Coming out to friends and family

[Guest Julie_Mason]

So Ive finally started comming out to my friends and family! (Yay... its about freakin time, lol).

I was at a family function (My Grandma's 70th B-day) on Saturday and went there with the intention (well maybe just the hope) of coming out to at least one of my family members. I went in "boy-mode", but since Ive stopped using my past facade of masculinity (voice and manurisms), I figured that someone would notice that something was up and maybe break the ice by asking me about it.

Noone seemed to notice anything significant, but I dont blame them...

"If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence..." - Bertrand Russell

My eldest sister, I think could tell that I was acting a bit different, because she seemed to hang around me and talk to me more than she usually does, but unfortunately I couldnt seem to isolate her from the crowd and talk to her about anything in private. She and one of my female cousins were the ones that I had in mind to tell, but they both ended up leaving before I got a chance.

The fact that either noone noticed or didnt say anything if they did, kind of made me a tad forlorn (that and the fact that after my sister and cousin left, I felt a bit defeated), So I kinda stayed away from everyone at that point and got slightly sulky... This, one of my uncles did notice.

We were outside (just the two of us) and he asked me what was wrong. I, at first said, "nothing", but after I started to think about his views on things and his experiences (He was a bartender in New Orleans, of all places for like 10 years, so I knew he had to have encountered transgendered people before), I told him, "on second thought, something is bothering me. I have wanted to tell the family something for a long time, and I feel like Im going to explode if I dont tell someone soon...(insert me telling him my true life story in a nutshell here)...

I ended up going back to his house afterwards and we talked and talked about it (and a very WIDE range of other things relating to gender issues and metaphysics) from like 9PM until about 1AM. I still dont think he completely understands that me transitioning isnt a choice or want, but an organic, dire, need (what person that dosent suffer from gender issues could possibly truly understand completely?), but he put it to me like this: "No matter what, if you're truly happy and it doesnt affect anyone else negatively, I will love you and support your decisions". He even offered to help me tell the rest of the family (I declined that offer, but accepted his offer to talk to any of them for me that give me a bad or negative reaction after I tell them.)

It felt so immensely good to get that weight off of my chest to a loved one, so much so that I had to have more! The next day (Sunday) I went to see a male friend that Ive known since I was like 10 years old and basically consider him my brother (who, incidently, is homosexual, and consequently came out to me in highschool). I told him about myself, and he was ecstatic! The only thing negative he said was, "Why on earth did it take you so long to tell me, of all people?", We have a new-found bound now, and I know Ill be seeing him more often than I have lately. I also showed him some pictures of myself enfem, and he didnt believe that it was really me. He also said that he thought I was "gorgeous" (Major confidence booster!) We too, talked into wee hours of the night.

(On a side note: He said this picture: http://www.lauras-pl...leryℑ=7665 reminded him of Cate Blanchett's character, Lady Galadriel (Lord of the Rings) << link removed >>... It tickled me, hehe)

Today I took my female cousin (the one I wanted to tell on Saturday) out to lunch and told her. She was very understanding (and even told me about her being bisexual). She was also equally complimentary about my pictures enfem (said that I was one of the cutest chicks in our town... an obvious exagerration, but it sounded heart-felt nonetheless), and when she found out that we wear the same size clothes, she was thrilled that she had a new shopping buddy. She even offered to let me raid her closet from time to time when Im going out enfem, until I can obtain a better/bigger wardrobe of my own.

At this point I dont think I can contain this "secret" any longer to ANY of my loved ones and will be systematically telling them all in the next few days/weeks (basically as soon as I can get to them with free time). I wouldve never imagined that it would be this easy or feel this good (and its getting easier everytime). There are still a few friends and family members that I think have prejudices and/or reservations about TG people, and Im still not quite sure how to approach them about it. Theyve never said anything directly to that effect, but have made comments on various occasions that lead me to belive that they see it as a perversion or fetish or something along those lines (Thanks alot Media and Southern right-wing conservatism...). I completely intend on telling them as well, but they will be at the bottom of my list (at least until I figure out how to broach the subject with them).

