Just When I Thought It Was Over...

[Guest LightNebula]

I hope you feel better and you can get chest surgery in the future.

[Guest amie]

Bein' outed is a jumpstart to courage, so to speak...and the "outer" is the jumpercables.

Consider, it's not like the fear and timidness goes away once it's been made public or known to a select party/parties.

You now have to face those that know and deal with them in the most appropriate and effective manner possible, which is something maybe some of us need a little push with, yu know?

This certainly doesn't apply to everyone, I realize. I just like the thought of "outeez" tryin' to look at it this way if and when it occurs.

Hell, you'd be surprised perhaps in that most of 'em knew all along anyway...and as well, how many of 'em don't rilly give a ****.

[Guest yvonne]

Welcome to the real world of men.

Every species has the "pecking order" and he was just being a bully, like many men are. Women do it to each other, too. It's just life.

Far too many men are bullies in the work place to any new comer. Their excuse is, "he has to EARN his place here". The reality is, it's Jr. High School playground stuff.

This will occasionally become part of your new life. It's never easy to deal with it, but it's going to happen from time to time and, in many cases, it has nothing to do with your gender. It's just a man finding a weakness in another man and exploiting it to make themselves feel bigger.

One solution to a bully is to "punch them in the nose", figuratively, at least, not really. Once you punch back, many times they leave you alone after that. I'm not advising you to do that, but you're going to get picked on in the future.

I usually try to just ignore them (as a man) and that just makes them madder, which is fine with me. Once they figure out they're not getting the reaction they'd hoped for, they get tired of it and pick on someone else.

I wish you all the strength in the world. Don't make too much of this and do your best to get over it as soon as you can.

When people are confronted with this, I remind them that, if they don't respect the person who said offensive things to them, whatever they say shouldn't get any consideration.

My best example is: You're walking down the street and a derelict rises from the gutter and shouts mean things to you as you pass by. You've never seen the person before, so their remarks aren't really hurtful over the long term. This is no different.

Let it go, Louie. Smile and be yourself. You can't control what others say or think, you can only control how you react to things. Control your thoughts to bring you peace of mind.

[Guest mia 1]

Bronx the best thing is you have your wife for support and the other good thing, even though your neighbors were sh-t faced they weren't being hostile just plain old stupid and through their alcohol miasma sympathetic,,,worse things could happen in the American South...believe me...Sorry not wanting to pick on the old confederacy,,there are a million rednecks in NYC as you well know..just a bit of stereo typing with all this crap going on against Obama and the health care fiasco I'm kinda sore with the solid Repub support in the old slave holding states.......Mia

[Guest gentleman1]

I got a good laugh over Allison's way of handling a stupid man. Makes me think that if I am ever confronted by a bio-male, I wonder how he'd react if I kissed him! Would he have been kissed by a "woman" or a man!!! Very amusing !

Seriously now, that guy just wanted to feel "superior" like he had the "goods" on you. "It's ok, lil buddy, it will only be our secret!" Not worth any more time or trouble! You are the better and real man, dude! - S.