The Weekend , The Women, The World

[Guest Evan_J]

I have no idea why I'm posting this.....maybe to look at exactly how messy it is.

I have a girl I know in rl who....is very nice , but straight, and married . Calm down , we're not involved , not even close. I don't do "married". I don't "understand" her though because she seems to particularly want trans friends. (I actually expressed this some time back to someone in a pm...) She's not LGBT at all but has ....amassed ....both FtM and MtF friends. She also is very "into" advocating for LGBT rights. Alright cool, she's an ally. Before I went into the hospital, she was all wanting to go out and have coffee and just (in my opinion) do too freaking much hanging out with me to be a married woman. I don't dig that. Yeah, married women have friends, they just don't have single men friends who they spend time with , just the two of em , and everythings hunkey-dorey. I'm old fashioned. The fact that she pursued that told me one of two things : either really she was looking to cheat on her husband or she didn't see me as male. My opinion is its the second. Which would be reason enough for me to be turned off being friendly with her. To that end, I haven't gone out of my way to contact or see her in 4 weeks. I used recovering as an excuse and "let it drift". Yesterday she came to the same church service as me. (Ok, so I knew she went to that one but needed to not run into ANOTHER set of people who I anticipated would also be at that service and in fact I was scheduled to usher so it worked that I showed up for that one regardless). ANYway, after service (and I thought she picked up I was avoiding her? apparently not so....) she gives me a card that I realize was a "get well soon" type deal even when she produced the envelope. She leaves (I think) and I ultimately end up in the downstairs of our church for the after-service social hour. Little do I realize it, but she actually HAS NOT left but is sitting to the side watching me open this card. So I do, its very nice (perfect actually for a trans person) and I'm smilin and whatnot and then I see her. So I hug her. We small talk and I mention I'm surprised her husbands not with her. Surprisingly, she says he is. She also mentions that they've recently had a disagreement and stuffs a little "disgruntled" on each end. Right then he walks up. ( feel free to laugh cuz yes this where it turns into a shakespearean comedy) He walks up . She attempts to introduce me and I attempt to shake his hand but he's busy sayin "please, don't let me interrupt you while you're fondling my wife" . Her face says she wants to say "what????!!" but I gotta tell you, secretly I'm wonderin if this woman is not enjoyin this. All I could think was " why didn't you leave as soon as she said he came?" Eventually, over the next several minutes, I finesse the situation down, "block " her out, and talk to him man to man level about work and the industry and him needin a position. Things seem calm , he seems assured. Right now I'm actually DREADING openin my email though or my facebook because she's on there and I dunno if I wanna hear whatever it is she's sent me.

Other women I'm not eager to converse with ? I met this girl yesterday at a picnic who is NOT picking up the "I don't want you " clue. She's nice. But not my type. It sucks cuz she hangs around a group I like to hang around to.

The one girl who WAS eagar to talk to me that I potentially could want to talk to too I wonder if she's not married as well.

Tell me. IS THERE ONE SINGLE GIRL IN THE WORLD WHO I COULD GET TO TALK TO? Flustered, upset, discouraged.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Oh...Evan... The church thing with that girl made me cringe. That sounded intense.

I'm not having much luck with the ladies. The ones that like me are under the impression that I am going to be nicer than a "regular" guy. I think she sees me as a neutered house pet of a man, which I do NOT like. The other woman in my life wants me to be her boyfriend emotionally but not physically.

We've gotta find different women to talk to, man. There are single ladies out there. They're hiding.

[Sally]

Evan,

Ainsley is right, there are a lot of women around - and from the looks of this site more and more each day!

Don't give up one day a single lady (that you are actually interested in) will realize just how special you really are and you will never have to deal with these feelings again.

Have a little faith in yourself as well as women.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

The ones that like me are under the impression that I am going to be nicer than a "regular" guy. I think she sees me as a neutered house pet of a man, which I do NOT like.

