Rlt/rle/full Time

[Paula ult]

Depending what site you go to the explanations for RLT/RLE/Full Time vary a great deal, some say that living 24/7 in your preferred gender, being out to everyone including work and having a name change is RLT/RLE/Full Time, i sort of agree except i don't think you need to be out to everyone only those that need to know.

I live in my preferred gender 24/7, am out to those that need to know except work, coming soon, and my name change is not done yet, coming soon, my therapist says as far as he's concerned i am full time to which i say not until i have my name change done and am out at work.

What do you consider the guidelines for RLT/RLE/Full Time ?

Paula

[Guest AllisonD]

I think this must be a trick question, because it seems too obvious.

You are full time if you relate to your world only in your chosen gender.

I don't think surgeries or hormones or therapies or legalities should play at all. Surely the point is, can you function completely immersed in your chosen gender? No 'time outs' as someone else allowed, I would think. The fact that your paperwork or therapist hasn't caught up to you should not matter in the slightest.

I must be missing something ....

Allison

[Paula ult]

Allison i agree with you 100% but many therapists and others don't see it that way, as i said even though i live 24/7 in my preferred gender i won't consider myself full time until i am out at work and have my name change done, to me that signals the beginning of full time and starts the clock running.

Paula

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Allison, I agree with you on that point. I am full time, relate to the world in only a female manner and work as a woman as well. Just because I havent got the money right now for my name change doesnt make this phase any less real; to those who I meet for the first time I introduce myself as Joanna, and many of those who knew me before (including Drs, and therapists) call me Joanna or Ms Phipps. Yes I know I need the name change to finally seal the deal but for right now Im walking the walk, and (as best I can) talking the talk.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I have recently wrapped up my sessions with my therapist...He signed me off...I'm good to go...

Therapy doesn't have to be a life long commitment!

But as I was leaving, he asked me when did I plan on having the surgery ?

I said I still have to come out formally and do RLT/RLE...

He told me that I had been doing RLT/RLE

for years ....just from the inside...

He's got a Hugg a commin'

Donna Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

You are full time if you relate to your world only in your chosen gender.

Ditto. My adjustment? I would only want the name change as a therapist not to "validate" it in terms of legal state but rather because it "pushes" official entities to relate to you in the chosen gender also.

[Sally]

I plan on going full time pretty soon but in the way that Donna Jean and Lizzy have fairly non genderspecific clothing (bought from the women's department) and working under my current name as I progress into less and less passibel as a male of any kind I will go about the name change for ease of working in society and then as to dressing it will still be pretty tame - no one wears the Mrs. Cleaver outfits any more.

I'll leave the pearls and spike heels out of the daily life, those are for formal occasions now.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest B.heard]

"You are full time if you relate to your world only in your chosen gender"

without surgeries? without hormones?

I get how you would feel full time doing that but what if your world doesnt want to or cant relate to you as your chosen gender? are you full time if you look and sound wrong? cant be treated as the gender you wish to be?

On my last visit to my gender clinic I was told im now doing RLT because Im male inside, live as male and because the world cant really relate to me as a female any longer.

I dont think name change documents make it happen there just handy to have but I do believe you need to be in a place where you can pass through the world as your chosen gender without much trouble to be really living the RLT and I believe doctors should be giving us whatever is needed to make that happen the best and safest way possible.

[Guest angie]

Depending what site you go to the explanations for RLT/RLE/Full Time vary a great deal, some say that living 24/7 in your preferred gender, being out to everyone including work and having a name change is RLT/RLE/Full Time, i sort of agree except i don't think you need to be out to everyone only those that need to know.

I live in my preferred gender 24/7, am out to those that need to know except work, coming soon, and my name change is not done yet, coming soon, my therapist says as far as he's concerned i am full time to which i say not until i have my name change done and am out at work.

What do you consider the guidelines for RLT/RLE/Full Time ?

Paula

When you no longer present in the gender you were born.And take on the role of your true gender without reverting no matter the

circumstance,that is fulltime.I lived in full time for eighteen months prior to name change.Name change made it legal,and gave me

great peace.

Angie

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

I guess one would need to define what is meant by the term 'out', I'm under the impression that 'out' means out of the closet=your trueself female/male fully exposed so to speak...One is 'out' full time when their closet door's been boarded up for good...