Thank you for reading, and again I apologize for the lack of brevity, but yet again I fell prey to my verbose ways.

-Julie M.<3

Edited October 2, 2012 by Julie_Mason
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[Guest Jenny C]

Wow Julie,

I' so happy for you ! And your a great story teller by the way ;-)

love,

Jenny

[Guest Calicea]

Yay I'm so glad for you. I remember feeling the same way =) It's so true that people actually ended up being far easier than I ever imagined. The rush of telling people too. It feels so good. Please keep it up I can't wait to hear more beautiful stories.

Luvz,

Cali

[gennee]

Thank you for sharing, Julie. You did make headway and that says something.

[Guest Julie_Mason]

To a moderator:

Can I have this post moved to the correct forum? I didnt realize that there was a coming out forum when I posted this.

Thank you!!!

-Julie <3

[Cyndee]

Moved to coming out forum per request

Hugs

Cindy -

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Thanks, Cindy!

And thank you, Jenny and Calicea for complimenting my writing. I dont write enough, but I'll be sure to do it more now that I know I have some fans

Gennee, I feel like Im making alot of headway too, and plan on making alot more very soon.

Im actually heading to my sister's (not the one I mentioned above...she lives about 4 hours away ) house tonight when I get off work to tell her as well, so I'll be posting again about my experience with that. Wish me luck!

XOXOXO,

-Julie M. <3

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Update:

Well the trip to my sisters house was pretty uneventful... She fell asleep before I got there (It was pretty late at night, so I wasnt mad at her), and her door was locked (I tried knocking and calling/texting, to no avail), so I simply left. She texted me back about an hour later, saying how sorry she was, but I told her I understood, and just rescheduled.

So last Thursday I finally met with her, and told her my tale. She was extremely loving, and supportive about it. She understood and even called me out (jovially) about me borrowing her clothes when we were kids . Needless to say, I was floored with how cool she was with the whole thing. She encouraged me to tell the rest of the family (starting with Mom) and said she would do her part (however I needed her) with it. She actually started calling me "Sis" and "Julie" and also gave me a very cute dress that was too small for her. She seemed pretty psyched to have a little sister finally (...Said she was gonna turn me into her "dress-up doll" occassionally...lmao). She too, was incredulous about the enfem pictures I showed her.

We also discussed how to tell her S/O and kids. I love my nieces and nephew to death, and dont know what Id do if I couldnt be in their lives. I spoil them rotten and like to help to rear/foster them (in school and in life) and treat them as if they are my own kids (I babysit for her all the time). She thinks the eldest (nephew - 11yo) will be able to comprehend the news and although he might be a bit taken aback at first, that he will soon come to love his Aunt Julie, as much as he loves his Uncle James (Yep, name-drop finally for those of you who are reading this ). The second eldest (Niece - 6yo), may not understand completely as she might lack the capacity for it this early in life, but we feel, will ultimately love her new Aunt too. The youngest (niece - 3yo) may not understand at all, but since shes at such an early, malleable age, it may not matter at all, either (She'll just get used to it after a while and not think twice about it). The biggest thing, we felt, was giving the kids information (the correct information, mind you) in a gentle, analogous way that they would be able to relate to and understand...Tricky, but I think I'll figure it out (...and btw, if any of you have been in a simalar situation and might have some pointers for me, please feel free to clue me in).

On to today. I arranged dinner at my sister's house tonight (a night when her S/O will be there), and I intend on telling him after dinner (and maybe a couple beers ). I also invited a close male friend of mine that Ive known since High School, by way of a text conversation spelling out that we'd love to have him join us, and that there was something I really needed to talk to him about. Hes a very caring guy and oftentimes we have deep heart-to-heart conversations about various things. He agreed to come and said, "You know Im here for you, whenever you need someone to talk to, good or bad...".

