The Marcie Chronicles

[MarcieMarie12]

I had my first outing as me tonight. It was somewhat anti-climatic though. I didn't get hasseled by the Westboro baptist church of their wannabees, I did not get clocked (as far as I can tell). JUst had a nice dinner with a friend and talked about all sorts of stuff. Thanks for being there for me Courtney! I'm not sure I would have gotten over my worries to do this without you!

How did it feel? I wasn't scared, maybe a little worried about my appearance but Courtney helped calm my nerves. I did learn why pencil skirts aren't a good fit for my body, made it work with a black shawl though. We also got a complimented by the server! Said we were a pair of lovely ladies!

Did I feel out of place?--No.

Did it feel wrong or right?--Definitely not wrong....did it feel right, yes.

Will Marcie escape the house again? Yes.

Does she understand more about herself after tonight? Yes.

Will I ever forget this night? No.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Charlize
Title changed by author's request

[Carolyn Marie]

That's really great, Marcie, and I am happy for you. You should be very proud of yourself for your accomplishment. That first time out is no small thing, and I think its safe to say that none of us every forget that first time. Five years or more later and I remember every detail.

I hope every time out is just as much fun and just as big a success. Soon enough, they will become routine.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

I can't stop smiling for you Marcie. That is so wonderful. Way hug. JodyAnn

[Guest]

Congrats Marcie!

That was great that you had company.

My first few outings were solo and it was easy for me to bail out if I wanted to by simply not getting out of the car... Yup. It took me a while of thinking and then re-thinking what i was doing and why.

And then I did it and my life has never been the same since.

A long journey starts with a single step.

And you will always remember your first.

[Charlize]

Thanks for the Sunday morning warmth and smile. You are on a great journey towards a place you've always had within. Yourself. It feels so good to find her and have the ability to let her out of the closet.

Hugs,

Charlize

[tracy_j]

Congratulations Marcie

I'm really pleased things went well!

Many more good times to come

Tracy x

[MarcieMarie12]

Thanks, I can't wait to be me again!

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Congrats Marcie!,

This is huge, and I am so happy it went well for you. I remember so clearly my first time out, I waited until Halloween, and then went shopping at three stores by myself, as myself. I figured it was Halloween, and if I didn't pass, folks would think that I was in costume. Kinda scary, but like you, it went fine, I blended in as a woman, no problem. I went full time a few weeks later. YMMV.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I wish I could add more ... But I really only have one thing to say ...

[MarcieMarie12]

Thanks Kayla and Stephanie!

Hugs--Marcie

[MarcieMarie12]

Went out as Marcie last night. tried to get a pedicure butthe place was closed by the time I gotthere. Then I went to target. Was a bit more nervous being just myself, got some odd looks from maybe 3-4 people. I think being nervous was more of the issue than my appearance, but then again something might have been off.....

Anyway, my spouse was not to happy that have been out twice. She's worried what the neighbors will think and isn't ready to explain it to them. She wants me to stop going out in a dress....

[MarcieMarie12]

PS: Wife still doesn't even want to see me dressed and it has been 4 months since I told her. I can see why some of us just surprise them at some point.....

[Guest]

It's coming to trench coat weather. Giggle. Slip the pants and shoes off in the car. I did it for months to save changing at my LGBT AA meetings. I only had to put my wig on later. Hope this helps?

[MarcieMarie12]

Marcie got out loose on the world again yesterday. Being out felt so normal to me. Going to a thrift store with Courtney, looking at clothes (nothing good sadly ), going to starbucks and talking shop (we both are in related fields), and outfits. I even got spontaneously mam'd by the cashier when by myself in the grocery store.

The only downside I see is that when I'm not able to be Marcie, my dysphoria is getting worse and my desire to stay as Marcie (myself) has gotten stronger. I basically spent almost the entire weekend as myself. I didn't want it to end....

[MarcieMarie12]

Ok, I am up to being out six times as me! The fourth time out I went to my GT. The fifth and sixth were both the same day (last Saturday). The fifth was a trip to Panera (mam'd) and the grocery store (mam'd again). Then in the evening went out with Courtney and a pair of other ladies for dinner. It was fun to get out. I know at some point I'll probably stop tracking this, that will be another milestone in someways.

