Quick Update Before Surgery

[Guest Joe Cool]

Hey Everybody!!!

I wanted to just give a quick update. Things have been crazy for a while - that's why I have been around less the last few weeks. Things are better and work is going great! So I just finished getting my stuff together and and I have to be at the hospital in 4 hours and my surgery is in 6 hours. I am having the hysto done and they are removing everything. It will be nice to have this over with. I am not worried about the surgery. Lately, I am feeling like surgery is a hobby my problem is that I pass with no problems and if anyone has a question my voice seals it for me, but I am going to be on the gyn surgical floor and that is all women. I am worried about if I get a roommate, how they will respond to me sharing a room and their families responding. I had a really bad experiene when I met with the anestethiologist for my pre-op stuff. My problem was with the tech and the nurse. The appt was booked under my birth name before my legal name change was complete. I went in and explained I legally changed my name and the receptionist said they had to go by the name under the insurance. I have submitted everything numerous times with them and in talking with the people at my surgeons office it was understood that I would go by my legal name and if it hadn't been updated in the insurance co. computer then it would be billed under my birth name. They wanted me to sign consent forms under my birth name which I tried to explain I couldn't because it isn't my legal name. She got annoyed and told me I was wrong, crossed out my name, and made me sign my birth name. I figured I would have better luck with the nurse so ...The tech calls me in Ms. birth name. Embarrassed, I get up and go in and try to explain to her when we get in the room. She gives the same insurance answer, which I understand it will be billed under but I am trying to explain that it has been changed with the insurance. She asked resason for name change - I said I was transgendered. She was extremely rude and said a bunch of things and while she is taking my vitals she says "you are having a hysterectomy procedure done" I said yes. "No one is going to be calling you sir then...common sense" At which time the nurse walks in and says she needs to varify my info DOB, address, NAME I try to explain to her. I am remaining calm and polite although I am very not happy The tech says this is rediculous and walks out. The nurse calls the surgeon's office and says I said I have two names - not what I said. She orders me to get on the phone. I talk to the receptionst at my surgeon's office and she was very nice and was trying to work out the problem. The nurse then says we can't do this. She physically takes the phone from me while I was speaking to the receptionist and she says " you are going to have to figure this out. We can't see her now. I don't need to deal with this. When you figure this out you can reschedule her appointment." She listened for a minute and the she kicked me out of the office and said that they couldn't hold up the office. She told me to wait in the waiting area to see if I heard back when to reschedule. I left and called back my surgeon's office. She called and fixed it in the medical billing so my legal name was listed and then the insurance billing info. She called them back and someone else came out because I chose to wait n the hall. They then had me resign all the forms that they had me sign incorrectly and they had crossed out earlier. They made me wait around and then the same tech came out and calle me Ms. I went up to the desk and asked for the number to speak to the human rights officer which got a lot of people suddenly interested in what I had to say. I told them I wanted a technician that was professional and respectful. Finally got through the pre-op stuff with a different nurse. They were like this isn't an everyday occurence I said what treating people with respect? they said no. I said listening to patients? they said no. So I asked, what isn't an everyday occurence. They brought up the trans issue. I said, it never was a trans issue. It was a name and billing issue. The issue was that my name had been changed and that it might not have gone through in the system yet to be changed in the insurance co system. My gender or type of surger had no barring on the problem but it had everything to do with how it was handled and how I was treated.

So I am glad that I am not nervous about surgery because that could have been a big roadblock. My surgeon is awesome and I am hoping it stays that way! So the next time I talk to you all I will be a few organs lighter

Joe

[Guest MrAwesome]

THEY'RE SO LUCKY I WASN'T THERE!!! I WOULD HAVE GONE OVER THE TABLE!! They would be needing surgeries instead. (resconstructive ones on their nose...) How dare they make my buddy angry and put him through that! If someone did that to me that would last 2 seconds. I would have threatened to go to the highest official and see to it that all of them were FIRED! I would have ripped that paper up and threw it in their face if they crossed off my name! *Rawrs and shows fangs*

But... Congrats on the surgery.

[Guest Justme]

Hey Joe. Wish you well with the surgery and healing. Good job at keeping your cool.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Yeah, it sounds like they were totally being nasty because of the trans thing. Name changes are not at all uncommon. Women do it all the time when they get married. Some change it again if they get divorced. That tech was being VERY unprofessional. Also, it's not necessarily the case that having a hysto guarantees you will be called "Ms." or "she". I've definitely heard of transmen being referred to by correct pronouns when they get that procedure done.

Man... Sorry you had to go through that.

Good luck and quick healing!! Soon you won't have to deal with "those parts" again!!

