The Weekend , The Women, The World

[Guest Zabrak]

maybe she's just asexual

Oh right...I forgot about asexuals...my bad.

[Guest My_Genesis]

lol. happens to the best of us.

[Guest Evan_J]

I just read this. Oh my goodness?

Is this even possible? And if it is why would anyone do it?

Thats not "asexual " Genesis (don't mind your friends while we talk about you Ains we make sure we do it where you can hear us ) Thats called "I want him to be my man, but I'm too chicken**** of what I think people will say if I admit it in the open, so I run to him for all my emotional needs but withold the goodies cuz I think that keeps me from wearin some kind of label that/s "unappealing" to me." Also called "I wanna get, but I don't wanna give ".

(Fellas)Y'all realize this whole conversation is making me thnk "phallo, must accomplish?" right? lol I dunno....between 60 other things I'm readin of other peoples experiences.....dudes tellin what happened in their primary rela. after transiton.......seein reactions from women....I dunno....And where the heck are the post-op brothers around here? I need to hear people chime in on "what went on afterwards".

[Guest Pól]

I would guess that even with a phallo, your love life still isn't going to be 'normal.'

[Sally]

I am so sorry that I wasn't here last night to help my twin brother while he was all upset and reading all of the comments that went back and forth while I was asleep - I missed so many chances to needle a sibling!

So I will put that aside and give you the only advice that I can give to anyone about relationships (being an expert on failed ones) don't deal with any b s from anyone - yourself included, if you feel that you are b sing take a deep breath a step back and just be yourself.

There is nothing wrong with being who you are but everyone thinks that there is - so no one actually knows anyone and that is the cause of all of the troubles later on.

The top ten causes of divorces are:

10. Too imature

9. Too independent

8. Emotional instability

7. Boredom

6. Growing apart

5. Dishonesty

4. Infidelity

3. Incompatability (finding out who each other really are)

2. Finances

1. Marriage

And most of those stem from play acting all through the courtship.

The main reason for divorce when we come out - our spouses are angered by our dishonesty, but how many of them actually showed their 'true colors' before marriage themselves - mine sure didn't.

So when someone is dating and they eat very little, laugh at all of your jokes, agree with virtually everything you say - these are not really always good signs they could also be warning signs.

People in general should stop playing games alll together and be open and honest and the world wouldn't be in such a mess - some people's hiden agendas don't stay hiden very long.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

I am so sorry that I wasn't here last night to help my twin brother while he was all upset and reading all of the comments that went back and forth while I was asleep - I missed so many chances to needle a sibling!

So I will put that aside and give you the only advice that I can give to anyone about relationships (being an expert on failed ones) don't deal with any b s from anyone - yourself included, if you feel that you are b sing take a deep breath a step back and just be yourself.

There is nothing wrong with being who you are but everyone thinks that there is - so no one actually knows anyone and that is the cause of all of the troubles later on.

The top ten causes of divorces are:

10. Too imature

9. Too independent

8. Emotional instability

7. Boredom

6. Growing apart

5. Dishonesty

4. Infidelity

3. Incompatability (finding out who each other really are)

2. Finances

1. Marriage

And most of those stem from play acting all through the courtship.

The main reason for divorce when we come out - our spouses are angered by our dishonesty, but how many of them actually showed their 'true colors' before marriage themselves - mine sure didn't.

So when someone is dating and they eat very little, laugh at all of your jokes, agree with virtually everything you say - these are not really always good signs they could also be warning signs.

People in general should stop playing games alll together and be open and honest and the world wouldn't be in such a mess - some people's hiden agendas don't stay hiden very long.

Love ya,

Sally

Where in gods name were you BEFORE I got married? lol

[Sally]

Where in gods name were you BEFORE I got married? lol

Peaking through the door of my bedroom, enjoying your torment, like a good sister.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

Peaking through the door of my bedroom, enjoying your torment, like a good sister.

