Letting Go Of Bad Habits

[Guest angie]

I was recently with a couple of gg's I know.

They were complaining about their brothers and fathers habits.

Such as:Blowing their nose outside,covering one nostril and blowing,

hawking and spitting,adjusting themselves in public,and picking their noses.

Oh God,I used to do that,all of the above.I know how gross.lol

It was many years of being around nothing but manly men,where this is

an accepted way of life.Since transition,I no longer have those nasty habits.

I guess it was telling myself that girls don't do that sort of thing Ang.

And learning to not do them any more,until it became habit.

How many of you had to break old manly ways as you became a woman?

Wondering,

Angie

[Guest AllisonD]

Manners, poise, perhaps decorum is the right word, have always been important to me. Doing the things you mentioned would be like deliberately stepping in dog poo. Not to be considered.

Allison

[Guest April63]

Wait, so women have to blow their noses inside? And they have to blow both nostrils at the same time?

I think I'm missing something.

[Guest angie]

Manners, poise, perhaps decorum is the right word, have always been important to me. Doing the things you mentioned would be like deliberately stepping in dog poo. Not to be considered.

Allison

Ah,apparently you never had to project the image of a macho manly man.

While I had many men working under me for many years in an all male environment.Both my brother inlaws do,their father did,and most men do.So,being one of the guys, is what other men

do around each other.Without any thought of how nasty it is to women folk.But,I am no longer

(one of the guys),haven't been in a long long time.So what I may have done in my past,is not what I do as my real self.I am a Lady.

Angie

[Guest Evan_J]

Wait, so women have to blow their noses inside? And they have to blow both nostrils at the same time?

I think I'm missing something.

Now that is the best humor I think I've seen out of you in a long time. Good one

Good points are being made in this thread though as to how peeps get (at times) shoved into behaviors that not only "aren't them " but even contrary to what they actually find natural for anybody.

You know what I love? I love when you see a bunch of fellas doing everything but a handstand (scratchin places, adjusting whatever, hawking all over the place.....) and one old guy will come along and ask all of em what the hell they think they're doing

Favorite recent anecdote? I was at the barbershop and a young person (20's) came in and joined in the conversation between two guys already there. While he spoke, he consistently grabbed himself and held himself and everything else with himself to posture and profile the machoness. Finally, the owner (mid 40's?) says, "you know, you can grab it all you want to, gold is never gonna shoot outta that m.f.er" LOL Haircut? 12 bucks. Moment? A million dollars.

Good for you though Allison (and a bit of luck for being outside of a coercing environment ) for being one who managed not to live through that.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hardest habit to break in my girl mode? Whistling a tune.

Second hardest - expectorating (look it up) in any form in public.

Easiest? Punching my fist through the drywall when really mad.

Second easiest? Bandaging my damaged hand because i accidently hit a wall stud when punching my fist through the drywall.

You asked!

Lizzy

[Guest Paula :)]

swearing. i was exceptionally good at it!

i have to say after having a more appropriately estrogen laden brain, i'm really very offended by it. and it's not a conscious thing at all ... i don't ever think 'oh, i'm a girl now, so i must be offended by this'. it's like being a casual observer of hormonal behaviour changes.

while visiting some friends yesterday, a neighbour of theirs called in for a coffee. she's very 'salt of the earth' let's say, and every second word was F this and F that. And the C word was peppered through there as well.

i found myself cringing.

paula (Y)

[Guest April63]

Now that is the best humor I think I've seen out of you in a long time. Good one

Dude, I was being serious! I'm missing something!

Wow, Lizzy punches walls? I didn't know you were such an angry creature

[Guest AllisonD]

Ah,apparently you never had to project the image of a macho manly man.

While I had many men working under me for many years in an all male environment.Both my brother inlaws do,their father did,and most men do.So,being one of the guys, is what other men

do around each other.Without any thought of how nasty it is to women folk.But,I am no longer

(one of the guys),haven't been in a long long time.So what I may have done in my past,is not what I do as my real self.I am a Lady.

Angie

Of course you are correct, I was out long before I might otherwise have been tempted, or coerced, into being a boy's boy. But even so, without trying to sound prissy, polite beats disgusting every time. I would have thought that was true even for men but I stand corrected.

I wonder if my presence, even as a femme boy, served as a moderating influence on such behavior when I was around. I recall seeing such things, but infrequently, and not when I was anywhere near. I am aware that a woman can have such an influence on a group of men.

Donna just stopped by to see what I am doing, I showed her this thread. She explains, "I do that."

"You do not!"

"Sure I do, when I am out working in the yard and you aren't around."

So I definitely stand corrected.

By the way, Donna really is here and she really did just say that.

Allison

[Guest angie]

Donna just stopped by to see what I am doing, I showed her this thread. She explains, "I do that."

"You do not!"

"Sure I do, when I am out working in the yard and you aren't around."

