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Muffin Jokes.. Oh Yes Lots Of Them


Guest ShannonA23

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Guest Steven22

Everyone needs good clean no so funny jokes. Why you ask? I shall tell. Because one of these days you will be surrounded by people you don't know at a place you have never been to and it will be awkward. Nothing breaks the ice like a bad clean joke (I used them so much its now a joke to tell a joke).

here it goes

2 muffins are in the oven. one turns to the other and says "Gosh darned its hot in here" the other muffin replies "holy crap a talking muffin!"

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins cant talk.

2 Muffins walk into a bar, the bartender says we dont accept your dough here.

Enjoy

-Lauren

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Guest julia_d

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair eating a cake, while her dad gets his haircut.

The barber smiles at her and says, "sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."

"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get boobs too."

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Guest julia_d

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful muffin".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful muffin, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a muffin, I`ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I`ve told you I`m a beautiful muffin, that I`ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won`t you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I`m an engineer. I don`t have time to eat a muffin, but a talking frog, now that`s cool."

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Joanna Phipps
2 muffins are in the oven. one turns to the other and says "Gosh darned its hot in here" the other muffin replies "holy crap a talking muffin!"

-Lauren

The cook looked into the oven and said "Silence, Ill keeel you ", but then he was a bone head giggles

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Guest Joanna Phipps
What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins cant talk.

Any response I could think of probably would include something about toppings and wouldnt be pg13

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Guest Steven22
Any response I could think of probably would include something about toppings and wouldnt be pg13

Grrrrr now I have to hear it, on the other hand I might be sorry lol

-Lauren

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...
Guest uscgvet

You are standing directly in the doorway of a room. The room is large and empty, except that Gina Lollabrigida (remember?) is standing facing you, naked, with her back against the wall opposite you.

You take one giant step which covers half the distance between you and her. Then you take another step covering half the distance remaining. You keep on taking steps each covering half the distance remaining between you and Gina. Will you ever reach her?

A mathematician says, "No."

But an engineer says, "You'll get close enough for all practical purposes."

(My father, who just died, told that joke often. He was a renowned research mathematician - but there's me and my brother!)

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  • 3 months later...
Guest 91curiouskitten

Steven I think I stole the joke o.o" my dad told it to me I diddnt think it was, well you undertsand my thinking process or lack thereoff x.x Sorry T.T -hugs- x.x and yes I do genuinely feel bad x_x

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