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KymmieL

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@Emily michelle It is great to hear that you are changing for the better. LOL I have less than 30 days till I see the Endo about going on HRT with a blood thinner. I just hope the weather is good. Since it is down in Denver.  But If I have to fight through snow to get to be me would be worth it.

 

Can't stand my body. Up early on a day off. when I wanted to sleep in. Oh, Well I can take a nap later. Cup o coffee is nice and warming. this cold am with a forecast over night low to be 38 and today's high only 37. (don't know how that works)

 

I only have to go to my chiropractor later. I may also renew the tags on our MKZ. Luckily it is free since I have my DV plates on it.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

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@Victoria_ I love the wig and the whole look in the picture, it is very cute.

 

Just finished my first cup of coffee. Took the day off since I need to burn vacation time and I have two appointments today, psychiatry and therapy. I have a span between the two, so I am going to go for a walk in the park I think. My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen, which has been a happy surprise.

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@Victoria_ I agree - really cute photo

 

@QuestioningAmber the reduction of anxiety and calmness has been my favorite part of HRT so far - hoping the body starts doing its thing but I'm happy with anxiety and depression reduction - that along has reduced the gender dysphoria.

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On 10/20/2020 at 7:01 AM, Shay said:

I am drinking my 1 cup of daily coffee and I am feeling somewhat numb with the weather and having lost my first sibling on Sunday. I was able to say goodbye via FaceTime and he passed shortly after that. He has been in rest home for 5 years with Lewy body disease - the same thing Robin Williams had so his death doesn't unexpected but it did come quickly and I will always remember the look in his face. Hours later he passed. Anyway I hope your day is starting well and you are ready to face another day becoming the you you were always meant to be.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. Even when we know it's coming it is still heart wrenching.  Here's to remembering all that was good about his life.  Hang in there. 

Hugs

Bri

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6 hours ago, Victoria_ said:

First day with a wig, I’m feeling great, now I can recognize my true self ?

Very cute wig! 

 

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I've been on HRT for 7 weeks and didn't really feel any different until yesterday I became an emotional wreck over the stupidest things and started crying at commercials and -crap-. lol. My wife laughed pretty hard about my state.  I noticed the last week my nipples had become "sensitive" but then this morning looking in the mirror noticed they were "budding". I have to admit, I kinda freaked out.  I've been wanting this but to actually see a physical change occur made the HRT decision real for the first time for me.  I'm better now but I was really worried about the fact the I freaked out and began questioning whether that reaction might have been a sign I wasn't ready.  

In other fun news, A client came into the shop today and as we were talking asked how long I had been here. I thought he was asking about the biz so told him 11 years in this location then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue.  We had a great conversation about the differences in treatment availabilities and public acceptance and then went about our days.  I've been in biz for a long time and had no clue we had any trans clients.  It's really cool to know we do.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:00 PM, Shay said:

@QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 

Heather you need to road trip down to DC some weekend and we will go shopping.  I'm sure we can find some stuff to make you feel cute. In fact, I think we need to coordinate a shopping day for a bunch of us.

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2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair. 

 

Very cool story, @Bri2020!  We are everywhere.  Bwa-ha-ha!

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That is incredibly cool @Bri2020. That must have been a great conversation! I had a similar episode with one of my spouse's friends. We met up at my brother-in-law's funeral and she introduced herself to me. I smiled and said no, we met back in 1990. Then we played a round of "guess who?" with things like, "You were a bridesmaid at my wedding!" It was HUGE fun until my wife finally said, "She used to be <deadname>."

 

As for the emotional thing... you're never ready. It's a big new thing. Some of us get weepy. Some get more euphoric, but the hormones turn your emotional intensity from, "meh" to "OMG!" That takes a minute to get used to. Now that said, I know of people who could not handle the extra load from progesterone, but so long as your hormonal chemistry is normal (as in your endo is done adjusting), you'll get used to it soon enough. I'm two years in and still get blindsided occasionally. However, one of the happiest moments I've had since I started transitioning was when I'd been off hormones a few weeks in preparation for my GCS. I was reading something and it hit me in all the ways that you're feeling things now. I started to cry, then I started to laugh because a huge fear had dropped off my shoulders. Even without the hormones (though I could NOT WAIT to get back on), I was still the new, better me.

 

Hugs!

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Bri2020: " It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue. "

 

This is simply an amazing story!  How did you resist the temptation is sing jointly a chorus or two of "It's a Small World After All"?

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Five years ago today our 8 year old granddaughter lost her battle with brain cancer.  She went through three lengthy brain surgeries.  Months of radiation treatments.  She never complained and always had a smile for me.  Weekends she spent with my wife and I and the rest of the week she was in the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House.  
 

