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KymmieL

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Congratulations @KymmieL! I'm getting mine changed Friday (stupid COVID). I'm so happy for you!

 

Hugs!

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15 hours ago, Abi said:

Pineapple upside down cake, anyone?

Looks yummy

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ooo yea... I just finished my wife's wonderful carrot cake - next up - French style Strawberry Cheese Cake.... yum.

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3 hours ago, Shay said:

ooo yea... I just finished my wife's wonderful carrot cake - next up - French style Strawberry Cheese Cake.... yum.

 

Meanwhile, my diet has me limiting carbs. This all looks SO good though... Ugh. I want cheesecake.

 

Hugs!

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Thanks, girls. It does make me feel better. It is just one step closer to my dream.

 

Finally off work. tomorrow is my Friday. I never knew that 3:15 am came that early. Or am I just maturing. (remember ladies don't get old we mature.) 10 and a half hours. I am beat down to my socks. Thankfully I can (hopefully) sleep in. Close tomorrow so 11am.

 

I think it is about nap time for this little girl.

 

Kymmie

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@Jackie C. just a nibble a day.  Then you can spread it over a bunch of weeks...

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I am jealous of you KymmieL. I wish my license said "F" under sex. Congratulations to you girl!

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I just wish that changing your name was just as easy. But noooooooooo.  you have to publish it in the paper once a week for a month. then the judge rules on it. Right now that is out of the question. I'm sure my wife would hear of it and I would get bitched at. Then my youngest would get his nose into it. Anymore I can't have a discussion with the wife without my youngest butting in. Of course always on my wife's side.

 

Well should be getting some Kymmie time soon. As my son is now a custodian at the school district along with my wife. He is a floater, where he could work at any school in the district. As long as he is out of my hair for a while.

 

While I do love him he is a PITA. He always sides with my wife no matter what it is. I swear that they have secrets. My son is always rubbing my back. looking at what I am doing on line. I know why he rubs my back he wants to see if I am wearing a bra or not.

 

I think my wife may have alzhymers. I have gotten to the point that when she gets something that happened in the past wrong. I don't want to start an argument. So I let it slide. She says that she was the one who looked at this apt. 21 yrs ago. No it was me because my wife and kids where still in Rapid City. In the past year I have noticed that her hands are shaking.

I just hope her pay check is enough to make rent, and utilities and car insurance. She gets paid once a month. I have no idea how much she brings home. but she makes enough to pay the Lincoln's payment, she has been making my middle sons car payment for over a year. Just recently she has made my youngest insurance payment.

While my disability and paycheck go into a joint account. Her paycheck goes into her account. I have no access to it. Hence not knowing what she brings home. I think I will start not letting her know what my check is. ( it is less now because of a garnishment from one of her Dr. bills) All this makes me feel better about leaving, even though I still love her. it is wavering a little. as she pretty much ignoring me lately.

 

Sorry to bring this rant to my friends. I just needed to get it off my flat chest. LOL.

 

Kymmie

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Kymmie, I think you can ask the judge to skip publishing your new name in the news paper if you have a good reason not to do so. I would contact a lawyer where you live that's familiar with name changes and ask about not having to publish your name change. I'm lucky, I moved to a city last year where no one even knew me, that way when I change my name and publish it, no ones even going to know who I am.

 

But yeah, try asking the judge if you can skip the publication in the news paper. Just and be honest about why. Last thing you want to do is piss off a judge by lying to him/her. lol

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QuestioningAmber

Sorry to hear about the issues you are having Kymmie. I am sure it is difficult to deal with and manage your relationship and contending with the balance of power in the relationship. Has the idea of doing couple's counseling come up to see if you navigate that situation a little better? My wife is for the most part supportive, but we have talked about possibly doing some couples work to improve the foundation in general, and maybe see if we can work through some of the transition based problems as well.

 

I am just getting through my cup of coffee and first hour at work. Kind of a slow day again, which I am not a huge fan of. I do have a psychiatrist appointment today over lunch, and this will be the first time presenting more feminine in front of her, but it is a virtual appointment. I do need to change though later today because I have to go walk some after work for a challenge that I am doing, and i don't have shoes to even go with the dress if I even felt that brave.

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Emily michelle

Hi everyone! I took the day off because of my endocrinologist appointment. Mostly I just wanted me time haha. A good friend of mine and I are going shopping here in a bit so I’m super excited.

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Good for you - have a good appointment and most of all enjoy your friend and shopping.

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Thanks for the kind words. I have suggested that my wife accompany me to a therapy appointment. No go. She blames my therapist for putting these ideas in my head. also saying she'd punch her in the face. 

I'm afraid it is all over but the rolling of the credits. Sad to say. I just need to start putting my feelings for her aside. and work on getting on with my life as I need to live it. It is tearing me up to do so. However, I think once I am free to be me It will get better. The feeling will always be there.

 

Finally Friday for me with a 5 day weekend. Plus I will have the house to myself tomorrow and Monday. yeah. Kymmie is coming out to play.

 

Hugs to all my brothers and sisters.

 

Kymmie

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I’m so sorry to hear that @KymmieL  I hope you enjoy your two days of freedom!