I figured this was a good way to "kill two birds with one (massive boulder, lol)" so-to-speak, as he is also good friends with my sister's family. Infact He, my sister's S/O, and I had a little "sharing session" a few months ago over some drinks, and both of them ended up opening up and revealing personal events about their lives, that Im sure theyve never told anyone else before. So, I think tonight will go swimmingly (at least I sincerely hope so).

Keep all your fingers, toes, (and whatever other appendages that may apply, hehe) crossed for me. I'll post an update about this venture tomorrow

Huggs,

-Julie M.<3

[VickySGV]

For the kids, my attention getter for my grandkids was a jigsaw puzzle that I put in a box for a different puzzle. In my case I was dealing with boys, and both them then 7 and 4 year old, the box had a MALE figure (spider man in their case), but a Barbie puzzle in it and we put it together and discussed the facts that what I had looked like when I was born was not what I had been inside. The seven year old made us all swear that we would NEVER tell his friends he had put a Barbie puzzle together, but he hugged me and had no trouble talking to me ever since.

There is also a Video called No Dumb Questions you can get online. Google the name, it comes up near the top, Two weeks ago, I got to re-meet the producer of this film (she is the lesbian daughter or a transsexual) and she had the main subjects with her, who were three small girls at the time, and one of them is now in college doing gender studies. The girls uncle had become an aunt in the DVD. I had given the video to my son and DIL before we talked to the GK's. It was helpful, because it has kid quetions in it.

[Guest Zeda]

I have to say, Julie, that I enjoy your writing Aside from it being wonderfully inspiring, your style was enjoyable enough to illicit this unrelated response

Also, good luck and have fun!

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Thanks for the advice, Vicky! The puzzle idea sounds wonderful. I told my sis about it and she thought it would be a relatively good ice-breaker to broach the subject with my niece (6 yo). She loves puzzles and shes good at analogies (I use them constantly with her while helping with homework). I'll definitely have to check out the video you mentioned as well.

...the producer of this film (she is the lesbian daughter or a transsexual) and she had the main subjects with her, who were three small girls at the time, and one of them is now in college doing gender studies...

Sounds like a success story to me, if Ive ever heard one.

...The seven year old made us all swear that we would NEVER tell his friends he had put a Barbie puzzle together, but he hugged me and had no trouble talking to me ever since....

Awww .... Thats soo sweet! Sounds like a cute kid.

And Thank you, Xeda, for your very generous felicitation of my writing. Im very glad to hear that it was enjoyable. This is one facet of myself that I was unaware of until very recently. I'm in constant amazement by the fact that, no matter how well I (think I) know myself through habitual introspection and inner dialogue, I continually learn of new, apparently innate abilities to add to my repertoire of skills and talents. I'll have to explore this by trying my hand (literally) at some serious writing soon.

But for now, on to my...

Update:

Well, before I get into anything serious, I would like to be frivolous for a moment and mention that I made an awesome dinner... A casserole that consisted of a bottom layer of vegetables (red, yellow, and green bell peppers, carrots, onions, and zucchini) sautéed in olive oil and basil; a layer of plain Greek yoghurt; sliced eggplant that was marinaded in raspberry walnut vinaigrette, and topped with a layer of a cream cheese glaze. This was paired with broiled tilapia, seasoned with cayenne pepper and thyme. (Are your mouths watering yet? hehe). Sorry if I seem egotistic about my meal creation, I just dont cook very often and was very proud of the way my concoction turned out.... Ok, on the crux of the matter at hand...

The meal went very pleasantly during which, we all enjoyed a few beers (my sister's S/O, a few-too-many, lol) and then I asked them if they would accompany me out back to the patio (the kids were still awake inside) because, I said, "There is something I want to talk to you about."