[Sally]

Joe,

I am so sorry to hear about all of that hassel but congratulations on your behavior, everyone should be so calm and collected - especially the ones on the other side of the counter.

When you read this you will be out of surgery and recovering.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Joe, Sweetheart...........

I just want you to know that my thoughts have been with you throughout the entire day.......

Love....

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

The "cool' in Joe Cool is there for a reason.

I suspect a letter to the Hospital Administrator is in order. Ther behavior was very unprofessional. Some of those who you were hassled by need to have additional training. The hospital could have been sued over this issue. I am sure the hospital will appreciate you bringing this to their attention. You may also want to get you attending physicians involved as they carry weight. In addition - you surgery was a result a brutal attack, and you were almost treated as a freak.

Its good to follow through to keep others from having it happen to them - trans or not.

But that is going to be very low priority for a while.

And if you have too many organs taken out we are going to have to shorten your name - because only half of you will be there!

Oh my

You are such a wonder - and this is a message to you at about 1:40 your time - you will be in recovery... my oh my

Praying for you my sweet brother.

Elizabeth

[Guest MrAwesome]

Lizzie I think we're in the same time zone! =D Being "Cool" "Calm" and "Collect" is for people WITHOUT anger management issues. V.V Getting "angry" and shutting them up in RECORD TIMING is MUCH more fun!

[Guest nova]

That is so messed up to get someone all stressed out when they are about to have surgery. they should know better. But way to stick up for yourself and I'm hoping it all goes well in surgery!

[Guest Joe Cool]

Hey Everyone!

I am currently sitting in my hospital bed with my girlfriend asleep in the chair next to me. Surgery was very successful and I made it out alive so Recovery starts now. I feel ok - more discomfort than pain. I am super excited - my doctor wrote and hand delivered my SRS documentation letter to me. She asked what info I needed in it and she wrote a draft and then we made corrections and she put the final on hospital stationary and signed it. The entire team was amazing. My doctor knew and referrs to me as Joe. The nurses, anestethiologist, and the Residents asked how I would like to be addressed ( Joseph, Joe, Mr. my last name) The were very respectful and very sensitive to how annoying and embarrassing the situation was. They got me a private room so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable and they asked if they couldn't get the private room would I prefer to be in a male's room or a female's room. I thought that was pretty cool. She said she would let me make the decision and that she could argue either side to make those accomodations. Thanks for all your well wishes! I feel ok now - I'll let you know if that changes as the anestesthia works it's way out of my system and the pain meds wear off. I can ask for them if I need them. I just don't want to take them unless it is absolutely necessary. When I get out of here I can now legally change all my documentation to be lagally male I think the euphoria is working better than the pain meds.

Lewis - I appreciate your support and I was angry and embarrassed. I made absolutely certain that I stayed in control in what I said and did. I left a message with the human rights officer, I am sending a letter to them, and I will also send it to hospital administration. I will cite some of the philosophy and mission statement and how that was disregarded. I will aso make mention that my HIPPA rights were violoated more than once. If I had screamed at them then nothing would have got accomplished and I would be placing myself on their level. I would not physically assault them because that is never acceptable and would get me in all sorts of trouble. The same is true even if I threatened to harm them. I now have a case to present my side of the story and have no actions that I am ashamed of or that could invalidate my case in anyone's eyes. They absolutely need to be educated. I was there to get stuff done so I would be set to have my surgery. I did that!! Now, I don't have those pesky organs that somehow ended up inside of me by mistake I have my documentation letter to legally change my gender Now in the future this won't even be a concern. I came here to vent and get validation that they were very ignorant and made my blood boil How you carry yourself and how you respond speaks more than any ignorant comment. You are a good friend to care about me and my feelings. Thank you!

Anyone who may need a hysto in MA or can get to MA - Dr. Yvonne Gomez-Carrion at Beth Israel is totally great and super sensitive to trans issue, provides documentation, and works with insurance companies and wording to get the surgery covered.

Thanks Everyone!

Joe

[Guest joeytheman16]

Joe,

Glad you made it through. I would have wished you luck if I had been on earlier!

Honestly, I think it took more fortitude to handle the situation the way you did. Good job bro!

I hope recovery goes well for you.

Joey

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

That's great, Joe! It's good to know you are out of surgery and on the road to recovery!

[Guest Pól]

I'm so glad to know you're out of surgery and doing well. You've been in my thoughts all day.

[MaryEllen]

I'm happy for you, Joe. Glad everything worked out ok.

Hugs,

MaryEllen

[Guest Donna Jean]

OMG...

Joe......

I can hardly tell you how I feel right now....

