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Maid In Bedlam

Ironic isnt it?

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Maid In Bedlam

Once upon a time i would dream to wear skirts. Even dream of wearing a  dress everyday. Instead of jeans and male associated clothing.

 

Now 5 years after i officially started transition and acomplished my goals. What do I wear? mainly Jeans and leggings. Perhaps a pair of cropped Jeggins. But hardly ever wear skirts or dresses.

Granted they are more female orientated. But are still trousers and was not part of the dream

 

The world was supposed to be filled with angel dust and pink ponys! What happened to it? Did it change or did I?

 

A case of fantasy vesus reality perhaps?

 

Isnt it ironic that. All those things you believed to be for the better are sometimes just a false created illusion.

 

Im not complaining, far from it. I love how my life turned out and would never wish to be how it was. But real life compared to what we think it will be like is a very diffrent almost parallel universe.

 

Another thing i do miss from those days were you could just get up. Some cold water in the face comb across my hair and those clothes will do and then off out the door. Instead of getting up. Moisterise. Try not to spend half an hour deciding what to wear. Washing fully.,including a hair wash or even shower then half hour with makeup. Before thinking maybe that wasnt the right top today and spending another 10 to 20 minutes picking something you think more suitable. Then being able to leave. Thats after stuggling if its warm with the buckle on a pair of sandals for another 10 minutes.

 

Now i as well as work I keep a home and cook for my partner everyday.  Not something i originally imagined. Dont get me wrong i love it but again it reverts back to where have the pink ponys and sprinkles of angel dust gone? That wasnt part of the plan. But is now a big part of my life. Didnt even consider it.

 

There is some plus sides. Lets not be so hasty.

 

People smile more. Well i notice it. Maybe its just me with a more positive demener. Just the other day a fella come up and spoke to me and my pal when we was out at the shops. He wasnt tryimng to sort out a date. He was much older than both of us but. told us we both looked lovely and just wanted to chat about how lovely the day was and this un that. Now i doubt if that would have happened to me 10 years ago. Plus i even recall his name. Now tell me way back i would have imagined how much nicer the world would seem by a transition and i would have just laughed at you.  But it does seem to be.

 

I can now be all emotional and say awww at something cute and sweet and not feel like its a threat to my manhood. the shackles of playing a role i was never good at are now broken for good.

 

I made my bed and im very happy to lie in it.  The dream never became a nightmare just an altered perception

 

Im not going to whine saying "My life never turned out the way i imagined". Even with all the negatives its still better but in a diffrent way to my thinking and reality of 10 years ago

 

 

 

So a quick question for the ladies who have reached there goal. Does that sound like you? Is it just me? I hope not to save my sanity 😊

 

You male of the species do not know how easy you have it.  Been there so can rightly compare. However in some areas it lags behind greatly.

 

When you can sit for a moment and compare the diffrences there far more than you could imagine  . But  do you have the realisation, what you imagined was just an elaborate fantasy you created in your mind?

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Charlize

It does sound a great deal like my experience with the exception that i do wear skirts quite often unless work on the farm makes pants more appropriate.

The old fantasies about being a "hottie" are gone and now life is simpler even though there may be a bit more time required in self care and appearance.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Ellora
Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

The world was supposed to be filled with angel dust and pink ponys! What happened to it? Did it change or did I?

Personally, My world is filled with Unicorns and Fairy dust, ☺️🦄. Reality sometimes interferes with my world, but thats life. 

When im finally comfortable enough to wear skirts and dresses on a daily basis, it will either be shorts or skirts/dresses. I will avoid wearing pants for as long as possible, I only wear pants when necessary.

As soon as I can get rid of my facial hair, I will be doing the make up thing, but that will also be situational, I dont think Ill be going all out, because sometimes, lipstick and mascara is all a girl really needs. 

Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

So a quick question for the ladies who have reached there goal. Does that sound like you? Is it just me? I hope not to save my sanity

I dont think I will change much, I havent changed yet, and Im still on the same path while everything is happening. Im very Happy and comfortable, (lipstick on, and face moisturized and loving it!)

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Maid In Bedlam
10 minutes ago, Charlize said:

 

The old fantasies about being a "hottie" are gone

 

 

So those throughts  of being fed grapes by half naked men just like cleopatra are now a thing of the past Charlize?

Ill speak to the dream boys. See if we can sort something out 😂

 

Im sure that isnt the case. Ive seen the pictures. Your still a hottie so there. Just a more mature one who can still tame a Big BMW motorbike.  😘

 

BTW. Im looking forwald to your tale of riding the lil Scooter

 

Just now, Ellora said:

I dont think I will change much, I havent changed yet, and Im still on the same path while everything is happening. Im very Happy and comfortable, (lipstick on, and face moisturized and loving it!)

 

Even a bit of foundation blush and masscara/Lipstick etc takes me half an hour. I guess i have more cracks in the pavement than i use to😊 But this is just for everyday. So not to silly

 

Its mostly hair to be honest. Especially when i wash it. Takes so much work. But hey ho.