I started off by asking both my friend and sister's S/O (for the sake of me not using exasperating repetition, lets refer to them as "B" and "R", respectively) if they knew or were aware of the terms, Gender Dysphoria, or Gender Identity Disorder. "B", said he was not, "R" said he was "somewhat familiar" with the terms (I later found out that he had seen a program on the Discovery Channel about it). So I then asked "B" if he knew the term, "Transgender"... (That one hit the mark). He said yes, but in a very curious way. It seems as though my suspicions were substantiated and he did infact, have some erroneous preconceived notions of what it actually means. I set him straight in the course of our discussion, however.

I described in length to both of them what Ive been through in the past, what Im going through now, and what Im going to be experiencing in the very near future with my transition. They both listened patiently until I came to a stopping point, at which time, they both had many questions (including a jokingly, "Are you high right now?...No?...ok good, just wanted to make sure" from "B") of which I answered honestly and informatively.

They both turned out to assimilate into their world-views, the information I presented them with and news about me, in a very positive, dynamic way. The new me was welcomed with literally open arms by them, and we even had a few laughs about everything (Both of them are classic jokesters, and aparently Im now the "Family Jules"....thanks, "R"... Alcohol, while sometimes a dangerous tool in the wrong hands, was in this case very condicive to the process, I think.)

They too, were shown my enfem pictures, and were not only skeptical that it was really me, but were also very plauditory with their comments. "B" even said he was going to take me out with him (enfem) next time he wants to go, and I quote, "Trolling for @#*$^+" (use your imagination). According to "B", supposedly the best way to meet girls is to already have a "hotty" with you. Yea.... dont know if thats ever going to happen, but it was funny to me and worth mentioning nonetheless.

All in all, it was yet again, a very good experience for me, and one that I will be hoping to re-create as soon as possible with other relations in my life. More updates (for any of you interested) will be forthcoming as the events in my quest to "set the record straight" with my friends and family, continute to unfold.

In the words of my favorite, famous, feline; Tigger..... "TTFN, tah-tah for now!"

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo!!!!!

-Julie M.<3

[Guest Krisina]

That's great that you were able to come out to your long time friend, your uncle and a cousin. It is nice to hear you had some people you felt comfortable around and safe to tell.

Krisina

[Guest Jenny C]

Love,

Jenny

P.S. Again... You're so good at writing and so determined !!! Wow !

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Update:

Well, last night I attempted for the third time to tell another of my close male friends. While past attempts proved to be inopportune times, this attempt was the "Money maker" so-to-speak.

This experience was a testament to the irrefutable fact that no matter how well you think you can predict someone's reaction, there will always be surprises. First of all, unlike my telling the others, this came with no seemingly ominous preamble from me (ie: "I want to meet for dinner, because theres something Ive been meaning to talk to you about...").

He invited me to his house to hang out and play videogames (Im a zombie-killin' machine...Woot... C.o.D. Black Ops!), and when we took a break to watch a little TV, I just started talking to him about it.

Now, Im not sure if it was his lack of mental preparation, or that this was merely a typical "guy" response, but he seemed to take it very casually (as if I simply said, "its supposed to rain today", or some other equally blasé comment). He was happy that I was happy, that I could tell, but it didnt seem to phase him in the slightest. We talked about it for at most a few more minutes, and then we just started playing videogames again. Not an undesirable response, mind you, but a markedly unexpected one. I know that he wasnt just trying to mask uncomfortableness by behaving in this fashion, because later he asked if Id like to stay for dinner (I declined because of prior-made plans), and even called today to ask if Id like to come over and hang out after work. I have my suspicions that he may have played the "cool cucumber" so that I wouldnt feel like a social pariah (him portraying no reaction in lew of any reaction that might make me feel as though I were "different"). In any event, Im very glad that I revealed this side of myself so I dont feel awkward around him any longer.

(On a side note: When I asked if he'd like to see any pictures of me enfem, he said, "Na, I think I'll just wait until I see it in person". Not quite sure what that means, but Im sure its just another case of me trying to over-analyze things.)

