Erm, Have You Ever Liked Your Male Body?

[Guest Pól]

Not just no, h--- no.

[Guest Rosie2012]

I'm really ashamed of my body, and I really hate my male parts... I'd also never date myself because I'm not my type.

[Guest angie]

I had a terrible body image problem as my old self.

And why I was such a compulsive body builder.I had rippling defined muscle,head to toe.

But I couldn't see it.I was always pushing a little bit harder,lift more weight more often.

I would yoyo from thinking I was skinny,and pounding the iron.To thinking I was too big,

and avoiding the weights for six months or so,in a continual never ending revolution.

It was my mind rebeling against the man I was having to present to the world.I didn't wear

body hugging styles,I wore loose fitting clothes to hide my size and shape.Didn't and don't

care for my sexual organs,was never driven like other guys with what's below their belt.

Angie

[Guest My_Genesis]

Physically- definitely

Mentally- never

I would be the first to drive myself crazy

Jean Davis

lol

[Guest Cait]

I often thought I was attractive as a Male, and people would call me "pretty boy".

Some "gangster type" acted like he was going to hit me with a piece of ice from his drink yesterday.

So, I guess for whatever reason I just never appeared as my own age. I still look to be in my youth, although i guess

31 is youth!!

Anyway, I have experienced times of thinking I was a "cute boy" but being very shy and not having people skills

in conjunction with my over bearing Mother and distant Father I just never developed enough aggressive Characteristics

to function properly as a man-child.

I was a sickly child and probably always have viewed myself as "flawed"

Certainly the kids teased me a bit out of proportion (the little brats) and still people think I'm a "boy" and want to throw the

contents of their drinks on me as I ride down the street. ( I live in the bad part of town)

People actually still tease me and threaten to beat me up under the assumption i'm a teenager

this makes college interesting in being the oldest in English 111 and looking so young--on the plus side

I don't look out of place at school ---I have to hang out with the freshmen though!

So, I often wondered why girls never found me attractive...I think it is because I always looked so young...I can remember

so many times how girls eyes just passed me by in the Mall and school.

In my early twenties I seemed to attract some high School girls, but I found that to be more than a little insulting, to be honest.

So, in summary, I thought sometimes I was an ok Guy, but more and more from my mid-teens until now I felt more and more

Female inside.

I don't think I go out of my way to act like a Female and still manage to mostly attract men and all.

Alot of people have called me Gay most of my adult life so, I guess it played a role in how I viewed myself.

It sort of ultimately made me feel I must be mixed up some how, and that it wasn't strictly in my mind that I felt Female.

I thought my body might be nice for someone else probably...I don't know that I've ever had a lover that didn't choose me first.

So, just being passive by nature kind of made me the submissive type---and I had no childhood cordination and all.

(clumsy clumsy pretty BOY)

I ran like a girl and walked like a girl---I have really been ganged up on to have put up with so many people.

I perhaps thought life would easier being Female as i was getting beat up alot until 15 or so, and I figured it would be looked down upon

if i was Female. I couldn't fight at all at the time. And I always just felt my body was out of preportion and just so WRONG.

I have a touch of Body Dysmorphic Disorder and used to never leave home and have lots of rituals.

Eventually most of that has gone away with age, well..I don't care how I look in regards to perceived character flaws...or whatever was bothering me

I can't say I've done alot of "sexualizing" my own body---most of the last say, 12 years I have cross-dressed and removed all my body hair

and self-visualized my self as Female. So, I guess I can appreciate my male body as i'm somewhat of an athlete, but I am a horrible

date in the long run as I think my body is deformed and can't figure out why anyone would be attracted to me---

I feel I am a horribly ugly person , but it possibly isn't true---I feel more dirty and hurt inside and just feel "unlovable"

People tell me I have lots of good qualities, but I guess if you hate yourself...not much can change your mind?

I have learned with age not to be so hard on myself...I think i've cried every day this week just out of various grief factors.

Your born with the body your born with, even if you switch it around , your still YOU.

i've discovered the person I am inside is more important to me these days than physical beauty.

People like my new hair but I hate it--so who knows what is attractive and what is not?

I've often thought I was somehow mixed up between two words...

I honestly sometimes feel male and female and somewhat Asexual

but I view SRS most of the time as choosing a side, as I don't like being a Man--or BOY I guess that is more accurate!

and view being Female as more akin to my personality.

I'm much better at dating men and only don't do more because I was raised in a religious home.

I find it more relaxing to have Male partners and they seem to enjoy my humour and "entertainment qualities"

more, and that is not sexual--i am a comedian, even though I have so much grief and depression.

comedians are the saddest people, it really is true!

Love yourself where ever you may be

Cait

[Guest angie]

Hey Sugar,

Just because you change the body to fit the mental image of who

you know you are....Does it mean you have to Choose Sides.

You can,like many of our sisters do,choose to be a non op.

That way you can find happiness with your body image and you

are still you.Just The Real You.

Transition doesn't not necessarily mean SRS/GRS that is up to the

individual woman.

