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Carolyn Marie

My First 12 Months

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Carolyn Marie

Saturday marked exactly one year since I came out at work, and began my RLE. I've been posting about my experiences pretty regularly since, but I can summarize a few things.

In the last year; my S/O has become quite comfortable being with me in public, and we really haven't had any awkward moments. She is quite used to waiters and others saying "how are you, ladies?" We go into public restrooms together, and even hold hands sometimes. I don't think she likes having people think of her as lesbian, but the need to have that touch, that physical connection with me, seems to outweigh any mental discomfort.

I've kept very busy with various activist activities, something I hadn't really planned on, but which I've stumbled into and found I enjoy very much. I think I'll continue doing that work for a couple more years, but I can already sense that it has its limits, and will enjoy just as much the time I can call it quits and once again become anonymous and have my time to myself.

My physical changes have slowed, but I am satisfied with where I'm at. I will probably have a procedure or two done next year, but probably not GRS. My reasons on that are my own.

My work life has been just great, much better than I had imagined. I am accepted completely, and by 98% of everyone I see often. My co-workers don't seem to mind me talking about trans issues - I think they find it fascinating, and when something comes up in the news, they seem to relish talking to me about it and enjoy having the "inside scoop."

Mentally and emotionally, I am where I've always wanted to be, and I can truthfully say I am happy with who I am and what my life has become. It's a life I've dreamed about since I was 7, and its worth the wait.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest

Hi Carolyn,

I hope that my results are as good in another few months. Thank you for being my fearless leader!

Love, Megan

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Guest Robin Winter

I hope I look good in green, cuz that's about the color I am right now ^_^

Envy aside, I'm very happy for you *Hugs*

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Guest Risu

Has it really been a year? How time flies!

Your stories have continued to inspire hope again and again and I am very thankful to you for sharing them. Belated Happy First Birthday Caorlyn!

It sounds like you've had a pretty good year all in all and I wish you many many more good years full of love, acceptance and tolrtance!

*hugs*

~Jade.

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Svenna

Carolyn,

Your journey has inspired so many of us and it will continue to inspire long after you slip away, just another woman living her life..

It seems to me that all things must pass, and when you do make that leap away from 'trans-ness', we will still think of you and support and love you in your absence. YOU have made a huge contribution already, do as you must when the time comes, all will be well...

Love and MUCH respect, dear Lady!

:) Svenna

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Guest Krisina

I'm glad to hear one year later, being full time you are being well received, accepted with work and your s.o. is accepting of you in public too. I'm sure people in your personal life too. The emotionaans mental well being must be the best part after all these years.

Krisina

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Guest Donna Jean

Mentally and emotionally, I am where I've always wanted to be, and I can truthfully say I am happy with who I am and what my life has become. It's a life I've dreamed about since I was 7, and its worth the wait.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

OMG, I hear THAT, Girlfriend!

And it's been fun watching you watch me watch YOU!

BIGGGGEST HUGGGGGGS!

Dee Jay

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Bulldog1948

Carolyn Marie,

You are a super lady. An inspiration to othere here. We are Blessed to have your leadership help. Plus, you are always wiiling to help others when they need it.

Mike

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Carolyn Marie

Thanks so much, everyone.

One down, 20, 30 to go? I hope so!

