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Genderqueer Transitions


Guest Micha

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Where do you folks wanna go? What are your goals and what do you want the real "you" to be? Hormones? Surgery?

Wanna see what folks got to say while I think about my own answers. ;)

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Guest kylie666

At some point in my life Hormones YES, I can't really see a future without it. ... as for SRS that's something i can't answer right now...

At first i thought getting SRS means just getting a hole in you and no more no less, But after reading more about it and seeing videos/pics etc i see now that it's so much more and the closest thing to the real thing As you could get.

Even so i am not sure if i would want to get SRS, I very much love my GF/soon to be wife. And i am not sure if she would stay with me if i did get SRS

The Idea of SRS is intriguing, And it would make wearing clothes/swim suits much better and easier :P

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hmmmm I at least want to go with Top surgery, I'm not sure on bottom surgery since there are definite limitations with FtM at the moment, as for hormones, I'm teeter tottering on the thought I don't want the end result of myself being to masculine, even though the males in my family aren't what you would call straight out manly in appearance and I do enjoy having a soprano singing voice at least half the time(the other times are when I can't hit the low notes I looooove) and hormones would effect my voice -le sigh- So, as it stands It's getting the most prominent feature of my 'womanhood' removed, the breasts.... I just have to do research on how to go about doing that.

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Guest Ambigendrous

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

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Guest kylie666

Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

Yeah that's kind of the state i am in right now. And will most likely stay at.

BUT...The beard has to go :rolleyes: That's one of my number 1 goals is Laser within the next year.

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Guest shatteredpan

Well, I already took testosterone to bring out my male characteristics a little more. And honestly, I think I might be good. Chest surgery sounds tempting, but not entirely sure I want to go through with it. So for now it's a 'no', but who knows? That might change in a few years.

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Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes. My skin is softer, I've got a bit more curve and certainly fat in different places, and my breasts have developed nicely. I've been tremendously fortunate that my wife loves my body changes (as long as I never shave my beard!), my therapist understands androgyny and didn't have any problem giving me my state-required letter allowing my doctor to prescribe hormones for me, and my doctor works with a broad variety of gender variant people. The trick is to keep the male equipment working, but for me a small amount of testosterone seems to work great without bothering the estradiol. All that to say I've reached two of my goals (resolve the nagging gender issues I had all my life and get my body in line with the rest of me), and I'm pretty happy to have gotten this far. From here I'm just exploring.

This sounds wonderfult to me. I think I could be quite happy following your lead, but I doubt my lover would be as cool with me having boobs.

And I absolutely love your name. ^_^

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Guest Ambigendrous

This sounds wonderfult to me. I think I could be quite happy following your lead, but I doubt my lover would be as cool with me having boobs.

It's a hard choice to make - what will I give up for my relationships and what will I give up for myself? That's why I feel so fortunate. My greatest sacrifice is maybe I don't go topless at the beach, and in Seattle, that's not much of an issue. If my wife had objected to my taking hormones, I would have had to wrestle with myself a long time before I went down this path. We've been together for 25 years and she's such a part of me... I suppose you've asked your lover what he or she would think?

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No, and I don't think I will. Kinda complicated I guess. Still not sure exactly what I want.

Wonderfully understated XD It's so confusing just figuring out what you want, especially when it can change so much from one day to the next!

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I still don't have much of a clue here, top surgery is temping but still in the maybe column. As for T, I've never actually looked into what it does. Will probably look it up after I post this though... And bottom surgery, ummm... not completely out of the question but I'm pretty happy with my lady bits, as long as I don't get sprogged up. The thought of fertility kinda freaks me out...

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Guest xjpopfanx

I'm not really sure what I want. I'm kind of afraid still I guess of what others would think which is my main problem. If I did get anything done I think it would be the works, hormones and surgery but for now I'm just staying the way I am as I try to figure myself out more. It is complicated. ^^;;

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Once I got past the "Am I male or female?" question and finally figured out the best answer was both, I started thinking about how I could modify my very male body to match my androgynous brain. So I started taking estradiol almost 2 years ago. I knew there was only so much the E could do for me, so my expectations weren't too wild, and I've been thrilled with the changes.

