Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Painted Fingernail Ban Temporarily Lifted ?


Susan R

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

I have an agreement with my wonderful wife that I can have my nails as long as I want until we have a guest or family over for a visit. I grow them out and then when someone comes over it's time to get out the clippers.  Well, our daughter and son-in-law who had planned to drive here this weekend had something come up so I didn't need to cut them.  One other thing, until I'm out to everyone I'm never allowed to paint my finger nails....toe nails are ok, no problem.  Well tonight, I decided to "dress up to the nines" in a little celebration that I didn't have to cut my nails until next week.  After I was all done dressing, doing my hair and makeup, my wife came up to me and asked, how about I paint your nails just for tonight and part of tomorrow?  You can imagine my excitement and answer being that I love long beautiful nails so much.

The polish is nothing special, just some $7 drugstore nail polish but it feels like a million bucks to me.  I haven't painted my fingernail in over 30 years so this was a real treat.

 

Susan R?

IMG_0583.JPG

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I like the color and they look beautiful Susan, very happy for you :)

 

Hugs

 

Cynthia -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thank you all for your kind comments.  You are all simply the best! 

@DeeDee @tracy_j @Willow @Kirsten @Cyndee @SaraAW @Jani @killjoyaiden

6 mos ago, If you would've told me I'd be posting online pictures of my long painted nails, I would've asked what planet you're from.  I just love all these changes and just can't help myself!

 

Susan R?

Link to comment

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Thanks @Beverly, @Ashlee and @killjoyaiden  I realize it's going to take time for my wife to transition along with me.  We're going to be with ppl in an hour or so that I haven't come out to yet, so as of a couple hours ago, I'm back to my "manly hands".  I can't believe how hard it was to finally sit down and start removing the polish & cut them back.  I actually procrastinated and experienced a moment of GD right then.   I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Susan R said:

I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

LOL! A sense of humor in transition is a good thing. Don't forget to remove your fake lashes and tuck your slip in. Thin eye liner I forgot to remove in my haste to get ready did me in at a graduation party for my nephew. It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

 

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

 

Hugs

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

I'm used to it now because of my past...living as both man and woman but it still doesn't prevent every mistake.  It usually means it's more costly if I make one.

 

1 hour ago, Cyndee said:

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

I've made a few mistakes recently.  My son-in-law came over without calling to get his laptop OS installed.  I sat there with my very long (unpainted) nails trying to type worrying about what he would think if he saw my nails.  Oh, the clicking sound made me cringe every key stroke.  He eventually looked over and saw my long nails tapping away.  My wife quietly laughed.  I looked over at her and gave HER the evil eye.  I was very embarrassed but I got thru it.  My son-in-law said nothing about my nails that day (to me at least).  My daughter and the entire family came over the next weekend.  My daughter kept looking at my hands.  I knew she was told because she was persistent in looking for my nails.  Luckily, I had trimmed them back a bit before they arrived but they were still a little longer than normal.  I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

 

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

 

Best to you dear

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

Yes, I agree.  I'm at the point where I wear tight undershirts and compression undershirts around them now  I am slowly trying to convey this to my wife.  She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.  I actually talked about it last night when I was making that post that I'm not getting any younger and the kids should know who I really am..the real me, for better or worse.  She understands but it's still very hard.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yes, these are the fine details to work out with your wife for sure Susan, such as the timing and how much information should be shared if any, as to maintain your already wonderful relationships . Definitely a go slow approach with much consultation in these delicate areas, sounds like you're on topic with her. I came out to our daughters when they were teens, even though they may have suspect something was up earlier. There were several rocky periods, mostly revolving worrying over what their friends might say, or how it would affect them. Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

 

Best wishes in your family setting Susan, especially with the little ones. There is a wonderful advantage to living authentically, being honest and transparent with those you love, it's healthy.

 

Hugs

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

My daughters are extremely LGBTQ friendly, two of the three girls have been personally involved in that community.  The third one has in-laws with gay children so she is very accepting too.  I remind my wife of this but she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...their reaction to you being a woman my differ from what you might expect."  In some regard, I agree.  But like you say, living authentically with loved ones is healthy and important to me.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.

  

Hi Susan!

By no means am I suggesting this is what every trans person should do, but I would like to share my own thought process and experience. I felt like I was keeping the real me, the best me, from all of my family members by not disclosing and living openly as me to them. They only knew an unhappy impostor posing as someone who wasn't real. I don't have children of my own. My nieces and nephews and their children are like my children and grandchildren. When I came out, they all embraced and love their aunt Beverly. It has been an amazing experience. Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

Beverly  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

 Beverly  

Thank you, Beverly.  Your words ring true and are confidence building.  I will share this with my wife.  She needs to hear this as much as I do.  For her at this time, it's easier not to rock the boat but eventually I may have no choice.