Now on to today's events... I had made plans previously to see me cousin today to borrow a few clothes and accessories for this weekend (Im being taken to Atlanta Pride by my "Champion" (as she puts it), JB (refer here) and need a bigger wardrobe). So when I arrived at her house this morning, my Aunt (her mother) was there as well, and I decided that this was as good a time as any to talk to her. This Aunt, by the way, has always been not only one of my favorite family members, but also one of my favorite people. She exudes this warm, radiating light that seems to brighten up any gloomy situation, and has the best sense of humor Ive ever seen. I told her, and there was this moment when tears started to well up in my eyes, and she (fighting back tears of her own) said, "Oh please dont cry, you're gonna make me cry too", but it was too late and we both had ourselves a much needed, tension relieving weep. While I believe that hers were tears of sadness at the fact that I went through such inner torment growing up, I assured her that mine were tears of joy at finally being happy.

She and my cousin were able to see me enfem afterwards while I was showing them the clothes that I was trying on, and she was amazed at how pretty (her words not mine) I was. My Aunt also gave me some perfume, lotions, and an assortment of other needed accoutrements, and told my cousin and me to come by her job (She is the manager at a local mall department store, and had to leave for work shortly thereafter) in a bit and she would get me some shoes. My cousin was also equally as generous and gave me a few articles of clothing that fit well and looked good on me, and then proceeded to take me to the mall, where she bought me some very nice nail polish and a set of Bare Minerals™. We then went to my Aunt's store and the shoes she found for me were fabulous and I thanked her profusely for them. My cousin and I had some lunch and made plans to see each other after we get off of work tonight, then departed ways, for it was time for me to "git on to the ol' salt-mines" once again.

I am so very blessed to have such wonderful, beautiful people in my life, and everyday I grow a little stronger inside knowing that there are those out there to "catch" me if I "fall". I no longer dread telling any of my friends or family and will be continuing my new policy of openess and honesty with each and every one of them, just as soon as I can see them.

Thank you for reading...

We'll see ya next time

-Julie M.<3

[Guest Jenny C]

You're too much !!! Really a great writer and so lucky to have so many nice persons around you...

Your friend's reaction reminded me of the reaction of a friend that was my room mate for a few years... In fact, I moved into his house. We were both working in a far away town. He was a great friend and still is and at some point in the past, I had saved him from a suicide attempt... (long story)

So I felt at ease, and since we were living together I had to tell him... He had the same reaction as your friend... No problem... let's play a video game ;-)

In fact, he was afraid of being attracted to me and insisted that I do not dress to sexy... That which I did with much subtlety gradually with time;-) Couldn't refrain...

And we continued our life together as if nothing was changed... I realized with time that it what not really important for him... The important part was our friendship that lasted and that we had fun together. He is a real "guy" ;-)

I thank him, hereby, for accepting me just as I am.

Love,

Jenny

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Update:

So last night I finally told my sister's children. The experience (what I remember of it anyway) went as follows...

After I got back from my big trip to Atlanta Pride on Monday, I resolved myself to tell the kids as soon as possible. I called "R" (see above) and he agreed that it was time.

(on a side note: "R" has been extremely supportive and loving to me since I told him. He consistently uses the proper pronouns, and lovingly calls me "Jules")

I told him about the puzzle idea and the video and he thought they sounded great, so he set up dinner for last night with the intention to allow me to talk to his children. I bought the puzzles and when I arrived at their house (early, before the kids got out of school) he and I sat down at the computer to watch the video together, as neither of us had gotten a chance to review it yet. It seems that you have to purchase the video in order to watch it in its entirety. This was most disappointing, but didnt deter me one bit. I arranged the puzzles and thought up a plan of attack.

When my nephew(11yo) got home from school, I asked him if he had any homework, to which replied, "Nope", so I gave him a slight heads-up by saying, "Later, when your sister gets home, I have something really important to talk to you guys about. Its nothing bad or anything, but its something that I've been meaning to tell you." He looked slightly frightened, but said "Sure". After pondering my statement for a moment or two he asked me a question that still tickles me when I think about it. He asked, "Is it the zombie invasion?" (He has been watching "The Walking Dead" and Im afraid he takes it a little seriously sometimes.) I said, "No, sweetie, zombies arent real, and like I said, this is nothing bad".