She asked to go on a Disney Cruise after we got the news that she had a limited number of weeks to live.  My daughter and I made that happen with logistical help from friends and family.  When we arrived, Disney staff met us at our car, walked us through and treated Daphne like the princess she was.  As well as her two sisters and the rest of us.  The matre’de cried when he learned of her fate.  
 

Daphne met and touched people all over the world.  Girl Scouts from all over sent her letters of care and love.  A special Rainbow patch was made to honor her.  Her catch phrases was “Don’t be sad, think of Rainbows!”  She came up with that and said it to her mother he when they were being helicoptered to a bigger hospital.

 

willow

 

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@Victoria_ You look great!

 

11 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen

 

Less anxiety? Sounds good, I could use some of that!

 

9 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago! 

 

That is such a cool story! Wow!

 

@Shay and @Emily michelle sorry to hear about both of your rough times. Also, this is the first I've heard of Transparent, I'm definitely going to take a look.

 

Well everyone,

 

Yesterday I finally heard back from the gender therapist I'd been hoping to start seeing. I was so excited to get that message, I was feeling this weird mix of half-shaking together with calmness (weight being lifted). The last few weeks this has all been feeling very sudden, and confusing, rollercoastery, and I've been really feeling a need to finally start talking things over with someone professionally trained trained in this stuff. I have my first appointment (virtual) a week from monday! I so can't wait to finally talk and what she has to say.

 

Also, earlier this week I had a routine follow-up with my GP, and decided it was time to finally be honest with her about both my drinking habit and the fact that I was looking for gender therapist. Since I still hadn't yet heard back from the therapist I was hoping for, I figured she might have some connections since I recently learned the organization she's with (The Cleveland Clinic) has two LGBT+ health centers. The meeting went well on all points, and it felt good to come out with my GP on both those things.

 

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into... :)

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A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

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For anyone who remembers the issues I was having with my therapist a few weeks ago. The fear was that there maybe issues (in ONE possible future) with trans-people getting medical care if they have GD in their file. It was staring to sound a little like a EULA ......if you are properly informed and willing to accept these risks....we can proceed.

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face. HR checked in with me today. I've been out doing a lot of field work lately and they wanted to make sure I haven't gotten crap from any customers. So far nothing to report.

 

I've been getting a lot more comfortable using she/her pronouns and references on myself. I didn't have a reason to use them before but now on service calls it's all "Hi I'm Elizabeth, you service girl. I'm here to fix your alarm".

 

 

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1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

20201022_224835_2.thumb.jpg.c598d34210fb7aec4e32fdd8de06ecdb.jpg

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@Willow It is so hard to lose someone so young.It seems like she met the challenge with a brave heart, and a loving heart.

 

It would absolutely devastate me if I ever lost one of my grandkids. If it was someone else fault, they wouldn't find the body so help me.

 

Kymmie

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@Heather Nicole 

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

And...

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Whatcha get? whatcha get?

Ya...let us know.

?

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face.

Elizabeth, glad to hear about work.  Your in the big scary outdoors, so we're watching closely.  I'm inspired by your courage.

?

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2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

@Heather NicoleWhatcha get? whatcha get?

 

Ha haa! :)

 

Not sure how much of that's just playing along, but you know what? I'm so happy with what I got, here they are:

 

(sorry admins if bandwidth is an issue here, I really hope it isn't. I tried using "insert image from url", but it didn't seem to work for me - I'm guessing because, as I've just learned, the server I tried using has out-of-date TLS...among other things...I really need to get that sorted out...)

 

20201022_231759_2.thumb.jpg.651020b3598e01b4588fcc961d06426a.jpg20201022_232120_2.thumb.jpg.8b45c8af297cf54fdbf7078a13be4357.jpg20201022_232727_2.thumb.jpg.332d47b29b21bb4b8ed2797ff3ec59e2.jpg

 

These are Torrid's size 3x. I think 4x might be a better fit, but I'm working on loosing weight, so I think I'll keep them and...un-grow...into them.


I really love the design of the first one, but I think the other two might suit me better. Oh! And the dress has pockets! I didn't even know that when I ordered!

 

I love how much softer the materials are in women's wear.

 

It's funny, I've never, ever gotten excited about new clothes before in my life, and it was easy to just chalk that up to "Well duh, guys don't usually get excited about clothes." I guess for me it was a different reason after all! :D

 

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@Willow OMG! I am so sorry to hear that!!! *hugs* I have two young nieces and I couldn't bear to even imagine...So sorry! That cruise must have been so very special to her, and to all of you. I'm so glad they treated her so amazingly! There's not much in the world that compares with being made to feel like a princess!

 

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

 

I absolutely love these stories of trans-people serendipitously finding each other!!!

 

I've sometimes had little mini-fantasies about that. Like, if one of my co-workers would come out before me, help pave the way, and then I could quietly let them know "hey, I'm with you, I'm like you, you're not alone here". Or the other way around, if I came out at work and it inspired someone there to feel comfortable coming out to me.

