Good morning All. Coffees on.

[MetaLicious]

For me, it is too late for coffee, and I just did my nails, so I am unwilling to make tea.  Sticking with water for now, and enjoying that I am healthy enough to paint my nails again.  It has been a long couple of weeks - I strongly recommend not getting a peritonsillar abcess (or any abcess, for that matter). It was pretty bad feeling sick, but being unable to engage in any self-care made it worse.  But I am geting back into the swing of things - did i mention I painted my nails?  I am pretty pleased, because I am getting the technique down, and I was able to do a base coat, two color coats and a top coat in under thirty minutes.  It wasn't that long ago that I had to reserve a two-hour time block in order to do my nails.

 

I saw my therapist yesterday, and told him how I'd been reluctant to talk to my wife about anything transition related lately, and he advised me to keep my lines of communication with her open.  It's seems like such a no-brainer, but irrational fears being what they are...  In any event, my wife asked how my appointment went, and I told myself, "This is a good opening - now is the time to talk," so I did.  It wasn't a long talk but we were able to hash some things out, and get back on the same page.  I even told her about the new name I was considering - "Misha" - and she loved it!  I was hoping for acceptance, maybe, but instead she tells me that it's a sexy name!  In Russia, it's a nickname for Mikhail, while in Arabic, it means "pretty."  I also appreciate that it works as nickname for Michelle, also.  I've known I'll never be a "Shelly" anyway, because that's my cousin's nickname.

 

So, I am feeling better physically and emotionally than I have for nearly two weeks.  

11 hours ago, Willow said:

Yes, it can be difficult but when it’s good, it’s very good. And when it’s bad, turn it around and make it good again.   

Good words to keep in mind, Willow.  I was feeling like I was in a pretty dark place, but there's light aplenty if I just look.

[Jackie C.]

That is incredibly messed up @Debra Michelle. Some men just need an opportunity and they're ready to have their way with any woman who doesn't run away fast enough. 

 

Still no coffee for me. I had an orange, my protien shake and my customary handful of pills. 

 

Lots of bleeding last night. I'm really, really looking forward to this morning's shower. I awoke this morning to the sound of scrubbing. That's 28 years of marriage: I'm bleeding like a stuck pig and Susan is worried about the rugs in the bathroom.

I'm doing laundry today. They do kind of look like we got them from the Bates Hotel. I've got a really good blood remover. The rugs will be fine. 

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

Yikes @Debra Michelle I am glad you are getting far away from that!

 

Thanks @KymmieL… I was so being "that" on that day.  LOL

 

I am so happy you are feeling better Michelle or now Misha!  I love it too.

Well I just had a huge scare just a few moments ago. 

My daughter got in a fairly bad car accident this morning based on the pictures she sent.  The impact spun her little truck around a bit she said but she is not hurt although very shaken up.  Its totaled for sure.   Front to back damage and bent frame.

Luckily she called my wife first as Angela is a rock and controls her emotions to a fault.  But in a crisis its awesome   She handled the entire situation and went to go get her to drive her home and then to school..  

I on the other hand was a mess.  I was so freaked out. I am also over 1.5 to 2 hours away so she decided to call her step mom first.  

AND

Angela already has a nice used car already lined up for 1/2 the book price.  

Ok so I had some stress this morning but things going well now thanks to Angela.

 

Though my coffee is gone. Sigh.

 

[KymmieL]

Shawna, glad your  daughter is ok. The vehicle can be  replaced  but  she cannot. 

I just  got finished with a fantastic  Dr. Appointment.  Seen an interim Dr. As my primary doctor  retired.  She is a retired VA nurse practitioner.  Just  working 4 days a week.  She was so fantastic,  she read my med records before.  She went over my history  thoroughly.  Discussing  everything.  Even previous problems.  Asking  me about then. Called  me  Kymmie.

She even said my voice was wonderful.  She told me that my Gyn is  nationally recognized.  One of the best. I feel  so great about my whole medical team. 

Sitting at Perkins, having breakfast while waiting for my speech appointment. 

 

Have a great day, all.  

 

Kymmie. 

