People Think I Have An Eating Disorder

[Guest Thorndrop]

People (mostly my family) are convinced I have some sort of eating disorder. I don't know if they're right. They think I'm anorexic (I wouldn't go as far as to say that though). I've lost about 70lbs since 2007 and I didn't go on a specific 'crash diet' for any length of time (okay, maybe I tried it for a week and then forgot it). But my mum and my brother tend to make comments about how I look when they notice my clothes are getting too big for me. I'm about 100lbs now and I find it really hard to find clothes that fit me in most shops but I don't want to put on weight just to fit into clothes. I don't like how I look when I'm heavier than this because I start to 'fill out' in places and look more curvy and 'womanly' which was the main reason I lost all the weight in the first place, because I realised I didn't want to look curvy.

I've stayed at this weight now for a few months and I'm happy with how I look now, even though I'm technically underweight (I'm 5'5" so my BMI is 16.6 according to something online). I've tried to stop taking as much notice over what I eat and I've stopped counting calories, as hard as it is. I used to eat no more than 1000 a day but now I'd guess it's more like 1600. So I'm definetly improving with how obsessive I've been over things.

And is it normal to be terrified of gaining weight? I don't mean obviously becoming overweight, but if I gained say, 5lbs, I'd get all panicky. It's happened before and I couldn't feel comfortable untill I lost the weight.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Well Thorndrop

I can't really say that it's healthy to obsess over 5 pounds.

Especially if you start to take testosterone, you'll gain alot of weight in upper body muscle then.

But eventually it comes down to how you manage your weight and how drastic your measures.

I probablely wouldn't recommend crash diets or purging.

But a good solid exercize program and eating healthy is a great way to keep your weight in check

Exercize is good for raising your metabolism, which helps to burn calories.

But you probably already know that.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Charly]

I would recommend not looking at the scale anymore. One thing you have to keep in mind is that muscle weighs more than fat. I've lost a lot of weight recently due to going on ADD meds, but before when I was at my heaviest, scale-wise, it was when I was the most fit from getting a lot of exercise. Most of it was muscle. Then I stopped exercising and it all became fat...and now that's gone and I really would like the muscle back.

Don't be afraid of gaining weight, especially when it's a small amount. If you look at your weight at different times over the course of one day, it'll go up and down by a few pounds. Instead you could go by measuring your waist, or at least that's something my mom once said to me when I was worried about my weight.

[Guest Evan_J]

I wouldn't try to wantonly gain weight. It'll only aggravate your dysphoria if its the wrong kind of weight. Instead I would consider changing the "kind". True, you won't have the advantages of T, but that doesn't mean you can't start working on adding some upper body size in the arms, neck, even back. Check out some sites that give info on ways and times of intaking food along with exercise that bulk the body. Not "elongate" or "tone" it. There's one excercise link on my profile page, evaluate it, see if you think its usable at this point. You could also opt to take up something like kickboxing ; lots of cardio there and it would allow you more caloric intake. It also will put you in good form to hit the workouts with a vengence when you DO start T

[Guest Thorndrop]

Thanks. I do try to exercise and get stronger but it really doesn't seem to work for me. I've definetly got more stamina which is a huge plus (I'm into things like jogging and mountain biking), but I'm not strong. Honestly though, I'd prefer to be the 'skinny guy' rather than be all muscly. Don't know why, it's just what I prefer. And it may sound weird but I don't think I want to go on T as I've reached a stage where I can accept myself now for the most part. Okay so people don't see me as male, but I can tell that people are confused about me at least, and I kinda like that.