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Roadster

I came out to my boss today

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Roadster

and it was a fantastic experience.  I mean, it helps that we have known each other a while, and she's very emotionally intelligent and supportive of me.  She took it just with an 'ah cool, glad you're sorting your stuff out' vibe, thanked me for trusting her with the information, and asked me to tell her - not just now, but ongoing over time - what she can do to support me.  I asked her to communicate this to the leadership team, but to wait until I had my first Dr appointment and knew that I had the clear to start T. She gave me a hug.

 

I really am very fortunate with my workplace and my co-workers, even if at the moment I feel like huffing into a paper bag from the adrenaline...!

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SugarMagnolia

That's great! Being supported at work is such a huge thing and I'm so happy that it's playing out like that for you. Congrats!!!

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MaryMary
Just now, Roadster said:

and it was a fantastic experience.  I mean, it helps that we have known each other a while, and she's very emotionally intelligent and supportive of me.  She took it just with an 'ah cool, glad you're sorting your stuff out' vibe, thanked me for trusting her with the information, and asked me to tell her - not just now, but ongoing over time - what she can do to support me.  I asked her to communicate this to the leadership team, but to wait until I had my first Dr appointment and knew that I had the clear to start T. She gave me a hug.

 

I really am very fortunate with my workplace and my co-workers, even if at the moment I feel like huffing into a paper bag from the adrenaline...!

 

that's great :D I'm really happy for you.

 

I remember where I work when I came out to them they made the round and spoke with all teams (HR + the big boss) and they explained what was going to happen and that the company would tolerate no discrimination of any sorts and that not complying to that would lead to being fired. As much as being rejected is sad, being accepted like that feels great too.

 

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Roadster

Yes, absolutely.  I was thinking about who and what in my life I could afford to lose, and one thing that was for certain was that I could deal with a lot of loss if I still had my workplace and co-workers.  It's like an extended family at this point.  (I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I lost my husband this year - he's nominally supportive, but the farther I get along the path, the harder it is for him to really internalize it successfully, if that phrasing makes sense.  I would be happy to stay close to him even if we're not intimate, but I'm preparing for the worst.)

 

I've been a member of the LGBT group at work since I started there, because I'm bi, but I only this week thought about actually coming out to the co-chair - a fantastic woman.  It turns out that one of her goals this year is to form a trans/nonbinary support group on campus, so I asked to be added to it.

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MaryMary
Just now, Roadster said:

 he's nominally supportive, but the farther I get along the path, the harder it is for him to really internalize it successfully, if that phrasing makes sense.  I would be happy to stay close to him even if we're not intimate, but I'm preparing for the worst.)

 

yes, that's exactly what happened to me. At one point it was getting toxic and we decided to brakeup so that we could stay supportive of each other. We are still very good friends. That being said the thing that made it maybe (maybe) a tad easier on me is that i'm asexual so yeah. I hope everything will go well for you :)

 

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Roadster

Thanks - even though I know it intellectually, it still really helps to hear from people who have had similar experiences.

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SugarMagnolia

Yep, happening to me too. We still REALLY care for one another and will still be living together for sometime, but at this point we're just slowly unwinding things. My transition was only part of the reason for that, but it is hard knowing that it's even part of the reason. 

I'm very happy though that we're staying friends and supporting one another. That's a good place to be, too.

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Susan R
1 hour ago, Roadster said:

I really am very fortunate with my workplace and my co-workers, even if at the moment I feel like huffing into a paper bag from the adrenaline...!

I am so happy for you and the work situation.  That is some great news.  Kudos to your boss too.  What a great personality she has.  This makes everything so much easier not having that on your plate to worry about.  I also wish you and your husband the very best in working to establish a new bond in your relationship if that is the direction you want.

 

Best Wishes,

Susan R🌷

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Jani

Great news Michael!  I'm sure its a load off your mind.  That you are part of the LGBT group may have been a clue, plus you say you're on a campus (CSU?) so that helps too as schools tend to be more laid back about this.

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Roadster

Oh, sorry, I meant our work campus. Still, we're in the Bay Area, so it's awfully liberal when it comes to sex/gender issues.

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Cyndee

It's an amazing experience to finally work and earn a living as your "true self", I hope it continues to go well for you as the changes unfold Roadster.

 

Hugs

 

C -

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Charlize

As a farmer who sells both retail and wholesale i was concerned about loosing sales during or after transition.  Fortunately i am perceiving a different reaction.  Like you we are in a liberal area.  I only wish the rest of the country could say the same.

Let us know how it goes.  This is certainly an adrenaline filled process!  There is so much at stake but the rewards are often fantastic!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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tracy_j

Congratulations! It goes well.

 

I must admit mine was more implicit, and although I didn't have incentive to fully transition, it worked well when asked for a non-work email adress for a reseach task I gave a female one. I worked in an accepting community so it was the least of any problems. Although I have left now, I do realise how lucky I was. I do miss everything! People knock our health service, but it does have good points.

 

Tracy

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Linde

I live here in the middle of a large Latino population.  I m the only gringo in my entire street, everybody else is Cuban.  I have a very good relation to my neighbors, and was concerned to come out to them, because we know how macho Latinos are, don't we?

Boy was I wrong!  It was like something very easy to do, the main reaction was, great, I hope yous till like to drink a beer with us!

 

I still feel bad that I was so racist, and projected a negative image onto an entire group of people, just because some of them are macho idiots!

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Jani

This is so good to read Linde.  Progress! 

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Roadster

These stories are all so heartwarming! They make me feel better about life overall.

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