Skip ahead 2 hours and enter my niece(6yo)...

I gave her the same preemption and I told my nephew to clear off the coffee table, so that while we talked, we could do a little activity. We sat down on the couch and I started by saying, " We're gonna put this puzzle together while we talk" I emptied the contents and spread out the peices on the table. I asked, "You both know about "birth" right?" They both nodded, "Well, sometimes when a child is born, they have the body of a boy, but on the inside they have the mind and feelings of a girl (and vice-versa)... Well when I was born that happened to me. When it happens its called Gender Dysphoria. Noone really knows why this happens to some babies and not others, but it happens all the time." By this point they were paying attention, but were also enveloped with putting the puzzle together. I continued, "Its kinda like this puzzle, you see on the outside, the box, theres Spiderman, a boy, but all the peices on the inside are of Barbie, a girl. Thats what its been like for me my whole life. Ive known since I was yals age that I was a girl on the inside, but because I didnt know any better, and thought it was wrong, I hid that part of me away, and started pretending to everyone else that I was a boy on the inside. Thats why you, and anybody else that knows me, didnt know, and havent known up until now. All this pretending to be something and somebody I wasnt always caused me to be really sad all the time, so now since Ive accepted myself for who I really am, I want to be happy, and the way that Im going to finally be happy is to make myself look like a girl on the outside to match whats on the inside. Since Ive always looked like a boy on the outside, this has always made me really sad too."

At this point although my nephew I could tell was holding back his emotions and withdrawing (as usual for him when he is distressed), my niece started to cry. It took everything in me to not cry too, as I wanted to be strong for them. So I asked her, "Are you sad too, sweetie?" She nodded. I asked, "What are you sad about?". She said in the most pitiful voice Ive ever heard her make (which almost broke me), "How are you going to change yourself?". I explained to them in non-graphic detail, what hormones were and how they worked to make girls look like girls and boys look like boys. I then explained that I would be taking a medicine to stop the boy hormones, and a different medicine to give me girl hormones, and that this plus me dressing in girls clothes from now on, which I have done lots of times before when noone was around, would change my outside to that of a girl. She didnt seem to like this and said, "But I want you to look like a boy". I asked, "Dont you want me to be happy?". She nodded. I said, "Well if I keep looking like a boy I will always be sad." I happened to have a 4-picture "photobooth" style print of myself (dressed enfem) and my TG friend "JB" in which all of the pictures I was smiling the biggest smiles ever (It was taken at ATL Pride). I showed this to her and my nephew and asked, "Dont I look happy?" They both nodded. "Have you ever seen me smile this big before?" they said no. I asked, "Well isnt it ok for me to be happy instead of sad?", they nodded. I asked them each individually, "Are you ok with seeing me finally be happy, even if I look like a girl?" They both said yes.

At this point I asked them if they had any questions for me about anything I talked about or anything that will happen with me in the future. My nephew, was silent (I suspect thinking up questions), but my niece started asking a few questions like:

"What will we call you?" I answered, "For now, whatever you feel comfortable calling me. But Id like it if you would eventually call me Aunt Julie. Mommy and Daddy already know about all of this and are ok with it too. They are already calling me Julie, which is what I will be changing my name to soon."