Love

Carolyn Marie

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      Hello I am Chris.This was my abbreviated name at birth.I Have been with a wonderfully careing,And totally trusting gender counselor for close to ten months now.I Have been on hormone therapy ,Monitored by a Careing and trusted Doctor Since October of 2015.The three of us combined,Working together.I the client,They the professionals.Have sent a letter to surgeon /s.That within this year,Help me toward achieving my life long goal of reassignment surgery.I am true to my self  excited!This is not my biological biography,Yet away for myself to open up with others who are shamed oppressing us to keep our inner knowledge ie,A secret.I was raised by a careing single mother.Who worked and provided the best to her ability.I have five other siblings.The black and white,My mother.Bless her,Did not ,Would not,Understand as a tortured child.All my feelings as a female trapped in a boys body.I repeatedly explained these experienced daily feelings to her.I kept a daily diary,That allowed me in expanding my writing skills.Vocabulary,And above all.Released some frustration.I had gotten a job as a child delivering a local weekly newspaper,And along with that in the summers picked berries,beans and cucumbers.With my earned money,I would purchase girls clothes,shoes,etc..   These age appropriate girls clothes were a release,I could dress up,Dress down at bedtime.Yet with my brothers and sisters around,I couldn't.For they would tell our mother.Strict punishment.So I learned the keep it in the closet.Everything feminine I owned was tossed in the garbage.My diary read and thrown away.My eldest sister sharing contents of passage with her close friends.And the older classmates teased me repeatedly.Yet I go right back at purchasing Jr clothing,Writing And Reading any and all subject pertaining too transgender people and their individual behaviors within society.My mother believing fetishes,Crossdressing,Homosexuality.Was my motivation.All were flatly incorrectly diagnose.I am a female,And I want act out as normal as my sister's,Their girlfriend,My girlfriends/ classmates.I n closing,Back in the decades of the 1960s-70s.Not much was acceptable about transsexuals,Labels were a standard.And wrong.I was miserable as a child,And it became worse in my life as a teen,And into my twenties.Onset of male hormones,My beautiful soft voice turning into an alto sax.(Cry ,tears time)Suicidal times.I had never discuss with anyone," The Family shame".I once ,accompanied with my mother to the doctors office visit.Tried discussing I was a girl trapped inside this hairy boys body.Mom,quelling/ slapping my mouth as I talked to my doctor.His reply was listen to Your mother.I drew a conclusion from this doctor visit as a black and white.Never mentioning I am a female trapped inside a males body to any one,Professional or not.Which was totally wrong!And stealing estrogens,birth control pills,so as to stop androgens.Is also a wrong I did! Drinking alcohol after turning twenty one,So I could forget and also a means to magnifying estrogen.I smoked cigarettes,stimulating me as I write in my diary.Only drug I tried was one leafy kind.I somehow was in a pattern of self destruct.I stopped all those ,and been clean of all since 2009.In ending.I had wish that I seek help as a child!💗
    • MSCHRIS58
      Hello I am Chris.This was my abbreviated name at birth.I Have been with a wonderfully careing,And totally trusting gender counselor for close to ten months now.I Have been on hormone therapy ,Monitored by a Careing and trusted Doctor Since October of 2015.The three of us combined,Working together.I the client,They the professionals.Have sent a letter to surgeon /s.That within this year,Help me toward achieving my life long goal of reassignment surgery.I am true to my self  excited!This is not my biological biography,Yet away for myself to open up with others who are shamed oppressing us to keep our inner knowledge ie,A secret.I was raised by a careing single mother.Who worked and provided the best to her ability.I have five other siblings.The black and white,My mother.Bless her,Did not ,Would not,Understand as a tortured child.All my feelings as a female trapped in a boys body.I repeatedly explained these experienced daily feelings to her.I kept a daily diary,That allowed me in expanding my writing skills.Vocabulary,And above all.Released some frustration.I had gotten a job as a child delivering a local weekly newspaper,And along with that in the summers picked berries,beans and cucumbers.With my earned money,I would purchase girls clothes,shoes,etc..   These age appropriate girls clothes were a release,I could dress up,Dress down at bedtime.Yet with my brothers and sisters around,I couldn't.For they would tell our mother.Strict punishment.So I learned the keep it in the closet.Everything feminine I owned was tossed in the garbage.My diary read and thrown away.My eldest sister sharing contents of passage with her close friends.And the older classmates teased me repeatedly.Yet I go right back at purchasing Jr clothing,Writing And Reading any and all subject pertaining too transgender people and their individual behaviors within society.My mother believing fetishes,Crossdressing,Homosexuality.Was my motivation.All were flatly incorrectly diagnose.I am a female,And I want act out as normal as my sister's,Their girlfriend,My girlfriends/ classmates.I n closing,Back in the decades of the 1960s-70s.Not much was acceptable about transsexuals,Labels were a standard.And wrong.I was miserable as a child,And it became worse in my life as a teen,And into my twenties.Onset of male hormones,My beautiful soft voice turning into an alto sax.(Cry ,tears time)Suicidal times.I had never discuss with anyone," The Family shame".I once ,accompanied with my mother to the doctors office visit.Tried discussing I was a girl trapped inside this hairy boys body.Mom,quelling/ slapping my mouth as I talked to my doctor.His reply was listen to Your mother.I drew a conclusion from this doctor visit as a black and white.Never mentioning I am a female trapped inside a males body to any one,Professional or not.Which was totally wrong!And stealing estrogens,birth control pills,so as to stop androgens.Is also a wrong I did! Drinking alcohol after turning twenty one,So I could forget and also a means to magnifying estrogen.I smoked cigarettes,stimulating me as I write in my diary.Only drug I tried was one leafy kind.I somehow was in a pattern of self destruct.I stopped all those ,and been clean of all since 2009.In ending.I had wish that I seek help as a child!💗
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