[MetaLicious]

Oh, @ShawnaLeigh, I'd be nervous wreck in your shoes!  I'm glad your daughter is all right - that's the most important thing!  And thank you for your compliment on my name.  I really think it suits all of me, and not just my feminine self.For some reason, I get flustered when my wife calls me "Michael" while I am trying on new clothes.  I'm in a changing room, after all, yet the feeling of mismatch makes  me feel embarrassed.

 

@KymmieL, I am happy to hear your day is going so well.  Sounds like you are off to a great start!

 

I am on my second (and last) cup of coffee for the day, and feeding my 10-month old. Holding a sleeping baby is easily the majority of my "me time" but I will take what life has to offer. As long as I am stuck in front of my laptop, might as well surf a little!

[Debra Michelle]

9 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Yikes @Debra Michelle I am glad you are getting far away from that!

 

Thanks @KymmieL… I was so being "that" on that day.  LOL

 

I am so happy you are feeling better Michelle or now Misha!  I love it too.

Well I just had a huge scare just a few moments ago. 

My daughter got in a fairly bad car accident this morning based on the pictures she sent.  The impact spun her little truck around a bit she said but she is not hurt although very shaken up.  Its totaled for sure.   Front to back damage and bent frame.

Luckily she called my wife first as Angela is a rock and controls her emotions to a fault.  But in a crisis its awesome   She handled the entire situation and went to go get her to drive her home and then to school..  

I on the other hand was a mess.  I was so freaked out. I am also over 1.5 to 2 hours away so she decided to call her step mom first.  

AND

Angela already has a nice used car already lined up for 1/2 the book price.  

Ok so I had some stress this morning but things going well now thanks to Angela.

 

Though my coffee is gone. Sigh.

 

Luckily I was not involved,now he is going to go through a divorce.Did meet that doctor today and I like her,listens and we have one thing in common.She is a post MTF transsexual,was like me and no regrets.

[Jackie C.]

32 minutes ago, Debra Michelle said:

Luckily I was not involved,now he is going to go through a divorce.Did meet that doctor today and I like her,listens and we have one thing in common.She is a post MTF transsexual,was like me and no regrets.

 

That's kind of awesome. 

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

Good evening

 

well no coffee tomorrow morning.  I have a dr appointment with fasting blood work at 8 am.  Then when I get home I’ll be getting ready for a group meeting tomorrow night.

 

I’m looking forward to that.  My wife will be going along as we will be meeting friends for dinner before the meeting.  The meeting is over two hours away.  Wives will spend time together while my friend and I attend group 

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

Well so far today has been freaking awesome.

First my appointment  with my primary first thing. As mentioned above. My fasting blood work was yesterday.

2nd: My speech therapy went great also. My voice is coming along great. She says I am sounding like Kathleen Turner. 

3rd: I was able to come home and fix my new to me Explorer upper and lower intake seals. Getting rid of the check engine light. Just call me a a little motorhead.

 

Hope the rest of the night goes as well. The wife doesn't start in.

 

Kymmie.

[Firenze]

Ugh...-expletive- this. I hope I'm not getting sick. My right ear's been plugged since this morning, it feels like I'm deaf on that side. I thought it was just a build-up of wax, but nothing seems to be working there. 

[Susan R]

Having some late nite (caramel mocha Starbucks house blend) coffee as a friend of mine is coming over to watch a movie with my wife and I.  I have a feeling I’ll be doing a lot more of this in the near future.

 

We just canceled all our plans including volunteering tomorrow. I also will not be going to the YMCA to work out for the next week. I also canceled plans for karaoke ? on Sat evening with friends and church on Sun.  We just found out the bartender where we normally karaoke is sick and has not yet been tested for Coronavirus.  We stocked up yesterday at Costco on emergency goods. I’m in the epicenter of this thing.  Many of the school districts are closing in King and Snohomish Counties but typically the one my wife works at is the exception...at least at this hour.

 

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well so far today has been freaking awesome.

@KymmieL You’re on a roll! Hope you have more days like that. Awesome to hear!

 

Susan R?

[Debra Michelle]

12 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

That's kind of awesome. 