"Are you Mommies sister now?" I answered, "Yes, and she loves the fact that she finally has a little sister like you do"

She asked a few other similar questions as well, that I cant seem to remember, but to which I gave loving, gentle, and informative answers. She was definitely warming up to the whole concept. My nephew finally asked a few questions of his own like:

"Will you still like the same things you do with me now, like camping and shooting at the range?" I answered, "Yes. I really do like to do those things, and love taking you with me. These are things I never pretended about. The only difference is that now I'll be able to do the other things I like to do, but with your sister, like playing dress-up and putting on make-up." She seemed to really like this and said, "Yea, you are really pretty in the pictures." (Yet again, I almost broke down, but happily). My nephew asked if I was going to tell my other niece(3yo), and I answered that she wasnt feeling well tonight (she has a cold) and that its going to be difficult for her to understand any of this at her age. He told me that he could help me talk to her because he said he was good at explaining things to her in a way that she understands. I told him that was very nice of him and a great idea, but that we would do it the next time I came over.

The whole time they were asking questions, they were calming down and I could tell were starting to accept me for me. After they had exhausted all the questions they could think of, I told them, "If you ever think of anything else that you want to ask me, even if it seems silly, or embarrassing, I promise, you can ask me and you wont hurt my feelings, just ask me, or if Im not here, then ask to use your Mommy's or Daddy's phone and call me anytime, and I'll answer them for you." They promised to do so.

A few more questions and answers were exchanged along with a BIG hug, and then we had dinner, afterwhich they seemed to really want to spend time with me and do things together (I watched TV, with them wanting to sit on either side of me, and did some drawing afterwards with them) and had a great time together until I had to leave and get ready for work tonight (which is where I am now, incidently). They were sad that I had to leave and I was sad too, but they were also very happy I think to finally get to know the real me, and they seemed to feel closer to me having done so.

This was an amazing experience for me and I'll never look at those two, brilliant, wonderful, and loving kids the same way again. And although I dont think they will look at me the same way again, either, this I know, is a good thing indeed.

Ive got 3 more local relatives (2 more Uncles and my Grandma) to tell in the next few days, and 3 more (My eldest Sister, Mother, and Brother) that live out of town, that will have to wait to be told until they come down for Thanksgiving (as this is not something Im going to talk to them on the phone about) and then I will have told all the major players in my life. While I may not be able to go "Full-time" in every aspect of my life after this (Im waiting to do that for a bit longer for various personal reasons), I'll be able to be "Full-time" with my family from then on.

Thank you for reading

-Julie M.<3

[Guest]

Thanx for the update Julie!

Sure sounds like you're on the right path of your journey.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest LizMarie]

Oh gosh, I'm crying here. That's so wonderful! Congratulations!

[VickySGV]

Super neat-- I still have the paper with my grandson's questions to me on it. Touching it brings a smile to me every time.

[Guest Julie_Mason]

Well I figured it was about time for me to "revamp" this topic, as my coming-out will be nearing its completion later today.

My family decided to celebrate Christmas today this year, because many of my family members are from out of town, and couldnt travel here on the 25th. As I recounted above, most of my friends/family have been told about my TGism and that Im going through transition, with the exclusion of my eldest sister, and my younger brother, both of which will be here today. Since my last post on this topic, I have told both uncles, my grandma, and my mom and all were understanding and supportive.

As far as my eldest sister is concerned, I am not too worried about her reaction, as we have always been very close (we are the two "brainiacs" of the family, as she puts it), and I think that she will see the fact that I am female as just one more thing we have in common. She, I think (or hope, rather), will actually be quite excited about it. My brother is a different story...

My brother and I were always very close growing up (we are close to the same age, and even shared a room through most of our childhood). Of course, like all siblings, we had our many rivalries, but we always made up and became better friends after our spats. Well as everything in the Universe will attest to, time has changed things a bit...

We havent seen much of each other since we both went into the Army years ago, me being "M.I.", him being a "grunt", we were stationed in different places. I was discharged medically, he is still enlisted. So I wonder, with him having a very Military mind-set now (hes about to go to Special Forces school), how he will see me (I know how most Military sees this kind of thing in a negative light). Also, I wonder if he will feel like since I lied to him (and everyone else) throughout our childhood about who/how I really was inside, that somehow the things we went through together were "lies" too, and that this will detract from those experiences and make them now less meaningful to him. I also know that he as always kind of looked up to me as his "cool older brother" (I gave him advice on girls (Hmmm... I wonder how I knew things on that subject, lol), and since our father passed away when we were still very young children, I had to "play" the major-male-role-model for him), so I wonder how this will change his perception of those experiences (and maybe even his views on his own masculinity) too.