Love ya,

Sally

lol

The truth is though (looking at it) I probably knew all of those things going in (like most people?) I just didn't wantt to know/hoped all the warning signals would be false. And I didn't know how EXTRAORDINARILY not authentic her presentation actually was. But well, (and I'm honest.....) neither was mine. Chalk it up. Write it off to "has learned his galdang lesson.

[Guest bronx]

I understand you Evan, but maybe i see things a little different as my experiences with women have been a little diffrenet thatn yours. I've always been the guy that girls love to hang out with, the guy that makes them laugh and stands up for them, because of this I have reaped the benifits so to say and learned alot about them as well. Making me both the safe guy and the he's really cute I should hook up with him guy. I have always been honest with them as well, if i wasn't interested I said soo, not avoided them. If I wasn't into a relationship I said so and had them decide if they wanted to deal with me or not. Although I am married now and some things I can no-longer do (not that I want to) I still maintain friendships with a number of females, some of who are married and I know their husbands. husbands are cool with me and there are bounderies on all involved. My wife knows this and it dosn't bother her because I am honest with her and she trusts me. I also trust her and she has male friends who are single. See my thing is if your gonna cheat your gonna cheat, regardless of howI act. So far I've only had one girl cheat on me my whole life. NOw me on the other hand, well lets just say I'm in Love now.

As for women that are available, well just be yourself and don't go after someone, let it happen and it will. it always does just keep your eyes open. You usuarally find someone when your busy taking care of you.

Women want men who is honest no-matter how it may make her feel in the end. She will respect you for that.

As for being the guy that used to be a **** don't worry all those thoughts usurally go away once they really start to know who we are. My women have all seen me as male, both before trantion and now.

[Guest Crossroads]

I found that as soon as I stopped looking, as soon as I assumed I'd not find anyone, and then was able to just be myself, I found Angie. Of course, I was going through that teenage annoying self-hating stuff, but you know. Many times we tend to act around people, and it isn't until we loosen up that people see the real us.

I always give people the same love/relationship advice! Anyone who wants it, feel free to take it.

~Be Yourself

~Keep Your Options Open (I'm often more attracted to men than women, and at the time ONLY men, but when I noticed Angie's little glances, I figured, why not. But this 'option' isn't just about gender. Sometimes your someone is right under your nose.) This also includes "Don't Ignore What's Right In Front of You", both good things AND bad things!

~Becoming Friends is more important. If someone wants to move immediately into something too close for comfort, something's wrong. Angie and I knew each other for 3 years and were close friends for about 6 months before becoming involved. And more often, people who are friends before a committed romantic relationship are able to continue that relationship much longer.

I'm not going to play the "What Women Want" game, because I don't know. But I can't imagine that anyone would want to be with someone and then find out they're someone else later. (in other words, Honesty, like bronx said)

[Guest Jean Davis]

I would guess that even with a phallo, your love life still isn't going to be 'normal.'

Explain NORMAL???

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Thats not "asexual " Genesis (don't mind your friends while we talk about you Ains we make sure we do it where you can hear us ) Thats called "I want him to be my man, but I'm too chicken**** of what I think people will say if I admit it in the open, so I run to him for all my emotional needs but withold the goodies cuz I think that keeps me from wearin some kind of label that/s "unappealing" to me." Also called "I wanna get, but I don't wanna give ".

(Fellas)Y'all realize this whole conversation is making me thnk "phallo, must accomplish?" right? lol I dunno....between 60 other things I'm readin of other peoples experiences.....dudes tellin what happened in their primary rela. after transiton.......seein reactions from women....I dunno....And where the heck are the post-op brothers around here? I need to hear people chime in on "what went on afterwards".

Guys, I have to tell you that my girl situation is not unique. For those of you who are attracted to women, this is something you must learn about. I have been shoved into what is called "the friend zone". This girl loves me. She tells me she loves me. She tells me everything and is not consciously "using" me. My_Gen, she's definitely not asexual, just not interested in me. I used to date this girl and we were physical...just not now. We broke up back in 2004 but are still friends. Anyway...

