mom, unsure how to handle

[Guest G_Unit]

then i need to really start eating more if i want to stay the weight i am once i start HRT. i currently weigh around 185.. just above what i was 10 yrs ago graduating High School. Though i would love that weight again.

[Guest Jo-88]

Your metabolism (and lean muscle mass, which contributes to you RMR) will go down not up, so you will want to eat less not more otherwise your BMI will shoot through the roof.

[Guest G_Unit]

Okay. That makes sense.

[Guest Jo-88]

Yea if you ever thought that women were just being whiny about how hard it is to lose weight... haha you are in for a shock! It its definitely more difficult to stay fit as a woman, and anyone who thinks differently hasn't had estrogen coursing through their veins! But you will be ok, from the sound of it you are pretty good at maintaining your weight so after that initial re-learning period you will be A ok! I have faith in you

[Guest KimberlyF]

I'm not saying this is the case, but is it possible that you are projecting some of these unrealistic expectations as to what HRT will do, for example, to your mother, and she is just cautious because they don't make sense to her?

One thing that most parents worry about is us getting hurt-physically or emotionally. She may think that you starting HRT and wearing women's clothes with facial hair and a very male strut could end badly for you.

My cousin has been 100% supportive from day one! but has told me many times that since I told her, she worries about me a lot more than she did.

And your therapist is a psychiatrist and not psychologist? They really should have a decent idea of what HRT can and can't do because they are a MD.

The HRT subject is confusing because there is so much misinformation out there. Everything we know is mostly based on word of mouth that is passed on as fact always, all the time. So much depends on the individual and the specific meds used. As an example, one T blocker used is finasteride. One reason it is prescribed to other people is to treat male pattern baldness. So can HRT cause hair to regrow? It can.

Though the Adam's apple and voice are two big flags to me as someone dealing with your transition should know that these are issues that may need to be addressed.

[Guest LizMarie]

Facial hair and voice are the two biggest things that identify you as "male" right off the bat. Mannerisms, walk, speech patterns, behavior patterns, these can identify you as male as well.

Regarding voice - what often happens is that as a transwoman begins retraining her voice, she begins to habituate the position of the larynx higher in the throat. This is one (not the only) of the ways used to minimize male voice resonance. It often results in a minor pitch change as well, without attempting any other pitch change, simply because the vocal tract is now shorter. This also has the incidental side effect of further reducing the profile of the adam's apple since it is sitting higher in the throat.

None of that is from HRT, just practice on voice. There are increasing numbers of women, who having mastered male voice resonance suppression but not happy with where their pitch sits even after voice therapy, that choose to have voice feminization surgery. To the best of my knowledge there is precisely one VFS surgeon in the world who has had consistently outstanding results related to pitch. Many others have had mixed results but also try to deal with both pitch and resonance. If you wish more information about that, send me a PM and I will provide it. There is an old misconception that VFS is almost always horrible so don't do it, that the risks are too high. This was based on studies done by Dr. Anne Lawrence that concluded in 2004. However, Dr. Lawrence herself has admitted that much has changed in VFS in the last 10 years so her results are not nearly as useful now as before.

As for mastering these things like walk, mannerisms, etc., many people master them better by doing, that is, by simply beginning to present and go. Others prefer to spend more time in the closet perfecting their presentation. There's no right or wrong way. Just do what works for you.

Finally, as for HRT, others have provided some of the expected side effects. However, response to HRT and hair loss is highly individual. There are indeed people who have experienced hair regrowth due to HRT alone. They are not the majority. If you have hair loss issues, you should speak to a hair loss specialist, look into a prescription for propecia, purchase topical Minoxidil (5%) and use that daily, and potentially consider weekly microneedling, if you are going to use Minoxidil. You may also decide to look into hair transplants. They are very well done now by most hair restoration surgeons, so don't be afraid of them if you feel the need to improve your feminine hair line. Again, if you need further information, please PM me.

[Guest G_Unit]

Kimberly.. No my therapist and psychiatrist are two separate people.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Kimberly.. No my therapist and psychiatrist are two separate people.

OK...you prob mentioned this on another topic because I'm lost. Who are you seeing for what?

You mentioned earlier...

So yeah. my psychiatrist said start dressing, acting and behaving like a woman before we talk about our next step. So who knows more here?

Is this who you discuss your transition with, and what type of next step?

[Guest G_Unit]

I've been discussing it with both. My psychiatrist and I are looking for an HRT specialist which I found in Milwaukee. Therapist is making sure i'm handling the whole transitional process very well. and we deal with what problems come up. So I am guessing my Psych's next step is hormones. Which I need my Psych to write a letter for the Specialist then i can schedule a first consult and get going.

Stacy

[Charlize]

It sounds like you are handling things well dear. My GT told me to wait for electrolysis until i'd been on HRT for 3 years. I'm fortunate in having a light beard anyway and it will thin over time. That has been her experience and she has a grew deal of experience. If i had a dark beard i don't know if i could wait. I am glad to be on HRT but it certainly not a miracle right away. I'm glad you are getting the help to do things right. It does take the help of those who care and have helped others. The early pioneers had many problems. Keep us posted and enjoy the journey.

Hugs,

Charlie