So I definitely stand corrected.

By the way, Donna really is here and she really did just say that.

Allison

LOL Allison,that was a good way to end your post.

Angie

[Guest N. Jane]

swearing. i was exceptionally good at it!

ROFL!

Sweetie, I transitioned young and spent a lot of years afterward working with men. When I went to an office job, it was HARD to clean up my language!

It isn't a "gender thing" as much as it is "a culture thing"!

[Carolyn Marie]

Finally, the owner (mid 40's?) says, "you know, you can grab it all you want to, gold is never gonna shoot outta that m.f.er" LOL Haircut? 12 bucks. Moment? A million dollars.

I'm still laughing five minutes later! That's one to remember. Thanks, Evan.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest AllisonD]

ROFL!

Sweetie, I transitioned young and spent a lot of years afterward working with men. When I went to an office job, it was HARD to clean up my language!

It isn't a "gender thing" as much as it is "a culture thing"!

This is quite true. Even I have struggled with this particular habit a little, after working as a contractor with the Navy for 30 years. I have learned words that I wish I had never heard.

Allison

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Wow, Lizzy punches walls? I didn't know you were such an angry creature

Yes - when male I wasn't very stable. I had a huge amount of anger - HUGE! I was not happy at all.

That is probably one of the major reasons I wanted to transition.

Transition has made me lose the anger. And the HRT helps now. Sighhhhhh....

So much better!

Elizabeth

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I have no idea if anyone else did this in their former (male) life; I have noticed that when I go to a buffet type restaurant I no longer load the plate to its maximum capacity, now I would rather make several trips and return with a more reasonable portion, and usually a better nutritionally balanced portion too.

[Guest angie]

I have no idea if anyone else did this in their former (male) life; I have noticed that when I go to a buffet type restaurant I no longer load the plate to its maximum capacity, now I would rather make several trips and return with a more reasonable portion, and usually a better nutritionally balanced portion too.

That is exactly how I eat at a buffet now also.And I don't eat near as much either.

Of course,living with my mother inlaw for two years helped curb my appetite a great deal.

Though she hated the thought of my coming woman,she would get on me about my size versus portion,to eat healthly and to eat much slower.I fill up easy now,and stop when I feel full.

Angie

[Guest angie]

Wow, Lizzy punches walls? I didn't know you were such an angry creature

Yes - when male I wasn't very stable. I had a huge amount of anger - HUGE! I was not happy at all.

That is probably one of the major reasons I wanted to transition.

Transition has made me lose the anger. And the HRT helps now. Sighhhhhh....

So much better!

Elizabeth

I had an inner rage also.Never at my loved ones,but I could explode,with the body weight to back it up.Mine I think was from being aware of my true self very young, and the life I chose to live for the next thirty years.Since transition and living life honestly as my real self,the rage is gone.And that dear sisters, is a gooood thing.I didn't like that part of me at all.

Big Hugs,

Angie

[Guest Cait]

I have less Anger and often am left with a "perplexed and thoughtful" feeling when I see something that used to would make me

Angry.(it is AWESOME to feel more mellow and relaxed, I don't have as much depression anymore--but get emotional

WAY faster and cry almost every day even if it's just a few tears while laying in bed thinking.

My best new attribute was thinking Beer was nasty and switching to Wine, and then quitting alcohol completely.

(i was a big drinker)

I also did curse alot to appear Macho or more Male, and don't like to curse as much,or at all anymore . more thoughtful about speaking to people

and I find Men MUCH MORE sexually atttractive. (maybe even enough to hit on them)?

I still eat alot at buffets , but with my diet, it often is my first meal of the day.

I only eat two meals a day!

{ as a side note: I recently read where some of the new Psychiatric drugs are Hormones without the side-effects

"Selective hormonal Reuptake $cash$ producers"...or something like that }

anyway, I think these yahoos saw our great results and are cashing in on it!

(can't wait to see if this scheme works for them or not, I only say that as I have permanent twitching from

the "safer than milk" stuff I was on ...and the numerous torture like symptoms I had for years---not to mention I have no self-esteem

and think I'm not a real person anymore after my years of Psychiatric treatment and make no secret of my intense dislike of ALL

Psychaitry linked to the "Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex."

As a side note to anyone who has an opinion;

As a youth I was diagnosed with behavioral and learning problems.

I was given Ritalin and Prozac

when that didn't help I was given years

of anti-psychotic drugs

my question is : I have seen point blank some of these SAME drugs make young boys grow breasts.

Is it possible that these drugs have changed my brain chemistry and body in a way to make me feel Transgendered or

even more Transgendered than without them?

I view this as a legitamate question and have been told they absolutely have abused me and it would be

a factor in any "psychological display of anti-social behavior"

although i'm not angry at people and don't want to lash out at society or Doctors---although i reserve the right to make fun

of them

sorry for my bad spelling and sentence structure...i try to communicait!!

