Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Oh_Kay]

Good Morning! Working on my second cup of coffee. Slept in a little this morning. The extra rest is welcomed! Everyone have a nice day!!!

[MikaReich]

Another weekend dressed as Mika and it has been a great idea by my daughters.Going wig shopping today,a few of my wigs are due for a replacement.I love the long,medium and short wigs.Decided to wear a short wig this weekend.

[Tessa]

Good Morning All, 

 

I keep having so many trans dreams. Maybe my mind is thinking about it a lot I don’t know. I do know that sometimes I feel like I’m just here for others to enjoy but nobody really gets to enjoy me. It’s like myself has been put away so long it doesn’t see why anyone would care about me. I know that’s a wrong attitude to have but I’m just being honest. 
 

Been spending time at my older brother’s house and hanging out with his kids. His kids love me by the way! Tim doesn’t know about Tessa but I notice he wants her attention. When I’m at his house it seems he hangs out with his kids and his wife doesn’t show much interest in him. I’m fact I saw her calling him a jerk under her breath. Tim loves his kids and has different hobbies he does. I notice he treats me differently. He always wants to show me something he’s doing. He is also beginning to open up and let me actually talk about things but he’s also quick to criticize or shut off a conversation. He does this to his wife to. He is your typical male and now I know why he treats me the way he does. He actually without knowing it treats me as female! Maybe he wanted a little sister in his mind. He does not agree with trans but yet he enjoys me and actually covets my company. I know he will never admit this but he I think likes my company because I present a different side of the gender pool. 
 

Since I’ve been Tessa at work over they phone males seem to be attracted to my voice. So much that they want to share their lives with me. I’m called “Sweetie, Honey, once Sexy,” However some are also not sure so they will switch from Mam to Sir in the conversation. That’s just weird. Most also love the name Tessa and will say to me that’s a pretty name. From men I get they want to share things because I validate how they feel. Most have lost jobs or hours and some divorced or having family problems. A calm sweet female voice matching a sweet personality is what they are attracted to. 
 

I also have a boss at work that likes to flirt a little with me. He’s married. We know it’s just for fun. Even before Tessa I have off the flirty, young, full of energy, feminine vibe. When I came out my boss said many were questioning if I was a girl just by how I acted and dressed. Validation. 
 

So I see why now it was so hard growing up. I was always presenting female trying to be male. Comparing myself to why I don’t fit in when maybe I never was suppose to. People love Tessa. Just because you change your name doesn’t mean you change who you are! You change your name so that you can match the gender you are. I really wouldn’t have to do anything to make me female because inside my brain thinks this way. It’s when you fight it that you get depressed. Feel your gender and know that no one can take that away. Dressing and changing your body is ok but no body can switch your mind. That is something you keep for the rest of your life. 
 

When you can walk in confidence of knowing who you are regardless of the labels you and others put on you. When you know that you matter to others and yourself regardless of your past and your failures. When you see the world as an opportunity instead of an end. When you can truly see people as VIP’s and treat them as such. When you are open and listen to others and do what you can but no your limitations. When you can sit back and your clothes, possessions, how many friends you have, family problems, gender dysphoria, and all other issues that surround you don’t take presidency in your mind because you are in control of it all and know that you love yourself, the God you serve, the people around you, and your world this is when you begin to see life differently and everyday becomes more beautiful then the next! Your dying and living everyday. 
 

If you needed that today take it as Tessa’s wisdom. Enjoy yourself because you are special and unique and precious just because your here. 
 

Love 

 

Tess❤️

[Tessa]

6 hours ago, KathrynnCox said:

That’s ok @ShawnaLeigh, it’s now 2:46 and I haven’t been able to fall asleep yet. The little ones are fussing and I JUST finished the wife’s nightly deep tissue massage. She has fibromyalgia so she gets a full body massage every night. My mind will not rest tonight. 

That is such a sweet thing you do for her. You are a good spouse to care deeply for the one you love! I would give my wife a back massage every morning when I was married. She never returned the favor and when asked she would say your a man you don’t need that. We’ve been divorced since 2014. My ex is ruthless to me but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about her. We have 3 children now teens. She looks at them as they should be adults and brings the hammer on them and so does the new boyfriend. The boyfriend tries to tell my trans daughter let’s have family time. Until he can make a commitment to my ex he isn’t family. I’m sorry he can’t expect to have a position if he hasn’t earned the title. He is very against me and has come against my feminine side that my ex told him about. She found out about this because once I just showed the kids my wig. I wasn’t even dressed as female but my boy found some female clothes and told mom. Anyway. Tessa was after my divorce but she’s been there the whole time. I wish we could have worked things out but the war waged on. Someday she’ll lay her weapons down and see the truth but for now it’s war. Now I have to fight a boyfriend to. Tessa is strong and courageous and will get through this. Everyday is a struggle but as long as we’re struggling for something good it’s worth it. 
 

