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My struggle with transitioning

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So I'm non-binary (genderfluid maybe?) and I've always wanted to get onto HrT which will make me happier but in the back of my mind I've made up this situation where I have to look as fem as Kim Petras or Laverne Cox to be acceptable but I don't want that. So how do I get that thought out of my head

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Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Trans Pulse, hon.  In answer to your question, may I suggest that you do some people watching; in a park, in the mall, anywhere, really, and observe the women of all ages passing by.  You'll notice ( I hope) that hardly any of them look like Laverne Cox, Kim Petras, or any of the celebrities and VIPs you see on T.V. or in the movies.  We come in all shapes, sizes, weights, hair color, bone structure, etc. etc.


The point of the exercise is to try and get you to realize that almost none of us look like the ideal, while almost all of us are satisfied with not looking like the ideal.  If the opposite were true, we would all be very depressed.


I regretted for a while not transitioning while younger, so I could perhaps have looked like the vision I had in my head.  But my therapist correctly pointed out that regret never helped anyone and serves no useful purpose, other than keeping therapists like her employed.


Like it was said to Robin William's character in the movie "The Bicentennial Man," its the flaws that make us human, that give our faces character.  I don't know if all of what I said will get those voices out of your head, but maybe now you won't listen to them quite so much.


BTW, if you haven't done so already, we'd love to have you post something about yourself in the Introductions Forum.




Carolyn Marie

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Alex C
  • Hey Yeah i go through that everyday and I been HRT for over 7month..I will look at girl or woman and think " I will never have her body, hair, lips..etc" I begin judging myself and then I will judge then..its a stupid but vicious cycle of highs and lows. Carolyn trick might work and she is right;  we all have our own shapes, sizes and treats, but that does not stop me from judge myself or then. I will tell that my Gender Thp ( who inform on my last visit that she leave) did help with this. She kept stressing the same mantra that Carolyn is saying. " We are all diff, enjoy you, fig out what make you special"...I still haven't fig that out....Good Luck,, Be Proud, Stay safe and Kick Ass

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