Im sure, when its all said and done, that I will have worried for nothing, but until that point, I will have much anxiety. I guess theres not much left to do about it except to talk to him (and my sister... but shes not the one who worries me).

Anyway, wish me luck. I'll (hopefully) be killing this thread tomorrow with a happy recount of what happens today.

Until then, Adieu my friends!,

-Julie M.<3

[Guest BrenGirl]

Stay strong and good luck!

[Guest Melissa~]

That's really not too bad, from my first to last disclosure was a year and a month. While I still need to tackle work, I have determined that HR has been aware for four months since an incidental outing occured. That leads to a very different perspective of the firing of an individual off my team during that time period.

[Guest Julie_Mason]

OK!

So this will probably be the last installment that I'll post in my "Coming-out Thread", as I have now told all of the significant players in the cast of the "Comedy of Errors" that is my life

I arrived at my Aunt's house on Saturday, having previously given both brother and sister a preemption that I needed to talk to them about something important. It just so happened that my sister was outside playing with kids when I pulled up, so needless to say, there was no way to make a dramatic entrance. I stepped out of the car and started walking in her direction, noticing that she was looking at me in a very confused way (this was from a distance of about 25 yards or so). When I actually got to where she was standing and said, "Hey Sis!", her facial expression went from a state of confusion to a state of shock (Later she told me that when she saw me walking up she thought "Who is this woman?... I recognize her and can tell that shes related, but I cant place her.").

I talked to her about everything and just like I assumed, she was thrilled for me. She told me that shes very proud of me for having the courage to finally be myself, and that she understands what I've been through (She apparently not only has some transgender friends, but actually also took a few classes on gender-study in college... My family is continually surprising me ). After she had asked the questions she wanted to, we hugged, and I asked her to go inside and get our brother...

Now, this time the "introduction-ball" was in my court, so to speak, and since my brother and I have always shared a rather warped sense of humor, I chose to hide around the corner closest to the door and when he came outside, I jumped out waving saying, "Hey Bro!". I dont think that it was me jumping out that did it (just a wild guess, lol), but his initial reaction was to say, "Holy (expletive deleted)!". After I explained things to him, he was very understanding and said, "You're actually happy now, and thats what is important to me" (I think he has known for a long time that I was never really happy growing up). Then he said something that I never in my wildest dreams, expected him to say... He said, "At least you make a really hot chick"... I was very flattered, but mostly I was completely floored with shock (and a tad embarrassed) that he would say something like that to me . He seemed to genuinely understand my situation and didnt just have the "typical" male response that Im used to getting (that of, "Well whatever floats your boat... Its none of my business"). It seems as though in the 2 years since we last saw each other, he has grown and matured a lot. I suppose raising children solo has a way of doing that sometimes.

He and I talked some more and then he too gave me a big bear hug before we went inside to join the festivities. The rest of the evening had a very pleasant and loving atmosphere, and all-in-all, I can honestly say that it was one of the best, happiest days I've had in a while.

(A cute little anecdote: At some point my brother and sister were talking about me and he made his only slip of the night and referred to me by my old name. My sister corrected him, so he said jokingly, "Ok, well the "woman-formally-known-as-(old name)". I thought it was funny... Maybe I should turn my name into a symbol now too, hehehe).

Happy New Year, everyone!,

-The woman-currently-known-as-Julie <3

[Guest Sarah_H]

Hi Julie,

That is such wonderful news!!

I am really pleased everything went so well and that you had such a good time.

Love,

Sarah.

xxxxx

[Guest Valerie]

Julie;

I am very happy for you. I am glad everything went so well with your brother and sister. Ohh, and your brother is correct, you are a very pretty woman.

/Love

Valerie