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KymmieL

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Congratulations @KymmieL! I'm getting mine changed Friday (stupid COVID). I'm so happy for you!

 

Hugs!

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15 hours ago, Abi said:

Pineapple upside down cake, anyone?

Looks yummy

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ooo yea... I just finished my wife's wonderful carrot cake - next up - French style Strawberry Cheese Cake.... yum.

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3 hours ago, Shay said:

ooo yea... I just finished my wife's wonderful carrot cake - next up - French style Strawberry Cheese Cake.... yum.

 

Meanwhile, my diet has me limiting carbs. This all looks SO good though... Ugh. I want cheesecake.

 

Hugs!

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Thanks, girls. It does make me feel better. It is just one step closer to my dream.

 

Finally off work. tomorrow is my Friday. I never knew that 3:15 am came that early. Or am I just maturing. (remember ladies don't get old we mature.) 10 and a half hours. I am beat down to my socks. Thankfully I can (hopefully) sleep in. Close tomorrow so 11am.

 

I think it is about nap time for this little girl.

 

Kymmie

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@Jackie C. just a nibble a day.  Then you can spread it over a bunch of weeks...

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I am jealous of you KymmieL. I wish my license said "F" under sex. Congratulations to you girl!

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I just wish that changing your name was just as easy. But noooooooooo.  you have to publish it in the paper once a week for a month. then the judge rules on it. Right now that is out of the question. I'm sure my wife would hear of it and I would get bitched at. Then my youngest would get his nose into it. Anymore I can't have a discussion with the wife without my youngest butting in. Of course always on my wife's side.

 

Well should be getting some Kymmie time soon. As my son is now a custodian at the school district along with my wife. He is a floater, where he could work at any school in the district. As long as he is out of my hair for a while.

 

While I do love him he is a PITA. He always sides with my wife no matter what it is. I swear that they have secrets. My son is always rubbing my back. looking at what I am doing on line. I know why he rubs my back he wants to see if I am wearing a bra or not.

 

I think my wife may have alzhymers. I have gotten to the point that when she gets something that happened in the past wrong. I don't want to start an argument. So I let it slide. She says that she was the one who looked at this apt. 21 yrs ago. No it was me because my wife and kids where still in Rapid City. In the past year I have noticed that her hands are shaking.

I just hope her pay check is enough to make rent, and utilities and car insurance. She gets paid once a month. I have no idea how much she brings home. but she makes enough to pay the Lincoln's payment, she has been making my middle sons car payment for over a year. Just recently she has made my youngest insurance payment.

While my disability and paycheck go into a joint account. Her paycheck goes into her account. I have no access to it. Hence not knowing what she brings home. I think I will start not letting her know what my check is. ( it is less now because of a garnishment from one of her Dr. bills) All this makes me feel better about leaving, even though I still love her. it is wavering a little. as she pretty much ignoring me lately.

 

Sorry to bring this rant to my friends. I just needed to get it off my flat chest. LOL.

 

Kymmie

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Kymmie, I think you can ask the judge to skip publishing your new name in the news paper if you have a good reason not to do so. I would contact a lawyer where you live that's familiar with name changes and ask about not having to publish your name change. I'm lucky, I moved to a city last year where no one even knew me, that way when I change my name and publish it, no ones even going to know who I am.

 

But yeah, try asking the judge if you can skip the publication in the news paper. Just and be honest about why. Last thing you want to do is piss off a judge by lying to him/her. lol

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QuestioningAmber

Sorry to hear about the issues you are having Kymmie. I am sure it is difficult to deal with and manage your relationship and contending with the balance of power in the relationship. Has the idea of doing couple's counseling come up to see if you navigate that situation a little better? My wife is for the most part supportive, but we have talked about possibly doing some couples work to improve the foundation in general, and maybe see if we can work through some of the transition based problems as well.

 

I am just getting through my cup of coffee and first hour at work. Kind of a slow day again, which I am not a huge fan of. I do have a psychiatrist appointment today over lunch, and this will be the first time presenting more feminine in front of her, but it is a virtual appointment. I do need to change though later today because I have to go walk some after work for a challenge that I am doing, and i don't have shoes to even go with the dress if I even felt that brave.

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Emily michelle

Hi everyone! I took the day off because of my endocrinologist appointment. Mostly I just wanted me time haha. A good friend of mine and I are going shopping here in a bit so I’m super excited.

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Good for you - have a good appointment and most of all enjoy your friend and shopping.

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Thanks for the kind words. I have suggested that my wife accompany me to a therapy appointment. No go. She blames my therapist for putting these ideas in my head. also saying she'd punch her in the face. 

I'm afraid it is all over but the rolling of the credits. Sad to say. I just need to start putting my feelings for her aside. and work on getting on with my life as I need to live it. It is tearing me up to do so. However, I think once I am free to be me It will get better. The feeling will always be there.

 

Finally Friday for me with a 5 day weekend. Plus I will have the house to myself tomorrow and Monday. yeah. Kymmie is coming out to play.

 

Hugs to all my brothers and sisters.

 

Kymmie

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I’m so sorry to hear that @KymmieL  I hope you enjoy your two days of freedom!

 

I am up this morning laying on the couch. My counseling appointment was cancelled this morning, so I’m sort of down because I was really looking forward to it. These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. So, hoping to get those out soon to her so I can work through them better. 
 

On a brighter note, I’ve been having issues with hypergranulation tissue and it causing excessive bleeding and some underlying pain and discomfort. So my gynecologist had an earlier opening so I get to go to my first appointment with her today. She is going to get rid of all the hypergranulation tissue. So I’m hoping it helps with the bleeding and pain, because boy! It is overwhelming. 
 

Hope everyone has a great day!