It's like this: http://www.xkcd.com/513/

The link is not objectionable. It's totally SFW and all that...prescreened by Mr. Mod. The comic SO sums up my situation with this girl.

The fact that there is humor about this situation suggests it is not at all unique.

Eventually I will get my confidence to a level where I'll move on. I put up with this stuff because I really do consider this girl a good friend and I don't have any plans to start dating until I graduate. (I am such a wimp)

Guys, guys, guys... Women really do these things. Some women will collect male friends and keep them all at arm's length for security while she dates some stereotypical, frat guy, jerk who only wants one thing. Be on the lookout. If you are trying to have a dating relationship with a girl and she starts putting up walls, move on. Don't get ensnared like this old man.

The worst part of the whole thing is that, in spite of everything, I really do love this girl. I mean REALLY...like in the way that songs are written about. Despite the jerk things she does, there are some great things about her.

Don't listen to me. I've obviously been brain washed.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I would guess that even with a phallo, your love life still isn't going to be 'normal.'

So true...

I have heard stories. These words come to mind... "extrusion", "stricture", and "fistula". I do not like those things. DO NOT WANT!

The stories have made me pretty much rule out phallo unless a MAJOR technical advance occurs.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Eventually I will get my confidence to a level where I'll move on. I put up with this stuff because I really do consider this girl a good friend and I don't have any plans to start dating until I graduate. (I am such a wimp)

NO NO NO You got that wrong , you aren't a wimp. You are very smart.

Concentrate on your education. The women will come later when you're earning 100K + a year.

When that happens you'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Don't be a dummy like me, get a good education..

P.S. I like your new avatar( you look good )

LUV

Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

The women will come later when you're earning 100K + a year.

At which point , run like hell.

[Guest NatalieRene]

At which point , run like hell.

What if she was making six figures too?

[Guest Jackson]

Concentrate on your education. The women will come later when you're earning 100K + a year.

When that happens you'll have to beat them off with a stick.

Jean, darlin'. I don't seem to be needing any kind of stick to beat women off right now. What's up with that?

And I'm not runnin' like hell either. Trust me.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

P.S. I like your new avatar( you look good )

LUV

Jean

Why thank you!

I'm trying to look all scary in my pic. It'd probably be lame if I admitted that the beard was only semi-real, so I won't do that.

At which point , run like hell.

*takes note* Good point.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

And I'm not runnin' like hell either. Trust me.

The problem is that sometimes we know we should run but still don't.

You popular with the ladies? Lucky!

[Guest Jean Davis]

Jean, darlin'. I don't seem to be needing any kind of stick to beat women off right now. What's up with that?

And I'm not runnin' like hell either. Trust me.

Hey Jackson

If you got it you got to flaunt it a little.

If the women don't know you won't have that problem.

But your probably smarter to keep it hidden, a woman that is just after your money is the last thing you need.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

What if she was making six figures too?

Prenup at the very least.

There's this "phenomenon" with some women where "suddenly" they become poor, broke, and unemployed if they think you have 2 red nickles to rub together....

[Guest Pól]

if they think you have 2 red nickles to rub together....

What is this, some class of communist money?

[Guest NatalieRene]

Prenup at the very least.

There's this "phenomenon" with some women where "suddenly" they become poor, broke, and unemployed if they think you have 2 red nickles to rub together....

You wouldn't want your sweetie to slave away all day when she has her big strong handsome provider taking care of her would you?

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

What is this, some class of communist money?

If I had 2 red neckties, I wouldn't rub them together. I would wear them both!

[Guest Jackson]

If I had 2 red neckties, I wouldn't rub them together. I would wear them both!

At the same time? This I have to see.

At the very least we could hope for two different colors of red. Who wants two identical neckties?