A Change Is As Good As A Holiday…

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

Androgyny don’t you just love it…

I lived an androgynous life style for around 18 months before going 24/7…

In fact I kinda liked being androgynous= one minute “Can I help you sir?” Then in the next breath…”Can I help you ma’am?”…Or just plain old confused look on face and “Can I help you?”… OK, so the toilets were a bit of a nightmare-the double takes and the back tracking guys often did when walking in sees me washing my hands then doing a quick retreat to check the sign over the door…That’s all in the past-no more questioning looks…for obvious reasons-no more male toilets…

My trip through androgyny

I used to do identification work for some pest management companies identifying ‘friend or foe’ in the insect world…Anyway one day I called to say ‘Kia Ora’ to some friends who ran a company, they and all their staff knew of my metamorphosis [gradual change-I had been around 6 months on HRT] well while having coffee I was explaining to the staff the weird and wonderful world of ‘androgyny’ & ‘perception’, how people tend to see things differently, where one minute I’m referred to as male and the next female, they [the staff because they saw me on a regular bases-two to three times a week-] didn’t consciously notice the gradual change, anyway on this particular day a young guy from the department of conservation called in with an ant species he had come across on one of the off shore islands which he wanted identified, he saw me with my magnified lenses and said “Perhaps this kind ‘lady’ could identify this for me!” and passed the specimen over to me…

The staff whom I had just been telling how people’s perception differs, were blown away-it was like a light went on in their brains and there before them was a ‘woman’…It’s really weird how this happens - one minute the staff saw what their brains had condition them to see a male and the next minute a ‘female’…It was like their subconscious which had been monitoring the change finally dragged this change to their conscious mind making it ‘reality’… I should point out most of my friends in the industry were ok about my transition-the two friends who owned the company had known from the word go and so did all their staff…

I also used to collect specimens for the Auckland museum’s natural history department,[yes I did find my work interesting] I would visit there every two to three months…One day the curator who had not seen me for quite a while, kept staring at me and finally said “Wow you look different!”, I’m sure he knew why I looked different, but didn’t think it was his place to comment on the change…This sort of thing happened quite a bit…After I went 24/7 I had some of my clients say things like “I had an idea that things were not quite right with the male you!”

I often wonder about the ‘transition’= shift in the brains of people who knew me as a male- their brain’s been conditioned to see and associate ‘male’ but what they are now seeing is female, so I guess it can take quite some time for a cisgender person’s brain to adapt to the shift in perception…Perhaps that’s why at times close friends and family who we see on a regular bases[and who knew us as our former self] tend to slip up with names and pronouns-This happened for a while shortly after I affirmed my gender , but thankfully now it no longer happens…[Apart from my children that is-to them I’ll always be ‘dad’ in private and I’m quite comfortable with that]…

When it comes to gender identity, I can truly say “I’ve been there and done that!” I have fond memories of my trip through ‘androgyny’…The land of ‘Now you see me - now you don’t!’

The moral of this post…a change is as good as a holiday so enjoy ‘androgyny’ while it last or if you're planning on living there, take it from me it’s a weird and wonderful place…

Metta Jendar

PS I was going to say “Wow I’ve actually done a post that’s not weird”-but after reading it, I’m not too sure…

[Sally]

PS I was going to say “Wow I’ve actually done a post that’s not weird”-but after reading it, I’m not too sure…

But Jendar,

Weird posts are one of your major contributions to the playground - if you can read a post just once and already know what it is saying long before the end it isn't thatinteresting- I like to think and wierd posts have that effect on me.

That is very interesting and I hope to be able to enjoy that transitional phase as well.

So many of us fear the changes and especially that in between time but you seem to have truly enjoyed the journey not just impatiently waiting for the destination.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Sally,

Even though for me the 'androgynous period' was ok, you could say I smelt the roses along the way- avoiding the thorns apart from the odd priick or two…[i’m not sure if American’s used this colloquialism for someone whose “a pain in the butt!”] if I knew then what I know now, I would have enjoyed it even more... Just think of the laughs one could have at others expense... Example: "Can I help you sir?" "Pardon!" "Opooos sorry! Can I help you Ma'am?" again "Pardon!" one could really get a person's knickers in a twist...

“If you can change the way you look at things –Then the things you look at change!”

Remember that Sally when you pop your first pill...

I've decided that being weird is ok-it makes the world look more normal...

Metta Jendar

[Sally]

Ia Ora Na, Jendar

(Tahitian for hello - that's for everyone else, I think you know that already Jendar)

Yes that is a great way to look at the world it makes a lot more sense if you look at it weird while standing on your head.

It is almost 9 PM here so it must be pretty early there, have a good day.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

Kia Ora Sally,

Even though for me the 'androgynous period' was ok, you could say I smelt the roses along the way- avoiding the thorns apart from the odd priick or two…[i’m not sure if American’s used this colloquialism for someone whose “a pain in the butt!”] if I knew then what I know now, I would have enjoyed it even more... Just think of the laughs one could have at others expense... Example: "Can I help you sir?" "Pardon!" "Opooos sorry! Can I help you Ma'am?" again "Pardon!" one could really get a person's knickers in a twist...

“If you can change the way you look at things –Then the things you look at change!”

Remember that Sally when you pop your first pill...

I've decided that being weird is ok-it makes the world look more normal...