Boyfriend is forcing Carter to mow lawn. Says he needs to know responsibility. Carter has anxiety toward loud noises. CPS tells Carter you need to obey or I will put you in Foster Care and Daddy is not an option. I am. I will be texting this lady and finding out what was said. Here is an example of a man forcing a child that is already gone through so much to do something. He is not their father and he cannot expect the kids to respect him as such. Plus he gets no points with them when he cuts me down. I have built a relationship with my children and yes it’s rocky but it’s there. He needs to respect that. 
 

Life is hard 

 

Tessa❤️

[KathrynnCox]

Wow @Tessa, you are an absolute trooper! Go girl! You are FIERCE!

[Tessa]

1 hour ago, KathrynnCox said:

Wow @Tessa, you are an absolute trooper! Go girl! You are FIERCE!

Thanks. I have to be with a ex like mine. I call it quiet strength. Your strength is inside you. If you look at me I’m skinny and in guys standards would be weak. Built like a cute petite girl. My strength is found in my heart knowing who I am and what I have to do. I know what’s it’s like to lose everything because I did so it’s people that matter not things. I can enjoy life through my own eyes and see people also through there’s. I once was told by a stranger I could be an Earth Angel. This is a person who does not fit into the world but is sent to specific people to help them. They have an energy around them that draws people to them but they have very few friends. They are always on a mission but they are full of extreme compassion for the world. They are able to see inside people and not judge them. This describes me. 
 

I look very young for my age and I have been told my eyes are beautiful and show compassion. I have blueish greenish color. I love to help people and have helped many throughout my life. My ex came from a very bad childhood. I think I was drawn to her and I tried to help her but couldn’t. She took advantage of my kindness and compassion. Just a thought. 
 

Love 

 

Tess

[MikaReich]

Did get the wig shopping done,replaced 5 of my wigs that were getting in bad shape.Also bought 6 new wigs,3 long and 3 short hair wigs.I love them.The wig shop I go,they are so good to me and I am one of their customers that are in the crossdressing community.

[Oh_Kay]

30 minutes ago, MikaReich said:

Did get the wig shopping done,replaced 5 of my wigs that were getting in bad shape.Also bought 6 new wigs,3 long and 3 short hair wigs.I love them.The wig shop I go,they are so good to me and I am one of their customers that are in the crossdressing community.

 

Wow! What a fun day!!! That is awesome!

 

Kay

[MikaReich]

33 minutes ago, Oh_Kay said:

 

Wow! What a fun day!!! That is awesome!

 

Kay

It is,5 of those wigs were 5 years old due for replacement although I take good care of them

[MetaLicious]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, @Susan R and @Patti Anne, I appreciate them so much! I did have a pretty good day, all things considered. My in-laws dropped off a pineapple upside-down cake (traditional for my birthday) and a fine craft beer. They even wrote "Happy Birthday Misha!" on the sidewalk in front of my house. 

[Susan R]

54 minutes ago, MetaLicious said:

pineapple upside-down cake

I’m not one for sugary things but right now that sounds so good. Tell me it was as good as it sounds.  Seriously though, I’m happy you were able to have family over on your birthday...people who care enough to do things for you and affirm you like they did!

 

Save me some cake,

Susan R?

[Emily michelle]

My sister just cornered me and asked when I was going to tell her husband. Because he is asking questions and our neighbors are asking questions. Of course the one neighbor is a loud mouth that has no filter. Apparently he asked my sister point blank what is going on with me. So I don’t know I want to come out so bad but I’m scared to death.

[KathrynnCox]

Wow. That’s not cool. Personally I hate nosy neighbors. Mine just complain about my lawn. Right now. I’m so sorry you got cornered. You should be able to come out when you are ready, not someone else’s schedule. 

[Emily michelle]

29 minutes ago, KathrynnCox said:

Wow. That’s not cool. Personally I hate nosy neighbors. Mine just complain about my lawn. Right now. I’m so sorry you got cornered. You should be able to come out when you are ready, not someone else’s schedule. 

I hate nosey neighbors too. I can kind of understand her because it’s hard to keep a secret from her husband. My wife and I spend a lot of time with them. He has been asking too mostly about why I haven’t gotten a haircut. I’m pretty afraid on how he will react. What made it even better he asked her about me in front of a whole crowd of people I know.