Caitlin (think of the savings)

[Sally]

I am working on controling my anger, I stopped punching walls a long time ago but I am trying to stop yelling in traffic and feeling so much rage.

I hope that the hormones will help just because they will help me to realize that I am making progress.

I still have that tendency to go to an "all you can eat" buffet and consider it a challenge.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Cait]

Hormones certainly make the nerves more calm.

I've never had this much inner peace--although I am more of a Spiritual person the older I get.

( I have a Christian belief system, but they mostly don't like me...so it is more of a "personal journey"

as Religious people in general don't like Transgendered persons--I've found ONE who will talk to me without judging me

and I'm pretty happy, given the vast number of religious people who are not shy in letting me know i'm going to Hell

or whatever they decide within the few moments before they get offended at me---

--very few are understanding of people who are different)

I still have some anger...but I mainly feel "frustration feelings"...the stress of wanting to be in the right body.

I saw my doctor yesterday and he seemed sad I take Hormones---but other than Klonopin---which I don't really like,

Hormones do FAR more for my mood than any type of DRUG ever did, in the sense I am not sedated and enjoying my life AND

trying to better myself through sobriety and school.

It seems every alternative I've ever found to psychaitry offends them, what is wrong with Doctors?

He said if everyone lived the way I did they'd go out of business!

( i always have good blood work)

So I guess they NEED sick people to keep them going?

Just seems they used to be in the business of helping cure people .

As much as my transgendered actions may cause me not to get a proper job---i'm still glad I'm ME and don't have to pretend to be something I'm

not---if people don't like me, it is because of ME.

People just don't take responsibility for their own actions.

(or allow other's to make their own choices, creating a false sense that you are in control of your own life, but

no one from above who steps on you is at fault for it---like Insurance Companies who won't pay when you get

sick and they OWE you)

We should be rewarded for all Transgendered people go through to feel normal.

I don't think other people have to try as hard!!!

Caitlin (highly opinionated)

[Guest angie]

I am working on controling my anger, I stopped punching walls a long time ago but I am trying to stop yelling in traffic and feeling so much rage.

I hope that the hormones will help just because they will help me to realize that I am making progress.

I still have that tendency to go to an "all you can eat" buffet and consider it a challenge.

Love ya,

Sally

Sally,

You will notice when your estrogen level's are at their peak,you can get flashes of anger.

That is normal.It is by repetition that we teach ourselves not to lash out.You can say some

mean things,it is the hormones talking.Forgive yourself and move on.Learn that,no matter

your size,you are now a female,have no where near the physical strength you used to,can

be hurt in a fight easily,unless trained in hand to hand combat.We have to defeat a lifetime

of training to let our old self go,in a low slow process.Be patient with yourself,it takes time.

Big Hugs,

Angie

[Guest MacyandM]

For my bad habits, I have to get rid of my tendency to laugh so awkwardly :/.

It's so off for me...ugh, I hate it. It's very "un-womanly" as you might put it aha.

Oh and when I get hyper I tend to be very obnoxious in a bit of a masculine way.

Hard to explain, though if you knew me you'd understand.

[Guest cjnoble71]

Hardest habit to break in my girl mode? Whistling a tune.

Second hardest - expectorating (look it up) in any form in public.

Easiest? Punching my fist through the drywall when really mad.

Second easiest? Bandaging my damaged hand because i accidently hit a wall stud when punching my fist through the drywall.

You asked!

Lizzy

See now, for me, it worked in the opposite direction.

[Guest cjnoble71]

swearing. i was exceptionally good at it!

i have to say after having a more appropriately estrogen laden brain, i'm really very offended by it. and it's not a conscious thing at all ... i don't ever think 'oh, i'm a girl now, so i must be offended by this'. it's like being a casual observer of hormonal behaviour changes.

while visiting some friends yesterday, a neighbour of theirs called in for a coffee. she's very 'salt of the earth' let's say, and every second word was F this and F that. And the C word was peppered through there as well.

i found myself cringing.

paula (Y)

I still swear quite liberally myself, though I personally disdain the C word (the connotations are horribly offensive.) The F word, however, is one of my favorite words. One of my favorite activities too, if memory serves.

[Guest angie]

Hardest habit to break in my girl mode? Whistling a tune.

Second hardest - expectorating (look it up) in any form in public.

Easiest? Punching my fist through the drywall when really mad.

Second easiest? Bandaging my damaged hand because i accidently hit a wall stud when punching my fist through the drywall.

You asked!

Lizzy

You know Lizzy,I broke myself of punching through walls when doing the same thing you did.

That stud don't have any give but my knuckles sure did.Shoved three of them all the way back

to half way down my hand.Owwwwwwww lol now but it sure wasn't funny when I did it.

Expectorating...I like that word.

Hahahahhaha

Angie