Metta Jendar

normal is boring, i've always liked weird

there is lots of fun to be had!

i've had some double, triple and quadruple takes while in the mens room

if only i had my voice down i might have said something about it

being transgender is painful stressful and an emotional rollercoaster

if you don't laugh about it now and then you won't make it

so i say have fun with it every chance you get!

hugs

Naomi

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Naomi,

My two favourite songs..

Monty Python's "Always look on the bright side of life!"...

And I forget the singer's name but the song was "Don't worry be happy!"

I'm glad to see that you are 'NORMAL' too How 'weird' is that???

Metta Jendar

[Sally]

Kia Ora Naomi,

My two favourite songs..

Monty Python's "Always look on the bright side of life!"...

And I forget the singer's name but the song was "Don't worry be happy!"

I'm glad to see that you are 'NORMAL' too How 'weird' is that???

Metta Jendar

Great songs, Jendar,

"Don't Worry be Happy" is by Bobby McFerrin.

All of the sounds on the recording were made by him wither singing humming or slapping various parts of his body and whistling.

I spent way too many years in a record store!

As my tribute to wierd, I will say that my all time favorite big band was a group that played in odd meters, most bands play in 4-4 or 2-4 and occassionally 3-4 this one had numbers in 5-4, 7-4, 11-12, 33-32 and in one instance 3 3/4-4.

Don Ellis was indeed my leader for wierd!

He even had a trumpet made that could play the notes half way between the keys of the piano - yeah, Don!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Sally,

And welcome to the weirdo's club for normal people...

Metta Jendar

[Guest Pól]

Jendar, a chara,

(That's "Dear Jendar" in Irish. Literally, "Jendar, friend.")

Point 1: I always enjoy your weird posts. They get me to thinking. (<- Evan or someone else will probably have some cute remark to say about this )

Point 2: I think you're right. People see what they've been trained to see, but if you show them another way of looking at it, suddenly their brains have been catching things subconsciously for a long time and it makes sense. Gender isn't something that cisgendered people are accustomed to seeing as changeable, so between that and mental habit, it makes sense that they would still make mistakes over time. (That doesn't make you feel any better about it at the time though, even if it does make sense.)

Point 3: I like your idea of 'enjoying androgeny.' I think that's a valuable way to look at it, and probably more constructive and helpful in the long term. Hmm...you give me things to think about, lol.

Le gach deá ghuí (basically, "with best wishes," literally, "with every good prayer"),

Pól

[Guest Zenda]

Wotsup Po’l

That’s rapper talk for 'Dear Po'l' …

No seriously, thanks for the Irish Po’l a chara,-how does one pronounce the words???

My ex brother-in-law was Irish[well his father was], the only Gaelic [irish] he knew, spoke [and drank] was “Guinness’…

I have to tell you something funny-When I lived in Australia I had a friend from Ethiopia called ‘Fikra’ and in Sydney where we were living there was an Irish club called the ‘Gaelic’ club, anyway one day this friend told me about this club he had been to, and he called it the ‘Garlic’ club and said the people spoke a funny kind of English, it took me a while to work out that he meant ‘Gaelic’…I crack up every time I think about it…

Back to topic...Yes perception=the workings of the mind/brain has always facinated me- At times I wish I had one...

Le gach deá ghuí

Metta Jendar

[Guest Pól]

A Jhendar, a chara, (another way of writing it)

"A chara" is pronounced roughly as "uh - KHAH-ruh," but the broad "ch" sound is really hard to transliterate. It's a bit like the "ch" in a scottish person's "loch" except not exactly. I've also seen it transliterated as "uh XAH-ruh." Maybe between the two, you can get an idea. The "a" is the vocative particle, and requires séimhiú in the noun following it (I don't know what the word for séimhiú is in English, sorry mods, but it's the grammatical construction where you put an 'h' after the first consonant). "Le gach deá ghuí" is roughly "leh gAHkh dyjAH (gw)yEE." "gh" is another hard sound to transliterate. It's a slender consonant here, so it sounds a bit like a 'y.' Did I mention I'm rubbish at transliterations?

lol at the 'rapper talk' and the story though, that's fantastic.

Beir bua agus beannacht (triumph and blessings...another 'best wishes' kind of...it's a pretty typical close in a letter, but it translates awkwardly, as usual),

Pól

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Po'l,

Thanks for the pronunciation tips...

Metta Jendar

[Guest angie]

That brings to mind my time in androgyny,

I was visiting my ex and daughters at her house,at about six month in HRT.

All of her neighbors were our neighbors before moving out,so all knew the

very masculine me of before.At the time,my hair was almost to my waist,

was dressed non gender specific.When I pulled up,my exes best friend was

just walking out her front door.She took one look at me,and ducked back

inside,shutting the door.She had turned to my ex and said,"There is a strange

woman in your driveway." My ladies laughed and told her that that(lady) was

me.Once she left she told Everyone about my change in the neighborhood.

I stepped out to play with my grandson's,the street was full of folks waiting to

see the very different me.I was sir and ma'amed by folks I had known for years

when they came up to get a gander at who they now knew was a trans in transition,

not sure how to address me.I Went to the store with my kids and was ma'amed and

it blew my kids away.And I wasn't even trying.Now I am refered to in the female

always.The change in my appearance unmistakeable.I went to my exes two weeks

ago,no one even knew who I was I have changed so much.Her best friend drove

right by me with no sign of recognition.hehehe

Angie