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Guest Emily Ray

I met with my nutrisionist today.

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Guest Emily Ray

Today, I went to my first appointment with my nutrisionist. She had a bunch of questions for me about my eating habits as they are now. I tried to answer them to the best of my ability. I know it is a needed step in the recovery process, but I would rather not talk about food! I don't want to think about it and I don't want to eat it. I can tell this is going to be a long battle. She asked me what percentage of me wanted to get better and with all the honesty I could muster I told her 40%, but now sitting at home I'm not sure that it is even that high. In fact since yesterday, I have a terrible desire to restrict. I have been good about not doing it so far. But, the desire is so strong.

On another note, I have this really intense desire to run away from my life here in Minnesota and return to Tijuana, Mexico/San Diego area. I know the two issues are interrelated. At least for now I won't act on my desire to run. The clock is ticking though and it grows louder.

Huggs

Emily

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Svenna

Hi Emily!

That is great news about starting with the new nutritionist, that could be a very powerful first step towards a better reality for you. I don't have an eating disorder, but I do have PLENTY of diagnosed disorders with similar dynamics, so I can sorta relate a bit to the need to 'control'...

But, mostly, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are stronger than you realize. I believe you can (and will) work your way through the things that currently challenge you. I sense there are more internal resources in you than even you realize. Don't sell yourself short, you possess the raw material and tools to create a new you and a fresh place in this world, too. It takes time and effort, but what else is there to do? lol..

Hang on, Em, better days are ahead!

Please try to remember that YOU are important, just as you are, and you are worthy of every effort to make your life better, safer, happier and more meaningful...

Love, love, love to you, my sister! Svenna

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Guest Elizabeth K

Emily - now honey, ya gotta be you!

I think all those ideas running through your head are a terrible distraction. Focus on being more relaxed and happy? All that other stuff will fix itself.

Be that strong woman you are, my read headed beauty!

Lizzy

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