Big Ol Hugs Woman!

Angelique

[Guest My_Genesis]

LOL! Oh the straight boys, they are strange creatures to me even though I have a body just like theirs. hehe If I woke up in a female body one day, I would scream because.... I HAVE NO FEMALE CLOTHES!!!!!!!!! And only some makeup but not much! I would grab my wallet and go straight to the mall!!! I just cannot wait at all to go shopping in my real body, buying clothes and stuff I was meant to buy all along!!! *dreams* not long to go though!

I've never heard that, lol, I've just heard from other people here a lot of straight guys have that kind of response if you tell them you're trans.

That being said... idk about bio-guys, but I don't think I would go that far.

[Guest LightNebula]

I get the feeling, too, but it occurs very, very, very rarely. It feels so weird.

[Guest Cait]

"Transition doesn't necessarily mean SRS/GRS that is up to the

individual woman."

That makes me feel alot better.

I have found a surgeon who I probably could afford, for SRS, in time I could. It's not quite as expensive as I thought---so it's not impossible

to afford.

I was looking for Orchidectomy Doctors, and he seems more expensive but all my "advisors" don't want me to have this procedure done

even though I am miserable being this way. The Irony of this situation means I'll most likely keep taking Hormones as this is the most

Peace of Mind I've had in a long time. I just don't view SRS as my ulitmate goal in life as I'm going through alot in life and can't truly

be with anyone romantically anymore. Once my last relationship failed I kind of see being with another person as a waste of time.

I like having friends and being friendly though and feel finding a good middle ground for myself is what I need to do at this time.

(to not be depressed and sad 24/7)

It gets hard being alone and I hope I can move to another area of the country where things could be different.

I'm glad to know other people aren't exactly A or B.

I've felt for the longest time that I'm not really Male or Female---

(I would say i had body image problems, but most of THOSE folks are worried about non-gender specific issues)

I am seeking alternative ways to live without SRS, but I'm not sure what i'll do

If I had the money I'd probably just have SRS now.

So, maybe being in limbo is a good time to figure out what to do and how to live?

At this time I'm happy to have Hormones and my health is very good my doctor says, so I guess this is

my situation for the next 5 years, I probably would have gotten an Orchidectomy by then, but I think the stuff

I went through growing up makes me feel I'm not "good enough" or "too emotional" to be with anyone.

So SRS is actually only a cosmetic procedure to me, as I'm just not in an area to meet anyone---

I can't even ride down the street now...

it occurs to me that alot of these Gang Bangers are always in and out of Prison, and in fact may be Gay.

Maybe they secretly like me?

they would never admit to this---they just keep going back to prison and hanging out with each other all the time.

Caitlin (drink coaster, internet blogger)

[Guest angie]

"Transition doesn't necessarily mean SRS/GRS that is up to the

individual woman."That makes me feel alot better.

I was looking for Orchidectomy Doctors, and he seems more expensive but all my "advisors" don't want me to have this procedure done even though I am miserable being this way.

Caitlin (drink coaster, internet blogger)

Caitlin,

Many women get so much relief from an Orchi,that the want/need for surgery can be less immediate.As the T factory is removed,there comes a deep calm.Therefore allowing a girl

to move on,adjust more completely into her new role.Then,if she feels she must complete herself,she is truly ready,emotionally,financially and relationship wise.It is up to YOU to decide

if an Orchi is in your future,not your(advisors).Only you will know what will make you really truly happy.SRS/GRS is not the cure all,it is the final destination for some of us.While for some,it isn't a

part of their future.

Hugs To You,

Angie

[Guest Rachel Collins]

Oh, my!

I think that it would be interesting to be with my male body as my female self....

I mean, Each would know exactly how to please the other!

Oh the possibilities!

Oh my God.........

Oh My!

Donna Jean

lol, getting turned on donna? ive never really liked myself as a guy, but i am sexually attracted to men.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Id not want to date me, after all I know all the dirty lil secrets I have and that might just scare me

[Guest Sara N]

Ever sexually attracted to myself? Nope, for one obvious reason, I’m attracted to girls

(Well I do question that a bit, but for the most part in real life terms, I’m attracted to

females).

So now to flip the question a bit. Would I be sexually attracted to my transitioned self?

Well that’s kinda hard to answer when I don’t know what I would look like, but the

answer I’m thinking is overall no. I guess the idea of being with myself is just too

strange. I just don’t think I’ll see myself as someone available to me.

Interestingly enough this topic had a strange effect on me. I spent a little time in

front of the mirror looking at my face trying to portray myself in a male sense and

female sense. Well the thing is, I had to force a male image on me, and even more

so, I just started cracking up with laughter every time I did it . Also the female image

came naturally.

Well that effect wore off now that I saw my entire body in the mirror . Nice while it lasted.

~Sara

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Hey Sugar,

Just because you change the body to fit the mental image of who

you know you are....Does it mean you have to Choose Sides.

You can,like many of our sisters do,choose to be a non op.