I agree with Angie, full time means full time and in the sense of the Real Life ‘Experience’ that trans-people are suppose to do prior to GAS, living ‘full time’ as your preferred gender is a must[regardless of whether one has had name change or not]…If you can’t bit the bullet and live ‘full time’ [not letting any social anxieties that you might have make you revert back to your birth sex every now and again] -then you are defiantly not ready to have something permanent/major like Gender Affirming Surgery…

One needs to be 100% 'psychologically' sure of themselves and the ONLY way for this to come about is for the trans-person to be totally open in order to run the gender gauntlet that society throws down 24/7[no putting on ones old male/female armour when it gets too tough] and if they survive the gauntlet then they are ready to take the next major step…

That’s what the RLE is all about - for one to ‘experience’ life to the ‘full’ 24/7/52/and so on- no matter what it might throw at you…

Remember …”After the snip- there’s no return trip- So why not learn to enjoy your Real Life flip!”

Metta Jendar

[Guest AshleyRF]

"You are full time if you relate to your world only in your chosen gender"

without surgeries? without hormones?

I get how you would feel full time doing that but what if your world doesnt want to or cant relate to you as your chosen gender? are you full time if you look and sound wrong? cant be treated as the gender you wish to be?

On my last visit to my gender clinic I was told im now doing RLT because Im male inside, live as male and because the world cant really relate to me as a female any longer.

I dont think name change documents make it happen there just handy to have but I do believe you need to be in a place where you can pass through the world as your chosen gender without much trouble to be really living the RLT and I believe doctors should be giving us whatever is needed to make that happen the best and safest way possible.

I'm not sure I get what you are saying here. Are you saying that if you can't pass, you basically can never be full time because the world really won't see you as your desired gender?

I don't think it matters how the world views you, it's how you view yourself. I know several GGs who can't pass for women half the time and vise versa. We don't take away their gender marker so why should a TS person be any different.

[Guest _Michael]

When you no longer present in the gender you were born.And take on the role of your true gender without reverting no matter the

circumstance,that is fulltime.I lived in full time for eighteen months prior to name change.Name change made it legal,and gave me

great peace.

Angie

If you lived fulltime for 18 months without a name change, weren't their circumstances at say like work or the doctor's that you were forced to revert back to your old name?

From what I've read I was under the experience that the RLE and the RLT were different. Like the RLE was done pre hormones, and it was basically living fulltime as much that you can pre everything but it didn't expect you to be out at work or in other sensitive situations, and that RLT was absolute full time after hormones and the namechange.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

If you lived fulltime for 18 months without a name change, weren't their circumstances at say like work or the doctor's that you were forced to revert back to your old name?

From what I've read I was under the experience that the RLE and the RLT were different. Like the RLE was done pre hormones, and it was basically living fulltime as much that you can pre everything but it didn't expect you to be out at work or in other sensitive situations, and that RLT was absolute full time after hormones and the namechange.

Actually I am in that situation right now, living full time with out the name change. My Dr's and therapists call me by my female name despite the fact that the insurance records and medical records all have to be in my old name.  As far as RLE pre-anything it can be done. Thick skin, the right attitude, getting the eyebrows waxed and learning how to dress, and move so that from a distance or quick glance the image is backed up by the body. Learning how to shave super close so that under the concealer and makeup you can pass at a range of 3 feet. The hardest thing is to learn to talk like a woman since most men have a longer larynx and that makes the voice deeper (incedentally hormones WILL NOT fix this).

If you need the bathroom, walk in like you used to walk into the mens, you belong there as much as any gg and any hesitancy on your part will pretty much assure you of being found out. I was on RLT for two months (many of the sisters here will tell you how frustrating it was for me) before my shrink and dr would even consider hormones. The name change is the legal validation of what you already know and enables your to bring all of your documentation into line with that, however I dont thing its necessary to living fulltime. If it is what would you call someonen who relates to the world only as a woman, this includes daily life and work but yet has not done the name change and may not be able to afford surgery? I would be curious because that is me that Im talking about.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

from what I know RLT (Real Life Test) is dished out by the therapist when they want to see if someone can not only survive but thrive as a woman. This is usually done prehomones and is what happened to me.

RLE is post hormones and is the time durring which things like the name change and other legal necessities are taken care of and for many is the run up to GAS.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Depending what site you go to the explanations for RLT/RLE/Full Time vary a great deal, some say that living 24/7 in your preferred gender, being out to everyone including work and having a name change is RLT/RLE/Full Time, i sort of agree except i don't think you need to be out to everyone only those that need to know.

I live in my preferred gender 24/7, am out to those that need to know except work, coming soon, and my name change is not done yet, coming soon, my therapist says as far as he's concerned i am full time to which i say not until i have my name change done and am out at work.

What do you consider the guidelines for RLT/RLE/Full Time ?

Paula

My therapist and I have talked - she says EXACTLY what your therapist says - and is giving me credit for RLE - I tried coming out at work - ha! I like my new job too much to try that again!

And my therapist says - time to change my name legally. Here in Louisiana you can do theat easily - but the 'm' stays on your license until SRS.

So Paula - you are over a year on HRT - and looking great! And I am the puppy dog following you!

Lizzy