Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Painted Fingernail Ban Temporarily Lifted ?


Susan R

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

I have an agreement with my wonderful wife that I can have my nails as long as I want until we have a guest or family over for a visit. I grow them out and then when someone comes over it's time to get out the clippers.  Well, our daughter and son-in-law who had planned to drive here this weekend had something come up so I didn't need to cut them.  One other thing, until I'm out to everyone I'm never allowed to paint my finger nails....toe nails are ok, no problem.  Well tonight, I decided to "dress up to the nines" in a little celebration that I didn't have to cut my nails until next week.  After I was all done dressing, doing my hair and makeup, my wife came up to me and asked, how about I paint your nails just for tonight and part of tomorrow?  You can imagine my excitement and answer being that I love long beautiful nails so much.

The polish is nothing special, just some $7 drugstore nail polish but it feels like a million bucks to me.  I haven't painted my fingernail in over 30 years so this was a real treat.

 

Susan R?

IMG_0583.JPG

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I like the color and they look beautiful Susan, very happy for you :)

 

Hugs

 

Cynthia -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thank you all for your kind comments.  You are all simply the best! 

@DeeDee @tracy_j @Willow @Kirsten @Cyndee @SaraAW @Jani @killjoyaiden

6 mos ago, If you would've told me I'd be posting online pictures of my long painted nails, I would've asked what planet you're from.  I just love all these changes and just can't help myself!

 

Susan R?

Link to comment

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Thanks @Beverly, @Ashlee and @killjoyaiden  I realize it's going to take time for my wife to transition along with me.  We're going to be with ppl in an hour or so that I haven't come out to yet, so as of a couple hours ago, I'm back to my "manly hands".  I can't believe how hard it was to finally sit down and start removing the polish & cut them back.  I actually procrastinated and experienced a moment of GD right then.   I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Susan R said:

I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

LOL! A sense of humor in transition is a good thing. Don't forget to remove your fake lashes and tuck your slip in. Thin eye liner I forgot to remove in my haste to get ready did me in at a graduation party for my nephew. It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

 

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

 

Hugs

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

I'm used to it now because of my past...living as both man and woman but it still doesn't prevent every mistake.  It usually means it's more costly if I make one.

 

1 hour ago, Cyndee said:

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

I've made a few mistakes recently.  My son-in-law came over without calling to get his laptop OS installed.  I sat there with my very long (unpainted) nails trying to type worrying about what he would think if he saw my nails.  Oh, the clicking sound made me cringe every key stroke.  He eventually looked over and saw my long nails tapping away.  My wife quietly laughed.  I looked over at her and gave HER the evil eye.  I was very embarrassed but I got thru it.  My son-in-law said nothing about my nails that day (to me at least).  My daughter and the entire family came over the next weekend.  My daughter kept looking at my hands.  I knew she was told because she was persistent in looking for my nails.  Luckily, I had trimmed them back a bit before they arrived but they were still a little longer than normal.  I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

 

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

 

Best to you dear

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

Yes, I agree.  I'm at the point where I wear tight undershirts and compression undershirts around them now  I am slowly trying to convey this to my wife.  She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.  I actually talked about it last night when I was making that post that I'm not getting any younger and the kids should know who I really am..the real me, for better or worse.  She understands but it's still very hard.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yes, these are the fine details to work out with your wife for sure Susan, such as the timing and how much information should be shared if any, as to maintain your already wonderful relationships . Definitely a go slow approach with much consultation in these delicate areas, sounds like you're on topic with her. I came out to our daughters when they were teens, even though they may have suspect something was up earlier. There were several rocky periods, mostly revolving worrying over what their friends might say, or how it would affect them. Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

 

Best wishes in your family setting Susan, especially with the little ones. There is a wonderful advantage to living authentically, being honest and transparent with those you love, it's healthy.

 

Hugs

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

My daughters are extremely LGBTQ friendly, two of the three girls have been personally involved in that community.  The third one has in-laws with gay children so she is very accepting too.  I remind my wife of this but she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...their reaction to you being a woman my differ from what you might expect."  In some regard, I agree.  But like you say, living authentically with loved ones is healthy and important to me.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.

  

Hi Susan!

By no means am I suggesting this is what every trans person should do, but I would like to share my own thought process and experience. I felt like I was keeping the real me, the best me, from all of my family members by not disclosing and living openly as me to them. They only knew an unhappy impostor posing as someone who wasn't real. I don't have children of my own. My nieces and nephews and their children are like my children and grandchildren. When I came out, they all embraced and love their aunt Beverly. It has been an amazing experience. Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

Beverly  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

 Beverly  

Thank you, Beverly.  Your words ring true and are confidence building.  I will share this with my wife.  She needs to hear this as much as I do.  For her at this time, it's easier not to rock the boat but eventually I may have no choice.

 

Susan R?

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Susan R said:

she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...

Yes but as your daughters are either friends or family with other LGBT people, it has hit home already.  Reading this about them I really doubt there will be any concerns over Susan.  

 

As to your nails, when I stopped biting mine years ago I let them grow.  My wife said they're too long but I reminded her that my uncle (a truck driver who owned his own small fleet) always had nicely trimmed nails.  She wasn't used to seeing mine long since I had bit them for so long.  She got over it soon enough.  Just don't go crazy.  What you've showed us is hardly "long."  They look stylish!  Go Susan Go!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 163 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Mmindy
    • Maddee
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      Congrats to your family on the new addition!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Funny you think that I would be able to get through more than two sentences with how bad my stutter gets (joking, of course)   My topic would probably be mythology, random Japan factoids in my mind, or a favorite story   (Best option would be a fave story of mine including a lot of factoids on Japanese myths-)
    • Willow
      Congratulations @ivy. Nothing beats a family growing two feet at a time!
    • April Marie
      I read each of your entries and learn so much. Thank you, especially, for the TransCentralPA info. I have been looking fora group and activities where I could express myself safely and with support. I missed this year's conference but next year might be possible and I am going to look at their other events, too.
    • April Marie
      Leadership and Management, the differences and similarities between the two as well as the applications of military leadership principles across the spectrum of professions.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...