 

Hugs!

Told me her story getting to know her,was always unhappy as a boy wanting to be a girl.Transitioned young at 16 and had her GRS at 19 years old.Good thing is she is married to a great husband that loves and accepts her for who she is.Told her mine and said sounded like hers.Did have to see my results from when I had mine in January too.Said the results are still looking good.So far I am loving the results healing up good

[ShawnaLeigh]

The coffee this morning is great!  Seems better then normal.  Must be my stellar mood!

 

Sitting at work enjoying some TP before I buckle down.  Its good to have your own office and be the ONLY person from your company that works in the hospital.  I can get away with murder if I wanted.  Though I have a fair share of integrity so I do what needs to be done.  Eventually.  LOL

 

Starting to feel the anxiety growing slowly as I have decided to start full time next Monday at work.  I had a steady stream yesterday of hospital employees and mangers personally visit me in my office to convey their acceptance and support and ALL of them had gendered me correctly and used the right pronouns all day long. 

Or

They are all just wanting to see what the only Trans women really looks like in the entire area.   Sadly they still got Shawn as I am still presenting male this week. LOL

 

I am feeling more and more comfortable with the folks here and can see I do not have anything to worry about, but still,  its a huge step and scary all the same.

I can do it and I know I will rock that shite.  LOL

 

 

[Debra Michelle]

Finding out a couple new employees are working out good.I don't have to check on them all the time and come in on time.Fresh out of college.My relationship with my mom,we are much closer now since I had my GCS in January.Feels she finally has the daughter she has always wanted now

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

They are all just wanting to see what the only Trans women really looks like in the entire area.   Sadly they still got Shawn as I am still presenting male this week. LOL

 

I feel like in your situation... maybe just for a week or so... I'd wear some kind of lizard mask to work. Just to mess with people.

 

Nothing fancy today. Boring but nutritious breakfast (don't really have the energy to do anything fancy) and waiting for my prescription to be ready. Expecting shenanigans related to communication, insurance or availability. Otherwise sore and doing laundry. Cat asleep in my lap which is OK since I finally positioned him away from my surgical site. Cats have an uncanny knack to place their feet exactly where it will hurt you the most.

 

I should also probably put on some socks. I'm going to need those when/if I go out.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I feel like in your situation... maybe just for a week or so... I'd wear some kind of lizard mask to work. Just to mess with people.

 

yea that's probably going to be what I am trying to call makeup.  LOL

Maybe more clown-ish then lizard though.  I don't like dry skin.

[KymmieL]

10 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Starting to feel the anxiety growing slowly as I have decided to start full time next Monday at work.  I had a steady stream yesterday of hospital employees and mangers personally visit me in my office to convey their acceptance and support and ALL of them had gendered me correctly and used the right pronouns all day long. 

Or

They are all just wanting to see what the only Trans women really looks like in the entire area.   Sadly they still got Shawn as I am still presenting male this week. LOL

 Well, Girlfriend today is Friday. So if you actually work a normal persons hours. The next time you show up at work. It will be as Shawna. glad to hear that you are being accepted.

 

I still haven't came out at work. Just looking for the right time.

 

Kymmie

[TommieAnne]

11 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Starting to feel the anxiety growing slowly as I have decided to start full time next Monday at work.  I had a steady stream yesterday of hospital employees and mangers personally visit me in my office to convey their acceptance and support and ALL of them had gendered me correctly and used the right pronouns all day long. 

Or

They are all just wanting to see what the only Trans women really looks like in the entire area.   Sadly they still got Shawn as I am still presenting male this week. LOL

 

I am feeling more and more comfortable with the folks here and can see I do not have anything to worry about, but still,  its a huge step and scary all the same.

I can do it and I know I will rock that shite.  LOL

 

 

My empathy kicks in on this, so I can just imagine your anxiety. But then I started chuckling at your comment! Yes, large organizations can be like a zoo or a circus, so people parade past your "cage"!

My days have been filled with drawing, so I'm feeling better and less stressed. But next week I will be going to my first "trans" therapy group meeting, so I'm anxious about that. What will they expect of me? Am I trans enough? Are they weird? Will they think I'm weird?