The downside to this is going back to male mode is getting harder and harder.

[Guest Opal]

Nice to hear that your outings have been going well.

Others who have trouble reverting to male mode have things like adding a bit of color or bling to

their appearance, I have even gotten away with clearcoat on my nails for a day.

One can also try a gradual shift towards more unisex clothing.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest Mickey]

And under dressing did wonders for me for about 5+ years before I went full time. Panties, stockings or other hosiery works wonders for warmth in the colder months. But always panties at the bare minimum, for years, kept me from going insane I think. It is such a relief, to be full time now.

[Guest Sarah1967]

Congrats Marcie glad you had a nice time.

[MarcieMarie12]

And under dressing did wonders for me for about 5+ years before I went full time. Panties, stockings or other hosiery works wonders for warmth in the colder months. But always panties at the bare minimum, for years, kept me from going insane I think. It is such a relief, to be full time now.

Yeah, I started doing that in September. It helps sometimes, as does having my toenails painted. It is what I can get away with at work.

[MarcieMarie12]

BTW--Spent a good 48 hours or more as me last weekend (longest I've ever stayed dressed and first time I had a change of wardrobe mid-day due to needing something more appropriate--i.e. getting dressed for dinner with the girls).

I still didn't want to stop being me, but wife was coming home. I'm keeping myself from getting frustrated with her by saying I am frustrated with the "situation". But I think that without her objections I'd be me 100% of the time now except at work and when with family. I am working on coming out to them next.

[Guest]

Your stories are wonderful, they remind me of me! I need that for perspective, it wasn't that long ago for me, but now five years seems like twenty-five years of being me. You help reel me in, back to reality as I cheer you on.

Today I barely remember male, if I try to put on the clothes and assume that role I get physically sick. I played in that soap opera for far too long. Enjoy duality while you can, one day it will only be a fond memory. Hug. JodyAnn

[MarcieMarie12]

So as of today, I've been out 7 times as me. I went to the GT and had a good session (it was over coming out to my parents and after that others that I know should be easier--I hope...). Anyway got to the grocery store, a Mcdonald's (bad Marcie!!--Ok all I had for the day was some grapes and pear by they point--I'm trying to loose weight), a thrift store that I really like and its the size of a walmart and picked up a nice skirt--I actually tried it on in the store before I bought it--first time I tried on girl clothes, I never felt so vulnerable in my life. While walking around I got a few smile backs of other women, men not so much (they tend to avoid eye contact with women I guess). I didn't get any confused looks or harassed-so I guess I'm passing. Even the clerks I interacted with at close range didn't notice or seem to care.

[MarcieMarie12]

PS: Not really enjoying the duality, male mode feels like purgatory.....got home and wife was not there so I got to be me at home.

BTW-GIRL problems--when using the ladies room is it better to drop your skirt or hike it up? I hiked mine up in the ladies room (single stall), and had problems...things a GG probably figures out by the time they 6 or 7....

[tracy_j]

I hike it up but as I generally wear a short skirt I find it easy. Perhaps it is an idea to start short and progress to longer?

A bigger issue I find is to get panties and tights interleaved with vest and outer wear - ie the layered approach. Brilliant to keep warm in winter but I do double check the back of my skirt is not tucked in somewhere. This is a not unusual failing with cis women also. As I now often wear a coat as well it gets even more complicated. I cope Ok but as I am sorting things in the stall I do notice cis women can be in and out in moments . Hopefully speed comes in time lol.

Tracy

[tracy_j]

Oh I should say as well that I remember from when I was little (younger than 5 ie before gender became an issue), girls I new going out in the wild. They alwas 'hiked it up' and as little girls seldom wore long skirts they learned with a short skirt first as well. I put what I remembered to good use when on long walks as I have observed how to do it at the crouch. I have never though about how to cope with a long skirt. Just longer than knee length is as far as I've gone.

Tracy