 

I said things wouldnt change. But they did. Give it another few years. But in saying that if they do then im am sure they will change with still plenty of unicorns and perhaps lashings of fairydust. :angel:

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Josie Beth

I have to take a shower before leaving the house. My hair doesn’t have to be perfect but in place. And I spend less time getting clothes on if I decide the day before but sometimes weather fools me so I’m stuck picking out new clothes or trying to find them. I always moisturize. I usually wear jeans but lately they are more form fitting and less roomy so they don’t look very manly. I suppose if I did try to dress very manly I’d look pretty ridiculous now. Even in more unisex clothes I am starting to look more feminine and less distinct. I’m not as lucky with makeup so it’s either all or nothing. I can put on a “no makeup look” but it’s still a full face. I think the bigger differences are not in clothing choices but in how the feminine mind processes things in a more measured way. There’s less rush, not that there are no times where rushing happens, but it’s less important to rush. Guys like to hurry, get it done, push it through. But then again I’ve always been the one who stops to not just smell the flowers, but sit in the garden and people watch. I think growing older and realizing what femininity really is, that it’s more than the clothes, has opened my eyes to who I’ve always been. It’s just cosmetics at this point.

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Ellora
Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

Its mostly hair to be honest. Especially when i wash it. Takes so much work. But hey ho.

Ive been blessed with curly hair, and it is long too. I do not have to much , other than leave in some conditioner, and my hair takes care of the rest. 

 

Oh i will probably take a bit to put on make up when im feeling extra girly, but i guess it doesnt bother me as much when i do. I really like every little bit of everything like make up and skirts. Thats part of my Happy Place. 

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Ellora
Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

I said things wouldnt change. But they did. Give it another few years. But in saying that if they do then im am sure they will change with still plenty of unicorns and perhaps lashings of fairydust. :angel:

Heehee, probably, Im just enjoying it all. Maybe get some glitter and sprinkle it on yourself every now and when needed?  💜

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Jani

It all comes down to reality world versus fantasy world.  This isn't the 1950's when women wore dresses every day, everywhere.  We strive to be comfortable and stylish, and to have our clothing work for us towards that goal.  

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tracy_j

It has go a little to that thinking, but I still love to dress up and strive to look my best when out for the Sunday shop. I don't think I would get back to jeans or trousers every day. It's just not me. I do wear leggings much of the time though, usually with a short skirt for modesty. At this present moment as I am sat here writing I am wearing my new winter ankle boots, breaking them in a bit (womens boots are generally narrower so although the size is right, just need a little coaxing). I am thinking, even visualising, what I will wear with them. Ok one has to be realistic, but fantasies can come true. It's working to make it happen.

 

I still wonder about men, and how their 'quick and simple' approach is lost when you consider plonking a dress over your head takes seconds. One of my first thoughts was how quick it was to dress in the summer with undies and a dress.  In winter I still love the feeling of the cosy layered approach that I never felt with menswear.

 

Yes, I too moisturise all the time for my skin. I only usually wear any makeup when out. I use foundation, a hint of lipstick and define eybrows, partly for skin protection and to give a boost. It's interesting to read the 'half an hour for makeup' @Maid In Bedlam. I remember one day at work discussing makeup with a woman co-worker. We were wearing similar makeup. She sounded shocked when I told her I spent that long putting it on. I have always taken a long time with things so it's not that different (how did I spend so long getting organsised even as a man?). I love the pampering LOL.

 

As for angel dust and pink ponies? Well I still wakeup in the morning surrounded by my cuddly dogs LOL

 

Yes it does become everyday, as does any routine. I do still look around and enjoy my freedom though.

 

Tracy

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Ellora
3 hours ago, tracy_j said:

surrounded by my cuddly dogs

Cuddly dogs will beat out angel dust and  pink ponies any day! 🐶🐶🛏🐶🐶

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Charlize

My angle dust disappeared in the 70's after we buried the hippie(and set some substances aside).   

12 hours ago, Jani said:

 This isn't the 1950's when women wore dresses every day, everywhere.

I rarely wear dresses but find skirts so comfortable.  Maybe at first it was to boost my confidence, making a gender statement.  Now its a matter of comfort.  I'm looking forward to cool days with long skirts with long socks or fleece tights in the worst of it.  

I still have a little black mini skirt.  In my teen and early adult life they were part of fashion.  Halloween?

I do find it a pity that so few women wear skirts.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Jani
22 minutes ago, Charlize said:

I do find it a pity that so few women wear skirts.

I know!  I have a nice selection of colorful skirts that I try to work into my daily wear whenever I can.  

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Maid In Bedlam

Dont get me wrong. I got plenty of skirts. Some even to short to be called a skirt. More a pelmet.

 

I just do not really wear them to often. In fact where i am your more inclined to see a man in a kilt than a woman in a skirt.

 

Summer heat is a diffrent story. In the summer im dresses all the way. But its Scotland. There isnt much and when there is you make the most of it.

 

Women of my age and area just dont wear them to often. In fact if i do wear one i do believe i am one of the very few that are round here.

 

In the days when i tucked. Skirts were just so easy. Now it doesnt matter as there is nothing to tuck.

 

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Josie Beth

@Maid In Bedlam now I finally understand your avatar! No I suppose that Scotland isn’t very skirt friendly with the weather. Moist damp cold air would make me choose something else to wear, like heavy wool sweaters, maybe some jeans, or wool pants and muck boots. Not the scratchy kind though. My skin needs merino wool or felt/flannel. I wish I still had my cashmere sweater. It’s one of those comfy things that just disappeared over the years and I suspect someone stole. 

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Maid In Bedlam

Look what you all done to me.

 

Today I wore a skirt and heels and it wasnt even sunny,. My goodness.

 

What is the world coming to 🤣

 

I will admit it is nice to once in a while. Just so i can still feel a tiny bit femine.  Plus apprently i have great legs. Shame to waste them. Ive never seen it myself. But i can only go by what i am told. I did at first think after being told this : "Whats this person after?" ☺️

 

However i will be going back to leggings tommrow i expect.

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