 

Very closely related to that, I recently ordered one of those HRC equals-sign bumper stickers. Despite all the self-doubt I've been feeling, and hyperactive "what if it outs me?!?!" paranoid worries, and I'm even aware that HRC isn't universally loved among the full, entire LGBT+ community. But at the very least, politics aside, even more than waving a banner of equality, I want to be another voice helping any early-stage LGBT+ around know that they're not alone, and they have supporters.

 

@ElizabethStar: I haven't commented much on this before, but I've always been thrilled for you to hear all your stories of how well things are going being "out" at work!!! Cheers! ?

 

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

 

Hee heee, thanks, you really are a sweetheart! I feel like trans-sisters with you, since we're both at such a similar stages in all of this. (And because I've recently learned that I love singing ;) )

 

I was feeling SOO daunted by the idea of "OMG, how do I even BEGIN to go about looking for a gender therapist???" I'm very glad for you that you even have a list of candidates. For me, that was the hard part, just knowing where to start. I'm very much looking forward to hearing you proudly declare that you're seeing a good one :)

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2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

?

 

Thanks, Ann! ?

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    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Interesting...never knew any of this.  Of course, in my girl form I never got breasts, so I never had to worry about it.  A couple of pieces of tape would have been sufficient...      Sounds like fun   It has been interesting for me since I stopped trying to do sex like a girl.  The real surprise was my relationship with my husband, as he has figured me out pretty well. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Women's jeans, soft t-shirt that could go either way, flip-flops. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      They were sitting on the love seat, looking west out over Kansas.  Below them the busy city ran to and fro.   "They called.  My surgery has been rescheduled for May 8.  I need to be there at 5 AM for pre-op.  I start prescriptions and diet change on May 1."   "Okay."  Bob did his not-thinking-about anything look.  Taylor was always amazed that he could  actually be thinking about absolutely nothing. She was always thinking of at least six things.   "How can they be like that?" "What?"  He startled a little.  Contact with reality was reestablished. "Where does the hate come from?  Mrs. McArthur?  She was always polite, but I think she wasn't really.  Somehow she hated me even though there were no indications whatsoever." "Yeah, well, you know they are starting up that plant.  And my company is going ahead with their work there, down n Milliville.   I will have to go down there sometimes." "Oh, Bob." "Maybe I will stop by and ask her." "No." "No.  Cabaret is closed, I have been told.  Your transgender support group has scattered to other places." "What is wrong with those people?" "Same thing as Roosevelt, I guess.  You know all the racial comments against Blacks?  Like that game where our cheerleaders started this insulting cheer, an the opposite team was mostly Black? Teachers stopped it." "I didn't know.  I was staying away from that, remember?" "Yes." "You know all those kids at our church, the ones you called freaks the other day?" "I shouldn't have called them that." "Pastor tells me they are all from all over the Midwest.  These are kids who have been thrown out of their homes and were found on the street.  Other shelters would not take them, so they wound up here." "Not surprising." "I think we could do some good here." "What do you have in mind?" And she told him.
    • EasyE
      You are spot on here ... but also it seems like such a rigged game for the average person that it's hard to invest energy into the political arena -- too much big money controlling too many people/organizations/narratives for the common person to fee; heard...   In general, why we in America accept either candidate is baffling... for all our innovation as a nation, we can't do better than these two bozos?    The problem is, the political arena is such a sham -- again with large money controlling all aspects of the system -- that a common-sense, love-your-neighbor, make-reasonable-compromises, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-to-work candidate will never make it anywhere above the local level (if even there)...    Everything is a reality show, and boring ol' decision makers that try to benefit the most people don't generate enough clicks, views and retweets...  I am not sure it is so much about celebrity as it is about party politics at all costs - "my side must always be viewed as right and your side must always be viewed as wrong!" kind of thinking... there is no consensus building anymore because that will get used against you in campaign ads... When Obama took office and then Hilary ran again, it was like all Republicans want to do was to find someone loud enough to put them in their place. Forget issues, forget character, just win a debate and rally the base.    To get back to your original point, not enough of us care about politics ... and in some ways we've become fat, happy and entitled as a nation. The yearning to achieve the "American dream", which drove my parents and their parents before them to work their tails off and sacrifice and save, is now just "give me the American dream for free while I sit here on my phone and watch tiktok..."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You are in the right place.
    • EasyE
      I am about 5 weeks ahead of you ... best wishes to you! For me it has been subtle changes at most so far (if any) ... but I am also on the "beginner's" level of patch, lol ...    Easy
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Oh, another comment.   I am a conservative evangelical with strong Republican leanings. So is my wife, my friends, my family. I disagree with a good amount of what the Republicans are doing, but there it is.  I understand the mindset, I think, a lot better than those who are outside it do.   When you insult Republicans you insult me, my friends, my family.   People like me can struggle with trans issues.   Please consider that in posting.
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