Overwhelmed by you determination.....

Proud that you did this and achieved you goals....

Amazed at you love for everyone, regardless..

Way to go, Sweetheart......

I am so ....snif'

Dee Jay

[Guest Joe Cool]

Thanks Everyone!

Your positive vibes got me through again! I am just really bored right now. I hate being an insomniac I'm hoping I can get some sleep at some point but right now boredom is overwhelming!

Joe

[Sally]

Welcome back to the living - I know that strange feeling after you first wake up, you don't want to just lie there but you can't really control your movements.

By the time your body catches up with your mind - you're bored.

Hospitals aren't that exciting unless you have a roommate that you can challenge to hospital bed assisted sot ups and that isn't advised for after abdominal surgery anyway.

I am so glad that you are fine and sorry that you are bored.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Brenda~]

OMG Joe,

What a hassle and for what really?... Nothing, but ignorance. I am glad that ultimately things worked out for you, but gosh, how you kept your composer, your cool, is remarkable. I guess that is why you are Joe cool

Anyway, do you realize what a tremendous thing you did? You educated these nincompoops to understand that when someone says my names is.... and has proof of their name, then believe them. Do not get hung up on the fact that the person said that they were transgendered. You actually gave these people in the hospital a lesson on the realities of being trans and to respect everyone. You exposed these people (who pretended to be care givers) for the bigoted, narrow minded people that they are.

I am sure that there will be some serious reprocussions as a result of how they treated you.

It is late Friday night and I am sure you must be recuperating and I do hope that you are sleeping right now.

Just remember that I love you, we all love you, and I hope you get back on your feet soon!!!

Love

Brenda

[Guest Elizabeth K]

JOE

You are okay - that's what I needed to know. My goodness I wish I could have been around to see you when you woke up. Male now huh? Well the paperwork says so.

So gooooood

You deserve it!

Get well - get rested. Get back to us...

Love you

Lizzy

[Guest NicolaiAE]

Congratulations Joe! I'm sorry you were hassled at the hospital.

Get well soon!!

-Nicolai

[Guest Martin]

I'm sorry they treated you so poorly. I really respect you for handling it all so well. I hope you recover quickly and without much discomfort.

[Guest Leigh]

ah. sounds stressful..i think i would have asked for an HR person a bit sooner though..lol. but i have no patience for jerks...

best of luck, or whatever i'm supposed to say...i will be thinking good thoughts for you.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest Joe Cool]

To my loving sisters - yes I am ok!! I feel like I have been in training for this. I have been up and walking around. The nurse ealier told me to take it easy and go back to bed to rest At the end of the hall is a huge window so now that it is night you can see the Boston skyline all lit up. You can also see Fenway Park with the Citgo sign and all the lights. I am high enough up that I can see the park but I can't watch the game. I think that is cool. Patti is with me and waited all day - surgery was 7 hours and cried so now she is unconscious on the chair next to me. I keep trying to offer her the bed but she won't take it. My mouth was really dry from the anesthesia and being intibated which also has given me a sore throat so I told her that I was thirsty. She went to the cafe and brought back like ten bottles of juice and flavored water. She is so sweet - I am very lucky. She also got nervous because my BP dropped to 83/47 I wasn't dizzy but the staff freaked out. I am on heart meds so that coupled with the morphine dropped it real low. I have refused to take anymore pain meds. It is nothing I can't tolerate right now.

@Sally - I don't have a roommate to play any games with and Patti is sound asleep. They keep reminding me that I just had major surgery - like I forgot So I just space out my walks. I really wish I could sleep. Rotten insomnia. I guess I could be thankful I slept through surgery I love you too!

@Brenda - I have a lot of practice dealing with ignorant people. I was glad that this situation was just words and didn't get violent. Thank you for the compliments. I will make sure that something happens. The way in which my HIPPA rights were violated gives me grounds to make a complaing with the lisecing board and different avenues. I am hoping they will have to go through a diversity and cultural sensitivity training. I would rather they get educated. I love you too!

@Lizzy - I love you too! Paperwork says male.

@Dee Jay - Don't cry but I do have tissues for you! I love you too!

Joe

[Guest Leigh]

ah. sounds stressful..i think i would have asked for an HR person a bit sooner though..lol. but i have no patience for jerks...

best of luck, or whatever i'm supposed to say...i will be thinking good thoughts for you.

peace&love

leigh

ah...jk self. i was totally late on this.

have a good recovery

peace&love(still/again)

leigh

[Guest LightNebula]

I'm very, very happy surgery went well for you, Joe! I hope you're feeling at least 10 times happier than I am for you (which would be super extremely happy).