That way you can find happiness with your body image and you

are still you.Just The Real You.

Transition doesn't not necessarily mean SRS/GRS that is up to the

individual woman.

Big Ol Hugs Woman!

Angelique

If my bank account would allow it then yes I would have the surgery in a heart beat... but since that isnt likely... I will be content to present female with my own boobs.... It feels so good to be fully out and not having to be what's his name anymore.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Caitlin,

Many women get so much relief from an Orchi,that the want/need for surgery can be less immediate.As the T factory is removed,there comes a deep calm.Therefore allowing a girl

to move on,adjust more completely into her new role.Then,if she feels she must complete herself,she is truly ready,emotionally,financially and relationship wise.It is up to YOU to decide

if an Orchi is in your future,not your(advisors).Only you will know what will make you really truly happy.SRS/GRS is not the cure all,it is the final destination for some of us.While for some,it isn't a

part of their future.

Hugs To You,

Angie

If my shrink hadnt have given the ok for hormones.. he might have had an orchi at my hands... 

[Guest Nigh]

No, I always viewed my male side as something like a brother; looks like me, shares a lot of similar characteristics, but isn't me.

I think it actually made it harder to realize I was a guy, because I liked the way I looked, and it took me a long time to figure out that it was only on a superficial level. I'd look at myself in the mirror and think, "Man, if only I could give this body to someone else. What a waste." I can be attracted to it only in the way that I might be attracted to someone else. What makes it weirder is that I'm usually more attracted to men.

That really resounds with me by the way. I almost decided not to start transititioning because I thought it would be disrespectful to myself to possibly ruin my good looks.

[Guest Tammy Maher]

I haver never liked my sexual self. That means I would never want to have sex with anyone girl or guy as I am without SRS. However knowing I am a girl changes things to say if I had been born a girl (different person) and saw this body (who I currently am) walking around, yes I would probably go have sex with myself (kind of weird I know.) I know I have said this, but after SRS and I'm finally free, I am sexually attracted to girls/females/women, but that would not make me closed minded towards guys and FTMs. Currently I despise my physical parts, even if I miss out on a lot of opportunities in life I will be a happier person knowing I can be myself. So as a sexually summed up I'm and Lesbian/bi-curious female trapped inside this ugly shell of a man.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

No, I always viewed my male side as something like a brother; looks like me, shares a lot of similar characteristics, but isn't me.

That really resounds with me by the way. I almost decided not to start transititioning because I thought it would be disrespectful to myself to possibly ruin my good looks.

LOL speaking of having one's male side be like a brother, my GF (and former SO) Lynn and I when she gets the name an pronouns wrong, I will make the joke "you must be thinking of my brother again." she usually replies "he and I were together xx years it is a bit hard." It actually feels good to know someone else thinks of their male self that way, but now I am trying (to a good point succeeding) to push that part of me totally into the past. I still wear some of his tshirts but not sure how much longer that will happen, Ive not worn male underwear for nearly 6 months, its time for that purge sale, get rid of the male things.. they only soak up valuable room in my closet.

[Guest krisspykriss]

It is common for cross dressers to get turned on by their own appearance when dressed. So I could see that happening to a transgendered person, just in the opposite way. I never get turned on by myself, but I would date me. I never liked to see my refection in the mirror growing up. Now, I am getting used to it and have trouble seeing myself in the mirror when I am dressed because I still look male and it makes me feel like I am failing to pass. It irritates me. My male self is much better looking. It would be so much easier to just be gay. I would get more vanilla dates too.

[Guest Tammy Maher]

"Man, if only I could give this body to someone else. What a waste."

If science finds a way let me know I'll sign up first.

[Guest amie]

Nope!

[Guest My_Genesis]

I haver never liked my sexual self. That means I would never want to have sex with anyone girl or guy as I am without SRS.

Yeah that's me, except a few years ago when I was just very confused... what I described before was the case (though even then there was something that felt weird and off about the whole thing...)

Now... no. Even if I "saw myself walking around", as has been said by others already, I'm not my type. lol. I'm not feminine enough

[Guest amie]

I've found I'm more of a sexual provider...and the impression I've recieved tells me I need a lotta work at that. Boo, huh?

Ah well. Most people dig it and it's somethin' you do cause you wanna provide for them for making you feel so nice inside. Life is exchange.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

It is common for cross dressers to get turned on by their own appearance when dressed. So I could see that happening to a transgendered person, just in the opposite way. I never get turned on by myself, but I would date me. I never liked to see my refection in the mirror growing up. Now, I am getting used to it and have trouble seeing myself in the mirror when I am dressed because I still look male and it makes me feel like I am failing to pass. It irritates me. My male self is much better looking. It would be so much easier to just be gay. I would get more vanilla dates too.

Kriss would that we all looked as male as you... ghods woman you look mahvelous.... hugs GF

[Guest 1Char]

Curling a woman's toes. Now, that DOES work for me. From both sides!

Allison

Ik what u mean! Lol. I second this statement

hugz, Char