 

I am up this morning laying on the couch. My counseling appointment was cancelled this morning, so I’m sort of down because I was really looking forward to it. These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. So, hoping to get those out soon to her so I can work through them better. 
 

On a brighter note, I’ve been having issues with hypergranulation tissue and it causing excessive bleeding and some underlying pain and discomfort. So my gynecologist had an earlier opening so I get to go to my first appointment with her today. She is going to get rid of all the hypergranulation tissue. So I’m hoping it helps with the bleeding and pain, because boy! It is overwhelming. 
 

Hope everyone has a great day!

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  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Kylie said:

So my gynecologist had an earlier opening

 

I see what you did there.

 

I had a bit of that, but we're treating with estrogen cream and santyl. We're trying to avoid the silver nitrate route. Which I'm OK with, because I'm a huge ... huh, you ever notice how so many ways to say, "small, frail, soft" are gender charged? Anyway, I'm not OK with the pain. Even if it would probably be fine.

 

Hugs!

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I don’t know why my comment duplicated! Someone can take care of that for me I hope! 
 

but @Jackie C. haha, I didn’t even realize that 😂

 

I wasn’t aware that was also an option! But I think my bleeding is such an issue that it needs to be treated immediately. Per what I’ve heard, silver nitrate isn’t too painful, compared to what I’m experiencing now, I’ll welcome it as long as it resolves my issue. I am nervous though for this appointment, seeing it is my first time seeing a GYN and I’ll be here first trans post-op patient. She is excited though, so makes one of us. 

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@KymmieL I'm so sorry you can't get your wife to go with you to your therapist appointment. I've tried to get my mom to go to my therapist appointment so my therapist can talk to my mom. We both think it would be goof for my mom to sit in and listen to me when I talk about how I feel. But just like your wife, She thinks my therapist is part of my transgender problem and not the solution. Anyway, I'm so sorry and I can't fully understand what your going through, but I can sympathize with you at the moment. I pray that your wife finally comes around to understanding how you feel. Because having someone close to you that understands you is the best thing you could ever hope for. My mom doesn't understand me right now, but she is there for me in case I need her. I hope your wife comes around. If for nothing else for your piece of mind. Hugs Honey!

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ElizabethStar

I don’t feel as alone now. My wife thinks my therapist put ideas in my head. 

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Thought I’d pop in to say hi to you all. I miss being on here much this week. I’m still down in Boise visiting my sister Lisa who had severe lung damage earlier this year from that dreaded Covid. She just got a call from her doctor yesterday and got her test results back. They said she is actually improving and her oxygen levels are increasing so much she can now be removed from oxygen when she is not walking. Her breathing also sounds so improved from when I last talked to her on the phone a month or so ago.

 

My wife and I are enjoying our visit with them very much..it feels like old times. Even though I’ve been sleeping well here, I’ll be home next week and the thought of sleeping in my own bed sounds so nice!

 

Take care all,

Susan R🌷

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  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Susan R said:

They said she is actually improving and her oxygen levels are increasing so much she can now be removed from oxygen when she is not walking. Her breathing also sounds so improved from when I last talked to her on the phone a month or so ago.

 

My wife and I are enjoying our visit with them very much..it feels like old times. 🌷

 

That's really good news to read Susan, and may the improvements continue with your sister Lisa, enjoy the rest of your trip and safe travels home :)

 

It's pouring rain here today (so welcomed), think i'll grab another cuppa,

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi

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That is good news @Susan R. Hope she continues to recover. CoVID has been doing some long term damage to those that have been surviving from the severe illness. 
 

Well wishes. 

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  • Forum Moderator

This is very good news to read @Susan R.  I know it will be nice to be in your own bed, ahhhh!  Travel safely.

 

@Cyndee that's good news about the rain!

 

Hugs, Jani

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Emily michelle

I had my endocrinologist appointment today. I was told I can start increasing my E and Spironolactone. Progesterone was added also so we will see how I do on that.