Exaaaactly and I think thats the dumb.....stuff this one was thinking. Hubby on the other hand (and I kind of liked him for it...) was like "red alert, code blue, some man touching my woman" and halfway looked like he wanted to punch me in the face except I was bigger than he was and of a different ethnicity. I did not like the situation though. I was like "this guy gets peed off enough or threatened in some masculine way I can see him finding some friend and finding my *&&. Thats what "urines" me off about genetic women who do that -try to cast us in the "harmless" role- they don't think of it from the perspective of the genetic males in their lives who only see another male on their freaking territory. And honestly? I would have reacted the same way he did. I was the kind of husband be livid if my wife did something like that. In fact I was. My wife had this "guy friend" she worked with and wanted to sell her car to. Along the way she goes to his house with him during the transaction. I'm like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no reason, no day, as far as I'm concerned any mans wife needs to be alone in the house of another man who is single. The only thing I'm wondering at that point is whether or not you screwed him. And no I didn't raise the roof on it, (cuz a) it sounds insecure and b ) you're supposed to trust her or whatever (whatever) but I was "beside" myself, never ok about it, and wanted him dead after that.

[Guest *Elizabeth Anne*]

Evan

It is so rare that I give YOU advice, it always the other way around. You seemed to be a 'pawn' in one of that first woman's games. To be male, sometimes you have to be blunt to a woman - tell her 'go away." She sees a hesitation or a courtousy as a way for you to flirt without commitment. Kill that thought in her. Also - the attraction to transmen and others? Perhaps she is a 'female' version of an admirer. I didn't know they existed but I can see where it is possible. Having an attraction to a 'woman' who is now a man, allows her to NOT be Lesbian.

And yes, there are women available in your age group - MANY! Just be aware in this day and time, everyone seems to carry baggage. Sometimes things are workable, sometimes not.

The dude coming to beat you up maybe? That means you have arrived... and you are a 'male' competitor. The solution is simple - say to him "no intent man, don't worry about me." Thats code. He will know you get it.

And wow...

Me telling a guy how to act like a guy... long time since I had that happened!

Anytime, ask me! I have the playacting 'male' perfected (well almost).

hee hee

Lizzy

[Guest Evan_J]

The solution is simple - say to him "no intent man, don't worry about me." Thats code. He will know you get it.

That one actually I know. Its how we did not end up having problems ultimately. Heck I think I like him better than his wife lol. (she seems like a b. s. artist). As for the first one, yeah, you're right, I just feel like I'm puttin her down or something , (being overly sympathetic) but I do, I want her to scram-ola.

[Guest *Elizabeth Anne*]

Strange world! Seeing the world from both sides as you and I do , it sometimes gets confusing. One of the BIGGEST things I have to remember as a female is to NOT be friendly to men, as a general thing. I had one follow me to work! And if you turn down a woman who shows she is 'intersted" it has to be something wrong with YOU as a man.

{now you see why the school teacher avatar - sorry!}

Lizzy

[Guest Evan_J]

And if you turn down a woman who shows she is 'intersted" it has to be something wrong with YOU as a man.

lol yeah, actually I remember that one (having heard it) from several genetic dudes but sorry, lol this one is just not interesting ...not even at 1am with no witnesses LOL

Yes, my low-down, no-good side peeped up for 9 seconds and asked "are you suuuure?" but no its not even worth the back rubs and company on occasion.

[Guest *Elizabeth Anne*]

Women and childbearing pain?

Nothing compared to men and courting pain (arm around your date for a 3 hour movie).

And the one paper bag rule on a desparate blind date?

And the two paper bag rule (you wear one too in case hers comes off)

And the coyote rule (gnaw off your arm to escape so you don't wake her up!)

Oh yes - those days!

[Guest Evan_J]

Women and childbearing pain?

Nothing compared to men and courting pain (arm around your date for a 3 hour movie).

And the one paper bag rule on a desparate blind date?

And the two paper bag rule (you wear one too in case hers comes off)

And the coyote rule (gnaw off your arm to escape so you don't wake her up!)

Oh yes - those days!

ROFL The stinker is, I dunno if its "funny" or"sad" that I've actually lived each of those at least once in this life. I dunno. It's "good" on one hand to keep a brown paper bag list. (yeah I call it that -the girls who will only ever hear from you in the middle of the night, only for "limited" contact, and not again till the next need arises? never did I say I was an angel....) but in a way I'm like "tired" of the b.s. .....even my own b. s.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Evan, that cougar is trouble with a capital T.

There are lots of girls out there that are single. A nice way to meet them is to be nice to everyone and meet their friends. Eventually you'll meet the person of your dreams.

OR you can get yourself a dog and take it for walks around a park. You'll meet lots of woman that way. The dog has to be approachable though, but for Pete's sake no lap dogs for the men please unless it's a Jack Russell in which case the OCD will be too cute to resist.