 

Susan R?

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Susan R said:

she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...

Yes but as your daughters are either friends or family with other LGBT people, it has hit home already.  Reading this about them I really doubt there will be any concerns over Susan.  

 

As to your nails, when I stopped biting mine years ago I let them grow.  My wife said they're too long but I reminded her that my uncle (a truck driver who owned his own small fleet) always had nicely trimmed nails.  She wasn't used to seeing mine long since I had bit them for so long.  She got over it soon enough.  Just don't go crazy.  What you've showed us is hardly "long."  They look stylish!  Go Susan Go!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 344 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • MAN8791
    • ClaireBloom
    • Jamey-Heather
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,088
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Lillie B
    Newest Member
    Lillie B
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • MAN8791
      I am gender fluid, leaning heavily towards trans masc. My eldest is male and despite all the "stuff" we deal with with him (autism, speech delay, etc) I found him to be easy to raise. When my middle kid (female) was born, literally the first words out of my mouth were "I don't know how to raise a girl!" And I really felt I didn't know. She showed me. She's still showing me how to exist as comfortable and completely secure in her gender expression. It is entirely awe inspiring to see all three of them feel so settled in their bodies in ways that I never, ever felt or feel to this day.
    • Ashley0616
      That sounded like an awesome opportunity to dress as your actual self. I have to say I'm a little jealous lol. I never got compliments from people and definitely haven't been kissed. I can imagine that part was still really nice and boosted your confidence.
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome what kind of gaming do you like?
    • April Marie
      I've been absent so much lately I feel as if I'll never catch up. Too much going on in our lives that's kept me away from the keyboard. and limited my time as "me."   I am so looking forward to your post on how you arrange your life. I know that I won't ever be able to fully transition so finding some happy balance is crucial for me.
    • Sally Stone
      Mae, you are so sweet for making this comment.   Desert Fox, you are so right.  I always knew that even though I was part-time, my motivation was way more complicated than a simple desire to wear women's clothes.   Your question is a timely one because in my next post, I am going to talk about how compartmentalized my life is, and the short answer is yes.  I have friends who only know Sally, friends who only my male persona, and a rare few that know both.  
    • VickySGV
      @EasyE With my background in Behavioral Sciences I do go to actual conferences for the medical and psychological professionals that deal with Trans Youth, and in those conferences, the ethics of "too fast" versus "too slow and restrictive" are a heavy concern.  There is very thoughtful sharing among the participants for making professional judgments that the therapist is comfortable with without being afraid of what is "too soon" or "not soon enough" to advance to medical prescription therapies. The ethics of what constitute reasonable caution or unreasonable delay are deeply at play in those situations, with the idea to prevent harm while alleviating the patient's stress and other issues.  This type of conference fulfills Continuing Education license requirements that most states and other areas have.  From them the therapist may seem to "speed up" their evaluation process, but it is based on the accumulated experience of colleagues, just as is true in other professions and yes, even trades. 
    • April Marie
      That's wonderful news!! I took our pup in for her Vet check today - perfect. She slept 7 hours last evening and is coming along really well with her house breaking and crate training.   I know you'll have some excitement with a new Boxer!! 
    • KathyLauren
      Surgeries are drastic, and indeed should be a last resort for minors.  As indeed they are.  It is very rare for anyone under 18 to get gender-affirming surgery.  It is typically only done if the person would be suicidal without it.   Puberty blockers are a way to avoid the "drastic measure" of forcing the person to undergo the wrong puberty.  They should not be prescribed lightly, and I don't think they are.  They are a way to go slow until the person can truly make an informed decision.
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
      My Endo keeps track of several trace chemicals in my blood system that can be affected by our slightly different hormone balance, keeping in mind we have had both hormones all our life, just in different balance.  I did have to change one diuretic I was taking that was crashing out one chemical that does affect energy levels, and it turned out that Spiro was the alternative to that one for the way it works there.  I was never on Spiro for the hormone issues per se.  Let your doctor know about the fatigue sometime today or whenever you read this. 
    • Davie
      Hmmm .  .  . if I only had a ten-word description that completely described my identity. That would be great, but one doesn't exist. "I'm a girl—and a boy. And neither—and both?" There. Now you know, right? Maybe not. —Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you should discuss it with your doctor.  I know you are 'asking around' but experience probably varies.
    • Jet McCartney
    • VickySGV
      This one is behind a pretty heavy pay-wall, for me $50 US/per year.  
    • Jet McCartney
      Bipolar got me high and low. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...