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  • Posts

    • QuestioningAmber
      So I am off for the next two days because I had a trip planned that was cancelled and thought I should still keep the days off. I am not quite sure what I am going to do with that time, because too much free time has proven in the past to be a dangerous thing for me. Work has been slow over the past week still, and I have a feeling won't pick up again until the new year which is giving my mind a lot of time to wander, which again, typically not a great thing for my mental health. It's amazing how right now, things are kind of stacked against mental health:     1.) Quarantine/COVID Restrictions     2.) Slow Work     3.) Time Off (Our company is use it or lose it)   I honestly haven't even been in the mood to mess with makeup, hair, or really get out of PJ's, which probably isn't the best thing. I've gotten dressed a few days to pick up food or coffee, but that is about it. I know I shouldn't be doing these kind of behaviors, I just can't seem to get myself motivated.   Today is therapy day, so we'll see what my therapist thinks of all this, I just know I am going to hear it that I am not doing enough to fight the mood driven behavior. Le sigh ... depression sucks.
    • KayC
      Ahhh..  that's so sweet, Gabriel.  I don't think I've ever been quoted before.    I'm happy that mantra means something to you.  Even the smallest of efforts in the right direction will create tremendous changes over time, just like the wind and water can carve away mountains.  When we look back we will see how far we have traveled. Wishing you a wonderful day🙏❣️
    • Willow
      Good morning everyone    nice day again although a chilly start. Sitting here drinking our morning coffee.  Third day in a row for doctors appointments then off until Monday then another one.  Yesterday’s doctor wanted me to come to Charleston to take an esophagram. After it was set up for Next Wednesday I told her I’d had one in 2018.  I sent her the results and she canceled the new one. The old one showed her what she was wanted to see apparently.   our dog came in to bed a couple times last night. The first time she figured out I was awake so she insisted on being rubbed.  The second time she decided she would leave me alone.  Laid with us a little then left.   y’all talk about cats, well our daughter brought one home once.  I was a nice cat.  Decided that I was it’s friend. It would come sleep with us and particularly on my face.  Unfortunately, I’m allergic to cat dander.  Wife and daughter both no your not you just don’t like cats.  I had to go to an allergist to prove it to them before they believed me.  She kept the cat, but not in our house anymore.     years later it ran off during a thunderstorm and they never saw it again.   Willow
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    • Robin.C
      Congratulations, studying is hard enough without all that this year has thrown our way.   Hugs Robin
    • Jackie C.
      Congratulations! Today you are a werewolf man. Definitely a man. Probably.   Buckle up and enjoy the ride!   Hugs!
    • Gabriel
      Morning all!   On my second cup of tea. Today a bit overwhelmed with stress at work, a very interesting prospect at my second job, trying to figure out what the heck I want on my gender identity journey and some health issues.   Well, as @KayC says, deep breath and one step at a time. Wishing you all a lovely day
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      Hi @Motormouth95. I'm quite new here so I didn't know you from before. Nice to meet you. Yours is an inspiring story. Keep us posted when you can  
    • Gabriel
      Hey, congrats Mason! That's great. Keep us posted how it goes!
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      Hello @sarahmetal, welcome!   You are definitely not alone. Not in being confused, not in needing deep introspection to figure out what is what, and not in feeling alone and isolated for a long time. I totally relate to all of those.   Gender is never cut and dry and we are all scattered through that line of the gender spectrum, o even out of it. I found really helpful to draw that line  Male-------MidPoint-------Female and put my finger on the place I feel intuitively is my place.    As @Susan R said, a gender therapist was (and is) a huge help for me to sort things out and almost dissolve confusion and anxiety.   There are lovely people around here that identify as NB, bigender, and others. So, welcome  
    • Susan R
      Hello Sarah and welcome to our forums. I think you’ll get the hang of these forums really fast. The information available on the forum is abundant and I’m sure with a little effort you’ll find answers to many of your questions. I know without much doubt, you’ll find you’re not alone and that many have the same questions you do..    I sounds like your starting to figure out a little about your gender identity. If you haven’t found a therapist that’s deals with gender identity issues, That would be another “next step” you may want to research. IMHO, It will help tremendously. If they’re any good, they’ll help you look honestly and inwardly at yourself. You may start to see life in a different frame of mind and perspective. The mental journey is just as valuable as the physical journey. In the end, you hope both arrive at the same destination. Therapy helped me and many others here understand and accept ourselves ...something that is hard to do if you feel different or an outcast of society. Thanks for reaching out tonight. I hope our forum can be of some help to you.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷    
    • sarahmetal
      Hello Everyone; my name is Sarah. I've actually never used a forum before (and I'm in my 30's... don't know how that works out), so please forgive any poorly-positioned weirdness in my future posts/replies. Learning as I go.   I'm an American living and working in Japan. I've always struggled with my gender identity and been a bit of a loner, and living here has made it even harder to find friends or a support group. All my life--as far as I know--I've never met anyone like me struggling with similar identity feelings. At the behest of my therapist, I decided to join this forum in the hopes of meeting relatable people, maybe make some friends, and foster the beginning of some kind of support in my life.   I've never felt like a woman or a man; for the longest time, the only thing I was sure of was that I was not a woman. I went through a period of introspection as to whether I was a man or not... Unfortunately, as much as I wish it was the case, who I am isn't so clear cut. I'm obsessed with the juxtaposition of masculinity and femininity being present simultaneously, either through clothing, presentation, or anatomically. I feel like I'm neither gender... Or that I want to be both binaries. It's a whole thing I'm trying to figure out. I hope I'm not alone, and I hope that isn't too unusual.   I'm a lefty that loves hiking, listening to music (mostly, but definitely not exclusively, metal) and watching horror movies. I'm the kind of amoral abomination that loves licorice, horehound candy, and root beer. Kettlecorn is the best popcorn flavor. Feel free to fight me about it.
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      Early Congrats on the upcoming graduation but congrats on that incredible GPA you’re sporting. You obviously put in the hard work to do so well. Best of luck to you on the rest of your academic career. Hope to see more of you here after things settle down. Of course, if you’re going to grad school, it may be awhile..lol. Thanks for the uplifting report on your recent achievements.   My Best, Susan R🌷
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      YEEHAW congrats man :DD 
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