Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Lycaenidae

Love....

Recommended Posts

Guest Lycaenidae

(sorry if this could be posted in a better sub-forum, I'm still getting used to it here)

I didn't create this account with the attention of going on this rant as soon as I got here, but... I just can't stop thinking about it, I have to talk about it.

So there's this guy.... Well, first, some background info. I like guys, but that's something I only accepted very recently. I guess for a long time I was afraid of letting myself believe that I did because I was so afraid of feeling anything at all that could let me be thought of as feminine, back when I was still fighting the thought of being transgender. I consider myself to have a lot of self-control though, even when fighting against my instincts, so even though from time to time I could tell the thought of being with a guy was possibly going to start, I was able to successfully hold it back every time, and I never had any true thoughts about it at all until recently. Even after I came out as transgender it took me a little while to accept it, just because I was so conditioned against it. I was still holding on to that "I like girls" idea that's actually "I want to be those girls". Once I started opening myself up to the truth... well, it became really, REALLY obvious very quickly that I do, indeed, like guys. :rolleyes: Alright, now you're pretty much all caught up.

So there's this guy.... Basically, he's the coolest, sweetest, most sensitive, and all-around most wonderful guy ever. :wub: He doesn't think so though. :( I just want him to understand how great he is and how much he means to me.... I can't stop thinking about him, when I think about being with him I lose my mind, when I can picture him being happy and lying next to me I don't think anything could ever possibly make me happier, and when I think about the possibility of losing him even just as a friend I cry nonstop for hours.... I'm 20 years old, and he's the first real crush I've ever had. :blush: He's one of my best friends too. I've told him things I don't tell anyone else and he's done the same to me. We have so many things in common, and we just playfully poke fun at each other about the things we disagree on. Here's where it gets harder though.... He was one of the very first people I came out to, back before I had any true intentions (beyond dreaming) to transition and I just needed friends to talk to about it before I totally lost it, and he's been fully supportive the whole way through, it's just that... I don't know, I feel like my chances are just already ruined because I knew him before all of this. I know that if I had met him as a girl then we would have gotten together almost immediately, and the worst part is I'm pretty sure he knows it too.... But now there's just this big "I don't know how this works" awkwardness about it. I'm terrified to try to do anything about it because I just don't know how he would feel about it right now... and if bringing it up didn't work out I'm afraid it would mess up our friendship. :( I mean, I would definitely wait a while until I was much further into transition to do it anyway, but still... I don't know. >_<

I just needed to get that out....

Share this post


Link to post
Guest mistygirl7

Aww, well since he knows about you. Did you tell him that you really want to be a girl and that you like guys too? I would start with that and if he's still cool about it and supportive, I would stop there. And then later if you are still friends and nothing has change there could be a chance in finding out if he may like you as well. It happen to on of my friend that went through the same thing you are going through and after awhile they've began dating. So you never know. I wish you the best for whatever happens. Also IV went through the phase of not trying to like guys as well but yeah I really like guys myself. Hang in there

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Amanda Whyte

My heart goes out to you. I hope everything works out the best way it can for you. **Hugs**

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Mia J

Well you know we girls should not be too pushy when it comes to guys.

So go about it as most girls would. You are already close so start with a little playful flirting and see how he reacts. If it is positive then you can flirt a little more until you get him to make the first move.

Mia

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Donna Jean

.

Well, he knows about you now.....And he's still close to you......That's a HUGE plus!

I hope that the rest goes as smoothly!

Huggs

Dee Jay

Share this post


Link to post
Guest leela_anima

how much do you know about his sexuality??... but ya, personally, i'd stop there, you told him and he's cool, that's awesome. next, i would get on hrt asap, and become one hot chick!(you're 20, so it would work quite well) then maybe move somewhere for work or school or something and be just long distance until after the hrt kicked in, hair grew out, makeup skills leveled up, and fashion wardrobe has changed, then come back and totally surprise him as a hot lady!... but that's just me, i'm suggesting you should do that but ya, communication is key here, think things through, some things that are once said cannot be unsaid.... :D

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Gregg Jameson

LIfe is full of twists and turns. We just never know all of what lies around the next corner! This keeps life interesting!

I truly do not know how to advise you in this situation. I wish I had some helpful insight to offer.

You are brave to write about this. My heart goes out to you.

I have always valued a good solid, honest friendship above all else. Many long-term romantic relationships are built upon the foundation of a very solid mutual friendship. If I were in your shoes, I think I would be sure to maintain, and to further enhance, the friendship. From there, I'd let the cards fall where they may... over time.