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1 hour ago, Kylie said:

So my gynecologist had an earlier opening

 

I see what you did there.

 

I had a bit of that, but we're treating with estrogen cream and santyl. We're trying to avoid the silver nitrate route. Which I'm OK with, because I'm a huge ... huh, you ever notice how so many ways to say, "small, frail, soft" are gender charged? Anyway, I'm not OK with the pain. Even if it would probably be fine.

 

Hugs!

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I don’t know why my comment duplicated! Someone can take care of that for me I hope! 
 

but @Jackie C. haha, I didn’t even realize that 😂

 

I wasn’t aware that was also an option! But I think my bleeding is such an issue that it needs to be treated immediately. Per what I’ve heard, silver nitrate isn’t too painful, compared to what I’m experiencing now, I’ll welcome it as long as it resolves my issue. I am nervous though for this appointment, seeing it is my first time seeing a GYN and I’ll be here first trans post-op patient. She is excited though, so makes one of us. 

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@KymmieL I'm so sorry you can't get your wife to go with you to your therapist appointment. I've tried to get my mom to go to my therapist appointment so my therapist can talk to my mom. We both think it would be goof for my mom to sit in and listen to me when I talk about how I feel. But just like your wife, She thinks my therapist is part of my transgender problem and not the solution. Anyway, I'm so sorry and I can't fully understand what your going through, but I can sympathize with you at the moment. I pray that your wife finally comes around to understanding how you feel. Because having someone close to you that understands you is the best thing you could ever hope for. My mom doesn't understand me right now, but she is there for me in case I need her. I hope your wife comes around. If for nothing else for your piece of mind. Hugs Honey!

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ElizabethStar

I don’t feel as alone now. My wife thinks my therapist put ideas in my head. 

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Thought I’d pop in to say hi to you all. I miss being on here much this week. I’m still down in Boise visiting my sister Lisa who had severe lung damage earlier this year from that dreaded Covid. She just got a call from her doctor yesterday and got her test results back. They said she is actually improving and her oxygen levels are increasing so much she can now be removed from oxygen when she is not walking. Her breathing also sounds so improved from when I last talked to her on the phone a month or so ago.

 

My wife and I are enjoying our visit with them very much..it feels like old times. Even though I’ve been sleeping well here, I’ll be home next week and the thought of sleeping in my own bed sounds so nice!

 

Take care all,

Susan R🌷

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1 hour ago, Susan R said:

They said she is actually improving and her oxygen levels are increasing so much she can now be removed from oxygen when she is not walking. Her breathing also sounds so improved from when I last talked to her on the phone a month or so ago.

 

My wife and I are enjoying our visit with them very much..it feels like old times. 🌷

 

That's really good news to read Susan, and may the improvements continue with your sister Lisa, enjoy the rest of your trip and safe travels home :)

 

It's pouring rain here today (so welcomed), think i'll grab another cuppa,

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi

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That is good news @Susan R. Hope she continues to recover. CoVID has been doing some long term damage to those that have been surviving from the severe illness. 
 

Well wishes. 

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This is very good news to read @Susan R.  I know it will be nice to be in your own bed, ahhhh!  Travel safely.

 

@Cyndee that's good news about the rain!

 

Hugs, Jani

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Emily michelle

I had my endocrinologist appointment today. I was told I can start increasing my E and Spironolactone. Progesterone was added also so we will see how I do on that.

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      That was really nice of you @Jackie C.. My wife and I decided we are going to be doing Friends-giving next year if the pandemic thing is better by then.
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      Is there no one in your life that you can try to discuss your feelings with in person? I'm sure that would be frightening but, it sounds like the only way you will feel like no one is documenting your feelings, in order to use them against you. I hope you get some way to feel trust with opening up. Either way I hope things continue to feel better.
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      That's really awesome @Jackie C.. I'm so glad that your family made that exception. Very worth while and she will always be thankful for you all because of that.  💗
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      Sure, but only when I went off HRT for surgery. Hot flashes and night sweats. Hot flashes are bad, but manageable. My night sweats are miserable. Like somebody dumped a bucket of water on the bed.   Hugs!
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      How about hot flashes?  Anybody get suddenly hot and cranky only to have it go away after a while?  I’ve been having that problem for a little while now.     Liz, when I’m not wearing a bra, I show.  When I am wearing a bra, mine are actually too big in the cup and I put a pad in so nothing shows.   I wish I could get a bra with cups of the right size.   Willow
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      We had a really nice (and small) gathering yesterday. We stretched the rules a little. My niece has a friend that would have otherwise spent the holiday alone. Her parents are ... not great ... and she was feeling very alone. She burst into tears when she got back to her car because of how nice we were to her. My emotions are mixed. I'm happy we got to make her day better, but I feel terrible that she was feeling so low that our little act of human compassion brought her to tears. She's an adult and I want to adopt her.   Sure, there was food and we put together a puzzle after dinner but making someone else's day better is what I'm going to treasure.   Hugs!
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      It sounds like everyone had a great day yesterday. I'm really happy to have read so many wonderful posts. I had my kids and we spent the day stuffing our faces and watching movies or playing video games. They enjoyed the day I think. I'm always sad when they have to leave but, that is exactly why I make sure I am right here and available to them when they are here. I am sad that I have to miss half of their time since my divorce. In a lot of ways I guess I feel lucky I get that. I am thankful for finding the strength to break free of the harshness I was experiencing. I made coffee this morning and have been cooking bacon in the oven. I will be doing all of my holiday shopping online this year. I hope to avoid store as much as possible for the next few weeks. My ex and her family don't care about the virus and had a gathering of over 15 people yesterday and are doing it again today. I can't control that but, I disagree with such blatant disregard of reality in the name of tradition. At the same time, I do understand how difficult life is for people that are not used to being alone. 
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