I am on a similar path. Good luck to you.

P.S. The best smoked brisket (looking at your profile) I ever had was down in Texas. It was slow smoked over mesquite.

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Would it be better to risk baldness and be a man? IDK

hmm I think I could handle the bald, I've a nice shaped head and lived bald for a year in the prime of being 16 and going through Chemotherapy.... It would also make wearing cosplay wigs easier :)

Buuuuut, at the same time I am a pretty vain person, and I enjoy my hair... on my head only >< I wouldn't want it to fall from the head and onto everywhere else! Thought it's also my own personal standing on my body, I'm not horribly dysphoric on most days and top surgery is really the only this that screams to me from the depths of everything even on my most 'girly' of days I glare at my chest ^.^ (which... is already kind of fuzzy for a girl >.>''')

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Would it be better to risk baldness and be a man? IDK

hmm I think I could handle the bald, I've a nice shaped head and lived bald for a year in the prime of being 16 and going through Chemotherapy.... It would also make wearing cosplay wigs easier :)

Buuuuut, at the same time I am a pretty vain person, and I enjoy my hair... on my head only >< I wouldn't want it to fall from the head and onto everywhere else! Thought it's also my own personal standing on my body, I'm not horribly dysphoric on most days and top surgery is really the only this that screams to me from the depths of everything even on my most 'girly' of days I glare at my chest ^.^ (which... is already kind of fuzzy for a girl >.>''')

Lol, I've got chest fuzz too. XD

But I got a weird shaped head, no way I could handle bald.

Yet recent things have come to light that really make me think about what I want in the transitioning process...

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I hate being bald up top and furry everywehere else. It makes no sense to me either, like what's the purpose of all this stuff everywhere else?!

Hair removal is definately on the table, and even my lover approves of that. There's also treatments to return hair to my head that I've only heard of and haven't investigated. So there may be ways to counter balding, but I wouldn't know.

Currently we're using nair and DIY waxing to try and keep my rainforests in check. Not sure of the results yet, too early.

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As for myself, I see myself as being 40% man and 60% female. So, I definitely want to start on hormones. As far as surgery, I would want to wait and see what my views are at, after a year or 2 of taking HRT. Although, my gut has been telling me yes to surgery for like 20 years... Man writing out the years like that makes me really think why I've been waiting this long.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Jo-I-Dunno

Internal identity? Some gender other than male or female.

Hormones? I've been on hormones for... 18 months? Still male to the world. I swim with a wetsuit instead of swim trunks, but other than that, it hasn't affected my outward presentation. I'd like hormones to take me further, though. I'd like to be seen as a female not because I'm "female on the inside" but because I just think it's a more attractive look to have! I just don't want to use clothing or makeup to do it. My "body" needs to be female. The change in identity would be a welcome side-effect.

Facial hair removal? I'm going to weekly sessions. It's expensive and time consuming and it hurts! But I LOOOVE the idea of having a smooth face.

SRS? Expensive. Painful. Dangerous. I'm asexual so I'm not worried about "fun time". And having options for how I pee is nice...

Like with hormones, I'd prefer the lady-parts (actually, I'd prefer nothing, but no one does that), but hormones are ceap and easy. SRS sounds like way more than it's worth.

I'm taking it as it comes. I'm "prettier" every day, and if I get "pretty" enough, maybe I'll change up my presentation a tad. Piece by piece. If I become female, I want it to be gradual, not overnight.

I'm only 19 but I've been thinking a lot about the future and prospect of having a family. Being asexual kind of makes it hard to have a partner. My ideal partner would just be like a really close and sharing roommate. My best friends know this is how I feel! but no one's taken the bait...

I'm way more interested in having kid(s) though. Not genetically; I'm probably long-gone infertile 'cause of hormones. I want to adopt someday, but I imagine a single genderqueer male would have a hard time adopting. Foster parent maybe? Helping young teens who need a home?

This is my only real fear about my current path in life.