[Susan R]

33 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

What made it even better he asked her about me in front of a whole crowd of people I know.

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so suddenly. Things seem to be coming to a head though for you. It’s to be expected as you transition as you know. I put coming out for as long as I possibly could but eventually the time arrives when hiding it much longer is not realistic and more trouble than hiding it. You might ask your sister to be there for support (assuming she would) when you tell him.  The neighbors are a different story. They may start to come up with their own ideas as to what is going on. Sometimes their ideas can be way off and more outlandish than reality so it’s usually better to nip it in the bud before rumors start flying. Just my opinion...take it for what it’s worth.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[Emily michelle]

You are 100% correct I need to nip it in the bud. I’ve been getting tired of hiding. My sister said she would be there with me. I’m still just scared for some reason. And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.

[KymmieL]

Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment.

 

Kymmie

[Emily michelle]

28 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment.

 

Kymmie

I tried to put humor in it and said I was gonna start doing suave commercials lol

[Susan R]

27 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.

The fear is a natural and expected. Few of us can say we didn’t have some apprehension before introducing our true selves to the world. Although, when you do this you will begin to get a strong feeling of empowerment that comes from your inner acceptance. It’s subtle but happens.  Every day, you’ll get up feeling happier than the last and going out into the world will get a little easier each day. In no time, you’ll be so anxious to get on with your day...as yourself Emily michelle. Any looks or mumblings under their breath from others will instantly bounce off you and your confidence will take over.  Then one day, a moment will come and you’ll say to yourself, “Why didn’t I do this earlier?”.

[Patti Anne]

4 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

Apparently he asked my sister point blank what is going on with me. So I don’t know I want to come out so bad but I’m scared to death.

 Hi Em: 

 

Advice is cheap and often times worth what you pay for it, but my approach in my situation is that I finally got so tired of being on edge about this same issue, I finally came to the conclusion that you know what? I don't owe them an explanation for anything. And if he keeps bothering your sister about 'what's going on with you' a simple "if you want to know, why don't you ask him yourself?" should work nicely,

 

On the face of it, that might sound rude, but it really wears thin when you're anxious all the time about 'who knows what, and what will their reaction be when they find out I'm trans?'

 

You and I are in roughly the same places in our coming out processes. And I can tell you that the fatigue really sets in quickly and gives way to a little bit of impatience after a while

 

Like I said, advice is cheap and often times worth what you pay for it. So there you have it.

 

Hugs,

 

Patti Anne

[MetaLicious]

4 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

He has been asking too mostly about why I haven’t gotten a haircut.

Oh, for the love of Pete and several other mundanely named deities...  What flippin' business of his is it how long you wear your hair?  This isn't the 50s!  Men and women are free to wear their hair long and short as they please.  Susan is right, though - you will ultimately feel better being your true self, and personally, I felt better knowing who would actually stand by me and who would not.  The people who won't support you? You don't need them in your life.

[Oh_Kay]

Good Morning Everyone! Sounds like a lot of you are going through some tough times. Hang in there and be true to yourself!

 

 

[Emily michelle]

Pattie Anne thanks for the advice I appreciate any you have a give. I’d like to quote your name in the topic but, I don’t know how lol. I just need to go have a talk with him. Like you said the fatigue and having to watch every move is really getting old. I really don’t owe them an explanation for wanting to be me. In all honesty I didn’t think I would have to deal with this so soon which is not a bad thing. I realized rather quickly I can’t put a timeline on anything lol.

 

metalicious I agree and I don’t even consider my hair long lol. One other friend of ours the first thing she said when she walked in the door last night was wow you need a haircut. If they don’t support me I don’t need them. On the other hand I don’t want to lose them. All I do know is the worry of someone seeing me when I’m on our road is getting old. It’s pretty bad when I have to take my wig off really quick or hide that I’m wearing a pink shirt until I get to the highway. Just to clarify pretty much all of my social group lives on the same gravel road. And I am in small town USA lol

 

 

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I’d like to quote your name in the topic but, I don’t know how lol

Emily, to quote a section of a story or response. Use your cursor to highlight the segment and a quote box will pop up under the highlighted text. Klick on it and the program will place it in a response box at the bottom of the page. 

 

Hugs,

 

Metamorphoses Mindy???

[Erikka]

Good morning. Made fresh coffee this morning...no reheated sludge for today...the sun is coming out after yesterday’s near constant rain and today I feel like working in the studio. Friday I retrieved two of my paintings from my university studio and brought them home and bought materials to finish the series. And tomorrow is payday and I have made it through the month without being overdrawn. Will miracles never cease. Blessings to all for a good day.