OR *claps* even better go to a dance class. You'll be the only guy their not dragged their by their SO and have your pick of dance partner(s).

[Guest NatalieRene]

dang safari and the auto correct, it can't tell the difference between there and their. lol

[Guest Evan_J]

Evan, that cougar is trouble with a capital T..

Are they cougars though if you're actually a year older? Or just girls who are buttholes?

and

OR *claps* even better go to a dance class. You'll be the only guy their not dragged their by their SO and have your pick of dance partner(s).

I would comment but the irony is just too poinant.... lol

[Guest *Elizabeth Anne*]

Evan - that BS comment? How about this? Maybe you are the only one that sees your own BS....

... maybe others enjoy it - maybe you should just be what you are and let us love you???

MAYBE!

Just some thoughts

Lizzy

[Guest NatalieRene]

Are they cougars though if you're actually a year older? Or just girls who are buttholes?

and

I would comment but the irony is just too poinant.... lol

Wait how old are you? I just assumed that the person in your profile picture by clicking you link is you. You don't look old. Late twenties early thirties?

[Guest NatalieRene]

I would comment but the irony is just too poinant.... lol

well you asked how to meet nice single ladies. Maybe I'm naive but I am confused. What irony?

[Guest Mr.Yoav]

I have all these girls after me. But they have not a clue I'm trans. It's rather awkward to explain.

[Guest Jackson]

"What a tangled web we weave."

Evan, I feel for you. I really do. There are women out there. Trust me. I'm trying to deal with one who is more of a challenge than I ever wanted.

Anyway, they are out there. It just takes a little time.

[Guest Evan_J]

Wait how old are you? I just assumed that the person in your profile picture by clicking you link is you. You don't look old. Late twenties early thirties?

41. She's 40. (And her husband is 41 also, just for the record)

Evan - that BS comment? How about this? Maybe you are the only one that sees your own BS....

... maybe others enjoy it - maybe you should just be what you are and let us love you???

MAYBE!

Just some thoughts

Lizzy

(chuckling) I'll think about it.

I feel a little "beat up" emotionally. (And not cuz of this ) We'll see

well you asked how to meet nice single ladies. Maybe I'm naive but I am confused. What irony?

The ironty there is that I actually am supposed to show up at a ballroom class this weekend.

I like ballroom . And don't know this one. Its very popular where I'm living.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey Evan

I seen your picture.

You can't blame the married women when they use such an irresistibly handsome man to make their husbands jealous. And then you have that great personality to boot.

You're just going to have to grin and bear it.

P.S. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, just keep looking and you'll find her.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Zabrak]

Wow bro...that really sucks. At lest you calmed him down and things seemed cool. I think she was hanging with you because of her and her lovers problems...it happens.

[Guest NatalieRene]

The ironty there is that I actually am supposed to show up at a ballroom class this weekend.

I like ballroom . And don't know this one. Its very popular where I'm living.

There you go! Thats a great chance to meet someone. I hope it goes well for you. Let us know how it goes.

Hey Evan

I seen your picture.

You can't blame the married women when they use such an irresistibly handsome man to make their husbands jealous. And then you have that great personality to boot.

You're just going to have to grin and bear it.

P.S. I'm sure there is someone out there for you, just keep looking and you'll find her.

LUV

Jean

Yes you're adorable Evan. The husband was right to get jealous until you set him straight about your intentions.

[Guest My_Genesis]

The other woman in my life wants me to be her boyfriend emotionally but not physically.

We've gotta find different women to talk to, man. There are single ladies out there. They're hiding.

Friends with emotional benefits?

I'm finding this funny because I'm having the exact opposite problem - it's like, 70-75% of the students at my university are single (I actually have this statistic from a paper I wrote and was told that number is about right, it has been calculated before. ) and i just get really frustrated cuz im like, "I'm missing out just because I wasn't born right"

the way i just worded that...lol idk, maybe that's for the better.

and Evan, i would say look on the bright side, you are at this girl's husband's level of man-ness. or whatever you want to call it.

[Guest Zabrak]

The other woman in my life wants me to be her boyfriend emotionally but not physically.

I just read this. Oh my goodness?

Is this even possible? And if it is why would anyone do it?

[Guest My_Genesis]

I just read this. Oh my goodness?

Is this even possible? And if it is why would anyone do it?

maybe she's just asexual