In the meantime, I'd suggest you fully intend you each have the most fulfilling and joyful lives possible, whether or not you are ever romantically involved with one another. :D

Trust your life will become truly fulfilling to you. Put your conscious intentions into making a joyful life for yourself, no matter the choices made by anyone else. Best wishes to you during this challenging period of your life.

Brad

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 15 Guests (See full list)

    • Kyle
    • Kenna Dixon
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      Sad to say, this is running about the same as it is here in the U.S. and may not be as bad in a couple of places, but still it is pretty bad overall.  Great Britain has about the same stats on H8ers, minus the KKK of course, but the Fundamentalist and Roman Catholic influences are used as the same excuses to just plain hate from what I have heard.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/washington/articles/2018-01-19/senate-passes-conversion-ban-transgender-bullying-bills   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://inews.co.uk/news/uk/third-transgender-people-victim-hate-crime/   This is very troubling, but given the very negative press and public opinions, hardly surprising.  The question is, what, if anything, will be done about it?   Carolyn Marie
    • Charlize
      Seat belts are not required but highly advised.  Actually i took me time to feel much and even then changes were slow and subtle.  Enjoy your journey!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Timber Wolf
      Oh my gosh, I love it! Like stepping into a bygone era!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
    • Charlize
      This is my other baby.  It's a "52 chevy 1 ton flatbed that we use mostly for farm markets.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Cbxshawn
      Congratulations, get ready for the ride and hold on. I started HRT about 14 months ago at 41. I have loved every minute of my journey thus far. I won't lie, it's a roller coaster. Good luck on your journey and do keep us posted.    Hugs    Shawnna 
    • Shiratori
      My GP finally received the confirmation from Daventry GIC to prescribe hormones for me. I'll be on leuprorelin injections to stop production of T and estradiol valerate tablets. Shame I have to wait until after the weekend for the pharmacy to get them in, but I've waited this long so a few more days don't matter too much. Looks like I'll be on HRT in time for my 46th birthday on Wednesday.
    • amanda is cute MK3
      I have 2010 CRV  i did drive for years my parents 3/4 ton gm van and then their 1 ton dodge van.  i do have a thing for military trucks  i like the M809 series and some of the large german and russian trucks  
    • TessaOKC
      Here we go again Carolyn!!! You throw meaningful articles out there that usually result in really good  debates, thank you !!!   I have read two books by Jen Boylan and she is as real as they get. I also like that she's from Maine !!   The listed article really hit home while reading a quote from Kristen Beck, “What you wear, what color you are, your religion, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity has no basis on whether you are a criminal or not.”  Yes indeed. I support Eric Snowden and the courage it took for him to expose unprecedented abuses of power by the United States. His motives were clear, his intentions were more than obvious. Perhaps I still need more understanding,  but I have yet to wrap my head around the motives and intentions of the information released by Chelsea Manning...??? All I do know is that there is a sea of negativism surrounding her  and now her unqualified run for public office.   I spend hours every week at the  VA hospital attending LGBT group meetings. The horrible comments and ridicule I see on a weekly basis toward our transgender Vets walking the halls is unmatched by what I have experienced in public. A good friend straightened me out on this. He says the VA is filled with  right wingers. Yes it appears this is true. Since this whole Chelsea Manning running for Senate thing started it has gotten even worse, trust me!   I have posted on this site previously  that I merely wish Manning could be grateful for being free and go live a quiet, happy  and public free life. Jen Boylan echos this. I oh- so- admire the piss and vinegar Manning has but she is in fact a convicted felon embodied in a sea of perceived public hatred.   Like the hateful Vets at the VA, I don't think we will ever change their minds about accepting trans humans. . Not in this lifetime. Say what you will but it is my true belief that we need positive examples. Though she's not my favorite but Kristen Beck is right up there. Retired Navy Seal that served with honor and distinction. The author of this article, Professor Jennifer Boylan is another. This list goes on and on, doctors, lawyers, politicians, successful entrepreneurs . I support Chelsea manning as a trans woman and human being. I do not support her for a  Senate run, and her public exposure merely adds fuel to the fire of hatred already directed toward innocent trans people like me and you ......   In the brutal world of public opinion there is a saying; "Its not what you are but what people think you are."  I love and deeply respect our transgender community. You will never find such courageous people as represented in the transgender world. We proudly serve in  every profession, military branch, labor force and service industries. We never ask for recognition or a pat on the back, all most of us want is to be allowed to live our authentic lives free of murder, rape and ridicule.  Is Manning helping that cause?? What is your opinion??   Sincerely,   Tess
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Upcoming Events

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      64,705
    • Total Posts
      585,802
  • TransPulse Partners

×