so you will be comfortable wearing women's clothing all the time. A: I think I would break his nose. B: You understand transgender folk better than you think.
    • EasyE
      I have found some people correlate TG = child predator ... just as some have correlated homosexual = child predator...    I am baffled by the TG = unsafe connection ... my wife tends to think this way, that this is all about sexual deviancy ... I try to ask how my preference for wearing frilly socks with embroidered flowers and a comfortable camisole under my lavender T-shirts is sexually deviant (or sexual anything) but I don't get very far... 
    • EasyE
      Best wishes to you as you take this step ... many blessings to you! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not sure.  The perp is a minor.  The problem here is NOT transgender, the problem here is incompetent and criminal administration.  See https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/family-of-loudoun-co-student-sexually-assaulted-ineptitude-of-all-involved-is-staggering/3231725/ It is more than annoying that people think the problem here is TG and that other people think the solution is some stupid statewide law.  Like an appendectomy to deal with an ingrown toe nail.    Since Loudon, I recall a boy was asked not to use the girl's restroom at a high school by one of the girls.  He, overwhelming her with height and weight,  assaulted her, claiming he had a right to be there.   Later I think eight girls beat him severely in another girl's restroom.  Again the problem is not transgender, the problem is assaults in restrooms and common courtesy.  TG is used as a smokescreen and it seems to paralyze thought among administrators who do not want to do anything to provoke controversy.
    • VickySGV
      Time to get with your Primary Care doctor and be referred to a neurologist or an orthopedist.  It could be many things, too many for any of us here to guess at. 
    • Mmindy
      Other than the Boy Scout motto, oath, and law. I use two:   When asked how I'm doing? In all honesty I reply. I would have to make something up to complain. If asked to explain further: I reply. I know someone is having a tougher time than I am, and I pray God blesses them.   I also recite this quote that I have tagged in my signature: Courage, doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."-Unknown    Saying these things daily keep me motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
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