For group things I'm very shy, and find it difficult to find anything to say. Add to that I'm in a very vulnerable place emotionally these days, so I'm sure you can understand my apprehension.

At any rate, I still enjoy my morning coffee, so I hope everyone else does too.

TA

[ShawnaLeigh]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

 Well, Girlfriend today is Friday. So if you actually work a normal persons hours. The next time you show up at work. It will be as Shawna. glad to hear that you are being accepted.

 

I still haven't came out at work. Just looking for the right time.

 

Kymmie

Yep Zmobday is the first day of the rest of my life as my true self.  The sense of freedom is overwhelming.  
However I need to take a crash course in makeup this weekend.  Lol

Ive yet to apply any on myself yet.  
yikes!
 

[ShawnaLeigh]

1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Yep Zmobday is the first day of the rest of my life as my true self.  The sense of freedom is overwhelming.  
However I need to take a crash course in makeup this weekend.  Lol

Ive yet to apply any on myself yet.  
yikes!
 

Wle I’m fat fingering everything tonight.  
Monday*

[MetaLicious]

3 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

What will they expect of me? Am I trans enough? Are they weird? Will they think I'm weird?

I don't know what they will expect, but I'm sure being yourself will be sufficient.  Are you trans enough?  YES!  But it doesn't matter if you're trans enough for anyone other than yourself.  Are they weird?  Of course!  We're all weird.  And I'm not talking about just us transfolk - I mean each and every human on the planet.  The weirdest ones are those who actually meet the criteria for being average...  Will they think you're weird?  Probably not.  Most of us (and again, I mean all humans) are too busy critiquing ourselves.  Those who spend their time judging others tend to be obvious about it.  You got this, girl. Go do it!

 

2 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

However I need to take a crash course in makeup this weekend.  Lol

Ive yet to apply any on myself yet.

I know, right?  I've gotten praise for my ability to do nails, but doing my face?  The first thing I do is take off my glasses, then whine about how I can't see without them.  I get a magnifying mirror, then whine about how there's not enough light.  I keep putting off the practice for... reasons.  I finally obtained some makeup removing wipes, so I have no more excuses - if I screw up, just wipe it off and start over!  But I seriously want to learn some techniques.  I've been getting great results in public from my clothes, my walk, my stance, and my attitude, but I would ike to look in the mirror and be just a little happier with what I see, if you know what I mean.

[TommieAnne]

1 hour ago, MetaLicious said:

I don't know what they will expect, but I'm sure being yourself will be sufficient.  Are you trans enough?  YES!  But it doesn't matter if you're trans enough for anyone other than yourself.  Are they weird?  Of course!  We're all weird.  And I'm not talking about just us transfolk - I mean each and every human on the planet.  The weirdest ones are those who actually meet the criteria for being average...  Will they think you're weird?  Probably not.  Most of us (and again, I mean all humans) are too busy critiquing ourselves.  Those who spend their time judging others tend to be obvious about it.  You got this, girl. Go do it!

 

Aw. Thank you.

TA

[KathyLauren]

I had my Sunday morning espresso today, because I'll be too busy rushing to catch my bus tomorrow.  Leaving for my GRS on International Women's Day.  How appropriate! 

 

I'll try to post updates when I can: I'll have my iPad with me.

[Cyndee]

@KathyLauren Yes International Women's day, how appropriate. I know of another member here that had her surgery on that date a few years back as memory serves me. Have a nice safe trip Kathy.

 

I am working this morning, so I am near a computer, it's a cold damp morning, sipping coffee and have all the screens going, listening to the HF radio  There is an International DX contest going on, so there is lot's of activity. 

 

C

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

coffee made and drunk.  Now it’s time to start Saturday chores.  
 

My group meeting was very good last night.  Glad I went.  
 

got to spend time with our good friends and talk openly and privately with her before the meeting.  Then the main topic for discussion was about coming out.  
 

@ShawnaLeigh everyone there who had come out expressed that after being filled with apprehension, coming out at work wound up being no big deal.  You’ll be fine based on my groups.experiance.

 

Willow