Went Truly Clothes Shopping For the First Time

[Guest Anath]

Sorry if this isn't actually the correct forum for this, it was the closest I could think of.

I finally bit the bullet and truly went shopping for clothes for the very first time. Before I'd always go with my mother, who doesn't know about my TG feelings. She'd usually be the one actually doing most of the choosing. I didn't care, clothes are clothes; but out of the corner of my eye I'd spot a cute skirt or cami and die a little on the inside, knowing that it was "forbidden" of me to actually get them.

Today, after hours of mental preparation and planning what time would be the best to go, I walked into the women's section of a Walmart and bought an actual outfit. It was terrifying, knowing that people were likely just seeing a perverted college student trying to satisfy some sexual perversion. I must've circled around the men's underwear section a dozen times trying to find the right moment to go when there wasn't many people. Thank god for self checkouts, I probably wouldn't have been able to go through with it if I had to have someone else ring up my items.

It's not much, and I'm still too afraid of social prejudice to go outside my home wearing them, but I am now the proud owner of a hot pink camisole and a pair of women's jeans and because I was able to actually look at them in person, they fit!

[Guest ~Brenda~]

That was very brave of you hon.

Congratulations.

Love

Brenda

[Guest LilyRose]

My Walmart has no self check outs at all. That's what's stopping me from going out and getting what I want. i don't want to see those looks, especially in my religion heavy community. However, I am happy for you! Keep up your courage!

[Bulldog1948]

Play it off to the check out clerks that you are buying your sister and or girl friend a clothing gift. Just remain calm and you can pull it off.

[Guest]

Congratulations Anath!

The first time is always nerve wrecking.

It does get easier with practice though.

The store workers really don't care what you by they simply want your moneys in the end.

I wish you a lot more successful shopping trips.

Remember that Christmas is coming so you're doing early Christmas shopping.giggle

Sounds like you found a wonderful outfit.

Huggs,

Joann

[Cyndee]

I loved reading this post and congratulations on your outfit, it must feel great to have these things now. Your post conjurs up the emotions of building one's courage to go shopping for girl clothes, mostly because of this percieved stigma we must overcome. I truely relate to this post, I was about your age when I did this for the first time. I can remember all the looking around to see who might be in the area as I shopped for these things, worrying about essentially nothing, oh my. I remember my early conversations with the sales clerks, this was long before self check out, I was so nervous, I know it must have shown back then.

I would try and put those thoughts away about what others "might" be thinking if they see you, easier said than done I realize, because ultimately others really don't matter, it's you that matters, it's your money, your taste in clothes, and by gosh if you want to buy some nice clothes, no one has the right to suggest to you otherwise even in Texas. The next time you go shopping it will get easier, and then next time and the next time, till you reach a point of it being "just your clothes". Shopping for nice clothes is one of life's true pleasures.

Hugs and do enjoy.

Cynthia -

[Charlize]

The first trip of what might be many. Like Cynthia i so remember the first conversations i had with tellers. One actually asked me why i was buying women's clothes. Gulp... I told her my wife was handicapped and i was shopping for her. She said i had good taste and a lucky wife. Each time was an adventure, and i loved it. I still enjoy shopping for clothes and like you as a male i couldn't care less. Want an excuse for another trip.....Remember Halloween is coming soon and costume shopping sometimes gets us past the fear or disapproval.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Anath,

The first time is always hard the same as when you first learned to walk.

First you crawled, and the you stood up and walked.

You may have stumbled a few times, but eventually you were able to walk.

I go to Target, and their are no self-checkouts.

The staff is always willing to go out of their way to help me.

I have never been "Outed" in the store.

I also use female fitting rooms to try on my purchases before buying them saving a trip having to return them.

One more thing I have to say " I DO NOT pass completely as a woman and am "Obviously" Trans.

I have gotten to know most of the sales people by their first name and I always greet them and they greet me when I go to the store.

A good personality and smile goes a long way in overcoming flaws in my appearance.

When I first Came-Out and Transitioned in 2007, I was so happy with the way I was treated in Target that I sent a letter to the CEO telling him how well I was treated in the store.

The more you go shopping the easier and more confidant it will become.

Here is an excerpt from my Introduction and I hope that it will change your opinion of Social Prejudice.

I also have to thank the compassionate residents of BOTH NYC and NYS for allowing me to “Come-Out & Transition” safely. I got rid of my car and use mass transit exclusively which also played a large part in my SAFE transition. The more I went out, and I didn’t pass well at the time, and I was NEVER discriminated in public my confidence and self-esteem increased to what it is today. I was so happy by the way I was treated in public I even sent letters to the Gov. of NYS, and the Mayor of NYC thanking them and the public for treating me BETTER THAN MY OWN FAMILY. They both replied back to me.

I wish you Success and Happiness on your Journey.

Please let us know about your progress.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest Guest_]

Hi Anath. Shopping is the thing I enjoy the most. Before I found Laura's I was so scared to go shopping I to would walk around and look for an opening just like, but with all the knowledge and understanding that has been given to me I have more confidence in myself that I thought I would never have. Just the other day I stopped at a wal mart and purchased two pair of knee hi stockings and two pair of panties. I went up to the cashier who was a younger women and placed the items on the counter. While she was scanning the first pair of panties she looked at me and asked if they were for me. I looked at her without batting an eye and I said yes they were. She commented on the pretty colors I had chosen, and I thanked her. She said to me that she thought it was a little early to be buying under ware. It was around 6:00 A.M. I replied back, that I take the opportunity when it ever it arises. I can honestly say that a year ago that would never of happened. Give yourself time, and let your confidence grow as mine has. Hugs to you Amber L.

[Guest Anath]

I think joining LP has given me a huge boost to my confidence. I just took my dog out for a walk in my new outfit.

Love you all!

Anath

[Guest Guest_]

You Go Girl! Hugs Amber L.

[Guest DianeATL]

Congratulations on your courage, The first time is always the hardest but you will learn as others have said, most people are happy to help you, few if any really care enough to give you grief about it. The more natural and focused you can be on what you are doing instead of looking around to see who is watching, the less attention you will receive.

I now buy all kinds of stuff either in girl mode or boy mode and never bat an eye (unless the clerk is cute).

You go girl,

Diane

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Great News Anath,

I always enjoy reading positive stories about how Laura's Playground has helped and inspired people gain confidence.

Keep up the good work.

I wish you Success and Happiness on your Journey.

Hugs,

Carla

[Cyndee]

I think joining LP has given me a huge boost to my confidence. I just took my dog out for a walk in my new outfit.

Love you all!

Anath

[Guest sally-jane]

i did my first shop the other day as well but i didnt realise that i went down a dress size did i and bought it 1 size too big lol so im off to the store again to day to get mine

[Guest Rebecca A]

wow Anath, that's awesome, that's how I started my ventures into the real world as well dressing for short periods and walking the dogs, and slowly but surely getting more comfortable with myself. Also when you buy clothes as long as you're confident and act like you belong there no one really cares that much, like others have said you could be buying something for someone else, and people these days are so self-focused they hardly notice others around them anyway.