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Coming out to parents


CallMeKai

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So I am 75% sure that I am trans ftm and my parents don't know that. I live in a Christian home where my parents believe that God made me a girl and I always will be a girl but I don't feel that way. Recently I started going to a public school and my new friends there supported me and I even got to wear a bowtie to my first homecoming :D Its hard to go to school and be referred to as a guy by my friends ( and a girl by the occasional teacher or classmate ) but then go home and be called a girl again. Going shopping with my mom is painful but she lets me get a guy shirt every now and than but I hate to go shopping with my dad because he wont let me anywhere near the guys clothes. I want to tell them so badly that I am not a girl and that I hate to be called she/her but I am afraid of the backlash.  I am a junior in high school and they just started to let me go to public school, where I am free to be me, I don't want them to take me out of that. I don't have a solid relationship with my parents but I still don't want to lose them because of my gender. I just want to feel comfortable in my body and have others accept that!!

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Hey there. Just wanted to say you aren't alone in this. I'm in a similar situation but I'm nearly twice your age. My parents do not accept transgender for the same reasons as yours, and its not comfortable here for me. What I did was ask for a conversation with a therapist to facilitate, and am laying groundwork for coming out later. I'm bringing up my discomfort being my true self in their house, and hoping that  is something we can build on later if my different religious views don't totally get me kicked out first....

 

In any case, good luck, be true to yourself, do what you have to do to stay safe and cared for, and relish those supportive friends!

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Kai while it may be hard, please hang in there.  It certainly seems like your parents are not going to be swayed by someone else's opinion on the subject of gender.   

 

You have time to explore and determine who you are and where you fit in the world.  This is a great to time learn.   The time will pass quickly.  If you do determine you are FtM or Bi, or gender fluid you are young and have a full lifetime ahead of you.  Possibly you'll be away at college in a couple years.  In a collegiate environment you'll be able to be yourself.   When and if you decide to go on T, it will work wonders even if you start after your college years.  In the meantime don't push your parents buttons and have them take you out of public school.   Be cool and don't fret.  

 

Jani

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