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Guest Rowan19

Told my mum I wanted to start T today, no history of baldness in my family so I no longer fear that side effect. The worst anyone in my family has hairy grizzly bearness, and I've already got that.

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Guest runner2guy

I'm a guy who tries to live as naturally as possible in our industrial urban world - a self confessed ecofreak - and I've learned to live and love that sort of life, so I've never been interested in any sort of hormone treatment and certainly would never consider any sort of surgery. I am happy as I am and as nature made me, mixed up bits and all. It's been made easy for me by my jobs - organic farmer and work in a gay-friendly pub, where I'm taken for what I am, and have never had any hassle. Another important thing. At present I'm young, and my thinking is influenced by sexual thoughts of whatever sort. But one day I'll be old, and what will I think then of any surgery that I might have had long before?

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Internal identity? Some gender other than male or female.

Hormones? I've been on hormones for... 18 months? Still male to the world. I swim with a wetsuit instead of swim trunks, but other than that, it hasn't affected my outward presentation. I'd like hormones to take me further, though. I'd like to be seen as a female not because I'm "female on the inside" but because I just think it's a more attractive look to have! I just don't want to use clothing or makeup to do it. My "body" needs to be female. The change in identity would be a welcome side-effect.

Facial hair removal? I'm going to weekly sessions. It's expensive and time consuming and it hurts! But I LOOOVE the idea of having a smooth face.

SRS? Expensive. Painful. Dangerous. I'm asexual so I'm not worried about "fun time". And having options for how I pee is nice...

Like with hormones, I'd prefer the lady-parts (actually, I'd prefer nothing, but no one does that), but hormones are ceap and easy. SRS sounds like way more than it's worth.

I'm taking it as it comes. I'm "prettier" every day, and if I get "pretty" enough, maybe I'll change up my presentation a tad. Piece by piece. If I become female, I want it to be gradual, not overnight.

I'm only 19 but I've been thinking a lot about the future and prospect of having a family. Being asexual kind of makes it hard to have a partner. My ideal partner would just be like a really close and sharing roommate. My best friends know this is how I feel! but no one's taken the bait...

I'm way more interested in having kid(s) though. Not genetically; I'm probably long-gone infertile 'cause of hormones. I want to adopt someday, but I imagine a single genderqueer male would have a hard time adopting. Foster parent maybe? Helping young teens who need a home?

This is my only real fear about my current path in life.

Jo, you are a very interesting person, and I think you're wonderful. I totally dig you're line about wanting neither, like if there was a physical representation of it rather than being strictly psychological. I've dreamed about that. . . an entire race, a species where there is no male or female, or any of the side effects of having such things. But ay. . . dreams. . .

I'm a guy who tries to live as naturally as possible in our industrial urban world - a self confessed ecofreak - and I've learned to live and love that sort of life, so I've never been interested in any sort of hormone treatment and certainly would never consider any sort of surgery. I am happy as I am and as nature made me, mixed up bits and all. It's been made easy for me by my jobs - organic farmer and work in a gay-friendly pub, where I'm taken for what I am, and have never had any hassle. Another important thing. At present I'm young, and my thinking is influenced by sexual thoughts of whatever sort. But one day I'll be old, and what will I think then of any surgery that I might have had long before?

I completely admire thoughts of accepting what nature gave us, and living with it without remorse. I truly long for that. . .

My problem comes with my idea that nature has been perverted my humankind. That mankinds' ridiculous ideals about pretty much everything, gender related or not, are absolutely unnatural, as well as completely accepted as reality. I do not believe that mankind today is as nature intended, or is anything near what could be considered natural.

And if it is. . . I reject it body and soul.

I love nature, but I despise humanity. I feel like a contradiction, but that's my truth. I don't believe nature, as it is and should be, can be improved upon, but I also don't believe human history has been any sort of natural design. To be blunt, people done screwed up everything.

I don't feel I am as nature intended, even if my body is right by nature. There's more to me than that.

That withstanding, I do love what you say, I feel very strongly towards your words.

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      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
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